WisteriaWolverine

How many times had he had to do this?
“Too many,” he replied to his own question, as he pulled his long black coat across his front with his free hand. Then he placed the flowers under the other arm and precariously held them there, while he awkwardly raised his hands up to his mouth and blew hot breath into them, in an effort to warm up. It was so cold and the sky was dismal threatening rain. “Should have worn gloves,” he muttered to himself.
The birds were flying to and fro between the pile of dirt and their nests in the trees, and he watched them as they pecked around in the dirt hunting for their meal. Worms, big, fat, pink and wriggling hung from the beak of the odd bird that got lucky enough to dig up what it was looking for.
“One less conquering worm,” he said out loud, but no one seemed to hear him. Glancing briefly at the human chaos standing at the graveside he thought to himself, “They truly believe this to be the end of the pitiful mortal coil, the end of their dreams, the end of everything their life encompassed, passion, hate, love, fears and hopes. Here is where they think it all ends, how wrong they are. This is the consequence of enduring human life for however long one staggers down the lanes of age, yet this is not the end. And why did Andrew and Diego choose now to disappear away for a while, don’t they know we need them?”
He stared skyward and thought back to his childhood and thought for a while about how different it had been for him where he had grown up. There was no danger and wandering aimlessly anywhere at anytime never caused anyone any harm, “Unlike this place,” he thought. And the scene before him on that dismal day was not a scene that ever unfolded where he was from. He shuffled his feet because his toes felt like they had frozen solid, and then he focussed his attention back on what he was supposed to be doing.
Gazing upon the group of people standing around the graveside he could almost guess their vocations in life, and he most certainly spotted immediately the homosexual one, “They don’t even try to hide it anymore.”
The silver earring hanging from his left ear was the first clue, and the sound of his voice was the second. It was probably more his enunciation because it was very effeminate, and the way he hung onto that other man’s hand, he turned away because he couldn’t stand to look at the two of them anymore.
“What a crazy messed up world,” he said to himself.
The mere thought of men engaging in such things with each other sickened him to his very stomach and he couldn’t understand how a man could prefer to do those intimate things with another man as opposed to a beautiful woman. Any woman actually. Any woman ugly, beautiful, large or small, fisherman’s wife or stately lady, whatever, anything was preferable to doing unmentionable things with another man, and he shuddered as he processed the idea in his mind.
Then there was the blonde woman wobbling around crying softly into the chest of the red haired man, and he looked distinctly embarrassed to have her hanging onto him like that. Was she drunk? He couldn’t really tell from where he was standing, but there was definitely something amiss there. Scanning the rest of the group standing closest to the freshly dug hole in the ground he decided they were all pretty much your average group of mourners.
“Mechanics, painters, artists, lovers, dreamers, liars, cheaters, schemers, yes this group encompasses all the vices of man good and bad.”
Then there was the 'funeral shy', well that’s what he liked to refer to those people as, "and every funeral has them," he thought. Nothing much changes over the years, there are still those who simply cannot cope with death. The ones that stand as far away as they can possibly get without stepping into overt callous removal from the group. But they stand in such a way as to be unable to quite hear exactly what is being said, but close enough to know when it’s over. Far enough away for the view of the coffin being lowered into the ground to be obscured but close enough to know that it is happening. From that vantage point tears can be avoided and stoic calm can remain in tact, and as much as he found the attitude distasteful, he did understand some peoples need to avoid public displays of grief.
He was tired of his job, but it was probably the last time he had to do this, ‘thank goodness,’ he thought as he stood by the graveside staring at the young girl sitting on the ground weeping.
“You have no idea what is going on do you? You have no idea where you are supposed to be or what you are supposed to do now, you are lost, dazed and confused, and yet this is just the beginning.”
This was going to be a very tough transition and he knew she’d probably fight it all the way, in cases like this they always do, and he could hardly blame her really. “It can’t be an easy thing,” he said out loud.
As he stood there right beside the grave he watched the coffin being slowly lowered into the hole in the ground, and for some reason they had lined the hole with ferns, “Perhaps it makes it look more inviting for the deceased?” he said out loud again.
He crossed his arms and watched everyone standing around lost in their own thoughts, as people tend to do at events such as those, and he again turned his attention to the young woman on the ground, her tear streaked face. She was not staring at the coffin being lowered into the ground; she was staring at his feet. Crouching down on the other side of the hole just watching her weep, he gently dropped into the grave the beautiful wild flowers he had picked especially for her, the girl in the coffin. Purples, pinks, yellows, oranges, reds, blues, and each one selected thoughtfully by him, not one of them chosen in carelessness. He’d thought about bringing sunflowers, but more than five or six of those could really weigh a man down and they were extremely awkward to carry with their long scratchy stalks. Of course too there was the temptation he might have stood there picking out the seeds and eating them in the church, and how would that have gone over as a sign of respect for the dead?
He thought back to the minutes he had spent in the grade picking each flower, and he thought about each facet of the job he was about to undertake. The enormity of the responsibility still scared him, even then after all those years and he wondered if it would ever be different, asking himself, “When will this get easier? If it does become easy then perhaps that is the time I should start thinking about stopping?”
He would liked to have reached out over the abyss of death and held her to himself in an effort to offer her comfort, “But how do you console the inconsolable?” he asked himself.
He let his thoughts drift back to his choice of flowers, he was a sucker for sunflower seeds, “Like candy to a baby,” he said to himself, momentarily lost in his own thoughts, but then the girl stood up from the ground and began to walk toward the car.
She staggered through the mud as one would stagger trying desperately to escape a pursuer in a dream, her feet almost slipping out from under her. All those around her paid her no attention, no one offered to help her keep her balance; she thought it unusual, he knew it was normal. As she got into the black car he said to himself, “It’s ‘game on’ and no going back”.
This was the part he hated most, when it’s just happened and it never got any easier, “Human suffering seems to know no bounds.”
He was glad that no one really took any notice of him as he slipped inside the door to the house, across the kitchen and took his place leaning against a wall, unobtrusive, covert, and he just stood there and observed what was happening.
He, who was very much like the first at the side of the grave, stood in the corner at the other side of the room behind another group of people just watching him. He too was obviously trying to remain out of sight unnoticed.
“And I must endeavour to do the same because you won’t be happy to see me here at all. But I had to come; I had to see her for myself. She has changed so much over the years and she is quite different to how I remember her. When did I last see her? It must have been when she was sixteen, maybe even seventeen? I am unsure because it just seems so long ago. She is different, so different to her, and I saw this coming, I saw this whole thing coming years ago, at the duck pond, in the cupboard, in her room, that day when she was riding her horse. So many times I saw it coming yet I never thought it would end like this.”
He paid careful attention to the blonde who was staggering around a little from foot to foot. He could sense that she was uncomfortable, nervous even, and he knew why.
“But you, my brother, do not. I bet you are marvelling at the extent of human suffering, still asking yourself why human pain knows no bounds. You could never understand this, not even as a child did you understand this, and you have seen so much. Yet, unlike me, you have not become in the slightest cynical or jaded,” he said quietly to the silent witness in the corner on the other side of the room. He knew her destiny and he knew his, that unobtrusive covert watcher.
“Yes I know exactly who she is to be and you seem to have everything under control here so I will be on my way. As for her, I believe you are wasting your time, she won’t go with you today anymore than she would the first time you asked,” he quietly said as he carefully made his exit from the house. And as he walked outside past the garden he heard them speaking about the police, about her reaction, about her frigid response.
“Well what do you expect from a cold hearted murderer?” he asked, as he stared directly into the eyes of the blonde haired man with the gold earring in his left ear. He sighed and made his way back to where it was he had originated and the one who had been watching him watched no more.
As he leaned against the kitchen wall listening, it occurred to him that they were so arrogant, and he hated arrogance. It was one of the worst human traits as far as he was concerned.
“Oh yes they all think they’re immortal, untouchable, even when it happens to one of their own, they still believe it could never happen to them. Actually they think that even more so once it has happened to someone close to them because there’s only so much bad luck one can have in a lifetime. The fact that it happened to someone beside them lessened the odds to an even greater extent that it would ever happen to them.”
“Arrogant fools,” he said out loud, and as he said that he noticed the blonde woman staring straight at him, but he ignored her. He turned his attention to the girl from the graveside and observed her closely, sunglasses donned to hide the red eyes from crying, “Whom do you think you’re hiding from?” he asked as he stood there watching her.
“You cannot hide from fate my dear, fate will find you whether you are ready or not. It is much the same for everyone and there are no exceptions to the rule.”
He walked across the room and stood there staring into her face, circling around her, wisping her hair with his breath. But she was standing there mesmerised by the music emitting from the stereo, and as she listened he saw her quietly sing the words, “She listens like spring and she talks like June. But tell me did you sail across the sun did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights are faded and heaven is overrated. Tell me did you fall from a shooting star…
Then she stopped and appeared to be in a daze, and someone within the groups said, “She checks out Mozart while she does Tai Bo.”
“She loves that song,” said another. Someone rushed over to the stereo to turn the music of and the room was deathly silent. She stood there just slightly outside of the group of people gathered in the kitchen, her circle of friends, and she began listening to what they had to say as they raised their glasses in toasts to this one, that one and the other one. “No expensive Italian crystal,” he noted, “No, just the cheap imitations, not that any of them would know the difference anyway.”
He pitied them, more to the point he pitied her, her dark long hair hanging limply on her shoulders, and some of it snaking its way down her back coming to rest on her hips, the length uneven, her dress dishevelled. His eyes came to rest at her mud covered bare feet, and then he scanned back up to her face. It was colourless, almost pale, with no traces of makeup. No she wasn’t wearing any, “Well who does for an occasion such as this?” he thought to himself.
“Well obviously she does,” he said to himself as the rather large lady came into the kitchen as the group paused, searching their minds desperately for an answer to a question that had just been posed.
Her hair was swept back into a low ponytail and she was wearing dark coloured lipstick, eye shadow, thick mascara and eyeliner, “Totally inappropriate. What’s wrong with women these days, do they have no sense of pride? She looks like a street walker, a lady of the night.”
Again he noticed the blonde woman staring straight at him and then he observed her shaking her head as if to excuse him as some apparition conjured up by her muddled mind.
“Why do I always get these ones?” he asked himself. It wasn’t that he resented having to do his job, it just seemed he always got lumbered with the weird cases, and although his lifelong friend Saul had explained that it was his temperament that had led him down this path, and he still didn’t get it.
He turned his attention back to the group, and the looks of confusion on the faces of the others at not being able to source an answer to the question posed, bemused him. He observed the nervous tics of all of them kicking in as the quizzical expressions deeply furrowed the brow of each person present.
“It’s just a name, and like all names, it will come to you when you stop so desperately searching for it,” and he could have answered their question for them, but that was against the rules, well not even against the rules, it was impossible. And still she continued to stand there just outside of their little group. She was listening intently to their conversation, her level of concentration evident by the look on her face. He walked over to her straight through the horseshoe of people and circled her yet again, “You never really did feel a part of all this did you?” he asked, but she did not hear him. “How many times have you stood before people dying to say what you think and feel, yet terrified at the mere contemplation of entertaining such a thing?”
He continued to slowly circle around her, pausing every now and then trying to stare into her eyes, trying to penetrate those dark lenses, and every now and then he stood directly behind her staring over her shoulder at her group of friends. “Yalta, men and their vices,” he said to himself. “Yes Yalta was interesting.”
She shifted from foot to foot, from one to the other and then back again, and he knew it wouldn’t be long now, it wouldn’t be long before that leg began jigging, her nervous tic that gave her away every time. It was the signal that sooner or later the kid was going to blow like dynamite and it was always ugly, but not always her fault, he knew that. Things had been building up inside her for months and often they, her friends, were oblivious to her pain. Even now they didn’t even have the slightest sense of respect or pity to cease and desist from making jokes at her expense, even if only for the moment.
“Poor girl, they do not mean you harm but you are too far removed to even begin to understand what is going on here,” he said out loud.
He leaned against the bench to rest for a moment and his attention became focussed back on the blonde, what was wrong with her? She was very thin and her hair was very straggly. Despite the fact that she was dressed very nicely, he could sense a terrible hardness about the girl. Suddenly the scarlet river descended from her nose down her upper lip, over the bottom lip and down under her chin like a flood. He walked over to her and almost intercepted a man’s arm as he was passing the girl something to stem the flow from her nose.
He leaned forward and peered into her green eyes. He could see that the pupils were dilated and fixed, which he knew wasn’t normal, but he had no idea why her eyes should appear that way. “What have you been doing to yourself?” he asked.
“What did you say to me?” she asked staring straight at him.
He jumped back as she spoke to him, her response completely unexpected, and made his way back over toward the other girl, never once removing his gaze from the blonde. He continued to slowly back away from her as his heart raced inside his chest, and it felt quite an odd sensation to him, as it rarely happened.
“Is this what fear feels like? Yet I do not feel fearful, startled maybe, but not fearful.”
He continued to stare at the woman for a few minutes more wondering about what had just happened, “Can she see me?” he asked himself.
Gently he eased his body against the bench just staring at the blonde girl, and that’s when he caught the movement of her leg in his peripheral vision. That leg, it was jigging, and with every passing second the jigging became more pronounced and then the raven-haired girl blew. Oh yes, she was telling them all exactly how it is, and he’d never really heard a lady utter such obscene words as the ones coming from her beautiful mouth.
“Such a sweet looking girl too,” he said out loud as he circled her while she screamed, yelled, taunted and accused. Her hot breath hit his face as the tears cascaded down her cheeks and again, he longed to pull her to him to comfort her, yet he knew it would be in vain.
The fireworks seemed to go on forever and he could see just how tormented she felt by what they had been saying. They had bordered on the crass before her and within her hearing, and although they had obviously meant it in jest, it was no way for gentlemen to behave in front of ladies, not even in this day and age.
“Oh how my mother would have swiped me around the ears if I had EVER dared to behave this way in front of anyone, let alone a lady.”
He moved just behind the horseshoe of shocked friends so that he was facing her, and then it happened, “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.”
How many times had he seen this? And the cycle, it was so predictable. First they couldn’t breathe, then they felt light-headed, then the room warped and it was lights out as they fell to the floor. This girl was going all the way down. As she descended into the deep dark hellish pit of grief, the abyss of great darkness, she looked straight at him, reached out her hands toward him and said, “Help me…please…” and then she landed with a thud, rather unflatteringly, on the floor. The horseshoe of friends stood there staring at each other in stunned silence.
Although it was all rather dramatic to watch, they rarely, if ever, hurt themselves, he knew that now, but the first time, oh my goodness it had given him quite a start. He’d rushed over to the victim and begun tapping them on the face to try and rouse them out of it; that was until he learned that he must never do that. Saul had told him that it was better to let them come to in their own good time, and that his function was to simply ensure that the person involved remained safe. It was his job also to ensure she would get to the desired destination, through the mist, but that usually came much later on in the piece, and then after that? Well that would be up to her, with the help from a few others, but what was holding her back?
“What is keeping you where you are? Why can’t you just let it go and move on?”
But deep down inside his heart he knew she simply was not ready.

The little house looked ornate, almost like something out of a childhood story she had once read with its little red shutters aside each window. As she
passed through the big iron gates, like the gates at Farthingale Manor, she felt slightly out of sorts.
“Oh how I love the images conjured up in my mind when I read about Heaven Leigh Casteel, it’s like another world, a world where none of this confusion exists. Just like Wuthering Heights, I can hide away in that mansion any time I need, but there is no hiding from this is there?”
She gazed intently on the house and it reminded her a little of the cottage Hansel and Gretel had stumbled upon after their wicked stepmother and weak willed father had abandoned them in the forest.
“That father, what a foolish man abandoning his beautiful children for a woman, but perhaps she’d been a real sex kitten like Anna Nicole…oh man what was that silly broad’s last name? What had she said, what was it again?”
She couldn’t remember, but there were a lot of things she couldn’t remember, but not even being able to dredge up a simple last name from the miscellaneous file in her head really annoyed her. The doctor had warned her it might be like this for a while, so she knew there was no point dwelling upon it. But that blonde woman, what a ditsy little sex goddess she was, but, and like her dear friend had said, “Deflate her buoys and she loses ninety percent of her sex appeal,” she said out loud.
Her eyes started to mist up a little and she said, “I’m not thinking about you today Voh, you don’t exist for me, at least not right now, not in this moment.”
There were birds singing all over the place, the noise wasn’t loud yet it was full, almost like a symphony of nature, and she could see the birds flitting to and fro from tree to tree, from branch to twig. She apprehensively continued to walk up the driveway, looking around nervously hoping the dog had been tied up or secured at the back of the property.
The driveway was lined with gardens on both sides and the gardens were well tended by the lady who owned the property.
“Imagine ninety percent of your sex appeal coming from your boobage,” she thought to herself, “Hollywood the capital of the world of aesthetics!”
Well at least she could remember that much.
The flowers were perfect, none had wilted or even begun to turn brown under the heat of the day, and the earth around them looked moist.
“No water restrictions, how interesting, even without the water restrictions I never could grow flowers as beautiful as these, hell I couldn’t even keep a pot plant alive longer than a week, so heaven help my new cat!” she said to herself.
There were all kinds of plants growing around the place, Ginger trees, Palms even a Yucca or two were thriving in the shade of the corner garden by the house. And roses, there were roses for miles, yes this gardener really cared for her plants well and had been generously rewarded for her trouble from what she could see.
Then she fell, “Damn it,” she said as she discovered she was now lying prone on the ground, her legs tangled in a child’s tricycle, “Where the hell did that come from?”
The woman gazed out of the window toward the driveway and then called out, “Joe, you forgot to put Tay’s bike away.”
She watched the young girl as she walked up the driveway chatting away to herself and she giggled.
“Oh I used to be just like you, totally lost in my own little world, and I hardly blame you dear, the world in which you live is at best confusing, at its worst, beastly.”
The woman watched her as she gazed around at the roses and the trees that surrounded the gardens, and she called out again, “Joe, where are the keys to the cottage?”
“In the baby’s room,” he called back.
The woman rushed from the window and into the other room where Joe was sitting, “Take the baby and go out to the back garden with her Joe, she can’t know there is a baby here. It’s bad enough she’s going to trip over Tay’s bike any moment now. Oh and take Bruce with you Joe.”
“Where’s Bruce?”
“I don’t know Joe, you had him before, but if he sees her he might hurt her, you know how they get around those such as she is.”
“Ems, are we doing the right thing here?”
“I don’t know dear, I guess time will tell.”
Ems passed Saul and Edgar who were standing either side of the doorway awaiting the arrival of the girl. Both men smiled to her and Saul said, “Never fear Emily, everything will be just fine.”
Ems smiled back and then went down the hallway to await the knock on the door.
She would have sworn there was nothing on the driveway when she began walking onto Mrs. Willis’s property, well maybe she hadn’t been concentrating on what she was doing enough to see it? She rubbed her shin, then carefully disentangled herself from the little bike, got back to her feet, placed the little bike on the lawn and proceeded to limp up toward the front door. As she neared the front door she saw a black cat laying on the top step lazily sunning itself, “Oh to be a cat on a day like this,” she casually commented as she stepped over it to knock on the door. Her trip over the tricycle momentarily erased from her mind.
She tapped on the door three times, and just as she was to tap a fourth time the door opened and there she stood. Saul gazed intently into the girl’s eyes and Edgar just stood there staring at Saul waiting to see if the girl would notice either of them.
“Hello Kodi dear, you’ve come for the keys?”
“Yes, and I put the little bike on your lawn, I kind of tripped over it.”
“It would not be a good idea to allow her to think the bike was real Emily, pretend you know nothing of it,” said Saul.
Edgar looked quizzically at Saul, “Why?”
“She would only be confused by it at the moment Edgar and later on it may come in handy for us to remind her of it then.”
“Then again it may mean nothing,” suggested Edgar.
“You may well be right my dear old friend, but for now we do things my way,” and Saul smiled kindly at Edgar who was less experienced in these matters than he. He knew that Saul was also acting under instructions from someone higher up then himself and he knew Andrew knew what was best in the situation.
“What little bike love?” asked Mrs. Willis as she stared out past Kodi in the direction of the lawn.
“The little red one over there…” Kodi turned to point to the bike on the lawn, but it wasn’t there, “What the…?”
She turned back to face Mrs. Willis, and Mrs. Willis just smiled at her and said, “Well you just stay put here and I’ll go fetch the keys for you, and mind Bruce there,” she said as she pointed to the cat.
“Ems, where did you put the…my flies? I can’t fish without my flies young lady.”
The girl turned her head in the direction of the sound of Joe’s voice and moved from foot to foot as she then gazed down at the wooden step both men stood either side of. Both Edgar and Saul turned to face Joe who was supposed to be in the back garden, “Do not speak of it because she can hear you and stay out of her line of vision because if she can hear you, then she can see you,” said Saul.
Both Saul and Edgar both silently hoped that the baby in his arms would not stir and remain silent. As Andrew watched the situation unfolding from where he was he ensured that the baby continued to sleep.
Kodi had a giggle to herself and then stared at Bruce, “Young lady? Mrs. Willis has to be at least sixty-years old if not more,” she said to the sleeping cat.
Kodi looked down at her shin where she had connected with the little bike and saw that there was no mark there to indicate she’d hurt herself at all. “Okay, that’s weird,’ she said to herself.
Mrs. Willis called something out to the man who owned the voice, but Kodi didn’t catch what it was, but she heard the man chuckling. Kodi hoped with all her heart that when she was sixty or so that she’d be just as in love as they obviously still were. What she did not know was that although Emily appeared to be around sixty, that she was not seeing things clearly, Emily was no closer to looking sixty than she was.
She thought about crouching down to pat the sleeping cat, but as soon as she processed that thought the cat growled, and so she stepped closer to the open door. Edgar and Saul backed back a little so as not to come in contact with the girl, but she couldn’t see them anyway. Bruce opened one eye and stared at her with what appeared to be disdain. “Is it possible for a cat to feel disdain?” she asked herself.
“Oh yes it is,” said Edgar as he stared at Saul.
The cat proved that it was indeed possible for a cat to not only feel disdain but to express it as he leapt at her scratching her right down her leg, “Horrid creature,” she said as she jumped inside the door.
“Good grief,” said Edgar as he watched the scratch bead with blood.
“Ok that’s interesting,” said Saul, “I didn’t think she would be affected by things here so soon.”
“Could it be a random occurrence?” asked Edgar.
“I’m not sure of anything with this one. She saw the bike and Emily, and she can hear Joe, yet she can’t see you or I. Weirder still, Bruce can see her and she can see Bruce.”
“What about Troy?” asked Edgar.
“Well that’s another weirdness, she sees him only every now and then, and to be really honest with you Edgar, I don’t really know why that is.”
“So what do we do now?”
“Just watch her, see what happens because there isn’t much else we can do, but you spoke to Heathcliff?”
“Yes, and he’s resisting us at every turn,” said Edgar
“Great. Between her and him, I swear we have on our hands possibly two of the most stubborn people that ever lived and we have to somehow coerce them into being with each other, this is going to be interesting.”
“You think Andrew and Diego knew this?” asked Edgar with a smile.
“I fear their trip away may very well not have been a coincidence,” said Saul smiling back at Edgar.
Kodi heard the Ems coming down the hall as the keys jingled in her hand, so she quickly stepped outside the door again, heaven forbid Mrs. Willis should find her standing inside her house uninvited.
“Here you are dear, and remember if you find anything that needs fixing you be sure to let me know, and I’ll be sure to have it tended to.”
“Thank you very much Mrs. Willis I will.”
“I will try to pop down and see you from time to time okay Kodi dear?”
“Yes Mrs. Willis, um, yeah, that will be nice.”
Ems noticed the hesitation in Kodi’s voice, “Don’t worry dear, I promise I will not turn into the landlord from hell and become bothersome to you or anything like that.”
Kodi was relieved to hear it because the last thing she wanted was her landlord breathing down her neck. Kodi made her way down the driveway back to her car, muttering to herself about the psychotic cat and feeling the stinging on her leg where he had boofed her one. At least this time she saw the tricycle before she fell over it, not after. She started up the car, did a U-turn and drove over to the other side of town, across the bridge and out into the country.
Edgar, Saul, Joe and Emily watched Kodi walk down the driveway and as she did so, they saw her skirt around the little red bike.
“That’s so strange Saul, she’s seeing things she shouldn’t be able to see, and not seeing others that she should also be able to see,” said Emily.
“I can’t get over how pretty she is, despite the scars,” said Joe as he cradled the little baby in his arms.
“Well nothing is as it seems and I’m not sure where we are to go from here, but Edgar?”
“Yeah,” said Edgar as stared out at Kodi.
“You need to go and see Heathcliff, you have to try and get him to go back over,” said Saul.
“What if he won’t, what if he point blank refuses?” asked Joe.
“And what about this one?” asked Ems as she pointed to the sleeping baby cradled still in her husband’s arms.
“Might as well tell him about that too while you are there,” said Saul.
“He’s not going to like the idea Saul,” said Edgar staring at his very good friend.
“Well its not like he has a choice now is it? Besides,” he said staring at Emily, “mothers have their ways with their sons so worst case scenario, as Andrew said, Emily can deal with it.”
“Remind me to thank Andrew next time I see him,” said Emily smiling.
“Blasted cat, no wonder Poe murdered his, well not Poe, but you know what I mean?” Kodi said as she reflected on Bruce the cat. “He sure is lucky that the fury of a demon didn’t instantly possess me else he’d find himself hanging from the limb of a tree, although I can safely say that I would NOT have had tears streaming down my face, evil little fiend that Bruce! Oh Harry I am so glad you are nothing like Bruce the bitch. Can a cat called Bruce be a bitch? Well Harry?” she asked as Harry curled up in his cat cage in a manner that appeared to be a reflection of the same disdain Bruce had portrayed earlier.
“Teach me to lay my faith and my friendship in an animal that is so unpredictable, arrogant and unappreciative, and you are, aren’t you, Harry? Well don’t YOU ever get it into that furry little head of yours to turn all medieval on me you hear?”
Harry continued to ignore her. She wound down the window of her car and in an instant half thought of opening Harry’s cage and inviting him, in Poe-like fashion, to make his daring escape, “Oh no, I could never be that cold,” she said out loud.
She felt so much better out in the country where the air felt clear and she was looking forward to the writer’s dream. A house in the country, quiet solitude, writing until all hours of the night if she so wished, reading Poe in the evening by candle-light, sleeping until lunchtime if she so desired. Kodi was looking forward to walks in the evening over the paddocks, watching the birds returning home to their trees for the night, maybe picking mushrooms in the autumn or the spring, did they sprout in autumn or spring or both? She couldn’t remember, oh well she’d soon find out.
As she made her way up the driveway to her new house she noticed the house to the left, it looked dark and ominous, and it was surrounded by so many trees it was a wonder she noticed it at all. She probably wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been for the windstorm; yes the wind had been blowing a gale the first time she had ever seen this little house, one week ago today.
How quickly one’s life can change, just when you think you have it all figured out then something happens just to remind you that it’s never really figured out for sure. And the panic attacks, they’d driven her into the ground, just sapped any strength she had left to try and concentrate on anything else. Yeah, life had been hard and relationships had failed, she wanted seclusion, nothing to do with the world and the world could just sod off and leave her alone too.
“If you don’t bother me then I won’t bother you, deal?” she asked of the empty inside of the car.
The only connection she was happy to maintain with the outside world was the phone because she might need it in case of emergency, well she didn’t know anyone to phone, but still she got it hooked up just to be safe. And Harry, yes he was going to fill in the moments of boredom, and every house needs a cat she had always thought, at least Harry was nothing like Bruce the black devil she had just met at Mrs. Willis’ house. Harry would be happy here out here in the country where he could chase mice, so long as he didn’t bring them into the house.
“I remember my cat that I had when I was sixteen Harry, she used to catch mice and bring them in my bedroom window. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she’d jump on the bed and drop them onto my chest…while they were still alive. Then they’d run across my bed and I’d scream and it was really very ugly. I hate mice Harry, got it?”
She parked the car in the shed by the house, “Actually what do they call it here?” she asked Harry, whom she removed from the cage and tucked under her arm, as she climbed out of the car.
“I wonder what they call it Harry? I don’t think they call it a shed, I think they might call it a garage, but I’m not too sure.”
Kodi carried Harry to the door and then held him up in front of her and looked him in the eye, “Remember Harry, NO LIVE MICE!”
Then she gently placed him on the ground and went inside the house to sort her things out, and while she was doing that, Harry trotted over the paddock to check out the house behind the tree line.
Once she was finished setting all her things up around the house just the way she liked them to be she went outside to look at her surroundings. The trees looked beautiful, and as she stared out across the paddock she thought she saw Harry jumping through the long grass, and she couldn’t be sure, but she thought she’d heard a man calling out angrily behind him.
In the afternoon sunlight the shades of green were stunning, almost as though an artist hand had heightened the colours. Once Harry returned home, she decided that she’d make a coffee and sit on the porch swing and watch the birds return home from there for their first evening. Besides, Harry needed to be kept an eye on least he try to wander back to the cat shelter, “Not a good idea Harry, so don’t try it.”
The sun set quickly on her first day in the new house and she was really tired so she went to bed early. It felt good to lie beneath the cool silk sheets because the heat of summer was relentless, even in the evening. So she closed her eyes and drifted easily off to sleep.
Standing on the porch of the house she looked out at the line of beautiful trees, the morning sun glistening off the dewdrops on the leaves, “dew drops in summer, kind of strange,” she thought.
Then all of a sudden the trees began to bend over toward her by unseen force, and she could hear a roaring noise that sounded like a concord taking off and then the trees burst into flames. She stood there transfixed by the sight and sounds, but then Harry leapt at her from the balcony hissing and spitting breaking her concentration on the tree line fire.
Harry’s fur was scorched and she could smell burning flesh, so she decided, in her panic, to go back inside the house. As she went to run inside the house, she noticed the house was giving off extreme heat and the paint was beginning to melt and slide off the wood. It was like a birthday cake left in the sun. She stood there frightened, confused and wondering what she should do. Her heart was pounding inside her chest and she felt abandoned and alone as she always did when she had dreams that involved terror and panic.
She looked at the green paddock with the long grass because beyond it she knew he was there, perhaps he would help her; maybe he would know what to do? The more she thought about it the more drawn she felt toward the house across the paddock behind the line of trees.
“But I’ve never met him before, I don’t even know him.”
But a still small voice was urging her to cross the paddock, and by the time she had finished thinking about whether she should go or not, the heat from the house and the burning trees was so intense that she was running out of options anyway. The only choice left to her was to climb the fence and make her way over to the stranger in the house across the paddock, and as she ran across the paddock she began to feel safer. But just as she was thinking she could stop panicking, she saw him standing there. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, “Is hdeuamduj ajfiey,” he said.
“What?”
She couldn’t make out what he was trying to say; it sounded like gobbledygook, and she began to feel a little more fearful. He reached out his arms toward her and she slowed down so fast she slipped down into the grass, cat and all. She lay in the grass trying to get to her feet and she knew she should let go of the cat in order to speed the process up, but she was deathly scared that Harry would run off and become lost. She feared being unable to find him again and he was all she had, so she had to take care of him.
The blonde haired blue eyed man called to her again and he was moving toward her and Harry. As his voice began to get louder and more audible over the top of the roaring fire she, for some reason, became deathly afraid of him, and Harry was hissing and spitting again the closer she got to him. He was still speaking some kind of strange garbled language that she couldn’t understand, and so she turned to run back in the direction she had come from. As she ran, she found that the only path for escape was to run through the wall of fire that had formed before her. Despite the fact that she did not relish the thought of doing that, she knew she had to get away from the man who was still calling to her.

So straight into the wall of fire she ran and she could feel it burning her flesh and the pain was like a terrible torment, but her sense of relief at escaping the man was stronger than the sensation of pain. She awoke with a start and Harry was chasing something around the floor in the dark hissing and spitting at it.
“You’ve got a live mouse haven’t you Harry?” she asked in an effort to take the sting out of her bad dream.
Her breathing was laboured, she was sweating like an athlete in a marathon, her hands were shaking and as she fumbled for the switch on her bedside lamp she accidentally knocked it to the floor smashing it. So she climbed out the other side of the bed and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water.
As she walked out to the kitchen she walked very slowly checking out every shadow on the way, staring at every open door, straining her eyes to see into every corner just in case something or someone should jump out at her unexpectedly. The thought of someone grabbing her from behind terrified her and she almost decided to forfeit the drink of water until the morning.
“Nothing looks the same in the light, everything seems different. Things that freak a girl out in the night seem stupid during the day, so why don’t I just pretend that it is day? I really need a drink. I have obviously watched way too many horror movies in my life, Amityville, Psycho, Halloween, Freddy, all of those movies where people get snuck up on or jumped out at.”
When she got to the kitchen she thought about switching on a light because it would make her feel safer.
“But what if someone is outside Harry? They’ll be able to see in, at least this way no one can see where I am.”
“I have no neighbours, well except for him, but other than that I’m in the middle of nowhere and he is probably tucked up in bed, or has better things to do than hang around in my yard all night. Why do I always think something bad’s going to happen all the time, what’s the matter with me? Oh yeah, like I said before, too many horror movies!”
She was paranoid, she knew she was paranoid, “I’d have to be, because I have no reason to be acting so scaredy cat, no offence Harry.”
Kodi reached into the cupboard to get a glass and accidentally knocked a couple of glasses over inside the cupboard. The clanking glass against glass made her jump and it took a few seconds for the fright to ebb away enough for her to risk putting her hand in the cupboard to reach for another. Finally she managed to get a hold of one and she shakily filled it with water from the tap. Her hands were so shaky she feared that when the glass tapped against the side of the faucet nozzle that it might just hit hard enough to smash into pieces in her hand.
“I must go and get some plastic cups Harry then all these problems will be solved in one foul swoop.”
She put the glass to her mouth, and as she drank the cool water, she looked out the window toward the trees that obscured his house, but they were not there.
“What?” she asked herself, feeling slight panic rising up inside her, “where’s the trees?”
In her fright she let go of the glass and it fell into the sink smashing against a plate that was already in there, and the noise from that served to further fracture the silence, causing her to feel even more fear. She remembered how in her dream the other trees had been on fire, “But that was just a dream, this isn’t a dream, where’s the trees? Perhaps I am still asleep? Don’t be stupid Kodi, of course you’re not asleep, when have you ever had a panic attack in your sleep?”
She moved closer to the window to get a better look, but still there were no trees, and then she began to feel the panic turning into terror as she backed away from the window, but then a light pierced the darkness and illuminated the trees that surrounded his house.
Kodi was so relieved to see that all was well that she began to relax, but Harry caused the silence to again be shattered when he chased something across the floor and under the small table. The movement of Harry’s back hitting the table caused the lamp on the table to rock from side to side. Kodi watched the lamp as it swayed deciding whether to tumble to the floor or not.
The moonlight shining through the window caused the lamp to cast an eerie shadow on the wall and for a few seconds Kodi was mesmerised just watching the shadow swaying from side to side, but the sound of the lamp smashing on the floor brought her back to reality.
“I forgot how destructive cats can be,” she said out loud to Harry who couldn’t care less; he didn’t understand human speak. “Maybe it was just being in a half-sleep state?” she asked herself, “Maybe it’s those tricks of vision? She said it can happen, so did he.”
The self-help book that lay beside her bed written by the famous, but now deceased, woman doctor contained the only answers that she was able to find for the attacks when they had started. She had been relieved to discover that it was merely a severe emotional and physical reaction she had to stress as opposed to a brain tumour.
The symptoms of anxiety were as varied as they were weird, spots in front of the eyes, numbness in limbs, racing heart, the sense of impending doom, the fight or flight reaction, the dry mouth, and the forgetfulness. The horror scenarios that can play on someone’s mind during a panic attack were vile, she knew that and the memory loss could be such that one may not even be able to recollect their own address. The symptom that Kodi hated the most was the one where a person could feel as though they’d just smoked a hundred joints in a row, and everything seemed plastic. That was the symptom that got to Kodi the most because she felt disconnected when it hit, like she was inside a plastic bubble, like she was quite outside of life.
As she gazed out of the window, she was relieved to see that everything was back to normal across the way. But she would have sworn on a stack of bibles that the trees had not been there nor the house because she’d been able to see across the paddocks for miles before the light came on.
As she processed the thought about the bibles, her mind went off at a tangent, “Isn’t that strange Harry? No one really believes in God any more, hell they’re not even allowed to pray in school, yet whenever something goes wrong it’s God’s fault. If there’s a natural disaster, it’s called an act of God, like the odds of something like that happening are so low that you’d be more likely to win lotto. But still, it’s God’s fault, never mind they don’t believe in him enough to let kids pray in school, or did I say that already? Then there’s the justice system; their benchmark for truth is swearing an oath to God.
Can no one else see the irony in getting people to swear to tell the truth upon someone that most people don’t believe is real anyway? They think people will be too scared to lie after swearing an oath to someone they don’t believe exists in the first place? Yet they have started wars over God, well religion, but they connect God and religion as the same thing here, and entire ethnicities have been almost permanently erased from the planet in the name of God. But NO, he’s still not real.
Man humans are strange weird little creatures. If a kid gets murdered, that’s God’s fault, when someone dies, they’re in Heaven safe in the arms of Jesus, YET God’s not real, he’s just a crutch, a fantasy for those who don’t have the balls to face life on their own steam. Well I think he’s real, I think he’s very real. Some are believers and some don’t know Harry, and yet in the same way God is universally rejected, he is universally blamed. And what’s he doing up at this hour anyway?” she asked as she stared out toward the light from his house that was still shining.
“Perhaps he is standing in his kitchen getting a drink of water too and wondering whether I am skulking around in his back yard? I doubt it though. Maybe that light is in his bathroom? In that case I should stop wondering what it is that he is doing up at this hour.”
Harry meowed at her as though he’d listened intently and understood every word she had said, which of course Kodi knew he hadn’t.
“You’re just in it for the biscats aren’t you Harry? Sucker, you’re not getting any at this hour, you can wait for breakfast, and no more knocking stuff over during the night, it scares the shit out of me.”
Harry wandered away as though the mere idea that he had been suckered into listening to her because of the certainty of biscats being his reward filled him with complete and utter disgust. Kodi returned to bed and dozed on and off until morning disturbed by the tricks of vision, and frightened at the thought of returning to her dream.

When Kodi later that morning she went to the kitchen, made herself a coffee and went and sat outside on the porch just thinking, thinking back to that day while Harry mooched at her feet and occasionally nudged her leg.
She’d woken up to the beeping of her digital alarm clock. At first it had been just a vague sound somewhere outside of her head, but it had become louder and louder, penetrating her deep sleep, causing her to awake. Chas had been standing above her, “Kodi, this is it girlfriend, you have to get going now, come on, time to make your way across the mist.”
Chas had always had a novel idea about that place you go to on your way to sleep and the same place you pass through to wake again, that place where you’re neither asleep nor awake, he called it the Sandanizta Mist.
Passing through the Sandanizta Mist where you’re not sure whether what you’re seeing and hearing or even saying is real or imagined. When asked for an explanation for the word ‘Sandanizta’ he had simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “It sounds beautiful and mysterious.”
Then he’d go on to tell the story about that time when he was around nine and he had come off his bike on the road in front of a car. The car actually hit him and some dark haired man had appeared before him and told him it was time for him to go. When Chas had innocently asked, “Where?” the man had said, according to Chas, “Time to come to another place across the Sandanizta Mist.”
Chas didn’t want to go anywhere and had spent quite some time in the hospital recovering from the accident. Ruby had been with Chas at the time, but the way she remembered it, Chas was lying on the ground with his leg stuck under the car babbling on incoherently, “Although,” she’d added at the time, “he did seem to be staring straight ahead at something.”
Kodi realized she’d overslept and she needed to get there on time, “I mean how would it look if I, of all people, turned up late Harry? It’s all so foggy; the incident, the police turning up, the funeral arrangements, and why really should I have cared because the whole thing had been nothing but a misery up until that point anyway? Got to keep up appearances Harry, I remembered thinking at the time. Oh Harry I was so shallow, well it wasn’t that long ago so maybe I still AM shallow?”
The church was filled to overflowing with work colleagues, families, friends and probably the odd funeral follower as well because she really didn’t recognize some of those there. Some were childhood friends who had turned up merely out of curiosity.
As the coffin was carried out of the big old English style church, everyone was respectfully silent, and she led the procession following the coffin out. It was only fitting that she should. Even though she really hadn’t heard a word that had been spoken. She never really saw the coffin either for that matter, “At least I don’t think I saw the coffin Harry, in fact, I didn’t see it at all. Maybe I just avoided looking? I have never been good with weddings or funerals, so maybe that’s it, what do you reckon puss?”
Kodi leaned forward and scratched Harry’s tummy, “That’s to say sorry for suckering you in with the biscats last night.”
“What did the preacher say again? What was it?” she asked herself as she sat there scratching Harry’s tummy.
“ Oh man Harry, even now I can’t recollect one spoken word from inside that gothic little church, damn anxiety forgetfulness, you’ve erased part of my memory.”
The scene at the graveyard was terrible; she’d dropped to her knees beside the coffin and had wept uncontrollably. Marcia had said, “Oh Kodi,” but no one had tried to comfort her because they knew it was impossible under the circumstances to say anything at all that would bring solace to the young woman.
And then there was the dark haired man who had dropped flowers into the open grave, he was there one moment and then when Kodi looked away for a second and then looked back, he was gone. But then the scent of male aftershave in the air took her thoughts from the dark haired man and the smell tried to take her mind back to some dark place. It was an event that filled her with fear, but she could not remember what it was exactly, all she knew for sure was that it was something terrifying and that if she could she would avoid ever remembering what it was. Once she managed to turn her thoughts from the strangely familiar fragrance she looked once more for the man, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“But while he was there Harry, I saw his shoes and they were like those old fashioned boots, black and shiny, I don’t know, perhaps I imagined that part? There’s been a lot of weirdness since that day. But I remember he was wearing a long dark coat and he had flowers and they were so pretty. I also remember that there were quite a few people standing some distance away from the grave, almost like they were too scared to move any closer. Why do people do that Harry? What is it about death that scares them so?”
No one had bothered to try to hug her; no one else said anything at all at the graveside that she could recollect. Well except some smart-ass had said something out loud at a very inopportune moment, “One less conquering worm.”
“That was probably Chas, he’s always saying dumb things to make people feel better Harry. I think you’d like Chas and he’d like you too.”
So Kodi had gone uncomforted because she was never really the ‘touchy feely’ type person who one could just embrace in a friendly hug or any kind of hug for that matter. Whenever anyone tried, she would laughingly shrug him or her off or jokingly slink out of physical contact, making some kind of crude joke to hide her discomfort.
When she finally made it to her feet again, she looked at everyone around her dressed in black, and it seemed to her that it looked almost like a scene out of The Omen, as opposed to the funeral of a beloved.
“Beloved, that’s a joke Harry, there was nothing beloved about my sister.”
The dark depressing sky overhead, the ravens in the trees, just waiting to soar down at some unsuspecting person in an effort to cause even more bizarre unexpected, horrifying carnage.
“Poe would have loved it Harry, seriously.”
Kodi had seen all four of The Omen movies, but she’d felt as though she was committing some terrible sin by watching them, and so the joy of watching something that interested her had been tarnished by a deep sense of guilt. She had once owned all five of the books, and she’d enjoyed them too, but she had felt kind of creeped out by their presence in her house (and owning them had felt like yet another great sin) so one day she’d just burned them.
“One part of the story was just like the story of King Herod, and the murdering of all baby boys born at a certain time had been undertaken too, so that the child who would bring about Damien’s downfall would never get the chance. Of course the methods of death were very weird. The irony of the story being Harry, that it was Damien’s son who had finally ended up with the power and strength to rid the world of his father’s evil existence and had done just that…in a church graveyard in the dark of night.” At least that was the way Kodi remembered it ending, but memory was not a reliable commodity these days.
“That part was very creepy and at one part I almost felt bad for Damien, I mean it wasn’t his fault to be born as what he was, in fact none of us can control who we’re born as can we? But when I thought back on all he had done, well I didn’t feel that sorry for him in the end and truth be told Harry, Damien would have made a really good boyfriend for Marli. I can’t believe I said that Harry, that’s terrible.”
Kodi sat there for a few moments disgusted at her own thought processes.
“And of course like all good movie series, someone had to go and push the envelope so far they wrecked it Harry. I mean it’s like the Rocky movies, what are they up to now, Rocky 10’000? I can’t stand Sylvester Stallone, he’s such a…he sounds so…. Anyway, like anyone would believe a girl could be the anti Christ? But I tell ya something Harry, I adore the way Arnie took pot shots at Rocky in a few of his movies for a while there. But one thing I don’t really understand Harry is how come I can remember a horror movie with spectacular clarity, well almost, yet I'm so vague on my sister's funeral?”
The name Damien had never sounded the same to Kodi since the Omen movies, and pre The Omen, Damien had been one of her favourite names. Just as Rottweilers had been her favourite breed of dog, but the Omen had put pay to that too, and after that story she tended to be a little wary of Rotties.
“I’m so glad Mrs. Willis had her Rottie tied up that day, couldn’t have coped with meeting that demented thing again. Funny thing was though, yesterday when I picked up the keys from Mrs. Willis that dog was nowhere to be seen. There wasn’t even a dog poop on her lawn and she had a cat. Aren’t people either dog people or cat people? I didn’t think someone who had a cat would have a dog, I mean I don’t, but she did, well at least I think she did.”
The first time Kodi had come out to see the house she’d met Mrs. Willis’ in the driveway and her dog Stone, a beautiful Rottweiler had run out and lunged at Kodi. The bizarre part of it all was that Mrs. Willis was insistent that she didn’t even have a dog, “But I saw him Harry, he was as real as you are. I saw his name on his collar, and I heard him spit barking.”
Kodi sat there thinking about Mrs. Willis, Stone, and the little red bike, and she pondered on how strange the whole thing was. But, and as the good doctor had said, weird things happen when you’re under stress.
“So maybe it all was just a part of being strange thoughts in my very tired mind huh Harry? But who imagines a dog that doesn’t even exist or tripping over a little red bike? Weirdest bit of all Harry? That little red bike was right back on the driveway where I tripped over it when I left. I don’t get it; it’s all so bizarre so maybe I should just stop thinking about it. There’s always been weird stuff in my life Harry, like when I was little, I had this friend, a tall guy with dark hair and I used to see him all the time. No one else could see him though, just me and once he even pushed me over and that’s how I got this scar on my head, see Harry?”
Kodi lifted her fringe to show the cat her scar, but the cat just lay on the concrete purring with his eyes shut.
“I was only four when I got this scar, I was going to help a man go …well I don’t remember what I was going to do, but he pushed me over. Anyway this old lady helped to fix my head and even she saw him, well she said she could see him but then it turned out she was just playing along with me. I was so disappointed though because I really wanted someone else to back me up, and because no one ever did Harry, I had to admit that he wasn’t real at all. I suppose I’m not the only kid who had a make believe friend, but most kids grow out of it by the time they are five. My friend hung around for years and it was only when I started ignoring him when I was about thirteen that he finally disappeared and I didn’t see him anymore. Do you think that’s why I thought I saw him at Marli’s funeral, because I needed to bring him to life again? I hope it’s not going to start all over again, I can’t afford to go crazy now.”
Harry got up and moved further down onto the concrete away from her legs where he had been mooching and being mooched. Kodi watched him and said, “Good versus evil, God versus Satan, Damien versus his son, me versus my twin. Why is life like this? Why do we constantly feel the need to have these good verses evil battles, I mean what’s wrong with us anyway? What’s that all about Harry?”
Harry rolled onto the warm concrete and sunned himself ignoring her, he who holds the biscats rules, and she had no biscats in her possession.

At the house after the graveyard everyone had been so careful not to upset her, and whenever she walked into some part of the house where people were talking, they’d suddenly stop as she entered into their circle. But after a while they’d all tired of walking on broken glass, of trying to ever so carefully walk over egg shells without breaking any and they all just let loose.
“Her sister, you’d think she’d have at least had the balls to do something to help, you know…” he trailed off as Kodi entered the room.
“The evil sister more like it, well that’s what…” a sharp jab to the ribs shut the woman up pretty fast. They all stared at Kodi but said nothing.
“Apparently she had an appointment at the hospital today,” said Faith.
“What do you mean?” asked Chas.
“A private hospital,” said Faith who looked at them to see if they’d clicked to what she was speaking of.
“You’re joking, she didn’t?” asked John.
“Aha,” said Faith.
“I don’t believe it, is there any level she won’t stoop to?” asked John.
“She’s been to see George already, but I don’t think he knows the whole story.”
John looked at Chas who averted his gaze to Faith.
“What are you two up to, what do you know that I don’t?” Faith looked from John to Chas and from Chas to John.
“I suspect she’s been telling untruths to certain important people, but I’m thinking about going out tomorrow and setting the record straight. Well maybe not tomorrow, might take me a few days to get up the courage.”
“Chas just leave it, you don’t want to mess with those people,” warned Xaan.
“We’ll see,” said Chas.
“That bitch does not…” another jab was delivered to the ribs of Faith and she immediately shut up.
“Don’t mind me, you can say what you like, it’s fine, truly,” Kodi said, and then she stood there wondering why they had not acknowledged what she said. Instead, they all just looked away from her. A few staring at the floor. A few others gazed out the window, but no one made eye contact.
Her girlfriend Kate came into the room and looked at them all and said, “Elmo,” to which they all burst out into uncontrollable laughter, “Oh my gosh,” said Kodi joining the laughter.
“So did you ever meet her at all?” Kate asked John.
“Oh I met her all right, nasty piece of work, always treated Kodi like she was a lower form of life, isn’t that right Kodi?” Kate tapped her long fingernails on the Formica bench.
“Ah…well…I don’t think she meant it that way,” said Kodi, who again was ignored.
“She hated you, she hated your success, your writing, she thought you were a dreamer, and she hated you for that George thing.”
“Ah yes that George thing, totally out of my control though,” said Kodi staring at Kate.
“But still, you always went back for more, and I could never understand why you did that,” Kate tapped both her sets of fingernails on the bench top and it sounded like several horses ploughing through the middle of an ice rink.
“She’s my sister, that’s what sisters do, that’s family, you love no matter what,” Kodi replied.
“Loving her no matter what, well that got you a long way with her didn’t it? She deserves to be cold in the ground!”
Kate turned and walked from the room leaving Kodi standing there feeling extremely embarrassed in front of the group of people, still, none of them would make eye contact with her. They all tried to act as though Kate and her had not locked horns over her sister, that Kate had not embarrassed Kodi dreadfully in front of them.
“Man that sure was ugly Harry, and I have never seen Kate behave that way before, ever. She’s usually so polite and quiet, doesn’t like to upset everyone. Well except for the time she caught John messing around on her with that horrid blond girl, the really ditsy one from the bakery. Oh my gosh that was so funny, well I thought it was funny.
You should have seen her Harry she marched right into the bakery and she asked the chick straight up, “Are you sleeping with my boyfriend?” and the blond chick, I think her name was Cinnem, she went bright red. Anyway when she didn’t say anything, Kate reached into the cake shelves and she started throwing cream buns and things at her.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I just laughed and laughed, and while I laughed, Cinnem began throwing cakes and pies back at Kate.
Some of the customers ran out of the shop, and some of them just stood there staring in disbelief like me. And let me tell you something else for nothing too Harry, Afghans leave a nasty mark when they hit someone in the face.
Anyway, in the end the manager came out and tried to get them to knock it off, but Cinnem and Kate wouldn’t stop, so he rang the cops. Poor Cinnem and Kate, because it turned out that John had a wife, and I say had because he doesn’t have her anymore, she left him, but her name was Tiffany. John screwed around on her for years; he’s such a schmuck, although he was really good when her sister Annie died in the car accident. I didn’t know them then, but apparently Tiffany fell to pieces, her sister was pregnant, drunk driver, blah, blah, blah. John ended up doing everything for Tiffany for a while there after Annie died because she took to her bed for months. But anyway, despite the seriousness of the whole situation between Cinnem and Kate, I’m telling you Harry that fight is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Kate and Cinnem didn’t get charged with anything, in the end the manager said if they both cleaned up the mess they’d made then he wouldn’t press charges. Cinnem still lost her job though, and she was the one who told Kate about John’s wife Tiffany and she knew about it because Annie was her best friend. Such a small world huh Harry?
It was all so complicated and ugly for a while there, and all because of one person. But Cinnem and Kate ended up being friends in the end and Kate felt really bad about what she did to Cinnem because that job was all she had. She’d been supporting her mother for years because her mother had a nervous breakdown when Cinnem’s sister Tarryn was murdered by some psycho nut job. Tarryn’s father attacked the guy, did some nasty damage too and then shot him to death, but that just made her mother worse, and we think we’ve had shit in our lives Harry, that’s just as bad as it gets. Anyway Kate felt sorry for Cinnem, so she helped her to get another job. She had a really wealthy uncle who was also Tarryn’s god father, but once he died the family kind of fell apart, what family wouldn’t after that huh Harry?”
Kodi stared off out into the distance for a few minutes and then she said to Harry, “it’s very weird how life works out sometimes Harry, it really is.”
“Remember the book launch?” asked John.
“How could we forget?” said Toby.
“Have you ever seen anything like that before?” asked Gary.
“George was absolutely livid, never mind how Kodi felt,” John played with the stem of his glass as he thought back to that night, “I half expected him to have her taken outside and dealt with.”
“Well all evil twins should be taken outside, lined up against a wall and shot!” Chas laughed at his own joke, but no one was really in the mood for more laughter.
Kodi couldn’t believe they were going to rehash that horrid ordeal right in front of her and on a day like this.
“She was so drunk and I knew something was going to happen, I just knew it.” Rose raised her glass, “to Kodi.”
“To Kodi,” they all said raising their glasses in her direction.
“Remember the picnic on the side of the freeway?” asked Faith, with a curious smile on her face.
“There’s no way I’m ever going to forget that day, not as long as I live,” said Chas looking shaken, “it still scares me to remember it now.”
“Oh it wasn’t that bad Chas,” said Xaan.
“No well you weren’t in the car with her were you?” said Chas.
“All I remember is Journey blaring out of the car speakers and a certain bald man…” Faith was cut off by Ruby.
“Let’s not remember that scene today of all days.”
“Okay, so let’s raise our glasses to her and be done…” John was cut off.
“Ooh …ooh wait a fucking minute, we need to toast that guy…that…that writer…oh god, what was his name?” Chas asked staring around at the group.
“Oh yes, the horrid little Gothic chap…ah …ah...” John bumbled.
“Poe,” said Kodi and Rose at the exact same moment.”
“Oh yes, Edgar Allan Poe, horrid poet, dreadful story teller, absolutely…”
“…Talentless drunken fool,” finished Faith for Chas.
“What did you see in that man Kodi?” Chas asked staring in her direction.
“Oh but she liked them that way Chas, drunk, hopeless and talentless.”
“Yes I’m aware of that Ruby…but…”
“I didn’t say that, that was Rose!”
“Oh sorry Ruby. Rose!” Chas turned his attention to the real perpetrator of such Poe disdain, “Poe wasn’t actually that bad.”
“Ravens tap tap tapping standing on the challis bust or whatever…”
“Yes, your bust would be far more preferable,” said John staring across at Rose’s cleavage.
“You’re such a perv, John, you know that? And as for you, Kodi, you live in a dream world girl, an absolute dream world.”
Rose stared in her direction too, not quite making eye contact, but Kodi would not have either had the situation been reversed.
“Well one could conclude that perhaps her poetic interests could have been extended at least as far as Rupert Brooke, now he was an exceptional poet.” Chas stared at Toby for support.
“Rupert Brooke? Are you familiar with even one of his poems?”
Toby stared back at Chas in what seemed to Chas to be a fashion of challenge.
“Not all my passion, all my prayers, have power. To hold them with me through the gate of Death. They’ll play deserter, turn with the traitor breath, break the high bond we made, and sell love’s trust and sacramented covenant to the dust.”
Chas stared back at Toby as equally challenging.
Toby shook his head and said, “See? Rupert had no class. Reading Brookes is like eating spaghetti from a can, but reading Poe? Well that’s like eating home made spaghetti because it has spice, flavour, and someone actually went to the trouble of paying attention to what they were doing so that it wasn’t belched out in machine like fashion.”
Toby waited for Chas to respond but Chas merely waved his arm in Toby’s direction as if to dismiss him.
Chas then said, “Oh yes and who was that other guy she was so obsessed with …the dirty Russian priest… with the beady eyes...she calls him…darn the name escapes me…anyhoo, to your bollocky Russian friend Kodi,” said Chas, in his ever so camp enunciation.
Kodi was almost ready to cry. “Why are you all being so horrible?”
No one said anything, but they instead continued on with their dramatic toasts… “Alexei, Anastasia, Tatiana, Maria, Olga…Mr. & Mrs. Romanov…”
“Mr. and Mrs.? Are you all uneducated fools? Get it right, Tsar and Tsarina,” Marcia interjected.
“It’s a great pity you couldn’t spend more time in the admiration of the living, Kodi. Maybe if you had you might have seen her coming, oh well,” said Faith, raising her glass again in the direction of Kodi.
Kodi had tears streaming down her face and stood there wanting to run from room but being unable to move because she was grounded to the spot in shock at what her friends were doing to her.
“Ah, another toast to Annabel Lee…Tom Hulce…” Chas went to raise his glass but Gary broke in with… “Oh yeah, Amadeus…oh my goodness could that man laugh…”
“It was a movie dear Gary, I’m sure the real Mozart was as depressed as Kodi here, you know except he couldn’t become a part of the Prozac generation instead he…”
“…wrote Requiem Mass…how prophetic don’t you think?” said Chas.
“We should have played that at the funeral, I mean All Things Bright and Beautiful, she’d have far preferred to hear Amadeus by that funny Austrian guy…Falcon?” Faith asked staring at Kodi and then back to the group.
“Falco love, Falco and he wasn’t Austrian, he was GERMAN…”
Gary broke in over Chas, “And he bit the big one too…just like our friend in the cemetery…never saw it coming.”
“Falco’s dead?” Chas seemed surprised, “What no more Gerglish songs, that must have cut you to the core Kodi,” he said laughing at her.
“Yeah on some Moroccan Island…” John said.
“It was the Dominican Republic you daft shit,” said Gary, “Imagine it, sitting in your $150.000 dollar convertible feeling like you own the world and some prick in a tour bus smashes into you, lights out baby…”
“Yeah, thanks for coming and be sure not to come again,” John said.
“Let’s talk Kodi’s pet peeves,” said Chas.
“What the hell is a peeve?” asked Faith.
“British for things she really hated,” said Chas.
“You wanna talk things she hated, well American style driving springs immediately to mind,” said John.
“Again,” Gary nudged Ruby.
“Kodi’s top five pet peeves are as follows, Josef Mengele, Amon Goeth, the death of Steven Biko, poverty and charismatic Christianity,” said Chas with a huge smile.
“Who the hell was Josef Mengelli…elliery…whatever his name was?” asked Ruby.
“Well for those of us who graduated 12th grade, he was Auschwitz’s Angel of Death and…”
“Mengele,” said Chas.
“I graduated College asshole,” said Ruby as she cut straight across John.
“And I just know you’re going to ask who Amon Goeth was too,” said John staring specifically at Ruby, which irritated Chas, “so to save you the trouble of asking I will tell you now. Amon Goeth was the camp Commandant of Plaszow, another charming little holiday camp for those Hitler deemed undesirable.”
“You have no respect for the dead do you?” said Chas.
“He has none for the living so why would he be able to dredge any up for the dead?” said Toby who really did not think too highly of John at all.
Everyone went really quiet for a while and then Faith asked, “Is there anything she just likes, you know calmly likes and isn’t passionate and over the top about?”
“You know Kodi, it’s all or nothing,” said John.
“And that’s exactly what you got from her top gun, a bit fat nothing,” said Chas smiling sarcastically at John.
“Let’s keep it nice folks,” said Toby, not wanting things to progress too much further down the insults line.
They all fell silent for a moment longer and it was Ruby who got everyone back on track.
“Oh and we gotta toast her author friend, the one that lives in Montana.”
Chas stared at Ruby, “He didn’t live in Montana, it was Colorado you foolish girl…no wonder you haven’t got a husband…isn’t that right Kodi, no wonder she can’t hang onto them…you seriously need to rethink your coke intake love.”
“What was his name? I don’t recollect his name,” John said as he scratched his head trying to dredge up the name.
Kodi felt as though someone was blowing air onto her neck and sometimes onto her face, and every now and then, for no reason, her hair wisped up around her face. And then she could smell that scent again, male aftershave, the same one she smelled in the air at the graveside and her heart began to beat faster, but she resisted the urge to descend into panic.
The group fell silent as they tried to remember the name of the author Kodi had admired and built one of the strongest friendships of her life with, and Kodi felt herself becoming angry. Angry they were still indulging in this bizarre ritual of running down everything that the grieved held most dear. Perhaps it was their way of lightening the mood for her, of making her smile, but she didn’t think so. She shifted very uneasily from one foot to the other, and then her leg began to jig.
“Dog, Dirty Dog…”
“You fool, his name wasn’t dog…” said Ruby as she slapped John on the arm.
“No it wasn’t Dog, it was…ah… Vohlk,” said Eddie who walked into the room at the tail end of the conversation, “and she doesn’t just admire him, it’s more than that.”
“Well I’m surprised to hear that,” said Ruby sarcastically, “Kodi you were always one to fall in love with the unattainable…always pining after that which you can never have. But he sure socked it to her in the end though.”
“What do you mean?” asked Marcia.
“Oh he sent her this terrible e-mail, he was just livid with her. I don’t know what she had done, but my goodness was he cutting back at her, really hurt her something terrible.” Ruby stared at Marcia.
“Yet she still went through with…?” said Marcia.
“Was already a done deal, too late,” said Ruby.
“Are you even sure it was him? I know someone thought it was George.”
Ruby looked at Marcia and said, “Never! She’d never touch George with a forty foot barge pole, I’m pretty sure it was Voh.”
“Suppose it doesn’t matter any more now does it?” she said staring at Ruby.
“Guess not,” Ruby replied.
Marcia just nodded her head at Ruby.
“What horrible e-mail? I don’t remember any horrible e-mail,” said Kodi absolutely baffled, but they both ignored her.
“Vohlk, what a strange name…” said Rose.
“Stranger than the Russian fellow, the priest, oh what was that guy’s name?” Chas jigged his foot as though it would somehow help to dredge up the name he was trying to recollect.
Eddie sighed, “You’re thinking of Rasputin, Vohlk is also Russian and it means Wolf.”
“Oh my goodness Kodi, so obsessed with the Russians!” Rose tut tutted.
“Perhaps you’re a closet Commie eh Kodi?” John was laughing, “Setting up the cannon fodder for the big red takeover!”
“Bolsheviks and guns, Mensheviks and words. At the end of the day none of it did Russia any good anyway, they still ended up in a pickle. So much for communism.” Gary laughed, “And Kodi has her own ideas about Russia anyway and I can tell you now, it’s not a country of which she was fond.”
“And how would you know what Kodi does and doesn’t like Gary?” asked John.
“Oh Kodi and I have had many discussions about Russia, and that countries love and concern for her people. Kodi has quite strong opinions on it actually.” Gary smirked at John.
“She got real bent out of shape over the Yalta Pact,” offered Toby.
“Yalta? What the hell was that?”
It was Chas turn to stand there scratching his head.
“Near the end of World War 2, Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin got together and formed this pact at Yalta in the Crimea which they called the Yalta Pact. It covered a whole lot of areas and issues, the partitioning and dismantling of Germany for one.”
Gary could see that John was just waiting to jump in with some smart assed comment to what he’d just said. John hated Kodi and he liked her at the same time. John had been trying to get Kodi to sleep with him on and off for a while. He’d conquered the sister, but Kodi wasn’t having a bar of him because she was wise to him.
John waded in, “Sounds all very exciting, three little boys meeting in their tree house making plans for the cannon fodder,” John was doing his utmost to make a dick out of Gary.
“Don’t butt in John, I want to hear this,” Chas faced Gary again, “Please continue Gary.”
“Yes, thank you Chas. One facet of the Yalta Pact, which is seldom discussed, and certainly never taught in schools, is that all Russian nationals would be repatriated to Russia at the conclusion of the war. They decreed that all Soviet citizens liberated by forces operating under United States command will, without delay after their liberation, be separated from enemy prisoners of war and will be maintained separately from them in concentration camps until they have been handed over to the Soviet authorities...
“But here’s the kicker,” said Toby, “can I tell the kicker or do you want to tell it?” he asked staring at Gary.
“We want Gary to tell it Toby, your stories take far too long,” said Chas.
“May I continue now?” asked Gary.
“Continue away,” said Chas who was also smiling at Toby and John.
“Okay so the kicker. When the Russian people were liberated from the Nazi death camps, it was the British who took them under their wing and cared for them, knowing full well that they had agreed to send them back to Russia. Problem was that the Russians knew that to go back to Russia was a death sentence, and so they fought going back with every fibre of their body. Did you know that in one day the British soldiers went from being protectors of the Russian survivors of the camps to being their killers when the Russians refused to board the trains to be forcibly repatriated back to Russia?”
“How do you know all this, you’re just a painter for goodness sakes?” John was stunned that Gary could be such a wealth of information.
“Kodi told me. And what’s more, most of the Russian people who went through forced-repatriation never lived to tell the tale once they got back home to Stalin because he had them executed or jailed for life as enemies of the State.”
Gary smiled at everyone.
“Hmm, so our Kodi isn’t just the big fluffy dreamer we all thought?” John smiled at Chas.
“I know what your interest in Kodi was, and I know she didn’t share the same interest.”
Chas laughed and Faith laughed at John along with him.

“Man Harry, I was surprised he even heard a word I said let alone remembered any of it, but he stood there and he rattled the whole thing off like I’d just told him.”
Kodi reached down and scratched Harry’s tummy again as he rolled around on the warm concrete.
“So Vohlk wasn’t Russian then?” asked Gary.
“There goes my big red take over theory out the window,” John looked hard at Toby.
Ruby admonished Kodi for what she perceived to be complete and utter nonsense. I mean how could one form a friendship (let alone a love) for someone they’ve never met? Ruby didn’t understand Kodi, she never had and they had only really forged a friendship through her brother Chas, if not for the sake of Chas, Ruby would have had nothing to do with someone like Kodi. But as she had gotten to know Kodi better, she’d found her to be really nice, somewhat reserved and not too eager to share the details of her life, but friendly just the same.
“Vohlk’s not Russian and she never called him Vohlk either, always called him Voh…kind of her pet name for him or something,” Eddie offered, trying to keep his role within the conversation to one of being explanatory.
“I really don’t know what weird shit you had going down with that man Kodi,” said Chas staring hard in Kodi’s direction.
“Perhaps she’s in love with him?”
“Faith, she isn’t in love with him stupid, she loves him, like one loves a…”
“I love him because he’s honest, talented, sincere…I love him the way someone loves…”
Kate who had returned to the room cut off Kodi, “…Like someone loves an older brother…isn’t that right Kodi?” Kate asked sort of staring at Kodi.
“…But deeper,” offered John
“Yes, but it’s even more than that…” But again it was as though Kodi had never even said a word to anyone.
“Oh him already? Yeah of course, I vaguely remember you talking about Voh Kodi, well at least it makes a bit more sense to me now,” Ruby wobbled on her feet slightly as she leaned in Kodi’s direction.
“You so need to low the Blow baby, you’ve got another nose bleed,” said Chas handing Ruby a wad of tissues.
“Bugger.”
Ruby grabbed the tissues and held them to her nose while the rest of them continued to chat and while Kodi stood there listening to them. Ruby suddenly asked rather loudly, “What did you say to me?”
Toby and Eddie looked at Ruby wondering what the heck she was up to and who the hell she was talking to because, as both noted, no one had even spoken to her. But everyone else ignored her. That was just Ruby.
“Oh don’t tell me Kodi love that you had some Wuthering Heights gig going down with that man in Montana…hey didn’t the Horse Whisperer come from Montana?” Chas asked.
Chas loved the Horse Whisperer, it was his favourite movie of all time and Ruby had bought him his very own copy on DVD (anything for her big brother) and he watched it all the time.
“He about drove Ruby mad with it Harry. So much so that in the end she struck a deal with Xaan to hide it and Chas went mad looking for it, but neither of them told him where it was. I kind of felt sorry for him, but I couldn’t have stood watching that movie over and over again either. I mean I liked Robert Redford in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, I saw it at school. But the accident in the Horse Whisperer was what put me off Harry. It reminded me of something that happened to the friend of a family I lived with for a while, and even though I liked horses, it still made me a bit scared of riding.
His name was Clayton Cottle and he had a wife named Suzy, and she got killed when she was riding her horse along the side of the road. I mean it happened way back before I ever lived there, years before, like in the early 1970s, so I never saw the accident or even knew her. But anyway she was riding along the verge when this car went past her quite fast and spooked the horse. The horse reared and she was thrown off and as she fell her head smacked up against a trailer that was being towed by another car that came past her. Suzy was killed instantly and she left behind two kids. Anyway they said Clayton was devastated, and I remember him seeing me riding without a helmet once and he went off at me like a demented man. I didn’t understand why and that was when my foster Uncle explained about Suzy Cottle.
Of course by then Clayton Cottle had a new wife and they’d had two kids together too, so by the time I met Clayton, Suzy was well and truly history, but it still spooked me though. Seeing the accident in the Horse Whisperer always reminded me of Suzy, but I never told Chas or any of them why I really hated that movie.”
"And I know you and Xaan hid that DVD, I know it’s in the house somewhere and one day I’m going to find it and we’re going to have Horse Whisperer Fest for a week,” Chas smiled playfully at Ruby and Xaan.
“Not if you are dead,” said Xaan jokingly, and that comment caused the room to fall silent for a few moments.
“Isn’t it funny Harry how we all tend to say the exact thing we’re avoiding saying or end up looking where we don’t want to look? I mean any other time Xaan saying that would have been fine, but everyone kind of went silently postal when he said that. Kind of reminded me of this guy who came into work for a week or so as a temp when Kalpana was sick. He had lost his top lip to skin cancer and it was really obvious because his mouth looked lop-sided. Anyway, every time he used to talk to me I’d try to look at his eyes and not stare at his lip, which went really well. That was until I realised that I kept rubbing my top lip, and I didn’t even realise that I was doing it until I’d started doing it. I don’t know if he noticed it or not, but I felt terrible.”
It was Eddie who picked up the ball and began playing again in an effort to alleviate the awkward silence they’d all fallen into.
“He was from Colorado you twat,” said Eddie who had been getting pretty annoyed by Chas anyway.
“What?” asked Chas as he was yanked out of his reverie.
“Colorado, Voh was from Colorado,” Eddie repeated.
Eddie had been attempting to keep the conversation nice out of respect for Kodi, but Chas, Ruby and Xaan seemed to be undoing it at every turn. Whether deliberately or accidentally, Eddie wasn’t sure.
“The Horse Whisperer came from Colorado? No Eddie I’m sure it was Montana,” Chas stared hard at Eddie.
“Voh, not the Horse Whisperer, oh my gosh have you ever listened to anyone other than your own inexplicable bleating?” Eddie shook his head.
“Well at least Eddie was sticking up for me Harry; at least I wasn’t in the battle of the conversation of the century on my own.”
“Voh came from Montana? Well that’s what I said in the first place didn’t I?” Chas cast a disapproving look at Eddie.
“No you bloody camp little moron, you said Colorado and you’re right, Voh came from Colorado and the Horse Whisperer may have come from Montana, but who gives a shite, Kodi hates that movie anyway, don’t you Kodi?”
Eddie stared in Kodi’s direction, but she made him wait on her reply, as she didn’t want to stir up a hornet’s nest with Chas, well not today anyway.
“Chas is not pleasant if you lock horns with him over something he’s passionate about, which is mostly why I used to confine my conversations with him to the weather and silly stuff like that,” Kodi said as she stared at Harry rolling around on his back upon the concrete.
“Oh hell, who cares? Whatever, to Cathy and Heathcliff,” said Faith.
“To Cathy and her Heathcliff,” said Gary raising his glass in Kodi’s direction.
“Oh that story, Kodi loves that story, perhaps we should read some of it to her?” suggested Marcia.
“She knows that story like the back of her hand which means we wouldn’t be able to skip pages,” Toby laughed.
“I think she wanted to meet her Heathcliff, and Voh wasn’t him, he was just a good friend. I mean, he would never have gone for someone like Kodi in the real world, she’s too…too…” words escaped Gary.
“Complex?” offered Chas.
“Oh well, to Kodi and Voh anyway,” Faith raised her glass again as she spoke.
Everyone but Eddie joined in on the toast, but Kodi just stared at them, and then she snapped. She walked over to Gary and slapped the wineglass out of his hand.
“You bastard, you call yourself my friend and you stand there making a joke out of the things that I like? Gary the painter, Gary the genius, they call you a wannabe, but you know what, you’re not even that, you’re a ‘never was’!”
Then she turned on them all telling them exactly what she thought of them. Ruby the coke snorting stop head piece of crap who wouldn’t know yesterday from today, and the one whose ass she covered at work time and time again.
Chas, screamingly gay and pathetic, so insecure and always insisting that Kodi go to lunch and listen to every gory detail of his latest conquests. Men having sex with men, “Oh yeah Chas totally appropriate lunch dining topic of conversation you fucked up little freak. Brodie dies of AIDS alone in a hospital in California somewhere and you still just don’t get it you stupid dim witted little fag!”
John the ladies man who dipped it in anything that moved, absolutely anything and then still expected the little woman at home to remain the faithful little lap-dog he’d turned her into. “And then you have the audacity to turn up on MY doorstep at three in the morning seeking a pity lay when Tiffany left you, you diabolical wanker.”
By the time she was finished they were all standing there absolutely stunned and shocked, but mission accomplished because she’d managed to alienate every single one of them with the crap she’d held onto against them for years.
“Oh yeah, everyone having a good time now? Good cause the show isn’t over yet! Where’s your funny little prankster now, huh? Let me tell you all something, SHE NEVER EXISTED! I became what YOU wanted me to be because I KNEW it was NEVER okay for me to be who I really am. Your actions and your words on this day of all days shows me that now more clearly than ever!”
“I really lost the plot Harry, and I don’t really even know why I did that because the truth is that they didn’t really say anything that bad. Maybe I was just wound up already, I mean it’s not every day that you bury your only sister, right?” she asked staring at Harry who just lay there staring back at her.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” yelled Chas staring straight at her.
“You camp little shit, how dare you make light of the things that mean the most to me on this day? I JUST PUT MY SISTER IN THE GROUND…and YOU; YOU ALL CALL ME FRIEND? SCREW THE LOT OF YOU!”
Kodi cringed as she sat on the porch near Harry remembering the last thing she’d said to Chas before she left.
That was when the panic attacks had started, right there, right then, suddenly she couldn’t breathe, and she had cried out to the dark haired stranger standing behind Chas, but he had just stood there staring at her. Then her heart had beat so fast, and her head went light, the room warped and she passed out on the floor.
"Well that was bloody wicked!” said Chas.
“I’ve never seen anything like that, wine glasses just flying out of people’s hands…” John was cut off by Gary.
“I think I felt something hit my hand, but I can’t be sure, I mean I’ve had a bit to drink and um….”
“This shit is too freaky for me, I’m so out of here and I’m never coming back here again. You coming Marcia? As far as I’m concerned Kodi Madison, you’re dead to me and you can stay that way.”
Faith turned from the group and walked out of the room to exit the house followed by the majority of the group who had been in the kitchen when all the strangeness had occurred.
“You coming Rube?” asked Chas staring at his baby sister.
“No I’m going to stay here for a while, I just need some time to think Chas, maybe some time to come down, you know?”
“You going to be okay? Because I can stay if you like, Xaan doesn’t mind going ahead without me. He could come by and pick us up later if you want.”
“No Chas, you go ahead, I’ll cab it home when I’m ready.”
Chas leaned forward and kissed his sister on the cheek and left the house to go home too, the more distance he put between himself and the bizarre carrying on the better as far as he was concerned.

As Xaan and Chas drove home, Chas said, “What was it like for you and Damien growing up?”
“Why do you ask?” Xaan took the corner a little too sharply throwing Chas against the door.
Chas rearranged himself in the seat so that he was comfortable and said, “Just you and Damien seem really close you know?”
“Well so are you and Ruby though aren’t you?” asked Xaan as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.
“Sort of, but there’s things she doesn’t tell me Xaan, things she thinks I don’t know.”
“Well Damien is the same with me. He thinks because I’m younger that I don’t know what our father got up to when we were kids, but I know what he did.”
“What do you mean?” asked Chas intrigued.
Xaan thought carefully as he proceeded to tell Chas his most deeply held secret, “Do you remember years ago that whack job guy who raped and murdered those little girls?”
“There’s been heaps of whack jobs, Xaan, one doesn’t stand out too much from the other, but I do remember Manson,” said Chas nodding his head.
“No not Manson, Coleman, Charles Coleson, remember? You know there were heaps of girls that disappeared and then when they finally caught him they realised the killings and rapes had stopped for the three years he disappeared overseas?”
“Oh yeah, sort of, didn’t he take off to some small south Pacific Island or something, maybe Australia?”
“Australia’s not small, no I can’t remember what country it was, but when he came back to the US the killings started again. Of course they didn’t put any of it together until they caught him.”
“Hindsight’s such a valuable thing,” said Chas laughingly.
“My father was on that case, did you know that?”
“Well, no Xaan, our fathers are not something we discuss too often, especially mine,” said Chas awkwardly.
“Oh yeah, the good Reverend,” said Xaan.
“Leave it out already, I still feel like his shadow’s over me, even now.”
“Anyway, Coleson Colman, whatever, never made it to trial, do you remember that? Remember why?”
“Well it’s kind of vague, I was what six maybe seven, but anyway what’s that got to do with your old man?”
“He arranged for the hit to be able to take place for Antonio Papadopolis and Carlos. On the court steps, remember? And there was that kid that was sitting on the fence behind them and he got totally freaked out, he was all over the news, don’t you remember that?”
“Not really, I remember Manson though, I remember those girls with the marks they cut into their foreheads, that was wild.”
“Manson had nothing on this guy Coleman, yeah it was Coleman, anyway, Damien thinks I don’t what the old man did for Antonio, but I do.”
“Your old man arranged a hit for the Papadopolis brothers?” Chas stared incredulously at his boyfriend.
“Not for the brothers, they were just kids, no their old man and Coleman’s last victim’s father Carlos someone, I forget his last name. Anyway he made it so the hit could go down, I mean no one ever proved it, but they suspected as much. Damien knows he did it, and he doesn’t know I know.”
“So this is your long winded way of telling me what exactly?”
“That Damien and I are as not as close as you seem to think we are so don’t sweat the small stuff with Rubes because it’s normal.”
“There’s nothing normal about me and Ruby Xaan, I know you might think we’re normal, but we’re not. We have seen each other through a lot of grief, but we both have our secrets that we keep from each other.”
Chas sat there thinking about their mother and what had happened all those years ago. She had disappeared, just like that, supposedly without a trace, but he knew why she’d left and he knew what she’d done and he’d spent all his life protecting his little sister from the truth. “Perhaps that’s what she’s trying to do to me now, protect me from the truth? Her coke habit is heavy and she’s sick, she’s seeing people who aren’t even there, I have seen her talking to them.”
“You okay Chas?” asked Xaan staring over at Chas while he waited for the light to turn green.
“I’m fine Xaan, just fine.”
“Don’t expect to feel normal with everything that has gone down in the last week or so Chas, it’s perfectly acceptable to feel out of sorts. And it’ll get worse before it gets better, it always does.”
“Oh it’ll get worse alright, I know that, and one other thing I know for sure is that she had something to do with it. I don’t know how she did, just that she did and one way or another the truth will come out.”
“Do you want to go to the hospital on the way home, you know, go see her tell her how it went today?” asked Xaan softly.
“No, I’ll go tomorrow maybe, but for now I just want to go home.”
Chas stared out of the car window as the tears rolled down his cheeks while Xaan gently held his hand.
“I know how sick of hospitals you must be Chas, what with what you went through as a kid and Ruby,” he trailed off.
“Did you know I identified my father’s body too?”
“No, you never told me that,” said Xaan.
“Yeah, in that very same hospital and boy was he a mess, no more than he deserved mind you.”
“What do you mean?” asked Xaan not entirely sure he should even be asking.
“He’d been mutilated, shot in the…and then he took two bullets to the stomach and whoever did it left him for a few hours and then went back and plugged him in the back of the head.”
“Shit, that’s terrible Chas,” said Xaan horrified.
“Not as horrible as what he did to Rube’s though Xaan, not even close.”

Ruby stood by the bench for a moment and then she simply said, “I know you’re here, I saw you.”
Troy was standing by the window staring out at the city lights but did not answer Ruby because he really didn’t believe she could see him.
“Well who are you?”
When Ruby realised the man was going to remain silent she did wonder whether he had in fact left after all, “Oh well, only one way to find out for sure,” she thought to herself. “Great, I’ll just do another line shall I, then I’m sure I’ll be able to see you just fine.”
“No don’t do that Ruby,” Troy said as he turned from the view out of the window to stare at her.
But Ruby didn’t hear him and assumed he was either still ignoring her or really gone after all, so she arranged the white powder in a neat tidy little row on the bench. Then she reached into her bag and got out the sleek little silver pipe she carried around with her for occasions such as these.
Troy was curious as to how she was going to doing what she was about to do, and so walked over to the bench to watch her, knowing it was pointless attempting to interfere, and he saw Ruby snort the white powder up her left nostril.
“Proof’s in the pudding,” she said out loud making Troy wonder what on earth she was talking about. For a few moments after that she was quiet and never moved a muscle or made a sound, but within two or three minutes she could see Troy clearly, “Ah there you are. It’s funny but I’ve heard all the stories about how junkies have seen people like you when they’re chalked up, I always thought it was just some urban myth, but now I’m seeing it for myself for the third time today.”
“You’ve only seen me once, this is the second time.”
“No, I saw you at the graveyard, I saw you blowing into your hands to warm up, and I heard you speak.”
“No way you heard me speak,” said Troy a little unnerved that the girl was talking to him at all.
“One less conquering worm, does that ring a bell? I’ve spoken to one of your other friends too, don’t know his name though because he refused to speak back, but I knew he was there.”
Troy was puzzled; perhaps this was what his brother had meant when he said to look out for the weird ones? But was she seeing him because her time was close at hand or because she was sniffing the white powder?
“It should be him dealing with all of this, not me, but no, here I am yet again. I have no idea where all of this is going to go to and why was Saul so insistent that I deal with this woman? What was wrong with him doing it? I hate weirdness, I have always hated weirdness.”
“Who are you, like you know what’s your name?” Ruby asked staring straight at him.
Troy wondered for a moment whether he shouldn’t in fact just walk out of the door and leave her to her own devices, but he decided against it and tentatively took another step toward her.
“My name is Troy,” he said as he stared at the white residue just inside her nose and noticing her pupils were now dilated and fixed as they were before. He wasn’t sure he should be speaking to her either, but he didn’t know what else to do so he just went with it.
“Can you see Kodi?” she asked him.
“Yes I can see Kodi,” he said truthfully.
“Does she see you?”
“She’s seen me several times, but she does not realise she’s seen me.”
“Why? Oh I know, don’t tell me, she’s not doing enough illicit drugs, hell she’s never done any drugs, none that I know of. Little Miss Goody Two Shoes, that’s our Kodi Madison. You know she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, and she’s smart, she’s just so smart Troy. I mean did you hear all the stuff she taught Gary? And she must have told it in a real interesting way because Gary hardly remembers anything anyone says to him.”
Ruby paused for a second and then she continued, “I don’t find this situation weird you know, I really don’t and I’m not afraid of you. But it is such a pity that Ruby couldn’t be more like Kodi, isn’t it Troy?”
Ruby laughed bitterly and then wobbled around unsteady on her feet. Troy feared she may fall and so stepped in closer to her just in case.
“Kodi has made her fair share of mistakes Ruby, you know that. And as for her not really seeing me, I don’t know, perhaps she’s not ready to see me? Anyway Ruby, it’s about you I should like to converse now, why do you do it Ruby? Why do you sniff that powder?”
“Oh gee Troy, Troy is your name right?”
“Yes it is Troy.”
“And I’m not imagining you am I? Of course I’m not, although I could be but I doubt it because my hallucinations generally do not include good looking men who speak nicely to me.”
Troy smiled, “No Ruby, I am as real as you are.”
“Well, let me see, why do I do it? It could be that my mother abandoned my brother and I when we were very small. It could also be because my daddy raped me when I was just ten and then regularly from then on until I was twelve, it could be because someone killed him and I felt guilty for feeling glad he was gone. Maybe I need something to get me through the days, or it simply could be that I do it just because I choose to.”
Ruby giggled at her obscene joke about her father, and then she immediately began to cry. Any other person would have assumed that Ruby was in fact completely mad.
Troy felt uneasy seeing her cry that way and asked, “Your father hurt you in that way Ruby?”
“Well angel boy, you were there so you tell me,” said Ruby sarcastically.
“I am not an angel Ruby, I’m a helper and I wasn’t there when that happened to you. I have only seen you today for the first time.”
“So who was there when my father did what he did Troy, who was there? Did you know he nearly killed me that night? Did you know that two years prior he almost killed Chas?”
“No I don’t know much about you at all Ruby, and it may well have been another helper who was there that night.”
Troy stood there puzzling over who it could have been, Taite, Saul, Ed, Jimmy, Kaleb, Johnny, Cassey, Joan, Kendall or maybe even Kaleb’s father Zachary…or any of the other thousands of his kind, maybe even his own brother?
“No, not Cassey or Joan, she thought it was me so it had to be a male, probably Heathcliff if he looked anything like me, although Kaleb has dark hair too…who knows?” he thought to himself.
“Another helper? But he looked like you. Hmmm, well I now know that I have seen at least three of you, so how many helpers are there? Oh man you probably ARE a figment of my imagination, which I might add is really pulling some stunts on me right now.” Ruby rubbed her forehead with her hand.
“There’s many helpers Ruby, and you can think of me as a figment of your imagination or whatever else you may wish to think of me as, but whatever I am is not important. What is important is you Ruby.”
“Me, important, that’s a laugh!”
Ruby began to cry fresh tears, and Troy embraced her, “Ruby you are very special, you don’t need to do this to your body, and truthfully Ruby, you could be seeing me because your time may very well not be too much longer.”
“I’m going to die?”
“Everyone dies Ruby, but you need not die so soon, if you stop now you may actually have a chance.”
“A chance to do what Troy? Everything I ever touched in this world has turned to shit; every relationship I have had has gone down the toilet. To be honest with you Troy, I don’t even want to be here anymore anyway and I can’t wait for my crap existence in this shit hole of a place to be over.”
“You don’t mean that Ruby, what about your brother?”
“Chas? His life would probably be easier if he didn’t have me to worry about. Troy every day stretches out before me like a huge deep dark painful abyss that I have to somehow find my way across, and do you know what’s at the end of each abyss when I get there?
“What?” asked Troy.
Ruby threw her hands up in despair and said, “Another day, another abyss to fight my way blindly across, and I’m tired of it, I’m really tired of it. In fact, I’ve been tired of it since I was about eighteen and so many times I’ve just wished it was over.”
“Ruby, you think Chas views you as a burden? I doubt that Ruby, I doubt that very much.”
“Well what else is he supposed to make of his junkie sister? I mean what did he do that was so shitty that he had to get lumbered with me?”
“Ruby, you have as much gusto for life as my friend on the floor over there, can you see her?”
Ruby looked over toward the other side of the kitchen and she could see Kodi lying on the floor, “It’s not fair Troy, I mean…” Ruby burst into a fresh flood of tears and her nose began to bleed. Troy grabbed some tissues out of the box and held them gently to her nose and said, “Ruby please try to stop.”
“I can’t Troy, I can’t, I need it like you need air.”
“Ruby a beautiful life awaits you after life, but this life is preparation for the next, how will you know how to grab hold of and enjoy the next life if you don’t at least try in this one, well precious Ruby?”
“Precious Ruby, that’s a laugh,” she said through her tears.
“Why Ruby, such cynicism! Rubies are one of the finest gems to be found in this world, and you are a very precious gem Ruby.”
“If I’m such a precious gem then why did my father do what he did to me Troy, how can someone do that? He was a Christian, a charismatic church leader. People looked up to him and they had no idea what he was doing behind their backs. I used to get so sick of being told how lucky I was to have him for a father, they all thought he was wonderful, they almost worshipped him. Christians, especially leaders are supposed to love God and be honest with everyone, aren’t they?”
“What one confesses with their lips can only be proved by their actions Ruby, and sometimes words and actions contradict each other. I’m sure if he truly understood what his actions were going to do to you Ruby he wouldn’t have done it. His being a Christian or not has very little to do with anything at all, just makes him look worse than someone else who makes the exact same mistakes.”
“So that makes it okay?”
“No Ruby what he did was sinful, despicable. Anything that hurts someone in the way he hurt you is pure evil, and he hasn’t gotten away with it, but you are making yourself a prisoner of his sin. It’s not your place to be imprisoned Ruby, but only you can set yourself free.”
“But why does God let this stuff happen, this shitty fucking crap, I don’t understand him and it’s not fair.”
“Oh Ruby,” Troy spoke very gently to the distressed girl, “God didn’t allow this to happen, God would never allow such things to happen, but he cannot control what people choose to do. And you are right, it’s not fair.”
“But HE COULD HAVE STOPPED IT,” Ruby screamed at Troy as she broke free from his embrace and turned her back on him.
“Ruby, God created a perfect world for people he created as perfect, but he said he’d never interfere with freewill, and although he desired bad things not to happen, the fact is that they do. People, bad people, choose to ignore what is right and opt to do what is evil, and innocent people get hurt, Ruby. People like you, and this funeral today for that poor girl is another classic example.”
“I don’t know if I believe you or not, I mean are you paid to say this stuff or is this truly for real?” Ruby thought.
Ruby turned back around to face Troy and asked, “Why do people choose to be this way if they were created to be perfect?” Ruby fiddled with a piece of fluff on Troy’s jersey.
“Well, Ruby, there have been many people in this world since the original few and there have been so many copies of copies of copies. What we see walking around in this world today barely even has any resemblance to what man was originally intended to be.”
“Is that our fault, I mean is it my fault?”
“No Ruby, it’s no more your fault than it is Kodi’s, but you can still make a choice to try and be a healthier copy.”
“What will happen to her Troy, where will she go?”
“Somewhere beautiful is where she will go to, Ruby, and I can tell you that one day you will be going to the same place.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you are a good person, Ruby, God sees your heart and so if you want to, you can keep sniffing that powder until it kills you, and it will kill you, Ruby. God will love you just the same as he already does, but wouldn’t it be nice to see this world and experience some of the things in it with a clear head?”
“I experienced this world with a clear head for sixteen years and I have to say that I like the view better from here than I ever liked it from there. I have tried to stop, but it’s hard…” Ruby began to cry again.
Troy embraced her again and told her, “Ruby, you are a beautiful, beautiful girl and you have so much more to do here yet, so how about at least trying again, just one more time?”
“I won’t be able to see you again will I, I mean if I stop?”
“No, but one day when the time is right, Ruby, you WILL see me again, please trust me on that, you WILL see me again. One day you will sit in the sun on a porch swing with your children playing at your feet, and you will look back on this day and laugh. That I can promise you without a doubt.”
“Children? Troy, I will never have babies; I will never be blessed with children, which is probably just as well anyway. No kid needs a junkie for a mother, we just die young having achieved nothing, our potential flushed down the proverbial loo, as Kodi would say.”
“You will have babies, Ruby. You will have many babies one day, and maybe we’ll even spring you a husband to go with those babies.”
“Oh Sir, you are too kind,” said Ruby laughing and disbelieving.
“I speak only the truth,” Troy smiled, then gently and tenderly kissed Ruby’s head. He knew who she was to be, and he fell in love with Ruby there and then. But there was no time for that; he had more pressing matters to attend to.
Ruby stood there wondering who the hell would ever be stupid enough to ever entrust their child to someone like her?
“Will you stay with me at least until I can no longer see you?”
“Absolutely if that is what you would like, Ruby. I will stay with you and Kodi.”
“I think ‘she’ had something to do with it you know. I just know she was behind it somehow, they never got along, did you know that?” Ruby looked deeply into Troy’s eyes.
“How do you know this?”
“A phone call, a suspicion, anyway, I just do. So do you helpers always watch over us?”
“Only when the need arises for one of us to be there.”
“So how do you know who you are supposed to be with?”
“Well we get told mostly by others and sometimes things get changed. For example, my brother watched over Kodi for many years, but then for reasons I can’t go into, someone else got sent, and then I got sent to be with her, to watch over her for now.”
“Who watched over her evil twin?”
“My brother watched over her too, but now he watches neither. He’s got a new facet that’s about to enter his life, so that’ll keep him pretty busy now anyway.’
“What’s he going to be doing?”
“Oh he’s got places to go and people to see. You getting tired yet, Ruby?”
“Yeah Troy, I’m getting tired.”
Ruby yawned and Troy knew that once she slept she would probably forget most of what he’d told her.
“So, Troy, do you know what happened to my mother, I mean can you find out?”
“No, Ruby, I don’t know what happened to her and I don’t know if there’s any way I can find out.”
“Can’t you ask your brother?”
“I could ask my brother, but your helper in younger years could have been anyone, and even if he does know anything, and there’s a huge chance he probably doesn’t, I wouldn’t be allowed to tell you what had happened to her or where she is now anyway.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just the way it is, Ruby. There’s some things we just never know and some things we aren’t supposed to know.”
“Why?”
“So full of questions, Ruby. I don’t know, I suppose there are answers that just aren’t of any use to us, maybe they’d just hurt us even more if we knew, and some people, people like you, well they’ve been hurt enough.”
“But sometimes it helps you to forget and get over it to know, you know, it brings closure?”
“Sometimes knowing can add to the pool of already full to over flowing bad memories. Maybe the not knowing brings us more solace than knowing for sure? I don’t know, but one thing I know for sure is that God knows what is best for us, and some questions remain eternally unanswered for a very good reason.”
Troy held Ruby and spoke gently to her for the next few hours until she was no longer able to see him. Not much of what he’d said to Ruby really made much sense to her, but some how she knew (if she could get her act together) that things would eventually come right, even if she tried and failed, they would still come right. That was hope enough for Ruby to think about giving it a damn good try.

When Kodi had awoken, later on that same day, the house had been empty, they’d cleaned up the mess, but they’d left her where she’d fallen. Perhaps they’d thought she was drunk, or maybe they thought she’d done a line with Ruby and needed simply to sleep it off?
“But they’d have known better than that Harry, they know I’d never do drugs. So why did they just leave me there like that?”
And then the dreams had started, oh the dreams. Maybe it was shock of everything that had happened that had started them off?
“The first dream was pretty weird Harry. I dreamed that someone smashed the window during the night and that I stood on the glass and cut my feet and my hands. I left a blood trail everywhere and Marli called an ambulance, but the police showed up instead. They put me in their car and drove me down town to the station, and on the way they kept telling me not to worry because they’d find whoever had done this thing to me. Once I got there my friend Kate was there and she’d been given a baby from someone and she was showing the policemen the photos of this baby that wasn’t even hers. I knew it wasn’t hers but I was too scared to say anything. Then the policemen drove me to Dale’s house and she had a couple of friends over and they were singing Journey songs together while Dale strummed the guitar. Then Dale for some reason, stood up, doused herself in petrol and set herself alight. She stood in the middle of the floor with her blue dress on fire, and she was laughing; everyone was laughing. I was really upset that my friend was hurting herself like that. I woke up sweating and crying and scared because I couldn’t do anything to help her, and her blond hair was all burning away too. I hate dreams like that because you wake up and to start with, you’re too scared to even move. The dreams just got worse from there and have graduated to where we are now, lucky me eh Harry? But the weirdest bit of that dream Harry is that I have never known anyone by the name of Dale. But the cemetery that day Harry, that was really spooky.”
She’d gone down to the cemetery to put some flowers on the grave of her sister, and as she approached the plot she could see that vandals had been at it already. The headstone had shattered into pieces on the freshly turned earth and the hole had been dug down at least four feet again, “Who would want to do this?”
She’d asked herself that time and time again as she stood there; maybe Marli had a Heathcliff in her past that she’d never told anyone about? “Why do my thoughts always return to that tragic tale? And that’s all that story was Marli, a tragic tale written by a young girl who had never even experienced much. Not life or love.”
There had been a spate of acts of vandalism on Jewish graves in the cemetery, and Kodi half wondered whether they had mistaken Marli’s grave as a Jewish one? “But Madison doesn’t exactly sound Jewish does it, Harry? And like that’s a reasonable excuse for doing that anyway. White Supremacists, I hate them, skinheads, pierced to the hilt, tattooed, swastika-toting stop head pieces of shit! Man if they actually truly understood what the Nazi’s did, they’d never be seen dead wearing an emblem like that. Seven million Jews, some say ten million, even if the truth was somewhere in the middle, the number is still appalling. Isn’t that weird Harry, one Jew killed because of being a Jew is too many? I used to have dreams about the Holocaust Harry, really wicked dreams, but I always woke up before anything bad happened to me. I wonder why that is? Why do we never actually dream we have died and gone to heaven or wherever people believe we go? I mean that’d be quite weird in a way wouldn’t it, dreaming of heaven, but maybe we’re not supposed to dream of heaven so that’s why we don’t? But there must be some people who dream of heaven though don’t you think? Look at me, I’m talking to a cat!
Swastikas as freedom of expression? No that’s no artistic expression that’s legalized racism, worse its legalized support of genocide. Yes I know what Marli’d say, I’m on a bender again, well I can go on a bender if I like, eh Harry?”
Kodi had stood there at the graveside silently for a few more minutes not knowing whether to laugh or cry at the desperate stupidity of who ever had desecrated the headstone on the grave of her sister. Kodi decided to continue with her one last chat to her sister, even though she knew it to be wrong, talking to the dead was a deadly sin. Kodi thought to herself, “Maybe it’s only a sin if you try to get them to speak back?”
“You know, if you employ the use of a medium like in Ghost or something? I bet that’d make you turn in your grave, Whoopi Goldberg turning up?”
Kodi remembered the church she had gone to for four years and their radical take on all things. It had only been once Kodi reached adulthood that she had realised just how indoctrinated in teachings she’d been. They had taught her to feel shame about things that weren’t shameful, and to be wary of that which did not necessitate suspicion. Belonging had been only afforded to those who had shut up, put up and towed the line. Kodi had taken a while to learn to tow their line because even at a fundamental level, everything they taught her caused her to feel ill at ease. Kodi wondered why something that was supposed to be so loving, and that was supposed to set one free, had in fact caused her to feel so unloved and trapped?
And as for belonging, Kodi had never felt like she had belonged anywhere, always ever the outsider, the one who was different. Even as she went under their baptismal waters, she had felt clean and new for only a few hours and then she had returned to the grind that life and relationships seemed to dispose her to, and she could never understand why.
Every time she’d walked into that church as a child she had felt more like John the Baptist appearing in public before the Pharisees. Yes, John the Baptist with skins on his back and hair on his face appearing quite crazed because he’d been living in the wilderness for so long surviving on honey and locusts. Yes the people in the church tripped out when they saw her as much as the Pharisees had tripped out when they lay eyes on John.
“I think it was locusts and wild honey Harry, or perhaps it was just wild locusts? But locusts are wild anyway, so maybe it was wild…oh who cares? You know Harry, I have not seen or heard one locust since we’ve been here, and admittedly we’ve not been here long, but still it seems odd, what do you think?”
Harry rolled about on the warm concrete a little more enjoying the sound of her voice even though he didn’t understand a word she’d said.
At the graveside she spoke to her sister honestly and openly for the very first time. “Difference, Marli, the world can’t handle different. I mean the rallying cry is be who you are, don’t follow the crowd, yet the second you think outside their square they jump on you from a great height. Hell in the end they cut off John’s head too, there’s no winning is there?”
She crouched down and arranged the flowers on the fresh dug dirt and noticed that the birds were quite courageous, in that they hopped right beside her in their pursuit of food. Then her thoughts drifted away from Pentecostal with Fire and Signs Following churches and turned back to the Heathcliff possibility.
“But why would anyone actually dig it up? Would anyone be insane enough to do something like that, I mean even Emily Bronte’s Heathcliff, do you really think he would have dug up Cathy just to hold her one last time? Imagine that though Marli? She’d have been pretty decomposed by then, and well, he must have been half-crazy, actually he was I think. I never told you this Marli, but I always thought that one day I’d meet a Heathcliff, you know not a man actually named Heathcliff, but someone who’d love me like he loved Cathy? Imagine having someone who loved you that much? I don’t think anyone even really knows how to love like that in this world any more and even if I did find someone like that, I probably wouldn’t even know what to do with him. Anyway, the world’s too busy, too messed up and everything is way too disposable for love like Heathcliff had for Cathy, yeah everything’s disposable, including people.”
“Oh Harry, how did I get so cynical?”
Kodi stayed crouched there at the graveside for some time just pondering her favourite story, Wuthering Heights. Edgar, Isabel, Cathy, Heathcliff, and Heathcliff’s son, “Oh what was his name? I can’t remember, maybe I’m going to lose all my memories?”
“I still can’t remember his name, Harry, not for the life of me, and no matter how much I obsess about it, I still can’t dredge it up. I’m going to read Wuthering Heights again anyway.”
She crouched there trying very hard to remember the name of Heathcliff’s son, but she just couldn’t bring the name to mind. Kodi stood to her feet again, looked around to see if anyone was nearby and seeing that the coast was clear, she began to speak to Marli again.
“Emily Bronte never once knew that sense of oneness as her man lay on top of her, or the passion induced fire when his tongue wrapped around hers. Why she’d never even once known the thrill of wrapping her legs tightly around her naked lover, the sensation of his skin against her thighs, feeling him taking her, consuming her. Can you imagine never having known that Marli? She never felt that deep sense of protection when he held her in his arms as she was sleeping either.”
As she stood there she could imagine what Marli’s response would have been had she been able to make one.
“Kodi get your head out of the clouds, all your dreamy ideas about love making, for crying out loud. Sex is sex, Kodi; it’s not about love, gentleness, protection or deep meaning or any of the other crap you imagine it’s about. Sex is just animalistic, an animalistic pastime that feels really great, but really there’s nothing else to it. You don’t make some deep and meaningful connection with a guy just because he gets his rocks off with you, you’re just, well, a means to an end for the guy, and he’s a means to an end for you too. You have got to stop reading so much into something that is essentially shallow.”
“She didn’t believe in love, Harry, I don’t know what she did believe in, but it wasn’t love.”
Marli didn’t get it and Kodi knew it. Sex to Marli was a way to gain control over a man, because according to Marli, men’s lives were ruled by their penis. “God gave men both a brain and a penis but only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Marli used to laugh when she said that and Kodi used to cringe, and some of the things that Marli told Kodi she’d done just to get her own way with them were crass, even disgusting.
“I prefer to believe that sex is about intimacy and making a connection with the guy.”
Marli had laughed at Kodi’s romanticism and at her assertion that Emily Bronte didn’t know what she was talking about. Even though Marli didn’t know the first thing about Wuthering Heights, she did know that Kodi was naïve when it came to men, and any woman Kodi read probably was too.
The truth of the matter was that, when you got down to brass tacks, Kodi had no more experienced those things than had Emily Bronte. All of Kodi’s relationships with males had been unmitigated disasters that had involved her desperate need to be loved, protected and accepted, and the male’s desperate need to control, bully and trample. Love had never been something Kodi had ever known either, but like Emily, she always dreamed, was ever hopeful that one day, one day it would happen.
So maybe that was why Kodi’s thoughts drifted to some character named Heathcliff, to tragedy, to something that had never even existed?
“Stupid Emily Bronte!” she said out loud. Then she turned and walked slowly away from the cemetery vowing never to return.

Marli had never really liked her twin Kodi.
They were identical to look at, but that’s where the similarities had ended. Their mother had not wanted twins, and when she first looked at her baby girls, she felt a deep love for the first whom she named Marli. As for the other girl, whom a nurse named Kodi, she took an instant dislike.
It was probably all very chance and circumstance in that it may just have easily been Kodi upon whom she gazed first, but bad luck is as random as good, and it was Kodi she opted to hate. The girl’s father, well stepfather, had been no better, following suit with the mother. He was a drinker, a gambler and a womaniser, but he provided for her and her children, and so long as he kept doing that she’d let him stay.
Their own father, Jake, had not stayed around to lay claim to his baby daughters; he’d wanted a different life. Children had never been a part of the original plan for his life, as far as he was concerned, and he’d been very honest about it. He was a writer and a wishful thinker who always strove after the impossible, and when she’d turned up pregnant, well one baby had been a thought he could contemplate. But once he’d found out there were two babies, he saw his life and his dreams flash before his eyes and then disappear, so he’d run for all he was worth before they could. No one ever knew what became of him once he left, he just fell off the face of the earth, or was absorbed forever somewhere into the four winds.
The girl’s mother had always believed that if there had just been only one baby, then he would have stayed and life would have been perfect, the second baby had ruined everything, at least, that was how it had appeared.
By the time Kodi had reached the age of four, it had become apparent to everyone concerned that it would be more beneficial for Kodi to be removed from her mother and sister. Splitting up twins, particularly identical twins, was not something anyone entertained lightly, but they believed it to be necessary for the girl’s survival. And the differences between the girls by then, despite the fact that they were identical, were flooring. One appeared healthy; rosy faced, clean and beautifully clothed. She had the most impeccable manners and she was absolutely adorable.
The other was sickly and small, swore like a trooper, had absolutely no manners whatsoever, and it was apparent that she’d really not been cared for too well at all. When they were out on the street, if the smaller one were to approach an adult, or if the adult even perceived there was a chance they could be approached by her, they crossed the street. If they weren’t fast enough to cross the street, and then they merely ignored the snot nosed little brat.
The smaller of the girls was particularly unaware that there were striking differences between them. The smaller one merely looked at the other twin and assumed that when they looked at her that they saw the same as what she saw when she stared at her twin. But even by the age of four, Marli Madison knew there were differences, huge differences in fact. Marli had already gotten it into her head that Kodi was someone to be despised, and despise her she did. Marli was the good twin and Kodi was the evil twin, and why anyone ever felt the need to equate identical twins as being opposites in nature, one good and one evil is as mysterious as it is bizarre. But for some reason it happens sometimes, that people make the distinction between two people who look exactly the same, and maybe every once in a while they are correct?
“But the basis of the idea is as shoddy as saying God and the Devil must look identical because their natures are complete opposites. Humans, humans, humans. Such a sad and sorry lot sometimes,” he said time and time again as he watched over the two girls.
This was one of his first cases; first solo flights, as they called them where he came from.
“Why twins?” he had asked the day he had been told that they were to be born by the end of that day.
“Why not?” the older man had said to him.
“Don’t you think one is enough for me? How am I to watch two at once?”
“One will need more of your time than the other,” he had said.
“Which one?” he had asked wondering why on earth one would need more than the other out of a set of identical twins.
“Well it’s up to you to work that out, but you are about to get a very deep insight to the human condition and human behaviour. It won’t always be easy, it never is, but you are the right helper for them.” The older man had just smiled at him and sent him on his way.
He knew everything he needed to know about the girls and he had been with them since the day they emerged from their mother’s womb slimy and screaming blue murder, the pair of them.
It was possible that, with Kodi looking terribly unkempt and judging by some of her behaviour that, she was definitely the ‘evil twin’. She had a proclivity for stealing from the local dairy and had in fact become quite adept at sneaking under the buzzer and helping herself to a loaf of bread.
He remembered the first time he’d seen her attempting the crime, “What are you doing little one?” he asked, as he leaned against the shop wall looking down at her totally perplexed. She’d looked around her momentarily as though she had heard something, but he knew there was no way she could have.
Once she got the bread she’d sneak back under the buzzer, which necessitated her crawling across the ground on her belly (she could have merely stepped over it, she was certainly tall enough to achieve that little fete, but she didn’t think of that at age four).
“I don’t believe this, you’re stealing? You know better than that!”
Once she was outside the shop on her belly, she’d jump to her feet and she’d run for all she was worth to the park where she’d shared her ill gotten gains with the ducks.
Stolen bread? Kodi knew it was wrong to steal, but she was hungry, and the bread was there, and to her mind they had stacks of the stuff, so they were hardly going to miss one loaf. Besides, someone needed to feed the ducks!
“That is NOT good behaviour, little one,” he’d said, as he sat beside her watching her throw most of the bread to the ducks anyway. “Don’t you know that, as partial as these ducks are to bread, their Maker, yours too, has provided all that they need to sustain life? They do not NEED bread, my little one.” But his words were wasted on her; he knew that.
Marli was adept at stealing from the local dairy too, but the one thing she was most adept at was not getting caught! Kodi, on the other hand, nearly had her ear ripped off several times through getting caught, but the one thing that mystified the dairy owner was that the girl only ever took bread, and she had to sneak around behind the counter to get that. Why didn’t the child just take chippies or lollies, drinks even? No, it was always bread, and it got to the point where they stopped trying to catch her, and instead they slyly watched her from the back room as she crawled in for her loaf of bread and then crawled out again. It caused them much amusement.
“It might be amusing to you while it is just bread that she is stealing, but what will it be in ten years time? Cars and diamond necklaces? God forbid,” he’d said, disgusted that they’d allow the child to get away with such bad behaviour. “You’re not doing her ANY favours.”
Kodi had a lot of time on her hands and so she used to spend much time playing in the local streets too. Every now and then some passer by would stop and offer her a ride to wherever it was she was headed. Truth of the matter was that the child was never headed anywhere, but she found it exciting to get into cars and go for rides with strangers.
He always got into the car with her, he had no choice because that was his job and he’d seen much of the small city she lived in from the back seat of many cars. He observed her being handed lollies and sometimes even money, and he’d often thought to himself, “Do these adults not realise they are making a very dangerous pass time seem appealing to her? What if the wrong kind of person stops and invites her into their car? You are prepping her to be an easy target.”
But there was nothing he could do to curb the little girl’s sense of adventure, and she continued to get into cars with strangers. Then there was that day when the inevitable had finally happened, the strange man with the brown hair had stopped his car and offered her a ride.
Kodi had been playing on the side of the road with a cat’s eye marble she had found. A cat’s eye marble was a treasure that even she recognised because she had watched the neighbourhood boys as they challenged each other to win one from someone who was brave enough to place theirs into the game. Kodi sat there rolling the marble too and fro between her bare feet watching the different shades of brown sparkling in the sunlight.
“That is a very pretty marble little one,” he’d said, wondering why he had been warned by Saul to pay particular attention to both girls for the next few days or so? The other twin was at home with their mother; he knew there was no problem with her, so he knew it was this one, the little wanderer, and the little bread thief who needed the special monitoring.
He had been on the prowl for about an hour driving past schools and parks but having no luck. The parents of children in the city had been warned to keep a close eye on their children and there was an air of terror looming over everyone because of certain events that had occurred in recent months. One child’s body had been found having been disposed of up in a tree, and a strange looking man with brown hair had approached three or four other children, girls, he always took little girls.
“He doesn’t speak proper, and he’s got stars on his hands,” several girls had claimed when questioned by police after having been approached by him. One other six year old girl had been coerced into getting into a vehicle to go and look for a missing puppy, and the child, although beaten and abused, had miraculously survived the ordeal. The same thing had been said, “He speaks funny and he’s got lots of stars on his hands.”
The police had assumed the man had a speech impediment, and that’s what the children meant by him speaking funny. As for the children’s claims that the man had lots of stars on his hands, they were mystified. They could think of no logical explanation for that claim, except that perhaps it was part of the urban legend syndrome that had been passed from child to child on the streets of the city and in the playgrounds of its schools. It had gotten to the stage where they completely ignored the ‘lots of stars on his hands’ claim. They could not have been more wrong or exercised a worse error in judgement. Had they have put more effort into the speech impediment and stars information, then the perpetrator of such heinous crimes would have been captured much sooner, and his psychotic fantasy, that involved the taking of innocent life, halted.
He saw her sitting there all alone on the edge of the road, and there were no adults around, no other children playing in the street and therefore no witnesses. “She’s perfect,” he thought to himself as he slowed his vehicle down to take a closer look. Once he was further down the road he turned the car around and made one more pass to ensure the coast was indeed clear.
“Didn’t that car just pass us a moment ago? Now the car is back again, I wonder what the driver wants?” he thought, as he stared at the car.
She’d be easy to coerce because she looked as though she wasn’t really that well cared for, so he pulled up just in front of her and got out of his car. “What parents leave their children out to play alone when someone like me is lurking the streets, don’t they care?” he thought as he chuckled to himself.
“Okay, what’s this?” he asked as he watched the man get out of his car and walk around the front to approach the little girl.
“Hello little girl, what are you doing?”
“Lots of stars on his hands,” the words played over and over in his mind as he stared at the man’s hands.
Kodi looked up at him and said, “Playing with my cat’s eye marble.”
“Wow, you got a cat’s eye marble? They’re really special aren’t they? I had a cat’s eye marble when I was a boy too,” he lied as he stared around him nervously.
“What are you looking for? Why are you nervous? No, you’re not looking for anything are you? You’re checking that the coast is clear, but what for?”
It was then that he recognised the danger, “Lots of stars on his hands, of course, how could they be so stupid as to overlook that detail? You’re one of ‘them’ aren’t you? You mean this child harm, you poison everything you touch, and I see it in your eyes. You hunger for the innocent and then you come out on the prowl in an effort to feed your lust.”
He sat there staring up into the face of the man, and the man felt as though he was being watched but he couldn’t see anyone and so he put it down to nerves. But he knew he shouldn’t be doing what he was doing.
“Yeah I could stop, of course I’d have to turn myself in, well that’s what he said when he spoke to me. Arrogant fool thinking he can tell me what to do. I will stop when I’m ready to stop, and I’m not ready to stop yet. What else did he say? Oh that’s right, they’ll forgive me, if I turn myself in I will be forgiven, how condescending! Of course I’ll have to face the earthly consequences of my actions, but they’ll forgive me. Earthly consequences, they’d have to catch me first and they don’t even know where to start. God loves me, ha; there IS no God! If there were a God then He himself would strike me down. No, there’s only one god and that’s me. I AM GOD, and I will do whatever it is I choose to do, so long as the Romans continue to feed their innocent to the lions.”
“Do you want to come for a ride in my car? We can go and get some candy and go to the park.”
“No,” said Kodi, she didn’t want to end her game with the marble.
“Okay so you’re going to have to come up with something better than that, this kid obviously doesn’t hold much stock in candy. Of course, she won’t know what I mean, what do they call them here? Oh yeah lollies.”
“Lollies, we can go and get some lollies,” he said in an effort to bait the hook that would get the child to show some interest in going with him.
“Don’t want lollies,” said Kodi, disinterestedly. She could get lollies any time she wanted to if she choose to, she knew how to sneak into the shop.
That was when he first understood that there may have been a very good reason why the people in the shop had always allowed her to get away with stealing from them, perhaps it was fates way of ensuring this monster could never lure her away so easily? Not that the shopkeeper would have known that, but everything that happens, good or bad, has consequences, “Not that we ever truly understand it,” he thought to himself as he sat there.
“You don’t want to come for a ride with me?” he asked, becoming desperate to get the child into his car.
“No,” said Kodi without looking up.
“Good little girl,” he said as put his hand on her head and ruffled her hair.
“If this kid doesn’t start cooperating with me soon I’m just going to grab her, there’s no one around, no one’s going to see or hear anything. But I’ll try to get her to come quietly first.”
“What is your name little girl?”
“Marli,” she lied.
“Can you come to the park with me, I have lost my puppy and he is very little. Perhaps you could come and help me find him?”
That was when he knew for certain who the diabolical creature standing before him was, and as the realisation hit him, his stomach muscles contracted and he thought he might be sick, and then he flew into panic.
“Is her moment at hand? She is still small, just a baby, not yet even five. This can’t be right, this can’t be meant to happen, not yet.”
The man reached out his hand for Kodi to take a hold of, and for a second she sat there staring at his hand, at the stars tattooed onto his knuckles wondering whether she should go with the strange man or not?
“Poor little puppy,” she said staring up at the man, “what colour is he?”
“Little one don’t get into his car, run, run for all you are worth,” he’d said as he stared hard at the man who owned the car. Then he stood up and got right in his face and said, “You diabolical man, you sinful hateful creature, you lay a hand on this child and I will strike you down where you stand!”
“My puppy is brown and he has little spots of black on him,” said the man.
Kodi laughed and said playfully, “A spotty dog, a spotty puppy.”
“Get in your car and leave or I will kill you.”
“You cannot interfere with freewill,” said the older man who had walked up to the car and was taking extreme interest in what was unfolding.
He looked straight at the old man and said, “She is just a baby, Saul, I will not allow this to happen, I will strike him down if he touches her.”
“You cannot strike him down because you cannot interfere in freewill,” he repeated.
“Marli, Marli is your name? That is a very pretty name,” said the man.
“What’s your name?” she innocently asked.
“My name is, ah… William. So, Marli, will you come with me to find my little puppy?”
“I’m too good for them, Mark, John, Joshua, Craig, Eric and today I am William, yes William is a safe sounding name.”
“Yup,” she had said as she stood up and made her way toward the passenger door.
“Saul, stop this, stop this from happening, I beg you, Saul.” He was panic-stricken and could not bear the thought of what the little girl would suffer at the hands of the man if she were to make it into his car.
“Freewill, I cannot interfere with his freewill.”
“I too have freewill and I will use it to stop this, Saul.”
“Do what you must.”
With that he stuck out his foot and she tripped over it smacking her forehead on the door handle of the car. She began screaming, and Charles panicked.
“Oh my lord she’s screaming like a banshee, someone’s going to come out to check it out for sure!” he thought. He quickly made his way to his car, got into it and drove away leaving the screaming child on the ground with blood trickling down her forehead from the wound.
Saul couldn’t believe he was able to trip her up, but this child was unlike any other he had ever seen before. There was something different with this child, but Saul had no idea what at the time.
“He will now move onto someone else,” said Saul.
“Well that will be up to that child’s helper, but I will not sit by and allow this to happen to one of mine. I WILL NOT!” he said as he crouched down beside the little girl on the ground and lifted her fringe to ascertain the extent of the cut.
“It’s a little nasty but it will heal. Why can’t you stop him Saul, talk to him, something?” he asked as he stood up grasping the crying little girl by the arm helping her to her feet also.
“We have tried to speak to him.”
“Strike him down then, Saul. Why can’t the protection of the innocent take precedent over his sort?”
“As I said before, it is not that simple.” The older man was trying to have patience with his under study, but he was young, headstrong and still learning about the way things worked.
“Is there something else I should have done?”
“You did the right thing, but no, he is a predator, there are many out there just like him and we can’t stop them. He has been spoken to and he will not stop, his thirst for the blood of the innocent will never be assuaged.”
“STRIKE HIM DOWN THEN AND EVERYONE LIKE HIM!” He was angry, angry at Saul’s reluctance to do anything, angry at the unfairness of the world, and angry at the savage nature of man.
“We are strange allies with warring hearts are we not? And it will stay that way until you truly gain the wisdom to compliment your emotions. You are very new to this, and you don’t yet fully understand how this works. Most of the time it is heart break.”
“That’s a cop out, you too have freewill, Saul!”
He then became angry with the younger man. “I AM NOT GOD! AND NEITHER ARE YOU!” Saul stood there silently for a moment just breathing, calming himself and trying to regain his composure. “And even God will not strike him down. He has freewill and he has exercised his right to continue down this chosen path. You kept her from serious harm today, rejoice in that, for those moments in this world, are few.” The man had walked away shaking his head, but he knew that the younger one, despite his naiveté, had meant well. He had kept the child as safe as he was physically able to so he had done his job, and he would learn as more years passed by. Yes he would learn his limitations.
He remembered a lesson he’d learned as a young lad, no more than eighteen years of age when he’d been a witness, of sorts, to the carrying of little ones across the mist. As shocking as the lesson had been at the time, he knew it had already passed, been and gone, never to be revisited again, but the next experience was a little closer to home. Once he got a little older, (a few years after the incident with Kodi) he’d heard about what it was like to actually be there when you lost one; what it was like to lose one of your own. He’d heard about the emotionally crippling torment and anguish that was felt during the carrying of that beaten and broken child across the mist.
His childhood friend had once been one to watch over certain children, but one day something terrible had happened and he had lost her. He had tried to stop it, but nothing he did could deter the child from going into that abandoned house to look for that man’s lost puppy. He’d used every tactic he could think of, in attempting to defer her attention onto something else, but nothing had worked. The murder had been grizzly and he had stayed with her during the entire thing, he had to, that was his job. He had tired to strike down the perpetrator of the brutal crime, and he had tried to deflect every blow the monster had bestowed upon the child, but he had discovered that it could not be done. With her screams and cries for help ringing ever louder in his ears in that abandoned house he had discovered that it was physically impossible to do anything once it started. All he could do was bury his face in his hands as the tears of anguish poured down his face.
Saul had been there with him to comfort him, but it had been useless, for how does one comfort a helper when a child is being savaged by a raging yet coldly sane monster?
When that situation had come to pass, he, and others like him, had learned that terrible things can not always be averted no matter what you do. He had realized then just how close his call had been, how close he’d come to living through what his friend had lived through.
The situation was so horrific that no one was ever the same; innocence was lost, a sense of purpose was lost, and a sense of assumed power had proved to be mistaken. At the end of the day they were really quite powerless to stop anyone on any chosen path if the person was truly intent in remaining on it.

Kodi lived in many different homes over the years and never really formed any long-term attachments to anyone or any place. She never stayed anywhere for too long, often being moved from one home to another without warning and with no explanation. Kodi basically spent her childhood and early teen years wandering aimlessly through a system that was supposed to take care of her and nurture her, but that did the complete opposite. The girl never complained, to the contrary she got so used to it that it seemed normal, it seemed it was supposed to be that way, and anything that might have strayed out of that kind of pattern of life would have served only to unnerve her.
But with the ever-changing nature of her existence as a child, it wasn’t really any great mystery that Kodi should be wary of committing to anything or anyone, and that she in fact found the idea of even keeping a pot plant terrifying. Not because she didn’t want to take care of it, but because it would depend on her and need her, and what if she failed it, what if it died? If it died Kodi ran the danger of concluding that the pot plant hadn’t really liked her, and as strange as that may sound, it wasn’t at all a unique conclusion to jump to, well not for someone who had lived as Kodi had lived.
Yet despite her pot plant anxieties in adulthood, Kodi had a very deep concern for stray animals and was often seen trying to coax some cat out from under an old abandoned house. If she couldn’t get the cat to come out, and then she’d feed it until it got friendly enough to approach her, at which point she’d grab it.
Kodi always felt like a traitor, like she was betraying the cat’s trust by grabbing it and carrying if off to some strange place like a cat shelter. But Kodi knew that the cats stood a much better chance of finding a new loving home from that destination than they ever did hiding out starving under some old house in all weather.
Kodi’s friends thought she was a little odd with her concern for stray animals, and when her sister Marli came back into her life in adulthood, Marli thought she was just plain crazy. Kodi was always concerned about other people’s feelings too, and could go into a semi panic in a heart beat if she thought she had hurt something or offended someone, and so she tended to keep friendships removed from her heart. She did it by way of being the jester, the prankster, ever the joker, always having something witty to say, and people were drawn to her for this very reason.
Problem was, it just wasn’t her, and pretending to be something that you are not is terribly hard work, as she had discovered very early on. The other downside was that whenever anyone said something cruel or cutting to her, she’d just let it slide off her, like water off a duck’s back. The trouble with that was it actually didn’t slide off her at all, to the contrary, she absorbed it like a sponge, and it’d sit inside festering away, maybe for months, some of it even for years. When it finally did make it’s way to the surface, nine times out of ten Kodi would turn it back in on herself again, blaming herself for feeling the emotions. Scolding herself for being gutless or for not being able to be honest with people, and deeply ridiculing herself for being a fake.
Truth and consequences were a strange combination, but one that Kodi possessed a deeper understanding of than most.
Truth?
Well everyone says they want it, but the consequences of truth generally dictate that you lose a friend or get into a fight and lose a friend. Kodi knew that it was a rare person indeed who said, “Give me the truth,” and didn’t actually mean, “Lie to me, lie, lie, lie because I can’t handle the truth.”
But that’s where Voh had been different, she’d decided to be just Kodi with him. No lies, total truth. If she was happy she wrote happy e-mails, if she felt like crap, she wrote crap e-mails. If he pissed her off, she let him know, and if he made her laugh, or made her feel happy, glad, exited, whatever the emotions, she let him know about that too.
He surprised her by being very receptive to whom ever Kodi was, and the things that went to make up the girl, the complex little creature that she was mystified and intrigued him. She was a writer, and he had picked that up about her immediately and was quite impressed with her command of the English language.
Sure sometimes she pissed him off and he let her know about it too, and through her having presented him with the straight up Kodi, with none of the ‘extra fake crap’ thrown in to create the usual ruse, Kodi forged the strongest, most honest friendship of her life. She developed a deep admiration for Voh, and that admiration grew to respect, then trust, and then flew wildly into a strange kind of love that Kodi had never in her life ever experienced. Although that deep love was the one thing she had always kept hidden from Voh, simply for fear he’d not quite understand. She knew that no matter where she went or what happened in the future, he’d always be with her, deep inside her heart, there he would be.
In Kodi’s experience it was not a good thing to express too much affection for anyone, because she always had the thought in her mind of where it would leave her when the other person tired of her, and they always would because they always had. It took her an extremely long time to accept that perhaps Voh was different, and the first few times she let him know he’d upset her, she did so with fear and trembling. She’d feel very brave and empowered having spoken truthfully, but after a while she’d feel scared and very afraid.
She feared he would simply bite back at her and that would be that, and often, after having pressed the send button, she would lay awake in the darkness of the night, listening to Phil Collins and wondering if Voh had blocked her e-mail addy yet?
Would the e-mail she got in the morning be the one where he explained that it would be better for them to simply go their separate ways and not communicate with each other any more? Well that was what people had always done, when she became a problem, even if it was just slight, they got rid of her. And being the real Kodi, without the fake crap thrown in, was a very complex and tough thing to be, and Kodi often wondered what Voh made of her?
And on the other hand, there Voh was worrying every now and then that Kodi would snap a virtual CD in his face, that she would somehow read something he had said to her as him rejecting her, and it was the one thing Voh would never do. Often she wondered why he bothered with her at all, but then she’d remember his playful little ditty he used to make her smile, “He likes you Sally, he really likes you.”
And he never ever ran her down or made her feel as though she should be something better, or something different, or something more. Some times Kodi could and would nose dive into deep sadness, generally to do with something that had happened years ago, often childhood events.
Voh somehow understood that when painful things happen to people that sometimes they leave a tiny piece of their heart in that dreadful place. Part of purpose of diving down into the sadness was an attempt to return to that place to try and reclaim that piece of heart, that piece of self that had been left behind in that place for so long.
Trouble was that not quite all the pieces could ever be found, and it was tantamount to trying to put together a 10’000 piece jigsaw puzzle with 2000 of the pieces missing, the attempts always left her feeling displaced. The sense of displacement made it incredibly hard for Kodi to assimilate within the world around her.
Assimilation is key to survival in any community anywhere in the world, and Kodi simply did not possess the ability to do that. So Kodi always felt as though she was existing outside of everything, or on the cusp of everything, and she never really felt as though she actually existed within something, except for when she was talking to Voh.
When Kodi became deeply entrenched in the recovery process, some times Voh would divert her attention away by asking her for help with something. Kodi had no idea what he was doing, but Voh knew that if he diverted Kodi’s attention away from a deeply stressful line of thought, even just for a few moments, then often it would not seem as consuming as it had to begin with when she returned to it. And Kodi always returned to it because she couldn’t help but think things to death.
Diversion was Voh’s way of ensuring that the emotions of remembering the event did not completely floor the girl, because some of the memories Kodi had were dreadful, and he cared what happened to her, he truly cared. But despite the spiral downwards in her emotional state from time to time, Voh seemed content with the Kodi he had, and he was the only person she ever really truly loved at all. Well love in the sense that Kodi understood love to be, and perhaps that was why her sense of love for him was so strong? She didn’t know what the reason was for sure and neither did he.
Sometimes it crossed Kodi’s mind that it was easier to love Voh because he wasn’t there in front of her, picking at her faults or trying to change her, and she often wondered whether she would in fact love him at all were they ever to come face to face. Regardless, to merely place Kodi’s love for Voh at the feet of desire or passion, as some of her friends had done on the day of the funeral, would be to sully it. No, it was so much more complex, and yet simple at the same time. It was of a higher order, that higher order where it didn’t matter what the other person did or said, you still loved them with as much gusto. And it scared the life out of Kodi, but it also made her life feel pretty good to have Voh in her life.
Kodi had been haunted by dreams all her life, dreams of trying to escape, although she always chose the wrong escape route and got captured by her pursuers. In other dreams she was being tricked or could see that other people were being tricked, but no one would ever listen to her until it was too late. Often times Kodi would wake up crying, grief stricken, but she could never connect her turbulent formative years with the current distress she was feeling, whatever form that distress took.
Another form Kodi’s dream took were betrayal, like the time she dreamed that she was drowning. In the dream she had walked down the track of the farm and had somehow fallen into the pond. As she started to sink she began to try to keep herself afloat and as her arms splashed about in the water she spied her foster father and foster brother staring at her. To their left stood her trusted Uncle Seth looking on, but he turned from her just as she began to find herself in peril. Her foster father and brother just stood there staring at her, and she knew they wouldn’t help, so she called out for her Uncle Seth. He didn’t appear to hear her and so she began screaming out his name, and although she knew he could hear her, he continued to keep walking up the track away from her. The sense of betrayal she felt was deep, as she had been sure she could always trust her Uncle Seth to help her out of trouble, but through her dream she’d become convinced he could never been trusted again.
Once she’d moved to America, the dreams had ceased, but after going to the cemetery on the day of the funeral the dreams had started again. They had been so severe in content as to be terrifying, and the dreams very quickly reached the stage where Kodi was too afraid to sleep, and in turn the lack of sleep fuelled the panic attacks. And the people around her seemed to be behaving oddly and Kodi was never quite sure whether the oddities were on her part or theirs, and her biggest worry took the form of Ruby.
Ruby came by her place for two days after the funeral and often times she’d see Ruby conversing with nobody, yet there were lulls in the conversation as though someone were speaking back to her. Kodi would try to speak to Ruby, yet Ruby never answered her.
Ruby would never directly speak to Kodi either, and Kodi found that very odd, but she came to the conclusion that perhaps Ruby’s imaginary friend was like the man from Kodi’s dreams? Often times Kodi reminded herself of her own childhood psychosis involving her imaginary friend and she wondered if maybe it was Ruby’s way of coping with a life that had been less than merciful to her too?
But as the days went on after the funeral the dreams began to take on a life of their own, like some mini series out of her control. The same blond haired blue eyed man was always there, haunting her, tormenting her, but she couldn’t work out why. In the dreams he kept trying to say something to her, and she knew it was something important but she could never quite make out the words.
What bothered Kodi more about the dream was that she had an aversion to blond haired blue eyed men and had never dated one, ever. If she saw a man on the street, even a good looking man, if he had blue eyes she never looked twice. If he had blond hair, she’d not look at him at all, and she could never account for her preference for dark haired, brown- eyed men. It made no sense at all to Kodi that she would dream of blue eyed blond haired men.
Kodi’s ideal was tall, brown eyed, dark and handsome and her sister Marli was very different to Kodi in that respect. To Marli, any man was fair game so long as he had money, dark haired, light haired, or even bald, she didn’t care, so long as he had the moolah to provide for her what she wanted.
And Marli wanted the good life, the easy life because she believed that was what she deserved, and it was some man’s job out there to provide that for her. Marli didn’t believe in love, soul mates, or any of those other things that go to make up romanticism. She in fact considered those things to be banal insignificant little sidebars to male/female relationships. She didn’t understand the dreamy, airy-fairy Kodi at all, and she really didn’t possess any inclination to begin to even try. A man was a man if he possessed money, and if he was broke, then he wasn’t worth Marli’s time.
Marli could care less whether she hurt other people’s feelings or not and was often cruelly honest with the truth. She’d dive into the fray and tell people exactly what she thought, and very seldom did she ever give even half a thought to the consequences.
Kodi believed her friends had deserted her after the funeral for her sister, after the ugly things she had said to them, and so that’s when she’d begun to think about leaving, getting away, just starting all over again. She’d gotten it into her head that their behaviour clearly showed a preference for her dead sister, and she knew that Marli had been right all along; they never liked her.
There was nothing of any interest to her anymore, no sister, no parents and no friends, so what was the point of hanging around any longer than necessary. Her job was driving her mad and even Voh wasn’t speaking to her anymore, no matter how much e-mail she sent, he remained silent, and people’s rejection of her had been the biggest part of the torment she desired only to escape.
When Marli had shown up out of the blue in adult life, Kodi had been receptive to her. Marli had tracked her down all the way from New Zealand, and so Kodi assumed that Marli was really willing to make the effort to try and behave like family to Kodi. Kodi wanted to desperately have her twin in her life, and so right from the start she had practiced what she’d done with Voh with Marli, honesty.
She believed that if she just opened up to Marli and really tried to get to know her that everything would somehow be alright and that all the things that had been missing in her life over the years would somehow be righted through Marli’s presence. Marli was her sister, her family, not borrowed, not bought or begged, Marli was her flesh and blood. Kodi had never had that, someone she belonged with by a right of birth, someone whom she could trust implicitly and she treasured her. Kodi had always had the dream that one day she’d belong, and Marli coming into her life was almost the dream come to reality and Kodi was desperate to hang onto it.
As desperation generally dictates, Kodi ended up tolerating anything and everything from Marli in order that her dream of belonging not become shattered, and she tolerated things to the point of absurdity. But despite the absurdity, when she introduced Marli as her sister, she knew she was never going to be embarrassed by people finding out that she wasn’t really her blood sister, and was rather just someone she had lived with for a time. No, those days were over for Kodi when Marli had shown up, and she came to need Marli in her life as much as she needed air, no matter the depths of the consequences, no matter the level of hurt inflicted she would hang on to Marli no matter what.
The worse thing was that Marli knew it.
Marli on the other hand could care less for blood ties, blood lines, relatives, bonding and any of that other family jargon. Mostly she travelled 14’000 miles to find Kodi because she was curious, nothing more. She wanted to know what had become of her twin, had she become a prostitute, a junkie, was she in jail or maybe even dead? Marli was shocked to find that Kodi had actually done okay for herself.
Marli told her all about her life, how she’d dated mostly bad boys, and the badder the better. She spoke of being the apple of their mother’s eye and as she spoke Kodi got the distinct impression that even those words had been designed to cut to the core. Oddly enough it didn’t bother Kodi in the slightest that Marli had been the one favoured by their mother because Kodi believed, in that instance anyway, that you don’t miss what you never had.
Kodi thought back to the incident where the doll had been found in a box up on the shed roof, well that’s where their mother had said she had found it.
She’d made a big play of presenting the doll to Marli right there in front of Kodi and she had made sure that Kodi had known that her mother did not view her the same as Marli, nor did she love her in any way shape or form either. Kodi remembered the tears she had cried at having been left with nothing while Marli was given everything, and she also remembered looking up into the face of the man with the dark hair. He had held her hand and said, “It’s okay little one, it is just a doll, nothing more, just a silly little doll,” and he’d wiped her tear streaked face with his sleeve later in her room.
“At least I think that’s what he did. Maybe that never happened at all, seeing as how I imagined him? Oh man I hope Marli can’t remember that piece of childhood,” she’d thought to herself, as she sat there staring back at her sister, watching her mouth move but hardly hearing a word at that point.
Kodi had never had her mother’s love and had always known how her mother felt toward her, so Marli’s words were no surprise on that count.
There was an air of excitement, even danger, that Marli seemed incapable of existing without, and that concerned Kodi a great deal. But there were things Marli didn’t tell her twin, like her relationship with her stepfather and the way she’d seduced and lured him into a relationship with her at age sixteen. Nor did she tell Kodi how she’d cried rape and had the stepfather charged and then jailed. The day he had been sentenced in the court he had yelled at her from the dock, “I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE KEPT THE OTHER ONE YOU EVIL LITTLE BITCH!”
Nor did she share with Kodi the way she had driven their mother almost mad with her carrying on. Kodi had asked questions about their stepfather, but Marli had replied, “Always keep a little salt on the bread.”
“What do you mean by that?’ Kodi had asked a little mystified but also intrigued.
“Didn’t you ever read the Potato Factory?”
“The what?” asked Kodi, she’d never heard of it before and from that day she had always meant to read it but never really got around to it.
“The Potato Factory, the book, Tommo and Hawk?”
Marli had immediately recognised that Kodi had no idea what she meant and used it as a barb against her, accusing Kodi of being of low intellect.
“Always keep something back for yourself Kodi, never give it all away. If mother taught me nothing else she at the least taught me that,” Marli thought to herself as she sat there staring at her twin.
“I have read Roots,” offered Kodi.
“Well you would wouldn’t you, Alex Haley’s tripe.”
“It wasn’t tripe Marli, it was a very good story and true to boot, I bet you can’t say that about your Potato Factory.”
“Roots is Alex Haley’s way of keeping white upper class American guilt intact all these years later after slavery was abolished. Do you seriously view Negroes as victims?”
“Yes I do,” Kodi had replied.
“The only reason black people were enslaved instead of white people is because white people thought of it first. Do you really think the Africans would have had any qualms about sailing to England and enslaving white folks if they’d actually had the nouse to come up with the idea first?”
Kodi had stared at her sister incredulously for the hundredth time in that one-day alone and had asked, “You don’t really believe this stuff do you?”
“Of course I do, it’s eat or be eaten in this world, kill or be killed, you of all people should have learned that by now.”
“How cynical must one get before they start viewing life with such simplicity?”
“It’s not simplistic, it’s really actually quite complex, anyway just be sure to remember to keep a little salt on the bread sister.”
“Hate is a disease Marli,” said Kodi.
“No Kodi, hate is a means to an end.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What do you think it’s supposed to mean Kodi?”
“I’m not going to sit here all night trying to decode your metaphors Marli.”
“Oh, big words for someone who’s not so educated.”
“What would you know about my intellectual ability?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way Kodi, but you weren’t exactly the sharpest knife in the draw were you and nothing’s really changed too much has it? Oh well, we can’t all be beautiful and educated.”
Marli had sat there staring and smiling at Kodi, and it was one of those times where Kodi wasn’t sure whether her sister was joking or trying to deliberately hurt her. The extent of Marli’s true feelings toward her twin became more evident in the things she thought as she sat there staring at her sister while she spoke.
“Control the world or else the world will control you, isn’t that what mother used to tell me?” Marli thought to herself. “There is no such thing as fate or luck, you make your own luck, and as for fate, that’s for the weaklings of the world. Nothing that happens to me is out of my control and no person can exert their will upon me, step-daddy learned that one pretty fast didn’t he? Yeah people can call me wicked, I don’t care, wicked or good, I am either by my own choosing. And you Kodi, look at you, wind swept, weak willed, perhaps even pitiful with your imaginary friends and your belief in God. Yes I remember how you used to sit right up the front during bible in Sunday school and there I was thinking at the time that you were merely after the gold star for sitting up the straightest. But you weren’t were you? You generally ate up that baloney about a saviour coming to save the wicked from their sin, well I’ll tell you something sister, one day you’ll call out to God only to find out he’s not real, just give me a reason to show you, I dare you! I hate you, I despise you for the way you went off and lived in flash houses with the best of everything. All the best clothes, all the opportunities, never going without a thing, and there was I stuck in mediocre-ville. Every time our mother needed something, who did it, you? No, it was I, I had to take care of her all the time, and it made me tired. I never got to be a kid because she needed me to do everything because she was hopeless and useless. You made her that way from the second you were born until the second you left, and once you were gone it was too late for her to be any different. You drove my father away too, and if not for you I would have had a normal life, but no, you had to come along and ruin everything. You are the worse thing that ever happened to my mother my father and me. Well you will pay for it Kodi, some how, some way, I am going to get even with you, just give me an excuse.”
After spending many evenings well into the early hours of the morning talking with Marli and catching up on everything that had gone on in her life since they were small, Kodi got the definite idea that her and Marli were very different. Kodi hadn’t forgotten the incidences she’d suffered through at the hands of Marli when she was small, but she’d consoled herself with the fact that Marli had been small too.
“Perhaps Marli had not understood the seriousness of some of the things she’d done to me?”
The thought that Marli might have known exactly what she was doing had crept across Kodi’s mind once or twice in adulthood, but the thought was too frightening for Kodi to entertain as any kind of honest truth for too long. No Marli had been a little girl too, victimised by their mother too, just to a different extent and in an entirely different way. But Kodi told herself; “Torment is torment.”
Their stepfather had ensured Kodi had often been shut away from Marli as a small child, but Marli had been shut away from Kodi to the same degree. So in some aspects Kodi viewed Marli as having been a victim at the hands of their stepfather too as much as she herself had been. The end result was that she equated Marli’s experiences as the same as hers, therefore Marli would think and act similarly to her, and that was the biggest mistake Kodi Madison ever made.
Kodi eventually realised that Marli like to live on the edge and although she thought Marli to be a little wild, she thought Marli was mostly hot air. But Marli’s thirst for excitement and danger was strong, almost an incessant thing she craved and couldn’t live without, so she’d even gone as far as to ensure she got a job tending bar for some really questionable characters, the Papadopolis brothers, and they were ruthless. Kodi was constantly worrying that Marli would one-day get herself killed by one of them through doing something really stupid.
“You’re working for a real live Tony Soprano there Marli, are you crazy, do you have a death wish?”
“Tony Soprano isn’t a bad guy, he’s quite nice at times if you remember,” quipped Marli.
“He’s a television series character, his real name is James Gandolfini. Tony Soprano isn’t real and when you have had enough of him you just switch him off, you can’t switch those brothers off at will Marli. If you do the wrong thing or make one false move, you could wind up in a shallow grave somewhere.”
“George would never do that to me,” said Marli.
“How can you be so sure and what about Frank?”
“What about him Kodi?”
“Frank is in charge of the business Kodi, George answers to him from what I have heard around the place.”
“Well what you hear and actual facts are two totally different things. For one, George loves me and…”
“WHAT?”
“Yes, George loves me and he is the one in control, Frank does what he’s told.”
“Are you dating George?”
“Yeah, have been for months now.”
“Are you insane?” asked Kodi.
“No I’m not insane if you must know, he loves me, he’s the man for me, and anyway Kodi, it’s none of your business.”
“Fine, do what you want, but don’t involve me in it okay because I don’t want anything to do with them.”
But a few months later Marli had insisted on taking Kodi to their bar one night, and Kodi had almost gotten into a huge fight with Marli over it.
“I don’t want to have anything to do with them Marli, I told you that right from the start.”
“You have to come, I told them you would.”
“What did you do that for?”
“Because you’re my family and they want to meet you.”
“But I don’t want to…”
“Please, please do this for me, please?” she’d pleaded as she gently touched Kodi’s arm.
Marli seemed sincere to Kodi, and she thought about how important it had been to her that Marli meet her friends. It was just as important for her to meet Marli’s friends too, no matter who they were, so she decided to cave in and meet Frank and George Papadopolis after all.
Kodi had expected the bar to be a seedy little joint, dark, dismal, smoky and the people, at best, to look like gang member and such persons of that ilk. She was pleasantly surprised to discover that she couldn’t have been more wrong if she had tried. The place looked almost like a brasserie, and the bar room was light and airy. There was even a patio where one could go and socialise outside if one wished to do so.
The one thing Kodi did notice were all the men in suits and dark sunglasses, and she thought it was odd that they wore them even in the late afternoon, but they were obviously employees of the brothers Papadopolis.
When Kodi and Marli had arrived at the bar, the doorman had ushered them straight in and Kodi noticed all manner of men and women glancing at them and then glancing back at them again as they did a double take. To them it appeared that there were two Marli Madisons, so alike were the girls to look at, and Kodi felt as though she was under a microscope as she followed her sister across the bar toward the back table. Once they got to the table George stood up and just stared at the two girls and said, “If I wasn’t sober I’d think I was terribly drunk and seeing double,” and then he laughed. Marli joined in the laughter.
Kodi just stood there smiling awkwardly at the other brother Frank, who seemed as unamused as she was by George’s quip.
Initially George and Frank scared the life out of her, and she simply sat there at the table with them sipping her coke feeling extremely conspicuous and saying nothing. She could feel Frank staring at her sideways and she noticed how George just stared straight at her. Her heart pounded in her chest and she thought about all the scenarios that could end in death at the hands of these two seemingly ordinary brothers. They were both very good looking she noted, brown eyes, dark hair, Italian, maybe even Greek, she wasn’t sure. But Frank, the elder brother, had a look of menace about his eyes and he unnerved her more than George.
But once she’d been there an hour or so she’d begun to relax a little and began to see them for what they were. Yes they were crooks, but they were ordinary people with thoughts and feelings just like her, and their way of life was not chosen, it had been bred into them. Frank and George had inherited the whole shebang from their father Antonio, and he had, in turn, inherited it from his father Franklyn.
As Kodi sat there at the table, she wondered how many bodies were buried under the floorboards of the establishment and then she smirked to herself and shook her head at her overactive imagination. Her reaction to her secret thoughts did not go unnoticed by Frank who sat there staring back at her wondering what her deal was?
While Kodi sat there trying to remain unnoticed, she did notice that Marli was obviously truly crazy about George, but Kodi was not convinced that the feeling was mutual. Marli had led Kodi to believe that the relationship with George was serious in nature, and yet George had struck Kodi as not being too interested at all.
Every time Marli had hung over George, Kodi noticed the way he tended to slink out from under her or shrug her off because it was not dissimilar to the way she herself tended to shrug people off. A few times as he shrugged Marli off he made eye contact with Kodi, and Kodi stared away but happened to catch Frank’s eye, and she felt as though the three of them were having some kind of silent communication. Not a word was spoken about it, yet Kodi instinctively got the impression that all was not well between the brothers, as far as Marli was concerned, but she tried to ignore it.
To Kodi it seemed George was almost embarrassed by Marli’s attention, and Kodi did not miss the looks exchanged between the brothers every time Marli wandered off to get another drink.
At the end of the night Kodi felt as though she spent another wasted evening because she had basically sat there the whole time sipping non-alcoholic beverages, while watching her sister make a complete fool out of herself. Kodi thought the two brothers didn’t like her at all because they hardly spoke a word to her, but contrary to what she thought, the two brothers were extremely impressed by Kodi. The feeling was not mutual, and after that, Kodi refused point blank to socialise with Marli again. Besides the fact that the brothers were the biggest crooks in town, one of her friends, Chas, dated the brother of a cop. So either way it would not be a good business for Kodi to get stuck in the middle of, and she opted to stay well out of it. However, that was to be easier said than done.
Soon after the meeting with George and Frank Papadopolis the phone calls and flowers started arriving. Kodi was forever erasing phone messages where George would suggest they should get together, or he knew this great little restaurant, “yada, yada, yada,” Kodi would say as she listened to them all.
“What about Marli, George?” she would ask as she stared hard at the little machine.
Every time the flowers had arrived from George, she’d just thrown them straight in the bin, and if she thought she saw him anywhere she hid. Although one time when he ran into her he refused to believe that she was not Marli, so she lifted her fringe and showed him the faint little scar that started just outside of her hair line and disappeared into it.
“For future reference,” she’d explained to him at the time.
“That has to be the only telltale sign that there is any difference between you,” said a terribly embarrassed George.
“Well, you weren’t to know,” she’d said cordially.
“How did you get it?”
“I fell getting into a car when I was just a little girl, can I go now?”
“Just a moment, how do I know you’re not Marli passing herself off as Kodi?”
“Marli is not that smart, and besides, she’d die before she ever let you think she was me,” she’d said with a slight smile on her face.
“Hmmm, I sense dissention in the twin ranks.”
“Yeah, I don’t tell my sister much, I don’t even think Marli knows I have this scar.”
“Well it’ll be our little secret then,” he’d said smiling.
“Our only secret,” said Kodi, as she made her way as far away from him as she could possibly get. Kodi had seen Suicide Kings; mobsters never forget, “And it doesn’t matter where you run to once you’ve crossed them, because they’ll always find you,” she’d said to herself, as she’d hurried away from him. She suspected that to dump George Papadopolis, once you’d gotten involved with him, would be to sign your own death warrant, and although at the same time she strongly suspected that she was actually wrong on that count, she didn’t ever want to chance finding out for sure. Kodi also knew that Marli had a serious thing for George, and even though it was probably a one sided love affair with his wallet rather than the man himself, Kodi definitely didn’t want Marli to find out that George’s eye had fallen on her.
Marli would never have forgiven her for it, and Kodi knew it. No, her sister was more important to her than any man or friend she could ever or would ever have, well except for maybe Voh.

Kodi had reciprocated, flushing in the details of her life with Marli, the places she’d lived in, the people she’d lived with and schools she had attended, boyfriends she’d had, and she’d even told her about Voh.
“Right from the first e-mail he seemed familiar to me, which actually seemed odd to me, because rarely do I ever click with anyone on-line. By the third e-mail I began to feel as though I’d known Voh all my life. Marli I had so many things to say to him I feared I ran the risk of driving the poor man crazy. I got a bit scared that I might in fact drive him away, and every morning that there wasn’t an e-mail from him, sometimes before I’d even logged on, I feared I might never hear from him again.”
“That’s really odd ball Kodi, I mean how many e-mails do you send him in a day?”
“Sometimes two, sometimes eight, just depends on what we’re talking about.”
“Well what do you talk about?” asked Marli.
“Anything and everything, books, ideas, ideals, life, imagination, history, tomorrow, whatever.”
“Books? And this guy has never asked you to, well, you know?”
“No Marli, I don’t know, what do you mean?”
“He’s never asked you to cyber with him?”
“No Marli, gosh no, he’s not like that and neither am I.”
“I’ve cybered on the net, it’s kind of fun.”
“How can that be fun? No, don’t tell me, but not everyone is after sex Marli.”
“So what other reason would there be for a guy to speak to some girl who sends him heaps of bollocky e-mails?”
“My e-mails aren’t bollocky, well maybe some of them are, but that’s life Marli, a lot of what you and I say to each other is bollocky, take for example your assertion that Voh has got to be some creep in order to put up with me.”
“WELL WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KODI?”
Kodi was taken by surprise by her sister’s reaction and suspected she’d made a mistake trying to be honest and straightforward with Marli, from that point on she knew it as a certainty.
“Honesty, Kodi, remember, just like Voh, be honest with her.” “I’m not some lower form of life, Marli. I’m not someone you can treat like a doormat. If you’re going to bite at me you gotta expect that I’m going to bite back.”
“You just can’t handle the truth, and you’re jealous, you always have been. I’m prettier than you are, smarter than you are and I always have been. Why do you think you got sent packing and not me? It’s not your fault; it’s just the way it is you know? And I don’t hold your jealousy against you, you’re my sister.”
“Marli, we’re identical, how can you be any prettier than me, or I much different to you?” Kodi could not believe what she was hearing and it all felt surreal. Marli really believed everything she was saying to her, she really believed she was something better than Kodi, better than anyone else was.
Chas and Ruby had made comments about Marli to Kodi, but initially she had looked at them and said, “That’s my sister you’re speaking about, I’d tread really carefully if I were you.” Ruby and Chas had backed away from the subject, but once Kodi’s eyes began to slowly open to her sister, Chas and Ruby had encouraged her to distance herself from Marli. Chas believed Marli to be dangerous but he never directly voiced his suspicion, and he disliked Marli intensely leaving Kodi caught smack dab in the middle.
Marli viewed Chas as some dirty fag, some creepy little guy who probably hung out at parks after dark trying to find dirty old men to do the deed with, despite the fact she’d known he was in a relationship with Xaan. Often she’d said to Kodi, “Don’t expect me to be able to eat around him, he disgusts me. Fags are sick, you have to be absolutely twisted in the head to want to have sex with someone who is the same sex as you. And you know what Kodi, the weirdest thing about fags and dykes?”
“I know I’m not going to like this.” Kodi had impatiently asked, “What?”
“Well fags hate women right, you know you couldn’t pay them to have sex with a woman, but then they behave like women. Then dykes, they hate men yet they go all butch and act like wannabe men, I mean what the hell is that all about then?”
“I don’t know,” said an exasperated Kodi, but she did have to admit that on a certain level, perhaps not the crass level Marli had stooped to, but on some level what Marli said actually was true.
“It’s almost like they become the very thing they despise,” Marli looked at Kodi for a rebuttal, an opinion, anything, “a response Kodi Madison?”
“I don’t really know what to say Marli, I suppose to a certain degree you might be right, but Chas is my friend and he will always be my friend no matter what his sexual orientation is.”
The conversation died a natural death at that point. But when Marli had asserted on a second occasion that she was beautiful and smart, and that Kodi was merely jealous of her, Kodi had responded with a sharp, “What the hell…?” and had stared at Marli questioningly.
Marli cut her off, “And you fill your head with such complete and utter crap, Romanovs, Rasputin, Edgar Allan what’s his face and Wuthering Heights, and you know you do. But do you know why you do it? Well I’ll tell you. You do it because you know you can’t succeed outside in the real world, you can’t even cope in the real world, you never have. You write your stories and you’ve had a couple published, so what? I can write too, better than you can. Truth be known Kodi, I just choose not to. I’m the smart twin Kodi and the pretty one, I got the looks and the brains.”
“What? What do you mean I can’t succeed or cope in the real world?” Kodi raised her voice a little, enough for Marli to pick that she had upset her twin.
“Remember when we were kids and you crawled into that cupboard and got yourself stuck?”
That was NOT the way Kodi remembered it happening, but anyway she replied, “So?”
“When I asked how you got out, you gave me some real fancy schmancy story about some tall good looking man opening the cupboard and letting you out. You were so convincing you had stepfather dearest hunting around the property looking for him.”
“I hardly remember that, Marli,” Kodi said, lying through her teeth.
“Well whatever, you’ve always lived in a fantasy world, Kodi, always going on about being followed by someone, and then there was the wind giant, remember the wind giant? I mean I know that even after you were taken away that for years you kept talking about your imaginary friend, you know the one with the dark hair and the brown eyes? What did you reckon he’d done that time? Oh yeah, you reckoned he had tripped you up by the road near old Martha and Matthew’s house, remember them? She died not long after you were taken away and she’s buried in that old cemetery up by the highway.”
“Are you finished yet?” asked Kodi, becoming so angry that she could barely speak. “How can she be so mean? So I had an imaginary friend, so what, don’t a lot of kids have imaginary friends? Not when they’re fourteen Kodi, no they don’t,” she’d sat there thinking to herself at the time.
“Not yet, I might as well get it out in the open eh, Kodi? That way there’s no secrets between us. Did you know that you got kicked out of heaps of homes because you kept insisting that you could see that man?”
“Yes, but Martha saw him too, I heard her talking to him that day when I was in her kitchen,” said Kodi, confused by the fact that Martha had seen him too.
“She had a degenerative brain disease, Kodi, she was seeing fluffy pink rabbits too and elephants charging down her street wearing gumboots for crying out loud. I know they were going to put you in the loony bin too because they came and asked mum if there was any history of mental illness in our family, and she said no. Well no one can say that anymore can they? Maybe they should have locked you away in a padded cell because from what I’m hearing from you now, nothing’s changed?” Marli smiled at Kodi satisfied she’d proved her point.
Kodi sat there staring at her twin, wanting to just smash her conceited face in. But at that moment in time, in usual Kodi Madison style, she’d returned to her conversation about Voh, convinced she could get Marli to see it for the special thing it was. She felt assured inside herself that Voh was neutral ground where no harm could occur. She was also attempting to steer their conversation away from the ugliness that threatened to take it over.
“Often I have questioned myself about how Voh has become so important to me so quickly too, so I understand your reluctance to believe he’s for real. I don’t understand what’s happening inside myself at all and some days it scares me to think about how much I have come to look forward to hearing from him.”
“Perhaps it’s because you don’t have any friends,” offered Marli teasingly. Marli was good at that, saying really hurtful things to people in a way in which they couldn’t tell if she was being serious or playfully teasing, but Kodi knew better, even by then.
“I have plenty of friends.”
“What you think those people I met over the past few days actually like you? They don’t like you Kodi, especially that bird Ruby, she can’t stand you.”
“Well the way I exist on pretence with them, never really revealing the real Kodi, that probably doesn’t help. Yet Voh, he saw the real me pretty quickly and he recognized me immediately, and he still liked me anyway, so I can’t be all that bad. He perks me up when I’m feeling down and he explains things in a way that makes sense.”
“Listen to yourself, Kodi, oh my god you really do live in a little fantasy world. The guy wants to do you, all guys want to do the girl, and they never want to get to know the mind. It is in fact preferable to men that a woman doesn’t even have a mind of her own. It’s all about looks Kodi, when you don’t have them, and this guy Voh probably knows that you don’t, well sorry to say, but you’re just a cheap thrill.”
“You’re a real bitch sometimes, Marli, do you know that?”
“Because I tell it like it is? Well get used to it, Kodi, I’m never going to try to build you up to feel like something that you’re not, so if that makes me a bitch then fine, I’m a bitch.”
“You can’t stand the thought that there is a guy out there who is really interested in me as opposed to being interested merely in becoming the master of the domain that lies between my thighs. He likes me Marli, ME, not what he can get from me or out of me, he likes ME.”
“Dream away, Kodi, dream away.”
That had been the climate pretty much of every conversation Kodi ever had with her sister, and it had never ever improved. It really seemed to stick in Marli’s gut that Kodi had a relationship with someone that seemed so special. More importantly, it irked Marli because it was the one relationship in Kodi’s life that was safe from her prying eyes and her meddlesome habits. She couldn’t touch the relationship with Voh, she couldn’t take it from Kodi, and the hate for Kodi burned inside her like an inferno. The fact that a man somewhere viewed Kodi as something special when she was nothing but a piece of gutter trash swam around in Marli’s mind like poison. She wanted to put the guy straight, she wanted to tell him what Kodi Madison really was.
The baby situation hadn’t helped improve the relationship between the twins. Kodi and Marli had become pregnant within weeks of each other. Marli was pregnant to George Papadopolis, everyone knew that, but Kodi’s pregnancy had occurred a little more secretively. Somewhere somehow Kodi Madison had met with someone and that was when she had gotten pregnant, trouble was that none of her friends or even Marli could pin point an actual time that that had occurred.
“What man does that anyway, letting someone like Kodi Madison have his baby?”
Marli was extremely unhappy that Kodi had left her out of that loop, and then the rumours had started. Maybe John had fathered the baby, or maybe it was Chas? Could it have been Toby or Eddie, maybe even Gary?
“It definitely wasn’t John,” commented Kate, “she hates John and wouldn’t touch him with a forty foot barge pole!”
No one seemed sure who had fathered Kodi’s baby. But then somehow for some reason or another, someone somewhere got it into their head that George was the father of Kodi’s baby too, but the rumour never came to Kodi’s attention.
Marli eventually became consumed with bitterness about George because he had really taken a shine to her twin when it was herself she had wanted him to take a shine to. No matter how much she had tried to belittle her twin in the eyes of George, it just seemed to strengthen his resolve to ask questions about her. Marli knew that in George’s eyes she could not compare to the wonderful Kodi, no matter what she did or what she said, and it stuck in Marli’s gut.
She had even been a secret witness to the almost fight between the brothers when George had wanted their publishing firm to pick up Kodi’s new book. Frank had said no, Marli thought, because he could see that Kodi lacked talent. But she’d later found out that Frank was concerned about the long-term ties it could forge between Marli and his family if they were to connect themselves to the other twin in any way shape or form.
George had assured Frank that he could control Marli, and that Kodi’s book was so good he was almost certain it would be a winner. In the end, mostly because he loved his brother, Frank had given in to George and said, “Okay, get someone on it then, but don’t blame me when the shit hits the fan, and mark my words, it will.”
Heathcliff was sitting on the porch picking seeds out of a sunflower and putting them in a jar, while also sharing them with Lenore and Albion when he showed up. As soon as he saw the funny little man with the strange looking face, he knew something was going on. He watched him tie his horse to the fence and then walk across the lawn past the birdbath toward him.
“Why doesn’t he just drive a car like the rest of us? Still stuck in 1856, I don’t know. What does he want with me? Some disaster must have befallen someone for him to come here this early in the day. Maybe he knows I went there, maybe he’s here to admonish me for my inappropriate behaviour? But how could he know, not even my brother saw me there?”
“Lovely day for it,” he called out. He stopped, backtracked and rinsed his fingers in the birdbath. He scrubbed one side of his hands and then the other, because he couldn’t stand dirt in any shape or form.
“That remains to be seen. And I really wish you wouldn’t do that, Ed. The birds have got to drink that water. I mean would you want to drink water that they have washed their feet and beaks in?”
“Tut, tut my good fellow.” The funny looking man approached the porch. “And will I be rewarded for my visit with a cup of tea?”
“Well, I guess that will depend on the purpose of your visit.” Heathcliff continued to pick the seeds out from the flower and drop them into the jar. He was almost finished with the flower he had in his hands and he decided to make Ed wait for his cup of tea until he was done. Besides, he knew what Ed was there for. “If he’s not here to admonish me, then he is here about her. And I am going to have to sit here and pretend like I know nothing is amiss. I hate deception. I abhor it and yet here I am faced with pulling off the biggest act of deception that I have ever undertaken. Sitting here feigning shock, pretence of horror, yet that’s not so hard to pull off. I am shocked and I am horrified, despite what I have seen in that world. I am shocked and horrified that one human being can be so cruel and cold to others.” Heathcliff sat there a while longer, thinking upon his current predicament.
“Is that for Troy?” Ed stared at the almost filled jar, while at the same time noticing Heathcliff was miles away deep in thought.
Heathcliff shook his head and looked over at Ed. “Beg your pardon? I missed what you said.”
“I asked if those flower seeds are for your younger brother?” Edgar twisted his fingers around each other, as he spoke. His nerves were threatening to get the better of him.
Heathcliff nodded his head and smiled. “Perceptive, Ed. Yes, and perhaps you would be so kind as to give this to my brother for me? That way he’ll stop ransacking my garden to get a hold of them? And again, what is the purpose of your visit to me on such a fine day?” Heathcliff popped a seed into his mouth and began to chew it between his front teeth. Heathcliff knew Ed had an ulterior motive for being there, because despite having a few things in common, Heathcliff found it difficult to relate to the man. They rarely had anything to say to each other at all. Heathcliff just sat there waiting for Ed to lay it on him.
“We got a weird one.” Ed's nerves betray him, as evident by the shake in his voice. “Came in 72 hours ago.”
“Well that’s a surprise, who got it?” Heathcliff began to play with a tuft of cotton on the swing seat and then reminded himself not to do that because only nervous people fiddled. “If I sit here messing with tufts of cotton he will know for certain that I have something to hide.” He then moved his leg over the piece of cotton so that he would not be tempted to resume fiddling. “Well?” Heathcliff stare at Ed. He had heard the shake in his voice, but pitied him none. He began to scuff his foot on the wooden crate beside the swing seat and did not look up from what he was doing. He was completely unsurprised by Ed's news, in fact, he was sick of it.
Ed spoke quietly and deliberately. “It was Saul, but he couldn’t be there, he had something else to do. Someone else went over, but it all went wrong.”
As soon as Heathcliff heard that he looked up at Ed. “Oh don’t you look at me like that, Ed, because I know what’s coming next! I told you, straightforward I’ll consider, but the kooky stuff? Give it to Troy. He’s good with weird.”
Ed sighed. “It’s never really straightforward. You know that and anyway it can’t be Troy, he’s the one who went over first when it screwed up. It has to be you.”
Heathcliff stood up from the porch swing and began to walk inside the house and so Ed followed him. “But I thought you said Saul got it?”
As Ed went through the lounge, he spied the green bird in the cage, “Nice bird, where’d you find him?” Ed stared at the cage, thinking to himself that the bird should be outside flying around free.
“It landed on the lawn one day a while back, couldn’t fly so that’s his new home.”
“Oh well that explains it. Rather exotic looking isn’t she?” Ed stuck his fingers through the bars of the cage.
“You were right the first time, he.”
“Oh do beg my pardon.”
“You didn’t answer my question. If Saul got the job, then why did Troy go?”
Ed clucked at the bird and replied casually, “Saul was busy so Troy had to go. It was always the backup plan that Troy would go if Saul couldn’t.”
Once the tea was made both men sat down at the dining room table, and Heathcliff looked at Ed. “So, Troy went over and it all went wrong and now you want me to go back and try to fix it?” Heathcliff stared hard at Ed. “Did my lovely mother put you up to this?”
“We had a meeting last night and…well it’s complicated.”
“Oh I just knew it! Mother is great at raising my hand to offer my services. I know I’m going to regret asking, but why is it any more complicated than anything else we deal with from time to time?” Heathcliff tapped his fingers on his cup and stared at Ed, waiting for an answer.
Ed bowed his head and uttered, barely above a whisper, “It’s, well, phew, it’s a two for one deal.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Heathcliff knew full well what it meant. Yet despite knowing what it meant, he highly suspected that the whole situation was going to become a trouble thing for him.
“It’s just that.” Ed tapped nervously on his teacup.
Then Heathcliff feigned surprised horror and shock at the realisation of what Ed meant. He ran his hand down his face and then leaned forward toward him, staring him in the eyes, “Is it…?”
“Yeah…it is…and the first one is here already, arrived pretty much straight away, as those types tend to do. ‘Tis the second one we’re having trouble with. She refused to come with Troy. She plain and simple told him she wouldn’t.”
Ed looked uncomfortable with Heathcliff’s discomfort at the thought of such a thing. Heathcliff felt bad because he knew he was making Ed feel worse and that reaction, in turn, allowed Heathcliff’s performance to be flawless.
“What? She just said no and Troy left it at that? Didn’t even try to change her mind?” Heathcliff was genuinely surprised to hear that part of the story.
“No, well what’s he supposed to say, Heathcliff? And anyway, she’s not your usual. She’s had contact with a helper earlier on in her life. That’s probably why she was so brazen.”
“Well I don’t really know anything about that, Ed. I’ve never had one refuse to come with me, but I’d at least try to talk some sense into them. I didn’t even realise they could just flat out refuse and that’s the end of it all.”
“Freewill, you know that can’t be interfered with, and anyway, Troy didn’t get a chance. She went with them and now she’s, well she’s…”
Heathcliff was appalled to hear that part of the story too. He had assumed everything would pan out, given a few days. He had thought that the funeral would be the turning point for her. “In room 1215? I don’t want anything to do with this, Ed! I mean, you do what you’ve got to do, but just don’t involve me.”
“Yeah, well it’s not that simple, Heathcliff. As much as you don’t want anything to do with this, well.” Ed sipped on his tea and tried to avoid eye contact with him. “It’s not the end of it. It’s not over, not by a long shot.”
“So the little one?” Heathcliff dreaded, every second he waited, that Ed was going to say something that he wasn’t going to like. He hated the idea that he was sitting there out and out lying to Ed, pretending to be shocked, and he was wondering if Ed was even yet aware that he was lying to him? But he needn’t have worried; Ed was completely oblivious to Heathcliff’s deception and oblivious to what he’d been up to. The grandfather clock began to chime the hour, filling the void of silence with a sound that made Ed’s silence seem more ominous.
“What about the little one?” Ed still avoided eye contact, as the grandfather clock chimed for the last time.
“Where is it?” Heathcliff then nodded his head, as the answer to his question dawned on him. “Of course, my mother has it doesn’t she?”
“You know your mother.”
“How old is it? And where’s it going to go? I mean, my mother can’t do it forever?” Heathcliff fiddled with the handle on his cup.
“Well, I can’t say exactly, and that thing about your mother is not technically true, but she shouldn’t. When we talked last night, we decided that it would…um…it would come to you.” Ed spoke the last piece very quickly and slightly muffled his voice, as he said it. He looked very nervous and he had reason to feel ill at ease.
“Are you serious? No way, Ed. I DON’T WANT IT!” Heathcliff spoke rather forcefully. “I do birds, cats, dogs even, but I don’t do those. No…sorry! No way! Find someone else.” Heathcliff stared at Ed, determined not to be suckered into doing anything that he didn’t want to do.
“There are huge problems with this one, Heathcliff. Things I can’t go into right now, and because it’s not something we’ve ever dealt with before, we need your help too.” Ed hoped beyond hope that Heathcliff would just accept he had been allocated a role in the current situation, whether he wanted it or not, but he knew Heathcliff was no push over.
“You still haven’t explained what any of this has to do with me, or why Troy can’t deal with it?”
“It’s complicated, it’s…” Ed didn’t get to say another word.
Heathcliff decided to let Ed off the hook with the next part of the news. “Her isn’t it? Well, you certainly have your work cut out for you. That girl has always run from one bad situation straight into the arms of another. I don’t think I have enough fingers to count the times I pulled stunts to get her backside out of danger and she most certainly has the scars to prove it.”
Truthfully, Heathcliff felt a deep empathy for the girl, but he wasn’t about to buy back into a situation he had washed his hands of a long time ago.
Heathcliff paused for a moment and then looked at Ed. “I’m not doing it, Ed. Send Troy back again. Do whatever you have to do, but I’m not doing it, not after last time."
“I can’t persuade you otherwise?” Ed hoped to change his mind, knowing it’d be a cold day in hell first.
Heathcliff shook his head at Ed. “No, you cannot change my mind on this one.”
“But you’re still getting the other.”
“I told you I don’t want it, Ed.”
Ed shook his head, placed his cup on the saucer and asserted, “That’s too bad, because it’s already been decided by Andrew. Your mother will help you. She’s quite excited about the whole thing actually.”
“I don’t want…”
But he was cut off, as Ed stood up from the table and briskly left the house, in order that he no longer entertain the young man’s stubbornness. Heathcliff followed him out as far as the porch, determined to make Ed accept that he would not be taking responsibility for anything.
Ed knew he’d change his mind when he saw it, they always did, and he would be no different. In fact, he was even less immune to it than most, because as much as he liked to portray himself as the ogre, everyone who knew him saw him as the gentle lamb that he really was.
Heathcliff stood there on the porch staring at his dog and his cat. “What am I going to do with a little baby?”
“Oh and your mother is expecting you tomorrow morning 10.00 sharp, so don’t keep her waiting,” called Ed, as he mounted his horse.
Ed thought to himself, as he rode off down Heathcliff’s driveway, “Yes, the last time was tough for you and perhaps it had been unfair of the group to expect you to carry the whole burden by yourself? Andrew, I hope you know what you are doing.”
It was decided later that day that they would send Troy back again that afternoon instead to see whether she might change her mind about staying there. The funeral might be a good place for him to approach her and maybe they’d be able to rope Heathcliff in along the way somewhere? But the little one? That was Heathcliff’s. Of that fact, there was no escape.

He drove slowly up the driveway, keeping a careful eye out for the little one. Inside himself, he was dreading what may be sitting in the car with him by the time he left. “I hope its at least able to sit up,” he said out loud. “I can’t believe I even came here. What am I, stupid? Obviously I am. I’m here, aren’t I? But I can’t believe I’m subjecting myself to this! All I have to do is say no! Capitals N and O, NO! Like my mother is going to let me say no! I love her dearly, but she has a way of stealing your ability to say no. In fact, 'no' is not a word you use with my mother. Oh come on, Heathcliff! She’s only your mother! You can say no to your own mother. You just stare her straight in the eyes and gently but firmly say, "no, mother." Should I tell Troy I was there yesterday? Should I tell him what I saw, what I heard, or should I just keep my mouth shut? It’s bad enough I have deceived Ed, should I deceive my brother too? And this baby, her baby, I should just refuse to take it.”
But Heathcliff knew that he wouldn’t say no, not to a child. He never could, because he was a sucker for helpless little mini adults. He really had a heart for children and that was contrary to fulfilling his desire to be thought of as an ogre. “I’m a pathetic pushover,” he mumbled to himself.
He parked the car and walked slowly in the back door, and as soon as the little boy saw him, he ran up to him calling, “Heafkiff, Heafkiff.” He launched himself into the man’s arms. Heathcliff adored little Tay and he felt a certain degree of guilt where the boy was concerned as well.
“Hey, little man, how are you?” Heathcliff cuddled Tay tightly.
Tay showered his face with kisses that he hardly believed he deserved. But that little boy sure did have a special place in his heart, and besides that, he had her eyes, and he was ever the gentle little reminder that she had once existed too. Every time he saw Tay, Heathcliff was reminded that it hadn’t been just some dream, it had actually happened to him. It was mostly a joy to see Tay, but joy tinged with the slightest sprinkling of sadness.
“Nanny, Nanny, Heafkiff’s here. Naaaaaaaaaaaaanny,” the little boy called. But there was no answer from nanny, and Heathcliff knew precisely the reason why.
“I think, little Tay, that your Nanny is hiding from Heafkiff.” Heathcliff tickled his nephew under the chin and noticed Tay’s father standing in the lounge staring out of the window.
“So, brother, how are you?” Tay tickled him under the chin in return.
Troy stood there silently still gazing out of the window.
“Are you okay? Troy?” Heathcliff gingerly approached him.
Troy remained silent and just continued to gaze out of the window, as if he’d said nothing at all. Heathcliff placed little Tay on the floor and told him to go see if he could find where Nanny was hiding. “That bad?”
Troy turned around and faced his elder brother. “I managed to get the little one, but not the other, and…well that’s going to be a problem, a huge problem. She refused to come with me, Heathcliff.”
“Ed mentioned something to me about that, wanted me to go over there and give it a go.” He ran his hand through his dark hair.
Troy stared back out the window and quietly asked, “And you’re going to go, right? I’ve tried twice and gotten nothing for my trouble.”
“Oh, I’m going over there alright, but I’m not going there for her, Troy. I have other things I have to do over there connected with the situation, but I’m not having anything to do with her directly.”
“So what am I supposed to do, Heathcliff?” Troy turned to stare at his brother again.
Heathcliff shook his head in exasperation. “Little brother, you go over there, you get her and you bring her back. It’s all very simple.”
“Like, like…”
“ABCs.” Heathcliff broke in over top of his brother.
“No, Heathcliff. It’s not simple. She doesn’t know. I told her I was coming back for her, but when she refused to come with me, she went with them. I saw her again yesterday and she didn’t even see me, except very fleetingly.”
Heathcliff looked confused. “How can she not know, Troy? Perhaps she went with them because…”
“It was sudden…” said Troy by way of explanation.
Heathcliff rolled his eyes. “Troy it usually is…”
Troy stared back out of the window and said in monotone, “Yeah, but it was also gruesome…and there’s complicated ties.”
“Ed told me about that, but I still don’t see the problem Troy. Go there, tell her, grab her by the arm and start walking across the…”
“Oh yeah and what of her free will, Heathcliff? What of that?” Troy turned to stare at his brother, who was taking a complicated situation and making it seem so simple.
Heathcliff looked him in the eye. “Troy, sometimes you’ve just got to take control and be a little more…”
“No, Heathcliff. When they are half of a whole, it leaves much room for confusion. She’s got her memories all screwed up, and she has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Heathcliff, it’s her.”
“I know that.” Heathcliff raised his eyebrows at his brother who was by then staring down at the floor, and then added, “but nothing you can’t handle, right?”
“How can you be so calm? You’ve known her since she was born!” Troy stared back at his brother
“I relinquished her years ago, you know that. I haven’t a clue what’s been going on with her to any great degree.”
“Well, I don’t know how you can switch it off like that. But anyway, I have complicated things even further, because I was seen.”
“By her? She’s supposed to see you.”
“No, Heathcliff. As I said, she saw me briefly, as she fainted yesterday, but she doesn’t even remember seeing me to begin with, let alone after. It was one of the others that saw me, a blonde woman. I spoke to her and…”
“You spoke to her?” asked a very surprised Heathcliff.
Troy gazed back out the window, in an effort to hide his embarrassment at having made, what seemed to him, to be, a mistake. “Well not like intentionally. I thought no one could see me and she had this ferocious nose bleed. I looked into her eyes and I asked her what was wrong with her, you know ? Metaphorically speaking?”
“And?” Heathcliff was eager to get to the point of the conversation.
Troy rubbed his chin with his hand, “She answered. Well, she asked me what I’d said to her.”
“Is that all? That’s nothing to worry about. It’s happened to me before too. Gives you a bit of a start though doesn’t it?” Heathcliff laughed and nudged Troy with his elbow, as he stood beside him at the window.
“It scared the crap out of me at first!” Troy looked briefly at Heathcliff.
“So what’s going to happen now?” Heathcliff stared out of the window, to see what was of such interest to Troy. All he could see was Tay’s little red trike on the grass.
“Mother and I are going over. There’s a chance she may actually see mother, because, well, you know? She’s a great fan of…”
“If you say it, I’ll hit you, Troy. I swear it, brother.”
“You’ve got to admit it though, Heathcliff, it’s pretty funny.”
“Perhaps from where you are standing it’s…”
Ems walked into the lounge and just stood there for a moment, watching her two sons discussing the current problem. Heathcliff stopped mid sentence, when he noticed the arrival of his mother in the room.
“Oh, Mother, there you are. Just the person I was looking for. So, how old is it? Can it sit yet?”
His mother looked slightly nervous. “Well no, Heathcliff. The child’s just a wee bit young for that yet. Best you come and see for yourself.”
Heathcliff looked at Troy. “You brought it back, am I going to like this?” Heathcliff still kept up the façade of not really knowing what was going on.
“Probably not.” Troy decided to go with him, to meet the child.
All the way down the hall to the room at the top of the house, Heathcliff felt anxious, because he had no idea what he was in for. His mother led him into the room and pointed to a crib.
Heathcliff initially just stared at the crib, but he could not see the baby from where he was standing. “Well, I knew it was going to be a little baby and not walking yet, but how fast has it grown since it got here?” After a few moments he moved forward and leaned in over the crib to take a look at it. “Oh my Lord!” he thought to himself. “that’s smaller than I imagined it would be.”
Then he turned his head to stare at his mother. “This isn’t a child.” He looked back down at the sleeping child. “This isn’t even a baby. It’s a premature infant. I’m not doing this! I’ll break it. And anyway, why does this line of work always fall to men? Why can’t these cases be allocated to women?”
“Oh, big brother, you are going where angels fear to tread, saying that to her, of all people,” Troy thought to himself. He almost cringed, when he saw Ems gaze upon Heathcliff with that warning look. He almost left the room when she said, “Over there it might be women’s work, Heathcliff, but don’t even try to bestow their crazy male logic on me, of all people. Over here it’s a whole different story and you know it. It’s not about women being better nurturers, or men being better disciplinarians. It’s all about who is right for which person, and YOU are the right one for this child.”
Troy tried to avoid staring at his brother at all, because he knew he’d not be able to stop himself from smiling. Troy found it amusing that his tiny mother could put any man, no matter his size, in his place with a mere few words, and Heathcliff was a big guy.
Heathcliff looked down into the crib again at the tiny face and he traced his finger across the minute fingers of the baby. The size of the baby alone terrified him, but he was impressed with the dark shock of hair the baby had for one so young.
“You’ll be fine son.” His mother spoke reassuringly.
“My hand alone is bigger than it’s face. I’ll drop it. I’ll…this…this…baby or infant…whatever you want to call it, doesn’t need a father, it needs a wet nurse.” He looked from his mother to his brother, back to his mother and then he looked back down on the infant. “How old is it?”
“It’s very young,” replied Troy.
Heathcliff sighed and looked sideways at his brother. “How young is very young?”
“It shouldn’t have been born for another two months,” said his mother.
“But it’ll be okay, Heathcliff,” said Troy. “It made the transition beautifully, no problem at all.”
He stared back down at the sleeping baby, then back up at his mother. “Say if I do agree to do this, and I’m not saying I will, what do I feed it?" Heathcliff looked down on the baby again. "Hey, little guy." He glanced back up at his mother. "I mean, it’s not like I can just give it a dirt box, some food on a saucer and it’ll take care of itself. This is major trouble.” He began wondering if it could, in fact, really be any worse than last time?
“Um, Heathcliff,” said Troy.
Heathcliff didn’t initially hear Troy. “A man can raise a baby boy, of course he can. Well, he can look after it anyway.” A curious smile spread across his face. Again, he traced the baby’s tiny fingers with his own. “So delicate and you look just like your mother did when she was little.” Heathcliff stared at the baby a little longer and then asked, “Has he been circumcised yet?”
“Ah, no, Heathcliff. You don’t circumcise…” Troy was cut off by his mother.
“Heathcliff, dear? It’s …not… a boy.”
Heathcliff stopped touching the baby’s fingers, stood completely upright and looked at his mother. “It’s a girl? What is a man supposed to do with a girl infant? I can’t raise a girl infant. I won’t. That’s it. Definitely finished! No way! I’m going home now, so find someone else. A girl is women’s work. A man has no business raising a little girl on his own.”
“It’ll only be for a short while, Heathcliff,” said Ems.
Heathcliff refused to listen and headed out of the room and down the hallway.
Troy followed him. “She’s your soul mate, Heathcliff.”
Heathcliff stopped and turned to face his brother. “That infant is not my soul mate! Are you insane, Troy? Have you gone mad?”
“Not the infant, Heathcliff, her.”
“I already lost my soul mate, you know that. No one has two soul mates, Troy, and even if they did, I don’t want it. She is a walking disaster. She always has been and she always will be, and besides that, she’s not even my type. Dark hair and green eyes, or were they blue? Maybe brown? I can’t even remember! Whatever! And anyway ,you can’t even get her to come here. And most of all, even if all of the above could be swept aside, one fact will remain the same, and that is that I’m not going through that again. Once was enough for me, thank you very much.”
His mother heard the stubborn tone and determination in her son’s voice, so she knew there was only one thing for it. She gently picked the baby up out of the crib. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’ll be in your father’s arms before you know it.” Emily slowly carried her down the hallway near to her two sons.
“Heathcliff, every now and then it happens, and if you want to be stubborn and reject your soul mate, then that’s fine. But this infant has to be with you.” With that, Emily placed the tiny baby in Heathcliff's arms.
Heathcliff tried to stop his mother dumping the baby in his arms, but in the end, he knew he was dicing with the very real possibility that the baby could be accidentally dropped, so he ceased fighting with it. He stared into the baby's tiny little face. “What do I do with this? She’s going to want dolls, dresses and to play tea parties.”
“That’s why we’ve kept Ed on so long,” said Troy, attempting to make light of the situation. Emily stifled a giggle at Troy’s joke.
“I don’t do dress up, tea parties, dollies, lipstick, makeup or any of that other stuff. I wouldn’t have the first clue.” Heathcliff held the baby out in front of him, like it was a dreaded disease that he might catch.
“I’m relieved to hear that, I can tell you,” said Troy, making yet another joke, but at Heathcliff’s expense that time.
“I’ll turn her into a tomboy, you know this mother and yet you insist I must have her? What will become of her, being raised by a man?”
Ems shook her head, and Troy broke into the conversation. “Mother can teach her to sew, knit and to sit nice, if that’s all you are worried about.”
“What am I going to do with her, mother?” Heathcliff ignored his brother, staring hard at Ems. He was still holding the baby out in front of him.
“The same thing as you will do, when the day comes that you’ve fathered your own child, and that child lays helpless before you, as this one does now.” The baby’s head was flopped to one side and Heathcliff’s head was on the same angle, as he stared at her. It was all Troy could do not to laugh.
“She’s so floppy, like a, like a…I don’t know what.”
“Heathcliff, son, don’t hold her like that. She’s very small and you need to keep her warm. Hold her close to you like this.” Ems helped Heathcliff to hold her in the crook of his arm against his front. “Giving her a name would be a grand start.” Emily stood there with her hands on her hips, staring at Heathcliff, who felt like he was sinking into quick sand, with every passing second.
Then Joe appeared out from the kitchen and carefully said, “What about calling her Alexi?”
“Heathcliff should give her a name, Joe, not us.” Ems stared at her husband.
Joe continued to speak directly to his son. “Heathcliff, your mother and I always said if we ever had a girl that we’d give it that name. This seems a good opportunity to put the name to use.”
Heathcliff looked over at his father. “Alexi, yes, that’s a lovely strong name.” He stared down at the baby again, feeling absolutely daunted at the prospect of being totally responsible for her.
Ems stared at her son and sensed his anguish. In an effort to comfort him, she put her arm around his shoulders, which she had to stand on tip toes to achieve. “Oh come on, Heathcliff, chin up. I’ll help you, you won’t be doing this alone.”
Heathcliff stared down at his mother and she smiled the smile she always used, when she wanted one of her children to bend to her will. It was a look that oozed charm, but also issued a challenge that neither himself, nor Troy, had ever been brave enough to rise to. He’d seen it so many times in his life and he’d also learned that there was no point to arguing with her.
“Fine, but when she breaks you’ll have no one to blame but yourself!” Heathcliff stared at his mother, father and brother, completely exasperated. He began to make his way to the door and out toward his car, while the three adults watched him.
“Heafkiff got a baby,” observed little Tay, as Heathcliff made his way past him on the steps.
“No, little Tay. Heafkiff got a rock around his neck,” he said, as he kept walking. His words were intended for the adults, not the child.
“I’ll bring over everything you’re going to need a little later, Heathcliff,” his mother called out behind him. “Troy, take this bottle and those napkins out to him for now.” Ems tried to hand the things to Troy.
“No way! He’s not happy. You take them to him.” Troy pushed them back toward her.
“You are both chickens! I’ll take them out to him.” Joe took the things from Ems and followed Heathcliff out to his car.
Heathcliff took one look at the bottle and the napkins. As he took them from his father, he said, “Great.” He carefully placed the child on the front seat of the car and drove home.
All the way home, Alexi lay quietly on the front seat and she seemed, to Heathcliff, to be very alert, for a little one who should not even be outside of her mother’s womb yet.
“You’re pretty cute, and if you’re nearly half the trouble your mother was, then you are going to be a handful.” He stared down at her, while at the same time glancing up to the road to watch for other travellers. As he glanced down at her again, he said, “I especially love your dark hair. Lucky you weren’t bald, or I would most certainly have left you with dragon lady back there.” Heathcliff laughed at his joke about his mother, but the little baby began to cry. Heathcliff felt terrible. “I was only kidding. I wouldn’t really have left you there. You’re my little princess now.” And as he said that, his heart practically missed a beat, because he realised the gravity of what he’d taken on. When he pulled into his driveway, he saw Ed and Saul walking past the birdbath, as they were leaving his property. Heathcliff got out of the car. “What are you two doing here?”
Ed tilted his hat at him. “Back from your mother’s already?”
Saul just looked at him, titled his hat. “Heathcliff.”
They both began to walk a little faster and it seemed, to Heathcliff, that both men were acting rather suspiciously.
“They’ve been in my garden, I bet they have and they’ve squashed flowers and they’re trying to make their get away before I spy the damage. Why don’t they just ask me?” He picked the tiny baby up off the car seat and walked her inside. By the time he got her into the house she was sleeping.
“I need to put you down somewhere. Where am I going to put you to sleep?”
He wandered down to his bedroom because he had decided to put her in his own bed, thinking he’d sort something more appropriate later. As he walked into his room, he discovered why Ed and Saul had been acting so suspiciously. In the corner, away from the windows, French doors and breeze, was a beautiful cradle. Heathcliff walked over to it and he immediately recognised his brother’s handy work. “Marvellous talent my brother has, but how did he know I’d need this?”
Heathcliff saw a piece of paper folded on the little pillow and when he picked it up he saw that it said, ‘Fit for a princess’. There was something else scrawled on the back but he didn’t read it. He smiled, put the note up on top of the draw, then placed the baby on her back and tucked her down nice and securely. He grabbed the note and went back out to the kitchen to make a coffee. As the jug boiled, he read the other side of the note.
"Heathcliff, do not sleep baby on her back. Always sleep her on her side, because she is small and if she is sick in her sleep, she might not turn her head and she could choke. Place a toy on the side she faces, so that way, when you put her to bed the next time, you will know to put her on the other side. Any other problems, call your mother."
“Typical, Saul! If I have any other problems call mother,” Heathcliff chuckled to himself, ran down to the room and gently placed the baby on her side. He stood there watching over her and spoke to her, as she slept. “I’m surprised Saul and Ed even knew what little they wrote in that note, Alexi. This is going to be a real barrel of laughs isn’t it? A fully grown man with a baby girl, this is madness.”
He stood there for a while longer, just watching the sleeping baby, watching her little chest rise and fall with each breath she took. As he watched her, he remembered watching the twins, when they were just a little older than her. Two little babies, completely identical in every way, well, except for one who had a birthmark at the top of her thigh on the inside of her leg. Hardly anything the world would ever become aware of. He remembered watching their little chests rise up and down with each breath they took, but it was never synchronised. One was always slightly ahead of the other, ahead because he knew which one had drawn breath first.
He’d watched them as they learned to crawl, again, not a synchronised event either, one learning at six months, the other not until she was almost twelve months old. Then there was learning to walk.
The first had walked at one year of age, the other not until she was almost two, and as the months had passed, he had noticed just how much stronger and healthier the first was than the second. She’d crawled first, walked first and she’d learned to talk first. She’d had the upper hand all the way along, right up until the day one had, unkindly, delivered the other unto to death. “And now here you are, little one. How odd, that you should be given to me.”
He gazed upon her a little longer. “What’s going on, little one? Where is all this going to?" Then he walked out of the room and put some music on the stereo. “If she’s anything like her mother, then she will appreciate this.”

Later that same evening, at his mother’s suggestion, Troy made a visit to Heathcliff, to see how the baby was settling in.
“I’m worried about him, Troy. He didn’t say a word to me, when I dropped her things off to him.”
“Don’t try to fool yourself, the baby’s fine. It’s Heathcliff you’re worried about.”
“Now, Troy, son, just humour your mother.” Joe smiled at his youngest son.
“Why don’t you go and check in on him, mother? Or are you worried Heathcliff will not be pleased to see you again so soon? Lumbering him with a newborn baby!”
“Well, I’ve been there once today. Besides, he’s not the only one who got lumbered with a newborn baby now, is he, Troy?”
“Well you know what, mother?”
“What, son?” Ems knew her son was about to let her have it.
“Heathcliff couldn’t do it and once Annie was gone, you should never have tried to make him. And now everyone is standing around waiting for him to do this by himself too. Oh yeah, mother ,while we’re on the subject, what’s going to happen to Alexi, if it all falls apart this time? Will I become a single father to two then? If I am, I don’t honestly know if I’m up for it.” Troy raised his voice at his mother, something Joe had forbid his boys to ever do.
The one time Heathcliff had tried it on, as a child, Joe had dealt with him swiftly and severely. Troy had witnessed the wordless reprimand Heathcliff had received from their father, and he had vowed never to make the same mistake.
“Hey, son?” Joe was determined to remind Troy of his place.
“Yes, father?” Troy knew he was about to get a warning.
“Remember who you are speaking to! That’s not your friend, your girlfriend or your brother. That’s your mother and you have respect for her at all times, no matter what! Understand?” “They might be beyond spanking, but no one’s beyond reprimand," thought Joe to himself, as he watched his youngest son verbally duking it out with Ems.
“Yes.” Troy knew he had upset his father.
“He’s alright, Joe. He’s just telling me how he feels, is all. Nothing wrong with expression.”
Ems had always been far more easy going with her boy’s behaviour and manners. They were essentially good kids and they had grown into fine young men, who were caring and responsible.
“Well, I would be a lot more comfortable if he lowered his voice and took the finger out of your face.” Joe shot Troy a disapproving look and walked out to the kitchen, leaving Troy and Ems to battle it out. He knew there was no point to getting onto the fray and trying to duke it out with his wife. So many times he had been warned about treading carefully between his sons and their mother.
“Troy, we have no reason to think this isn’t going to work out this time.” Emily touched Troy on his arm.
“Have you forgotten what happened when I went there? I have the baby but no mother, and to be absolutely truthful with you, I’m not entirely convinced we’re going to be able to get her either.” Troy placed his hand gently on his mother's.
“If Heathcliff comes on board, everything will be okay.”
“No, mother! You know exactly what we’re going to do. We’re going to plonk her next door to him and hope for the best. That’s our game plan. Not terribly smart, if you want to know my opinion.” Troy shook his head.
“Do you have a better one, Troy? If you do now would be the time to voice it?” Emily stared questioningly at Troy, who remained silent, for lack of a better strategy. “Okay, then that’s the plan. Now go and visit your brother. Make sure everything’s alright there. I love you, Troy.” Ems stood on the tips of her toes, to place a kiss on his cheek.
Troy left his mother’s house slightly miffed at her. Fortunately, he didn’t live far from Heathcliff and so it wasn’t really out of his way. All the way there he wondered how he was going to be able to make the visit seem casual and not at the express orders of their mother?
“Oh well, I probably would have called in anyway, because truth be known, I’m as curious as she is,” he said to himself.
When he got there, he gently tapped on the glass door and then proceeded to open it very quietly, but he needn’t have bothered. “Oh man, Heathcliff! What are you doing?”
“What?” Heathcliff wondered why his brother was only half way in the door when he had started.
“You’ve got Mozart playing, while she’s trying to sleep. It’s supposed to be quiet for babies. They need quiet to sleep.” Troy went straight over to the stereo and turned the music right down.
“Nonsense!” Heathcliff went over to the stereo and turned it up again. “The sooner she gets used to noise, the better. I’m NOT changing my life for this mini human that’s invaded my house. That was your problem with Tay! You got him used to total silence and the slightest thing woke him. It is far easier to replicate sound than it is to replicate silence.”
“Okay, thanks for the compliment.” Troy was about ready to turn around and walk straight out again.
“Oh, and speaking of babies, I bathed herm but I almost drowned her. No one warned me how wriggly they can be. I swear, it seemed as though she had ten legs and six arms, she moved so much. And scream? Anyone would have thought I was murdering her.”
The room fell silent for a moment and Heathcliff’s words hung in the air like knives hanging from strands of hair. Both brothers stood there, as though they were just waiting for the knives to come crashing down and pierce the hearts of them both.
“Bad choice of words. It’s just that nothing about a child as small as she is, is simple.”
“I would have thought you’d remember that from Tay?”
“Tay was a monster compared to her and besides that, Annie, well she.” Heathcliff trailed off mid sentence.
“Annie did all the bathing and caring for Tay, didn’t she?” Troy nodded, as he spoke.
“While he was still really small, yes she did. I was too scared to touch him. I thought he might break or I’d drop him or.”
Troy cut over the top of Heathcliff. “You were just scared. Nothing to be ashamed of, Heathcliff, so was I.”
Heathcliff stared at his brother, because Troy didn’t strike him as the type to be phased by much. “Big strong men like us being terrified of babies! Isn’t that weird?”
Troy shook his head. “I don’t know.” Heathcliff had annoyed him, with his little barb about expecting Tay to sleep in silence, as though he hadn’t known what he was doing, which he didn’t, but it wasn’t like he’d been given a choice.
Then Heathcliff realised he needed to restore some dignity to Troy. “I mean, when’s she going to be able to hold her head up, walk, talk, not make smelly napkins, not spit up everywhere and all those other disgusting things?” Heathcliff knew all the ages and stages well, but still, he indulged his brother the belief that he was floundering.
“Heathcliff, slow down, she wasn’t even meant to be born yet. You’re going to have to take things slow and don’t expect too much from her to begin with. You were like this too once you know, and me. She’s sleeping, so you’re obviously doing something right. And I guess poor little Tay cried non stop for the first three months that I had him because I wasn’t as wise as you.”
Heathcliff felt terrible that he’d made any mention of Troy’s parenting abilities because Troy had been a fantastic father to Tay. It was Heathcliff who had failed miserably, where the boy was concerned.
“I didn’t mean that, Troy. I’m sorry. It was kind of brutal wasn’t it, those first few months with him? You have been a good father to Tay, so much better than I was able to be. Every time I do something with Alexi, I think of Tay. I think about what I thrust upon you, when I abandoned him, and I’m sorry for doing that to you, Troy.”
“Yeah, but look at him now. He’s a wonderful little boy and I’d never be without him. I have no regrets about it, Heathcliff. I mean, I’m sorry it came to that for you, but it worked out okay in the end. And this little one can be a playmate for him when they are older, perhaps?”
Heathcliff smirked. “We’ll see. Make mother’s story come alive?” He disappeared into the kitchen.
Troy leaned over the little baby. “Goodness, no, Heathcliff! Would you honestly wish that on Tay and Alexi? And like she said, she didn’t really know anything much about love or life when she wrote it.”
“Yeah, I wonder how differently the story would have ended up, had she have been in love when she wrote it?”
“And then she names her first born son after her main character.” Troy chuckled, as he stared down on the baby.
“You say something, Troy?” called Heathcliff, knowing full well his brother was taking, yet another, very brave but cheap shot at his name. “I probably deserve that after the quip I made about his parenting skills with Tay.”
“Heathcliff, can you come in here please? I need to tell you something.”
Heathcliff came out of the kitchen and sat down at the table with his brother, who had parked himself beside the sleeping baby. “Oh by the way, thanks for the cradle. It’s beautiful.”
“You’re welcome, Heathcliff. I see she likes it too.”
“Who did the art work?”
“Kaleb did it for me. You know what my art work is like! She’d have ended up with little animals on it that no one would recognise, if I’d drawn them.”
“This took more than a few days to make, Troy, so how long ago did you start making it?”
“Saul told us we’d need it pretty much from the time she found out she was pregnant, except I didn’t know who it was for at the time. Then when I did find out it was her, I didn’t even know she was coming here. Just made it thinking it could be sent to wherever she was. Turns out I only had to have it delivered across the road, which is lucky for me, because it weighs a ton.”
“I know which delivery company you used.” Heathcliff smiled.
“You do, how?” Troy also smiled.
“Yeah, I saw the brothers Grimm walking out of here, as I got home this morning. They seemed not talkative and in a great hurry." Heathcliff chuckled.
“Yeah, those two sure are funny aren’t they? Couldn’t hide anything if their lives depended on it.” Troy laughed along with his brother.
“Just as well their lives never will then isn’t it? So who made the blankets?”
“Guess?” Troy raised his eyebrows at Heathcliff.
“Martha and mother? Maybe a few of the other book clubbers?”
“Martha’s handy work always stands out, doesn’t it?”
“So does mother’s. She’s a fabulous writer but a terrible seamstress. I love that she tried though.”
Troy tapped the table with his finger nervously. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“So long as it has nothing to do with her." Heathcliff sensed an awkward conversation was about to be had.
“Has nothing to do with her, Heathcliff.” Troy tapped his finger again.
“Okay, what have you done, Troy?” Heathcliff ran his hand over the head end of the crib feeling the smoothness of the wood.
“Well, you know how I told you I spoke to Ruby?” Troy stared at the baby, as she slept, so that he wouldn’t have to make eye contact with his brother.
“The blonde with the wacky eyes?” Heathcliff looked up from the cradle.
“The blonde one who saw me at the house after the funeral, you know her?”
“I’ve seen her a few times. She’s had a couple of close calls along the way.”
“But how did you know it was her I spoke to?”
Heathcliff shook his head; “Just a guess is all.”
“That wasn’t a guess Heathcliff, how do you know that the blonde I spoke to was Ruby?”
“Okay so I followed you.” Heathcliff spoke quietly, but he didn’t tell Troy that it wasn’t the first time he had followed him.
“You what? You followed me, why?” Troy was mystified as to why he would do that.
“I was curious, I ah…I wanted to see her.”
“You wanted to seer her?” Troy was amused by Heathcliff’s explanation, “but you don’t want anything to do with her.”
“I followed you, I had a look around, I saw Ruby, I left, no big deal.”
“Okay, if you say so. So how do you know anything about Ruby?”
“I was her helper for a long time and then when the whole Annie thing went down, Saul took over, and then of course as you know, you took over.”
“And Ruby’s had troubles all along?” Troy was interested in finding out everything his brother knew about her.
“Yes.” Heathcliff picked up a wicker rattle that had been made for Alexi by one of their friends. As he flicked the rattle between his fingers he thought about all the people who had dropped in over the afternoon delivering gifts of this and that and the other for the new baby. It was just as they had done for Tay when he had arrived. “The celebration of new life knows no bounds here,” he thought to himself.
“Hello Heathcliff, like when?” Troy was very curious.
“Sorry…like when what?” Heathcliff was confused, having lost any thread of the conversation.
“When did Ruby have troubles?”
“Oh, um, when she was being carried, when she was born, when she was ten months old, three years old, four years old, twelve. Tell you what, you pick a year and I’ll give you an incident,” Heathcliff stared straight at his brother as he placed the rattle at the feet of the sleeping child.
“It’s been that bad for her? I never imagined it had been like that, she’s really talked about things in the time I have been watching her, but I thought maybe she was making things up, and it’s all been a bit of a mystery really.”
“Her father was Cagill, Reverend Cagill, remember him?” Heathcliff stared at Troy.
“She mentioned her father was a minister, but I honestly didn’t realise it was him. He led that big church that marched against the homosexual law reform bill a few years back didn’t he?”
“Yeah, he opposed homosexuality but was rather fond of child rape, and then there’s his son Chas who is, as you know…”
Troy cut over the top of Heathcliff, “That homosexual guy is Ruby’s brother? Wow, the good reverend Cagill must have hated that, his own son, can you even begin to imagine that?”
“Raping his own daughter, can you imagine that?” Heathcliff asked as he nodded his head toward Alexi.
“Well it’s not that I don’t find what he did to Ruby horrific, I do, it’s just that the whole family situation is bizarre to say the least.”
“Families over there, who can say what people are thinking when they do things?”
“So you knew he attacked Ruby?”
“He raped and beat her more than once Troy, and I was there when he beat her within inches of her life too when she was twelve, if not for Chas, who knows?”
“She said something about that to me when I spoke to her.”
“You didn’t really speak to her at any length Troy, or did you?”
“I spent a couple of hours with her Heathcliff, I told her some of what may lay ahead for her. She asked about her mother, she wants to know what happened to her, do you know?”
“Why did you do that, why did you talk to her?”
“It felt right, she’s messed up, really messed up. So what do you know about her mother?”
“I don’t know what happened to her mother, and I’m not going to tell you who does, that way when Ruby asks, you can honestly say that you do not know.”
“She’s the one, Heathcliff, she’s my soul mate, isn’t that weird? The second I started speaking to her I just knew, did you feel that with Annie?” Troy spoke deliberately slowly and quietly.
“It’s weird, Troy, but as soon as I saw her I thought that she was, but the longer I was with her, well let’s just say I was scared of being dropped into fatherhood so suddenly and unexpectedly, yet I put the fear down to nerves you know? Never having been with a woman before, well not like that in any case. But I sometimes wonder if we got it wrong with Annie, I mean we probably didn’t get it wrong with her, just every now and then I have wondered, totally in retrospect of course.”
“Could we have it wrong with Ruby?”
“No Troy, definitely not, she’s the one for you, she’s quirky like you, funny, very loving and the whole thing fits like a hand in a glove.”
“How long have you known she was for me?”
“I’ve known that for a long time Troy, do you know when she’s coming?”
“I don’t know, if she doesn’t stop sniffing the white powder I fear it may be sooner than it’s supposed to be.”
“It’s coke, Troy.” Heathcliff nodded his head, as he spoke.
“Now I know you’re not talking Coca Cola are you?”
“No, cocaine, it’s a drug, it’s a bad drug, Troy, I’ve seen what it does to people, and the things they’ll do to get a hold of it as well. Some of the things don’t bear mentioning, and the way it alters their lives. I was supposed to watch over this guy once and…” Heathcliff stopped speaking and stared at his younger brother. Then he thought about Ruby and he thought to himself, “There’s just some things you don’t need to hear, Troy, especially since she is going to be with you very soon.”
“And?” asked Troy staring at Heathcliff, eager to hear what he had to say.
“Oh, I was just going off at a tangent in getting to the point that sometimes, because that drug changes their conscious state, well they can see us.”
“I know, I know that’s part the reason she saw me, but she’s not long for that world if she doesn’t stop. She’s having terrible nose bleeds and I can’t help but think…”
“That’s usually a fair indication that they’re pretty much getting to the home straight, but you DID encourage her to stop anyway didn’t you, Troy?”
“Of course I did.” Troy sighed. “She’s so messed up though you know? I just thought she’d be different.”
“In what way?” Heathcliff leaned over the bassinet and touched the sleeping baby’s hair. “Isn’t she just the cutest baby?”
“Yeah she’s a sweet little thing. And as for my soul mate, well I just thought she’d be some clean cut straight forward girl.”
“Seems to me you’re getting that world’s ideals confused with ours, Troy. I mean do you want someone who’s never had to develop a backbone, a survival instinct. Do you want someone who loves easily, Troy, is that it?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t you see how amazing it is that Ruby still has hope? Even after everything that has been done to her by people in that world she still possesses the ability to love. It’s easy to love once Troy, maybe even twice, but Ruby has spent her entire life trying to believe the best in people, always prepared to try just one more time. Can you even begin to comprehend just how much she’s going to be able to love when you love her back? Can you imagine the depth of the loyalty that kind of reciprocal love can inspire in one such as Ruby? The true depth of that love, Troy, it’s immense. It’s all very well for women to be straight forward and virginal, but often it’s not always the mix that makes the best match for us.”
“Anyway, what’s wrong with a woman being a virgin?” asked Troy sheepishly.
“Well, if she’s not a virgin then she’s probably got a clue or two which means you’re not going to have to go through the drama of teaching her anything about, well you know what I mean. But, and in the favour of virgins, they aren’t usually hung up on whether a man is circumcised or not and how big you are and all that other stuff.”
“Women worry about that kind of thing? Do you think it’s going to bother Ruby that I’m circumcised? Is she going to think I’m…?”
“Probably not, they usually prefer it and as for size, don’t worry about it, hardly ever gets questioned at all.” Heathcliff coughed as he said the last bit, partially because he was embarrassed that he’d even brought it into the conversation.
“Why do they worry about circumcision or otherwise?”
“I don’t know why, I’ve never asked, maybe you can ask Ruby when you, well you know, seeing as how she’s probably going to be the one doing the teaching,” said Heathcliff with a slight laugh to his voice.
“Teaching me about sex?”
“Well I suppose that’s not necessarily so Troy.”
“Heathcliff, I’m a virgin and I’ve never done anything remotely like that.”
“I know, and although it’s slightly different for us guys and generally we can bluff our way through it, there are things that Ruby’s going to tell you that might actually surprise you.”
“Like what?”
“Well you know where it goes right, you know how you might get her to let you get there, but there’s more to it then just that. Troy, I can’t continue this conversation with you, but just be thankful Ruby’s not a virgin because sex with a virgin female, oh man, talk to Taite sometime.”
“I’m not scared of sex, Heathcliff, I’m looking forward to that part of my life with Ruby, and…well…anyway...do women really get all hung up about men being circumcised or not? ”
“You and Ruby will be fine, Troy, trust me. It’ll all fall in place just as it is meant to.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Heathcliff, was Annie bothered that you’re circumcised?”
“Troy, you shouldn’t be asking me questions like that…it’s…”
“You’re my brother, I should be able to ask you anything.”
“Fine,” said Heathcliff sighing heavily. “No, Annie was pleased that I was circumcised, are you happy now? Becoming one with another human being in the flesh is something that no one can describe adequately with words, it changes you, inside, it changes who you are, what you think, how you feel, it’s… I can’t even find the words to describe what I mean…and I guess that was one of the hard parts about letting go of Annie, knowing it was never going to come around again, she was it. Anyway, just don’t get all hung up on Ruby not being a virgin and all that, it’s not the be all and end all, that’s all I meant to say and I have no idea how we wandered so far into intimacy.” Heathcliff shook his head because he was slightly embarrassed by having a conversation of that nature with his brother. They were close as brothers, but in adulthood their conversations had never strayed so closely as to come within a hare’s breath of sexual intimacy with women.
“I’m not complaining, Heathcliff, I find nothing wrong with Ruby, I love her already and I can’t wait for her to arrive here, I just, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. But I want her to be able to enjoy the life she has left there before she gets here, it pains me to think of her suffering you know?”
“Yeah I think I know what you’re trying to say.” Heathcliff nodded his head.
“It’s not that I think Ruby is tarnished, it’s just it’s difficult watching how people treat her over there, they have no respect for girls like Ruby you know?”
“She’s got people watching out for her, Troy. People over there who genuinely care what happens to her.”
“Like who?”
“Well there’s Chas, and a couple of others that would come as a complete shock and surprise to you, but whatever.”
“Why did it have to be this way for her? Why is it this way for anyone? I mean that world takes innocence and it twists it into unrecognisable form you know?” Troy felt saddened by what the world was capable of reducing people to.
“And no one knows that better than Kaleb eh?”
“Yeah I know and what happened there makes this pale in comparison, but still I can’t help but wonder why Ruby’s whole life has been like this?”
“Well it wasn’t meant to be the way it is, Troy. Ruby had no control over that, people set her down that path through what they did to her.”
“And neither does she I guess, and I don’t believe Annie was it. This girl is your second chance Heathcliff, your chance to make a new life, a new love, a new oneness with another human being. You said it yourself, Heathcliff, you had doubts about Annie, maybe we all made a mistake, maybe it was supposed to be Alexi’s mother who was meant to be with you all along, it certainly makes sense,” Troy offered ever so cautiously.
“You leave her out of this, Troy! She is an entirely different matter altogether. There are no comparisons that can be made between her and Annie. Annie was everything and that girl is nothing to me, nothing and she never will be. End of story.”
“Okay, let’s leave Annie out of this then…in what…”
“Yeah let’s do that, Troy, because that girl hasn’t even got a spark of what Annie had.” Heathcliff was becoming irritated.
Troy noted the anger in Heathcliff’s voice and wondered what on earth was going to happen if Heathcliff held onto his stubborn refusal to even try with the girl? But he thought that getting Heathcliff to at least talk to him about her was better than nothing at all because while he was talking about her, at least she was on his mind.
“In what way is she any different to Ruby?”
“Well for a start, she’s stopped trying, she stopped trying to make any real emotional connection with anyone, she’s existed so long now on pretence that she probably doesn’t even realise she does it.’
“But she’s tried with her sister.”
“Yeah she has, she’s tried with the one person she should have steered clear of and she’s held everyone else at bay. She doesn’t trust anyone, Troy, and people who stop trusting; well they might as well stop existing. Aside from that, there’s other issues I’m having trouble wrapping my head around.”
“Like what?”
“Between you and me?” Heathcliff stared at his brother and for a flickering of an instant he thought about how much he resembled their temple elder Diego. Heathcliff shook that thought from his mind.
“And the lamp post,” said Troy making Heathcliff smile…they didn’t have lampposts in their neck of the woods.
“I watched over her for years, Troy, I saw her being born and I watched her grow up. I probably know her better than she knows herself and now she’s supposedly my soul mate? That’s some kind of weird don’t you think?”
“Well yeah I suppose, but you know what they say, there’s some things we’re just not meant to understand. I mean for all you know everything that has passed has been known since the beginning of time, and so there was a reason you were meant to be so close to her for so long?”
“What kind of reason?” he asked staring at his younger brother intently waiting for the pearl of wisdom to yet again escape his lips.
“I don’t know, Heathcliff.”
Heathcliff was disappointed but somehow unsurprised by Troy’s answer. “Anyway, like I said before, she’s untrusting so her actual chances of crossing are reasonably poor from that aspect alone.”
“That’s not fair, Heathcliff, she hasn’t exactly been given a whole bunch of good reasons for trusting anyone lately has she?”
“Maybe not, but that’s exactly what Annie did, she stopped trusting and then disaster struck not far behind it. This one will be no different, and that’s why I don’t want anything to do with it, and that’s why I don’t want to talk about her.” Heathcliff gave Troy the, ‘This subject is now closed’ look, but Troy was not about to kowtow to Heathcliff so easily.
“I don’t think she’s as distrusting as you think she is, she has friends, she’s been involved with other people she has a…”
Heathcliff cut Troy off, “I said I didn’t want to talk about her and that’s the end of it ,Troy.”
“If you say so,” Troy also ran his fingers over the sleeping baby’s dark mane of hair, “feels just like silk when they’re that little.”
“I do.” Heathcliff stared at the sleeping baby. “We’re both saps, you know that don’t you? Both suckers for a cute little face.”
“An attribute I place squarely at the feet of our mother." Troy smiled.
“Oh yeah. Was she okay when you left?” Heathcliff noticed again how much Troy resembled Diego. Perhaps it is the look he's giving me? It stands to reason he might mimicked Diego to some extent, he spent enough time around him. It's weird how we do that, pick up other people's idiosyncrasies along the way."
“I think she’s a little worried you’re mad at her, and I’m certainly going to have to front up with flowers tomorrow and a huge apology.” Troy thought Heathcliff seemed miles away.
“Why what did you do?”
“I snapped at her, and father wasn’t too happy with me either. But if I placate mother it will placate him.”
“I told Alexi that mother is a dragon lady,” said Heathcliff laughing.
“Anyway,” said Troy ignoring what Heathcliff had said. “I gave Ruby Father’s ‘copy of a copy’ speech, you know, to make her feel better?” Troy stared sheepishly at his brother.
“Oh you didn’t?” Heathcliff laughed.
“I did.”
“And she stayed conscious for the whole thing?”
“Yeah, but she was kind of getting a bit sleepy on it,” Troy laughed.
“I’m going out there to finish making coffee assuming you still want it?”
“Yeah Heathcliff, that’d be good. Do you think I shouldn’t have spoken to her?”
“Nah, she probably won’t remember it anyway Troy, or she’ll think it was some hallucination from the coke,” he called from the kitchen.
Troy suddenly became very serious as he watched the sleeping baby, and continued to stroke her hair, “Heathcliff?”
Heathcliff was still making coffee and he called out, “What?”
“I want this baby to have her mother, I want her to make it here, I don’t want another failure. It’s bad enough that I have to explain all of this to Tay sometime in the future, I don’t want for her to have to hear it too.”
“I felt bad that it fell to you Troy, and I felt miserably selfish doing that to you, but you have made him a very good father, and who knows, this may yet fall to mother. When are you going back over to see…well… her?” he asked as he walked back into the lounge.
“I told you earlier Heathcliff mother and I are going over tomorrow, maybe follow her for while see if we can find an opening to get her out here at least.”
“Oh, so you did, I’d forgotten. But um where are you going to put her if you manage to get her here?”
Troy just looked at him, “Oh no you don’t, no way, I did my bit taking this little infant...this little Alexi…baby…child thing…I’m not having one of ‘them’ living next door.”
“Well it’s decided, Heathcliff, and won’t be changed, besides, you’ve got a whole paddock between you.”
“If you think that I’m going to welcome her here you are mistaken, I will discourage her at every turn.”
“And you lecture me about Ruby, perhaps brother you should take some of your own advice?”
“It’s not the same thing Troy and you know it.”
“Fine by me Heathcliff, but it’s only you that’s going to suffer, she doesn’t know what’s going on, and this tiny little girl is oblivious. Anyway I have to go, get home and read my son a story before bed, thanks for the coffee.”
“You didn’t even drink it.”
“Never mind, next time.” Troy headed out the door before they could get into a conversation that might lead to serious conflict, “And thanks for the baby,” he heard Heathcliff call out after him, his voice thick with sarcasm.
But Troy knew that given a few weeks, his elder brother would be deeply and irreversibly in love with that little girl. If it was possible for it to come to it, and if he actually could, Troy knew that Heathcliff would lay his life down for her…so long as she continued to sleep well.

After he had read to his son and Tay was sleeping peacefully, Troy thought back to the night he’d been given Tay. There had been the most ferocious storm, thunder, lightning and driving rain. The wind had knocked over a few trees and there were sticks and debris everywhere. Heathcliff had walked across the road in the driving rain, through the trees and up onto the porch. The first Troy had known of his presence was when he’d heard Heathcliff banging on the door yelling for Troy to come out.
When Troy had appeared on the porch, a soaking wet and distressed Heathcliff had dumped Tay into his arms, the child was shrieking, and Heathcliff had stumbled off into the night. No one saw him for many months after that, and by the time he surfaced he wouldn’t talk to anyone, just went reclusive. Sure he still did his ‘job’ when called upon, but he’d returned a changed man. He went over there, and escorted whoever needed to be escorted through transition, but other than that he really didn’t have a lot to do with anyone.
Heathcliff’s mother Ems had been distressed at the way life had in fact imitated art, well in an odd kind of way, how so much like the character Heathcliff her eldest son could be. She’d been quite afraid that Heathcliff would remain sad and withdrawn for the rest of his life, but then Saul had come over with good news. Well, news that would eventually be good.
Initially news like that was something everyone dreaded, but all they could do was make the best of a bad situation. Making the best of that bad situation was where the good news occurred.
“She’s a match for one of your boys Ems,” said the smiling Saul.
“Please tell me it’s Troy and not Heathcliff, because if it’s Heathcliff we’re going to have our work cut out for us Saul. I seriously doubt he’ll entertain the idea for a split second.”
“Well, Ems, Joe, it is Heathcliff, but it might be a little easier on him because I believe Troy’s match is due to arrive soon too, within the next few months, maybe sooner.”
“What guarantee do we have that it’s not going to be a disaster like last time?” asked Joe.
“I took her over from Heathcliff a while back, and I will be the one to go and get her. But she won’t be alone, she has a little one that will also be coming.”
“Accident?” asked Joe.
“What if there’s problems with her crossing Saul?” asked Ems.
“We’ll send Heathcliff if I run into bother, but I don’t expect there to be problems, there’s certainly no indication that there will be. She’ll want to be wherever the little one goes, they all do,” said Saul confidently.
“So is it an accident or not Saul? You know that the answer can make a huge difference as to whether there’s likely to be problems.” Joe was as concerned for his son as Ems was; he didn’t want a repeat performance of the last time either.
“I cannot say, you know I am not allowed to give you any details. But all things going well they’ll arrive and we can thrust them together here.” With that said, Saul had gone on his way.
Saul possessed a poker face, which was just as well because the situation had all the hallmarks of a case that would be anything but straightforward. Everyone was working really hard trying to set things up so that there would be few problems.
Saul had tried to get Heathcliff to agree to go over in the first place because that was the way it was supposed to be, but Heathcliff simply flat refused. Even Ed and Joe had gone to him and tried to talk sense into him, but he didn’t want to know about it. So in the end it had fallen to Saul, and as a back up there was Troy who had had to ready himself to go over there too.
A lot of work went into the preparation for anyone’s transition. In this cases such as the potential situation with Kodi, the helper had to be brought up to speed with exactly what was going on, who the friends were, what signs to watch for in regards to nervousness. Just in case there was unwillingness on the part of the person to follow due to fear, nervous ticks might alert the helper to the fear before it got too bad. The helper would be made aware of people they needed to be wary of, people that may be of assistance and a back up plan was always there too, but they seldom ever needed to resort to back ups.
Troy had been cued; if the baby is first then he was to bring it to Ems and to return back for the mother. If she was first then he would return for the baby. So long as everyone followed the game plan then all would be well, but this case would teach them all just how powerless they really were when it came to freewill.

Being born in 1818, Ems had grown up in a strange era in comparison to her two children, in fact Ems grew up in a totally different world to her children. Her mother had died while she was very young and so she had only her father for parental guidance. Haworth in the bleak West Riding of Yorkshire was an isolated little village, her father, an Anglican minister had taken a position there in the parish. By this time Ems had also lost two older sisters and so her relationship with her remaining siblings had been intensely intimate.
Her father had educated them all, although Emily had gone away for a spell to a boarding school where she had become terribly depressed and lonely, so she’d returned home again. Her father always encouraged his children to read widely and prolifically, so Ems had found much comfort from the worlds that existed inside books.
In her early adult life she began her novel, and although it was received with much eagerness and attention, Ems had merely moved her sadness from her life to the inside of a book. Children losing one or both parents, unrequited love, soul mates finding soul mates, losing soul mates, sadness and devastation. She would love to have written something more pleasant, but she could only write what she knew, and bleakness and sadness was what she knew. Her death at the age 30 had been the final insult to the life of Ems, and at the time she had not wanted to go, she was not ready.
For approximately six months after her death she had remained in her home with her family, but she knew she had died because she had attended the funeral and watched her family mourn her supposed passing. Her father had wept constantly for around two weeks after her passing and Ems had felt such empathy for him. He had endured so much loss and she had attempted to comfort him but instead managed to freak him out when she accidentally knocked a vase to the floor. Her father had stood there staring at the broken vase for what seemed like forever, and he looked toward the window. “Perhaps,” Ems thought to herself, “he thinks the wind blew it off the stand?”
But she could tell from the look on her father’s face that he knew it wasn’t a sharp breeze that had knocked it down, the window wasn’t even open. He then bent down and began to slowly pick the pieces up one by one, and each piece he looked at very carefully.
Once Ems realised she had caused the vase to fall, she had tried contacting them, making her presence felt, but she couldn’t ever get through because she knew she shouldn’t be there. All she could do was watch how life had continued to move on quite the same without her. But that falling vase haunted her father for many years.
Not long after that vase incident ‘he’ showed up. Ems was sitting outside one day when a rather portly man wearing a black suit and a top hat had walked up the path beside the house near to where she was sitting. He had spoken to her, “Good day to you madam,” and tipped his hat, but she had assumed he was speaking to someone else because no one could see her. Then he had addressed her by name, “Excuse me Miss. Emily,” he’d said, “begging your pardon Madam, my name is Saul Anderson.”
“You’re talking to me?” she’d asked slightly confused. “You can see me?”
“Well of course I can see you Madam,” Saul had chuckled.
“Sir, I find your manner rather impertinent, that you dare to laugh at me, Sir.”
“You may find my manner as impertinent as you wish Miss. Emily, however it does not change the fact before us that I can see you.”
“But I’m dead, Sir.”
“Well to this world, Miss. Emily, but fear not young lady for this is merely one world, there is much more in this universe than one world.”
“What, Sir, is it that you require of me?”
“May we walk together, Miss. Emily?”
Ems had gone out to walk with the gentleman Saul Anderson as she sensed he meant her no harm, and that was when she began to realise she needed to move along.
“You know that all is not well with you, Miss. Emily, the fainting spells, they are getting worse are they not?”
“Yes of late they have been of a more severe nature. Mr. Anderson, I believe I may have seen you before or am I mistaken?”
“No, Miss. Emily, you are not mistaken in the least, I have been watching you from time to time for many years, and I have spoken to you before this day. Why just last week under the Willow tree over there,” he said as he pointed off into the distance, “do you not recall?”
Emily thought back to the last week when she had been sitting under the tree and, “Why yes, now that you speak of it I do remember someone speaking to me, but I fainted.”
“You are running out of time, Miss. Emily, I must beseech you to come with me forthwith to the place that awaits you.”
“May I inquire as to what awaits me, Mr. Anderson?” Emily had fearfully asked.
“Inquire away, but I must say to you, Miss. Emily, that you have nothing to fear. ‘Tis a good place that awaits you, Miss. Emily, a place where the things you desired in this life will come to fruition.”
“What exactly do you mean, Mr. Anderson?”
“In this place you will find the soul mate you have yearned for all your life, beyond that I cannot say what awaits you for it is not my function.”
“Are there many Ash trees there, Sir?”
“No, Miss. Emily, there is not one,” Saul smiled kindly at the young woman.
“What about my father, my siblings, what will become of them?”
“That I cannot say, Miss. Emily, there are things we are supposed to know, and things we are never supposed to know, but that’s why we have memory. Miss. Emily, everyone who ever meant anything to us, no matter that we may never see them again, they live on with us forever. What awaits you awaits them also, maybe not in the place you are destined to go, but they too will move on to life after life, because life never ceases for those deserving.”
“Are you an angel, did God send you?”
“No, Miss. Emily, I am not an angel, I am simply a helper, and how do you think I knew to come and collect you Miss. Emily?”
“So God is real?”
“Why of course God is real, Miss. Emily, God is everywhere, all around us and He watches all we do, but God is not the ogre He has been portrayed to be, to the contrary, Miss. Emily, He is a most loving God who delights in all of us. He intended that this world would be a beautiful place for us to be, that we would love each other and want the best for each other, but it just didn’t work out that way. We have ravaged this world with wars, plagues, disease, and hate, why the greatest vice of man has become malice. This world was designed in such a way by the hand of God that there should never have been hunger, wars, sickness and all the other terrible scourges that are apparent in this place. The place to where you are destined is the world God intended this place to be.”
“So it’s Heaven?”
“Well, that entirely depends upon your concept of Heaven, but, Miss. Emily?”
“Yes.”
“I wouldn’t count on sitting around on fluffy little clouds playing a harp all day.”
“Goodness that’s just as well, I never learned.”
Saul Anderson chuckled, took her by the hand and led her to the carriage awaiting her outside the gate. Emily turned to take one last look at the home she had lived in for the most part of her life, “They are going to be all right, Mr. Anderson?”
“They are going to be very well, Miss. Emily, if not here then definitely after they leave. Do not be sad now, remember you have them in your memory and your memory will always be kind.”
Emily had been helped into the carriage and she had made her departure from the sad and dreary village of Haworth, and she had come here, to this beautiful place.
The first thing Emily had noticed was that time did not seem to progress in the same way as it had in the other world, although she’d had her sons when she was relatively older, when compared to the other world, it was not older by the same measure.
It seemed her boys were children for a very long time, but she had enjoyed their childhood, and even as adults, they were still her children. Being that they had been born on this side, they were able to be helpers, those who went over to the other side to bring people to their eternal home. People like Joe and her were rarely involved in the initial process, no their role kicked in once the new arrivals were here, and only with those who had not yet fully made the transition. They were able to comfort those who were fearful because they could relate to that fear in the first person, and although helpers were able to feel empathy toward the person suffering, they did not have the same understanding of fear in the sense of the other world.
Once in a blue moon things went wrong, it was a rare occurrence, only twice it had ever happened, but nonetheless, when it went wrong it was devastating for those involved.
Transition was a tricky thing.
Sometimes people didn’t need help at all, and other times people needed convincing, others, (depending on what started their transition process in the first place) may well not even realise that they are supposed to be transitioning at all. That was when it became dangerous because no one knew how long a person was able to live in that strange kind of limbo, thinking they’re in that world when they were supposed to be in this one. There didn’t seem to be a set rule, and it seemed to vary from person to person, however the longer they remained ‘incognito’ so to speak, the more dangerous it became.
In two previous cases it had been deadly and the result was that the two people involved (though both separate incidences) had ceased to exist, not in that world nor this one, and that was what had happened to Heathcliff’s first soul mate Annie.
No one could say what may have happened had Annie actually transitioned, when it didn’t happen it was generally accepted, despite the grief experienced by everyone at the loss, that perhaps it probably wasn’t meant to be. But her child, a baby boy had been brought over smoothly and been entrusted to Heathcliff in anticipation of Annie’s transition. When it didn’t happen, Heathcliff had been devastated because they’d worked with her for over a year before they’d run out of time, and he had grown to love her very much.
He had fallen into great despair at the loss of Annie.
Em and Joe had been quite surprised in the differences between their boy’s temperament. Physically they looked very much alike, but that was where the similarities ended.
Troy was athletic like Joe, very much enjoyed being outdoors fishing, riding horses, swimming in the river and he was a great runner and builder of things. He was happy go lucky, never prone to fits of darkness or flights of fancy; he was just a very even keeled person.
Heathcliff was a thinker with an incredible imagination, he was slightly introverted, but not excessively so. But he was not the type to sit and talk with just anyone, and if he did it was either deeply complex or just a glaze over the usual every day happenings. He concerned himself with writing books, growing sunflowers and caring for small animals.
This world was the balanced eco-system it had been intended the last world would be, everything depended on the other things around it, and that kept the balance. There was no crowding; people in too closer proximity to each other, and life was pretty much lived in the same way as it had been in the other world, except that this world functioned as was originally intended.
For example there was no killing of animals for food, animals were friends, pets, they could be used to source milk, wool and other such things, but mainly their life was one of companionship with humans. There was no money, there was no need for it, the soil was rich and provided all that they needed, and people toiled away at that which they desired most to toil away at.
Everything that was achieved by someone was appreciated by someone else, even silly little gestures like filling a jar with sunflower seeds, as Heathcliff did for Troy. Although this kind act was more of a strategy Heathcliff had employed to keep his beautiful sunflowers, well, beautiful. Troy had no real depth of appreciation for the flower itself, not that he was outwardly callous, but his appreciation was outworked in that he adored eating the seeds. Heathcliff would despair every time Troy walked into the garden and crushed the small sunflowers with his feet to get to the big ones.
Troy on the other hand greatly enjoyed working with wood and his creativity knew no bounds. Heathcliff could imagine nothing more frustrating than trying to build things, so he had little appreciation for the process, but the finished product left him in awe of his brother’s talent. Balance, that was the key to this place, gentle but critical balance.
In the other world, people had created this image of what they thought Heaven to be, perhaps they held visions of sitting around pool side drinking fruit cocktails and perhaps for some, there were places within this world where that kind of thing actually occurred? But whatever the existence one enjoyed, the people here were not immune to sadness, it just wasn’t outworked in the same fashion as perhaps it would have been in the other world.
People had disagreements, sometimes people even had serious verbal confrontations, but the key was that they all knew how to forgive, so despite behaving sometimes in a negative fashion, they also possessed the ability to reconcile differences given time. In any event, a lot of sadness was avoided simply because they lived by the simple rules that had been given in the first place. Those same simple ideals that, had they been adhered to by all in the previous world, would have seen that world as the beautiful place it was intended to be.
There was a reason why you shouldn’t covet your neighbour’s things, there were good reasons why you should not steal, murder or drink to the point of drunkenness, all these laws, when broken, led to despair. When adhered to, life was beautiful.
And really, God had not been asking too much of His creation, but He had created people, not robots, and He could not stop them proceeding down the path of destruction if that was what they desired. All of the joys of the last world could be enjoyed here too, the joy of sliding into pool on a very hot day, and the joy of warming yourself by a fire in winter, the joy of drifting off into blissful sleep. People spent much time praising their creator, in that every sunrise and every sunset was appreciated by those living here, and it was a joy to their heart to see these things and a joy to God’s to see them happy. So this place was not unlike the other world in many ways.
Ems brought joy to God every time she marvelled at a new budding rose, every time she gazed in awe at her children, every time she stood in the warm rain, and every time she marvelled at the sound of thunder. Yes in every way these people gave glory to God in that they appreciated, respected and marvelled at all He had created for them. No, paradise was not sitting around on fluffy white clouds playing harps; paradise was living in a world that brought joy to them and God, as had been the original intent of creation in the first place.

“The writer’s dream is not what I thought it would be Harry, I’m so bored, and there’s heaps of places we could go exploring, so let’s go.”
It was on the third morning that she ventured out into the paddocks with Harry following closely behind her. At first she just wandered through the long grass thinking to herself, “Well this is really exciting!”
As she stared down into the long grass something caught her eye, “What are those Harry?”
She found there were many tiny little flowers growing down in between the blades of grass which was kind of weird as she had never seen anything like it before. They were tiny purple flowers, thousands of them, “How do they even grow when the sun can’t get at them?”
So intent on investigating the unusual little flowers was she, that she bent down to take a closer look. She picked a couple and found that they had the most beautiful scent and the scent lingered on her fingers, so she rubbed the little flowers on her arm and sat there enjoying the aroma. Kodi was so engrossed in what she was doing that she didn’t even hear him approaching.
He had seen her from the backyard as he was dropping birdseed around the birdbath for the birds. He was sure to make certain that the black fluffy fiend from across the way wasn’t lurking somewhere in the trees waiting to catch a free meal. From where he was standing he could see the dark haired girl bent down in the grass and he could see that she was making some strange kind of movement with her arms.
“Oh here we go, she’s finally infringing on my life. What the heck is she doing, and on my land? That’s it time to scare her off before anything gets out of hand. Alexi should be all right for five minutes. Albion, you keep an ear out for the little one.”
He jumped the fence, and even though the wire had squeaked as his weight was applied to it, she didn’t hear it. She seemed to be completely lost in whatever it was that she was fascinated with in the grass. That was when he saw what it was that she was doing. “Oh my gosh she’s rubbing the Sandanizta flowers on her arm, that’s going to give her a nice rash by tomorrow,” he chuckled to himself.
Once he reached where she was, she still remained unaware he was even there. As he stood there towering over her she still did not seem to notice him, so he coughed and then said, “What are you doing here?”
His voice gave her a fright. Her whole body jumped and she fell to one side, as she stared up into the face of a man. He was at least six foot three in height, from what she could tell, with very broad shoulders and his hair was long and dark, and his eyes were brown.
His eyes were beautiful, shaped in a way that oozed kindness and she’d noticed how quiet his voice was when he had spoken. He was gorgeous, perhaps an apparition in the mind of a lonely girl, or perhaps he was after all for real? “Oh he’s real alright,” she thought, as she stared at what appeared to be bird poop on his left shoulder. “No apparition has bird poop on their shoulder,” she thought to herself, as she stared up at him. He was staring straight back down at her waiting for her to respond. She was suddenly lost for words, “I…um…I." “Why didn’t I see or hear him approach me, I need to learn to pay more attention to what’s going on around me, and where’s Harry gotten to?”
The man smiled at her awkwardly and he seemed shy she thought, but then he became serious again. “This is my property, and …um…I don’t really encourage visitors. Is that your cat?” He stared off toward the fence where Harry was skulking around deciding whether to jump through or not.
She sat there for a moment just staring at him and she had half a mind to just look him straight in the eye and ask, “What cat?” But instead she bumbled out, “Ah…um…yeah…that’s ah…yup that’s Harry…my cat.”
The man looked annoyed and Kodi thought to herself, “The ‘what cat’ might have been the better answer to go with because I get the distinct impression Harry’s been up to something, but what?”
“Harry ate my budgie…yesterday,” he looked over at Harry and then looked back down at her.
Kodi stood up. “Okay so that confirms it Kodi, always go with your gut instinct,” she thought to herself and then she thought, “Oh no what am I supposed to say now?” Kodi bumbled forward again. “Oh…I’m um…really sorry…he ate…your…he ate your budgie?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said, my budgie Frank. Harry ate Frank, left me a pile of green feathers.”
“Then how do you know it was Harry?”
“When I went into the lounge Harry was sitting on the mat having just finished making a meal of Frank, and when he saw me he jumped out the window and ran off.”
Kodi got a mental picture in her head of Harry being caught by the man, giving him the ‘what’ look he was so good at and then making off out his window before he had time to catch him. It reminded her of the time her cat Tessa had eaten all her boyfriend’s mother’s expensive giant goldfish. Tessa had sat patiently on the side of the indoor rock garden fishbowl and systematically picked them off one by one. There had been no survivors. Something about the man made her feel uneasy, the way he could speak so sternly yet his eyes continued to ooze kindness. Her memories of the goldfish and her nervousness at his apparent displeasure with Harry threatened to cause her to laugh.
“I believe that is a slight smile on her face, how can she find the destruction of an animal funny? Perhaps it is a nervous reaction?” he asked himself.
She squeezed her face with one hand in order to not break out into a smile and said, “Oh, I’m um…I’m really sorry about…ah…Frank.” She stared at the man, and then she stared at the ground, and then looking up again she said, “Perhaps I could buy you a new budgie, you know to repla…”
“I think she does actually find this funny.” Heathcliff became annoyed with her. “What? You think money can buy me another Frank? How about I trap your Harry over there, wring his neck for eating Frank and then just buy you a new cat called Harry?” “They’re all the same, they think everything is replaceable and they just don’t understand. They cannot see that all of creation’s attention had been, at one moment, poured into a beautiful bird. No, it was just a bird to her, to all of them, a dime a dozen, nothing special and it annoys me intensely.”
That was when Kodi was completely cured of the overriding desire to smile at all. “I…um…I didn’t think that I could…”
“No, I don’t suppose your kind do think.” “Her kind? Good one, Heathcliff!” He was trying very hard to come across as unfriendly and uninviting of her attention, but at the same time he did not want to make her feel too badly and he knew he was making a hash job of things.
“My kind? What do you mean by my kind, what kind would I be then? And if you dare touch my cat I’ll…I’ll…” Kodi trailed off because she couldn’t think of anything that she at her size could do to someone his size.
Heathcliff just stood there staring down at her, and that was when he realised he towered over her and she might actually be feeling quite threatened by this towering angry strange man.
Kodi then said, “Look, I’m sorry we seem to have gotten off on the wrong….”
“FOOT? “ he boomed at her, which further served to set her ill at ease and also made her jump again.
“This guy is enormous, he could really hurt me if he wanted to, and there’s no one else around to help me if he tries. How far away from the fence am I? Could I get there faster than him if he tried to chase me?”
“Oh man I didn’t mean to yell that loud at her.”
“Why are you so angry at me?” “Man what is this guy’s problem?”
“Onward and upward Heathcliff, stick with the program, she’s not your problem," “You’re on my property uninvited and your cat ate my budgie, my anger’s not entirely uncalled for. Do you not have any respect for other people’s things?” his voice softened again.
“Look… fine, I’m really sorry about your budgie George…or.”
“Frank, his name was Frank!” Heathcliff felt himself building up to annoyance again. “Boy does this girl know how to push my buttons or what?”
“Who calls a budgie Frank anyway?” she snapped.
“Who calls a cat Harry?” he retorted with as much gusto.
“Fine! I’m leaving.” “Arrogant, so arrogant, oh I hate arrogance. He’s such a…such a…oh I can’t even think of a word!”
She began to walk away from him, backwards initially, so that she could keep an eye on where the strange man was.
“Good you keep on walking,” Heathcliff called. “Just let her walk away. Remember, Heathcliff, she could be really scared and you know what happens when she’s scared.”
Once she had put a reasonable distance between herself and him she called out, “I’m almost gone…see?” she yelled out again as she walked across the last piece of paddock and climbed the fence off his property… “See now I’m GONE altogether…nice meeting you too….” She half fell off the fence and added quietly, “ya prat!”
Heathcliff almost laughed, as he watched her foot slip off the wire and then saw her tumbling down onto the ground. “Classy,” he said to himself and then he called to her, “Don’t forget your murdering cat…Sam…AND STAY GONE!” Heathcliff kept an eye on her for a few seconds more. “Well that should be the end of that! Perhaps I should warn her about the flower? No, enjoy your rash, sweetie pie!”
“HARRY, HIS NAME IS HARRY!” she yelled back at him, giving him a one finger salute as she stared out at him.
“Yeah, yeah,” Heathcliff called out to her. He shook his head, smiled and began to walk back toward his house, “Bitch!” he said to himself, as he laughingly ran his hand through his dark long hair.
“Bastard!” She scooped Harry up in her arms and made her way back to the house. “Well that went well didn’t it?”
She plonked Harry on the floor and opened a tin of cat food to feed him, and she scratched her arm because it was very itchy. “We sure showed him didn’t we, Harry…I wonder what’s up his arse? So unfriendly, have you ever seen the likes of that before. I’m having a terrible thought Harry, but do you know what I think? I think he would have been a good match for Marli, and even though you should never speak ill of the dead, I think she’d have deserved him!”
She opened the freezer and took out a microwave dinner. “Yummy, junk in a box, oh well I suppose it beats your crap in a can, and macaroni is my favourite,” she said to Harry who couldn’t have cared less if he’d tried.
They ate dinner in silence and then Kodi retreated outside to the porch swing with the Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe and began to read the Pit and the Pendulum. As she began reading she became aware that her arm was getting itchier and itchier, so she scratched away at it.
She wondered to herself whether Voh had ever even bothered to read this particular Poe story, he’d read Lenore and Annabel Lee and had spoken of his own star crossed love, but the Pit and the Pendulum? Probably not.
“Oh man this story always sends me off to sleep.” Her eyes became heavy very quickly and she’d not yet ever managed to make it through the entire story. She fell asleep on the swing and remained there all night long with Harry at her feet.

When she awoke the blond haired blue eyed man was crouching beside the swing chair touching her hair and the trees were still burning and she could smell charred flesh. Suddenly she became aware that she was in great pain, and the pain was pounding on her forehead and she could feel blood trickling down her eyes making its way to her mouth.
Harry was hissing and spitting at the blond haired, blue eyed man, then Harry lashed out at him with his claws, much like Bruce had done to her leg on Mrs. Willis’s porch that day, and she realized she needed to get away from him.
She sat up properly and launched herself at him, but he just disappeared leaving her in a mess on the porch floor, so she got up and ran through the house into the bathroom to see why her head hurt so much and was bleeding. When she looked into the mirror she saw that there was a terrible wound,” and then she looked herself in the eye and screamed, “WAKE UP!”
She awoke just before dawn on the porch floor having fallen at some point during the night from the swing and she looked up over to the line of trees that had been burning, and they were there gently swaying in the night breeze. So she looked to the paddock for the trees that surrounded his house, they were not there again and she could see for miles over the paddocks to the mountains. She nervously rubbed her eyes and then looked out again and the trees were there as they should have been. The panic that had begun to well up inside her was quickly beaten back now that she could see that all was as it should be. Then her arm began itching really badly and she ended up having to hold it under cold water in an effort to get it to stop.
The day dawned bright and sunny and summer was definitely in full swing, and as she sat on the porch she heard the phone ring, so she went inside to answer it.
“Mrs. Willis, hello how are you?”
Harry sat on the floor staring at Kodi as she chatted away into the strange looking thing she was holding to her ear.
“Purple flowers? Oh, okay, thanks, Mrs. Willis.”
Kodi hung the phone up and stared down at Harry, “That was weird, she just called me to tell me that there’s little purple flowers in the grass but that I shouldn’t touch them. They make the air smell nice but they cause a terrible rash if you get too close to them. Apparently a baking soda paste will take the sting out of it and make it heal up really fast.”
Kodi did exactly what Mrs. Willis had told her to do, and she was right, the itching stopped immediately.
Later Kodi went out to sit on the porch swing with Harry, and while she was out there she saw her neighbour exit his driveway. She had no idea where he was going to, but Mrs. Willis had told her that the strange neighbour to the left often went away, sometimes for weeks at a time. He had peaked her curiosity the day before in the paddock even though he was exceptionally rude and unfriendly, though she hardly supposed Harry eating Frank had aided in winning her a new friend, well she didn’t want any new friends so what the hey! She looked down at him and said, “Harry, we’re going on an adventure.”
She walked across her back lawn and climbed the fence into the paddock that separated her place from his, and as she was climbing the fence she thought to herself, “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. What if he’s only gone for a drive to town? What if he comes back and catches me on his property? Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained.”
But she figured that even if he had only driven to town he would be gone at least an hour or two, so she proceeded on in her clandestine journey with Harry leaping over the grass at her feet. She felt like she had when she was a kid stealing apples and plums from the old man’s trees with her friends. They knew they shouldn’t be doing it and yet they still did because nothing tasted sweeter than a plum you’d gotten away with stealing.
She made her way across the paddock quickly and took cover under the large trees that surrounded his backyard, and her nervousness soon threatened to turn into a full-blown panic attack. She hadn’t even climbed the wire fence that was in the middle of the trees, the fence that separated his backyard from the paddock.
She felt her heart beginning to race madly inside her chest and suddenly everything around her began to swim. “Oh no Harry, not here…not now…” and so she sat down beneath the big trees and she began to concentrate on her breathing just like the book that sat beside her bed instructed one to do when faced with the horror of an unexpected panic attack.
“Unexpected, UNEXPECTED? They’re all unexpected Harry, Harry? Where are you?”
The paddock appeared to be warping so she began to concentrate on her breathing even more; “In so that my tummy expands, and out so that it deflates, slowly, deeply…Harry I think I can beat this one...”
But her mind was quickly removed from her breathing and the attack as she saw Harry launch himself through the trees on the other side of the fence and onto the lawn of her neighbour.
“Harry…Harry,” she hissed after him, “come back.”
But Harry was intent on chasing the little yellow bird that had stopped at the birdbath for a drink, “Oh God please don’t let that be another of his budgies,” she said out loud looking to the sky, as Harry grasped the poor creature with his claws.
Kodi felt herself go cold inside as she watched the little bird flap his wings. She felt even worse when she heard the little bird tweeting his sweet entreaty for mercy, but Harry wasn’t paying any attention. Kodi felt so sorry for the little bird and thought to herself, “This wouldn’t have happened if I’d just minded my own business and stayed on my side of the paddock.”
Then she had half a thought to try and rescue the little yellow bird, but by the time she had climbed the fence it was way too late. Then, as she watched Harry lay down on the grass to enjoy his little snack, she realized that she would have to risk crossing the lawn to fetch him. She did not wish to leave him there at the risk that ‘he’ might come back and wring his neck for sure. She crouched under the trees for a few minutes just pondering the wisdom of setting foot on his back lawn at all, but in the end she thought, “How unlucky could I be?”
So she crept across the lawn and seized Harry who held the bird in his mouth, and began to make her way back to the tree line, But she had second thoughts, and rather than just make her way back home.
“I’m here now, why not? Kodi, you know better than this, you’re not a kid anymore. But he’s not here so he’ll never know. Yeah but that doesn’t make it right Kodi.” “Shut up both of you,” she hissed.
She decided to explore the property of her neighbour. She experienced a sudden rush of panic as she reflected on what may happen if he really were to come back and catch her, but her curiosity was stronger than the sense of panic, so she continued on.
“Impulsive and reckless, that’s me and you eh Harry?” she asked the cat who was merely trying not to lose his hold on his yellow prize. As she passed by the birdbath she noticed how beautiful it was, and it looked like it was as old as time itself. It was white and appeared to be made of marble, and it was a cherub holding a bowl above it’s head, “Angelic,” Kodi thought to herself.
The first place she went to was the porch and she discovered that he had a porch swing, of course it was much bigger than hers, and made of wood, but still, she could imagine him sitting on it by himself on moonlit nights just as she did on hers. There were vines with purple flowers hanging down all around the porch and to her it seemed beautiful, “But the wasps would pretty soon cure me.”
There was a pair of work boots and some other bits and pieces in the corner of the porch, along with a broom and a spade. As she peeped through the window she noticed how tidy the inside of the house was, so tidy, and it was as if no one lived there, as though nothing had stirred there for years. Then she heard the tolling of a bell and initially it gave her a fright, but then she saw the beautiful grandfather clock in the corner and it looked very old.
There was a very old Mahogany desk with a computer on it and she thought that the computer looked very out of place in those surroundings. She saw that he had a stereo too and what appeared to be a reasonable collection of records, “Oh boy would I like to look through those to see what he’s got.”
The tidiness surprised her, as her experience of men had taught her that they were akin to little children who didn’t know the meaning of cleanliness. It was a surprise to her to see the antiques that filled the house, “he must be a collector she thought to herself,” and then she saw the birdcage, “Oh Harry, how could you?” she asked him as a giggle escaped her lips, “Poor Frank!”
She looked across to the opening that looked as though it led into the kitchen and she saw what she thought looked to be a baby’s bottle, “Perhaps he has a wife and children? Man that would be embarrassing being caught here by him and his wife. I should move this along already. You know Harry, this house reminds me a little bit of Mr. Gordon’s house. He lived down the road from one of the places I lived when I was a kid, well my friends and I used to spy on them because they never shut their curtains, not even at night. He had antiques just like this guy has, but he was nowhere near as tidy though. Him and his wife were into amateur theatre and they used to put on all these plays in another town near where I lived. I mean I never saw any of the plays, but once when we snuck into their studio I saw the written plays, and that was when I first thought about writing stories. Well not stories I suppose, just writing anything because I liked the way those plays looked so tidy written down on the paper that way. The ink black writing on that crisp white paper and it smelled so good. Of course he had to use a typewriter because there weren’t any computers around way back then, and it was probably the ink that made that cool smell. Actually that wasn’t all that long ago. Okay Harry, so now you know, your new mummy’s a snoop, she’s always been a snoop, but you know what Harry? It’s not that I’m bad, I just have this curiosity about other people and how they live, do you think I’m weird?”
Kodi looked down at Harry who was tucked under her arm still, and he just gazed back at her. Kodi laughed because he looked so silly with that yellow bird stuffed in his mouth. “Imagine if he came back right now Harry, right this second and caught me here with you with that yellow bird of his stuffed in your mouth, he’d spew tacks.”
She crept around to the side of the house where she came to some French doors that opened onto a deck in front of a fence, and inside the fence was a pool, beautifully clean and blue, invitingly blue, and she almost stripped right there and climbed into it.
“Oh man I’d like to get in there, Harry.” But she thought better of it, and instead began to creep past the French doors across the deck on her way over to the sunflower garden, but she tripped over a pot plant, which upended.
“Oops, hope it didn’t break,” she thought, as she watched the little yellow and blue pot roll about three feet away from where it had originally been placed. She wasn’t alarmed by her clumsiness and had supposed she’d pick it up on her way out.
Inside the French doors she saw his bed and it was huge, a four poster job, but she saw nothing on top of the duchesses to indicate he had a female living in the house with him. There were no wedding photos, just the usual male paraphernalia to be found in any male bedroom, except his was tidy. But the four poster bed was impressive, “Wow.”
“Did you know Harry that back in the old days they had canopies over their beds for health reasons not because they looked impressive? You didn’t know that? Well it was because way back in the good old days their ceilings used to be thatched and all sorts of animals would make their homes in the ceilings during winter because it was warm there. Unfortunately, sometimes the little animals would lose their footing and fall out of the roof down onto the people, and people do not like having mice or rats dropping down onto them during the night. So in order to curb the problem, they started putting canopies over the top of the bed to catch the rodents. Cool idea eh Harry? Except I shouldn’t imagine you’d complain about mice or rats falling into your basket during the night.”
Harry just wriggled around trying to get loose from under her arm. Kodi headed across the deck down onto the lawn and across to the sunflower garden. “Oh wow Harry look at this?”
The sun flower garden was enormous and she was impressed. She had always dreamed that one day she would paint the lower half of her bedroom wall purple and then staple fake sun flowers all around the wall, and on the upper part of the wall she’d paint it blue. The ceiling would have fluorescent stars and moons stuck to it so that during the night they’d glow and she’d feel as though she was sleeping under the stars. So many sunflowers she had never seen before, they stretched out right around the perimeter of his property about three quarters of the way around, and she loved sun flowers, they were her favourite. These sunflowers were really tall, some of them were taller than her, and she was in awe because it looked just like a postcard she had seen once, but even better than that.
“But sun flowers never grow for me and it’s almost like there’s some kind of unwritten law, no sunflowers shall grow for Kodi Madison. Because Harry, I have tried to grow these over and over again and they always, ALWAYS die.”
She had only just finished saying that to Harry when she heard a vehicle coming up the driveway. Panic seared through her body and her heart rate doubled in an instant, and as the panic coursed through her body, all she could think about was where to hide. She stood there on the grass not moving just staring at the tree line, all the while desperately trying to secure a safe place to ‘wait it out’.
The sunflower garden was her only choice, and so she shot through as far to the back of it as she could get. She sat there waiting and noticed that, unfortunately in her haste, she bent a few flowers in such a way that he would only be able to conclude someone had indeed been there.
She sat there waiting to be discovered, and her heart was beating so loud that it brought to mind Poe’s story of the Telltale Heart, would her heartbeat give her away, “Did Voh ever read THAT story?”
Just as she thought the scenario of being caught through, she heard barking, and at around the same second she heard him slam the door to his car. “Oh no Harry, he’s got a dog!”
The dog would sense immediately that her and Harry were there, she knew that, and she had half a thought to begin making her way around the fence line. “But what if the dog sees me and decides to attack me or Harry? What will I do then?”
She tried to imagine the look on the man’s face when he discovered her squatting down at the back of his sunflower garden with Harry tucked under her arm, and Harry with the yellow budgie clenched between his teeth. “We’re toast, you know that Harry don’t you?”
Harry struggled to free himself from her grasp, and just as Harry was squirming around, the dog came right up to the sun flower garden and began sniffing in earnest and it was the Rottweiler Stone. Harry hissed at the big black and tan dog, and she tried to shoosh him, but the dog heard the hissing and came closer to investigate, then she heard ‘him’ yell out, “Hey Albion, come on out of there.”
“Albion? His name’s Stone.”
She looked a little closer at the dog and noticed he wasn’t wearing his collar, but he was definitely the same dog, of that she was sure. “Okay so my kooky brain’s been working overtime again? Maybe he wasn’t over there by my house that day? Maybe I imagined that too?”
But Albion was going nowhere, and she could see ‘him’ staring out at the sunflower garden toward his dog, and then he tripped on the upended pot plant, “Shit,’ she thought.
“Bugger,” he said, “how the heck did you get there?”
Kodi felt a giggle escape her lips as he bent down and picked up the pot plant and then whistled to Albion, “Come on boy.”
Albion ignored his master and instead came up closer, and she realized it was either Harry or her, so she opted to sacrifice Harry, “Sorry dude, I guess I’m as shallow as you,” she said as she tossed Harry at Albion.
Harry hissed as his body neared the big brute of a dog, and Albion yelped as Harry dug his claws into his nose. “Ooh nasty,” thought Kodi as she watched the dog and cat endure a very up close and personal meeting with each other. Albion allowed Harry to fall to the ground unchallenged. Harry shot under the big dog’s legs, and Albion gave another yelp and then gave chase, which was just as well because ‘he’ had begun to make his way over to the sun flower garden.
“What in the world is going on over there, Albion?”
Heathcliff put his hand above his eyes to act as a visor against the sun and he stared at his dog. That’s when he saw Harry, “Oh it’s you , you, little rogue, ALBION LEAVE!” he ordered, and he bent down and grabbed Harry (who still had the yellow budgie clenched between his teeth) by the scruff. “You’re a regular little bird cat aren’t you, where’s your saucy mother?”
“Saucy, me?” she asked herself.
Albion sat down on the grass below the porch by the French doors and whined miserably because his master would not allow him the pleasure of tormenting the black furry thing with the yellow stuff in his mouth. Heathcliff stared closely at Albion’s nose, “Oh he got you then? And here I was thinking you were just being a big sook.”
He held Harry up higher in front of him, and Kodi said to herself, “Oh no, what’s he going to do to Harry?”
“If your mother is only quarter of the trouble that you are then I am in for a rough ride having her for a neighbour aren’t I? Did she not teach you it is wrong to chase down and eat birds? I have a bell collar inside and if I see you here again I am going to put it on you, how would you like that, Sam?”
“His name’s Harry, Harry you hear me, not Sam,” she whispered to herself.
“Oh yes, your name isn’t Sam is it, it’s Harry.”
“Did he hear me? He can’t have heard me!”
“Well, young Harry, let me tell you something, not only do I have a bell collar, but it is pink, and you’re a boy. Do you know how much the other creatures will laugh at big tough Harry the bird killer when they see that he is wearing a pink girly bell collar? Huh? Yes, well you just keep that in mind for the next time you decide to hunt one of my birds.”
She immediately entertained the idea of giving herself up to him in order to rescue Harry, but what would he do to her, and what would he think? “Oh man I can’t let him know I’m here. Scratch him or something, Harry.”
But he did not harm the cat, instead he dislodged the yellow bird from Harry’s teeth, “You’re not keeping this either,” and released Harry, allowing him to go on his way, and Albion sat where his master had ordered him to stay. Heathcliff placed the little yellow bird on a planter near the door. “I’ll attend to you later.”
He disappeared into the house through the French doors which were apparently unlocked, and just as Kodi was about to make her way along the back of the sunflower garden, he reappeared, to her embarrassment, naked.
She turned her face away momentarily, but then she looked up again.
She felt her face flush, but the sight of his naked body also made her breathe in sharply because he was indeed beautiful. “A god, an Adonis,” she thought, “oh my gosh was the gene pool generous with you,” and she noticed his tan was obviously natural as no one part him was any different colour to anywhere else. His arms were muscled, and his legs looked strong and toned, his stomach was flat and his shoulders looked squared and he did not stoop forward at all. He was the most amazing looking man she’d ever seen both in looks and physically speaking and all she could do was sit there staring opened mouthed in total awe. She stood up slightly higher and watched him walk across the porch, down the steps, over the grass and through the gate into the pool where he paused staring in her direction. She quickly ducked down again because for one horror filled second she thought he had seen her, but obviously he had not because he simply dived into the cool clear blue water.
Kodi thought to herself again, “he has the most broad shoulders, the most beautiful chest, and…oh my goodness stop it Kodi!” she said to herself. “I’m sitting here thinking about his body when I should be plotting my escape!”
That’s when Albion once again sprung into action and began to make his way over to the garden, and ‘he’ climbed out of the pool and called out, “Albion leave her be! Come on then, girl, out with you,” he called in her direction.
“Oh my gosh, did he see me? I didn’t think he saw me, could he have?”
There was no way she was going to stand up and reveal she was there for sure. Having to stand before him while he stood there naked was NOT something she intended to entertain. She remembered the time Mr. Gordon had wandered out onto his property in the dark the time her and her two friends had burst out laughing. He had stood on the edge of the path and said, “I know someone is there and you best be off.”
Kodi and her two friends had just about died of fright and it was a while before they were brave enough to venture there for a time. Having the man call out to her now was as frightening as it had been when she’d been almost caught by Mr. Gordon, and she didn’t quite know what to do.
“Come on then, don’t be shy, let’s be having you,” he said sternly, and he began to walk out of the pool area toward the edge of the sun flower garden.
Kodi shut her eyes and thought, “Oh my gosh no. NO! Oh no how embarrassing it’ll be to have to face him! Oh please God make him go away, I swear if you make him go away I’ll never do anything like this again, just please, PLEASE make him go away.”
Kodi opened her eyes but he had not gone away, in fact he was walking even closer to the garden. Just as she thought all was lost, when she was just about to stand up and walk out to him, she saw him lean down and scoop up a Persian cat from the side of the sunflower garden. “There’s my girl Lenore, why do you tease Albion so?”
Then he looked at the sunflowers that had been bent over, “Ah I see little brother has been here again, I don’t know why he doesn’t just ask me.” He stared straight at Kodi, and she tucked her head down into her lap just waiting for him to tell her to come out now, but it was as though he’d seen straight through her. But then she noticed a rather big flower right in front of her.
“He must have been staring at that. He looked pretty cute with the drops of water glistening on his brown skin in the sunlight. Kodi, stop it, you just about got caught stupid!”
He disappeared back inside the house with Lenore, and Albion followed in hot pursuit, and Kodi breathed a huge sigh of relief and sat there while her heart rate tried to return to normal. “I have to get out of here, NOW!” She suddenly noticed how hot it was in the sun flower garden, “I need something cold to drink,” and she decided to make her move. Kodi had just begun to crawl across the back of the sunflower garden when she heard it. Berlioz, “Oh and I bet he has Julia Roberts stuffed inside somewhere!” she said to herself.
She hated Berlioz as much as Julia, if not more, and she continued crawling along the back of the sunflower garden that extended right around the rest of his section. She imagined the scene from that movie, and she spoke to herself as she crawled along slowly, “What was it again, Fatal Attraction? No, no, that was Glenn Close, ouch!” she said out loud as she accidentally placed her hand on a prickle. She stopped for a few moments while she removed the prickles from the palm of her hand and ensured he hadn’t heard her above the music, “As if he could,” she thought to herself.
“I can’t believe you boiled the bunny,” she said out loud as if Glenn Close was within hearing distance.
“Basic Instinct? No, no, that was, gee what’s her name, the chick with the blond hair and the sexy bod, yeah, that’s right, Sharon Stone…oh well whatever the movie. The one with the scene where he was making love to her… no he wasn’t making love dear, well I suppose he was in his own way, but Julia certainly didn’t seem to enjoy it too much, and that music, Berlioz. But I shouldn’t imagine ‘he’ would be that way.”
Then her mind wandered away to Misery, “Yes that’s who you remind me of, a female version of Annie Wilks and if you catch me in your backyard will you tie me to a bed and hobble me with a sledge hammer?”
The mere contemplation of being tied to anything threatened panic deep inside Kodi and she feared she would begin to feel light headed. “What if I pass out here in his backyard and then he finds me? What will he do to me? I don’t really think he’s a female version of Annie Wilks, maybe he’s more like a gun shy Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights? No, that guy was cruel, almost tortuous, no that guy is the house is okay. He has kind eyes, how can one have kind eyes and be cruel?”
But then she remembered her first and only meeting with him; he’d seemed harsh, and she found herself asking again, “Why did I come here?” as she crawled her way over to the part of the fence that would lead her into the paddock home. As she climbed the fence back onto her driveway she felt as though she was being watched, but she didn’t give into the desire to turn around and look behind her. But as she walked up onto her porch to go inside she briefly gazed toward the tree line, but she could see nothing but trees and a slight corner of her grumpy neighbour’s house.
He walked into his bathroom to wash his hands and gazed out of the window just in time to see her climbing the fence back onto her driveway, “Was she in the paddock again? Well that would explain the cat being here if she was, my is the girl a brazen soul or what?”
Heathcliff watched her walking up onto her porch and just as she disappeared inside her house he wasn’t sure if she didn’t stare straight at him. “She can’t have seen me through the trees, surely not? What’s the difference if she did? She shouldn’t be on my property anyway, so maybe if she thinks I’m watching she’ll feel more inclined to stay on her side of the fence.”
Heathcliff headed back to the kitchen to have something to eat, he had important business across the mist that evening, “Justice will be meted one way or the other for what you have done Peter,” he said out loud to himself.

Kodi sat down at her computer that night after dinner, after having watched the sun go down behind the trees and tried to write, but no ideas were coming to her.
She stared over at Harry. “Harry, want to go for a walk up the road?”
Harry lay curled up in his basket so she walked over to him and gave him a poke in the side. “Harry, wake up.” The cat lazily opened one eye staring up at his keeper wondering why she was insisting on making him wake so early in the night.
“Let’s go for a walk huh?”
She scooped the cat up in her arms and walked out onto the porch and set off under the moonlight. She felt calm as she walked down the driveway toward the road, and as she walked out of her gate she made her way into the grade amongst the flowers.
With Harry in her arms she lay down amongst the flowers and looked up into the sky and marvelled at the stars. She hummed Dan Fogelberg’s Wisteria for a few moments and then she said to Harry, “The sky looks just like a big black blanket with lots of tiny holes where the light of the sun escapes through. Someone once said that they thought the earth was God’s lamp and that when it goes dark it means God has thrown his coat over the lamp, and the stars are the light in his room shining through the holes in the coat. Actually it was Voh who said that, what do you think Harry?”
Kodi lay there humming Wisteria again and she did not see him standing just on the side of the grade staring down at her.
“What are you doing down there Kodi?” Kodi did not hear him, so he went and lay down right beside her. He could hear her humming a sad sounding song and he wondered what the words to such a sad song might be? “Is it about loss, Kodi, is it about love?”
Still she could not hear him so she did not answer.
“You are to be my brother’s soul mate, do you know that Kodi? Of course you don’t and I’m sure if you run into him any time soon you will lay no more faith in him being your soul mate than I do at this point in time. Maybe he will change; maybe something will happen to change his mind? Somehow Kodi, you must change his mind, you must endear yourself to him.”
Kodi lay there holding Harry close while pondering the many things that had happened to her in her life, particularly childhood. Then her memory wandered way back and she remembered a little cottage in the country, “Where was that place?”
“What place?” he asked thinking she was talking to him, but she was not.
“Shannon, that was the place, a little cottage at the bottom of a hill just outside of Shannon. It was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen up until then Harry. When I got there I thought that all my dreams had come true, that I would be their little girl forever. The dad was pretty nice and the mum was okay too, and they had a daughter named Kinsli.
During the day the sun on the hills was beautiful and we used to ride that wooden toboggan down the side of that steep hill, just for laughs Harry. I remember the time I landed in a pile of sloppy cow dung, and you might think that’s gross Harry, but at the time it was funny, I swear I laughed until I cried.”
Troy lay there listening to her memories and he tried to imagine what she must have been like as a child and he wondered if she ever really truly had been happy in her life. “Usurped by something better at every turn it seems Kodi,” said Troy because he roughly knew the story of her life, never quite good enough, she was never the one someone had been looking for.
“Once I realised that Kinsli was daddy’s little girl and that the mum had no need of another daughter I started to make my own little life inside the life there. I used to walk around the farm for miles, for hours and I used to pretend it was America, and I used to pretend that the chestnut horse in the paddock beside the house was Wildfire. I used to lay in the little triangle paddock and look up to the sky and pretend I was riding Wildfire over the paddocks. For miles and miles we’d ride and there were no fences to hold us in Harry, we could just keep riding for as far as we wanted to go. I thought I’d be there forever Harry because I still thought forever was real, but you know what Harry? Forever isn’t real, there is no such thing as forever, there never was. They sent me away Harry, they sent me away from there and I went to a big house where lots of kids no one ever wanted lived and the people there were horrible. Now that place felt like forever some days, sometimes it felt like the days dragged by like some unimaginable torment. I used to cry a lot and I used to shut my eyes and pretend I was back in the triangle paddock near the cottage just outside of Shannon. Forever is a load of rubbish Harry. Forever? Cross my heart Harry, there’s no such thing.”
Troy heard the sadness in her voice and it almost brought tears to his eyes and he gently said to her as he touched her arm, “Forever is real, forever is very real, please believe that Kodi. Do you hear me Kodi, you must believe.”
She sat up suddenly and asked Harry, “Did you hear that? Someone said my name.”
Kodi looked around her in either side of the grade and then she got to her feet. Then she noticed she could smell a really familiar scent of male aftershave and the familiarity of the scent caused her heart to start pounding inside her chest and then she thought she heard her name being whispered again. Because she couldn’t see who it was, she thought she was hearing voices and she began to tumble into full-blown panic.
“Oh no, Harry, I can’t have a panic here, I can’t.”
But as hard as she fought the sensations cascading through her body and her head, she could not help but give into the blackness that was slowly engulfing her and she fell to the ground unconscious.
Troy realised that she had heard him but that she still could not see him and he caught her just as she hit the flowers on her way down. What he didn’t see was her bracelet fall from her wrist as he lifted her into his arms and slowly made his way out of the grade with her. Looking back behind him he whistled for Harry to follow him to her house. Troy carried her up the driveway of the property and then across the porch. “You are as light as a feather Kodi, you must begin to eat better,” he said as he walked through the open door. Once inside he took her to her bed and tucked her securely into it and then ordered Harry to stay at her side for when she awoke. He shut the curtains across the windows and then walked toward the bedroom door.
“She will think the trip to the grade a dream Harry, and if you are here beside her when she wakes, she will feel comforted.”
Troy gently tussled her hair and made his way out of the bedroom pulling the door to, and then he made his way out of the house locking the door behind him.
The next morning Kodi awoke feeling very disoriented, “How did I get here? I was in the grade.”
She looked at Harry and he simply purred as he gazed back and she said, “Harry I wish you could talk because you could tell me whether I was in the grade last night or not. I would swear I was though, I remember passing out and falling into the flowers, but I never hit the ground because someone caught me Harry, who was it?”
Harry jumped down from the bed and across the room so Kodi got up and followed him. She went to take her jumper off because it was quite warm and she remembered to make sure that her bracelet clasp didn’t get caught on the jumper and pull a thread. As she looked at her wrist she noticed her bracelet was missing and she immediately said to Harry, “I know where it is, it’s in the grade. Let’s go.”
She made her way toward the door, across the porch and out onto the driveway and just as she was approaching the gate she saw Heathcliff walking Albion past her place.
“Oh damn, I should have known I’d run into him. Should I say hello to him? No, I should say nothing to him, he doesn’t want to know me Harry, remember?”
But as Heathcliff neared her gate Albion saw Harry and gave playful chase and before she or Heathcliff knew what had happened, Harry was up a tree and Albion was at the bottom barking at him. Both Heathcliff and Kodi knew Albion meant the cat no harm and so neither made any sudden moves to neutralise the situation between cat and dog.
Kodi ignored the dog and his owner while she walked into the grade to look for her bracelet, “It’ll be somewhere down here,” she thought as she saw the patch of squashed flowers where she had lain the night before.
Heathcliff saw her crouch down in the grade looking through the flowers for something; “You lose something?” Heathcliff called to her from the gate.
“My bracelet, I lost it last night and I’m just….oh here it is, I found it. I knew I didn’t imagine it,” she said.
“Imagine what?” asked Heathcliff.
“Nothing,” she said as she stared at him.
“Fine,” said Heathcliff. “Albion heel.”
Albion immediately ran to his master’s side and Heathcliff continued on his way toward his gate just a little further up the road.
“What about my cat?” she called out after him.
Heathcliff turned back to look at her. “You didn’t need my help a second ago, besides, there might be some birds up there to keep Harry busy, and while he’s stuck up that tree, he’s not at my house bothering me and mine now is he?”
“Whatever,” called Kodi sarcastically.
“Yeah, whatever,” called Heathcliff as he turned away from her with his dog in tow.
Kodi watched him as he walked away and said to herself, “Soul mate my butt.”
As Heathcliff continued to walk toward his house with Albion he said to him, “Soul mate my backside.”
Kodi turned her back and walked into her driveway, “Soul mate?” she asked as she neared the tree to call Harry down. “Where did that come from?”
The next day Troy was just on his way out to go and feed the cats in the barn when he saw Ed walking up his driveway. “Where’s his horse?” When Ed got closer he asked him, “Where’s your horse?”
Ed made his way to the front porch to see the younger of the two Willis brothers. “Morning, Troy, how’s everything going on this fine day?”
“You need new material, Ed. How about saying something like, good morning, Troy, isn’t it a lovely day?”
“Well if I said that, Troy, it wouldn’t be me now would it?” said Ed playfully.
“I suppose not,” said Troy laughingly.
Ed sat down on the steps and Troy went and sat down beside him. “So where is your horse?”
“Oh Myrtle? I gave her the day off today,” said Ed very matter of fact.
"Well I guess Myrtle appreciates it,” said Troy with a laugh.
“Have you seen much of our new neighbour across the way?” Ed stared out toward the trees on the other side of the road.
“Funny you should mention her, Ed. Last night I went for a walk down the driveway to go and see Heathcliff, but then I remembered he had business across the other side. Anyway I went to turn to go home when I saw her wander out of her gate with Harry in tow.”
“Oh, where did she go, not over to Heathcliff’s place?”
“No nothing spectacular like that, can you imagine Heathcliff’s face if she ever did turn up there unannounced? No she went into the grade and just lay down there right in the middle of the flowers.”
“What was she doing in the flowers?” Ed fiddled with something between his fingers.
“Oh she was just humming a song, talking to Harry and staring at the stars.”
“Did she see you?” Ed glanced at Troy.
“No she didn’t see me at all, but she did hear me speak her name and something about me made her panic.”
“What do you mean, she got frightened?”
“No she actually had a panic attack that was so bad that she passed out and I caught her just before she fell into the flowers again.”
“Wow, has she been doing that a lot?”
“Actually, Ed, she does it frequently, but mostly when I’m around and I don’t quite know why, it’s very strange.”
“When she was talking to Harry, what was she saying?” asked Ed curious about what a human may need to voice to a cat.
“She was talking about some little town, um Shannon I think she said, something about an old house, a triangle paddock and a horse named Wildfire.”
“She had a horse when she was just a child. Its name wasn’t Wildfire, but I don’t remember what it’s name was to be truthful with you, just that it wasn’t the name you just said.”
“Whatever it was, it made her really sad.” Troy picked a piece of grass from the flowerbed beside him.
“So what did you do once she passed out like that?”
“I just scooped her up in my arms and carried her back to the house, tucked her up in bed and left her there, but Ed?”
“What Troy?”
“I don’t think she’s eating properly, she’s very thin, light as a feather to be truthful with you. Is there any way we can monitor what she’s eating, you know, any way that we can make sure she is taking care of herself properly?”
“I’ll have a word to your mother and I’ll pay her a visit, take her some of my famous Afghans or something,” said Ed.
“She needs more than one visit and some Afghans Ed,” said Troy as he stared out toward Kodi’s house.
“Yes I know, but it’s a good place to start, and anyway, she needs to get to know more people here. I mean how are we going to convince her to stay if we don’t get her involved in some kind of life here?”
“True, but this thing with Heathcliff, it could be really tricky because he doesn’t want anything to do with her.”
“I wouldn’t worry yourself too much over that Troy, Kodi’s nature is such that sooner or later she’s going to get herself right up in Heathcliff’s face and then he will have no choice but to deal with her.”
“It’s going to be a bit of a juggling act for him with the baby and all though.”
“We’ve got that pretty much covered and worse case scenario, she turns up to his house while Alexi is there and he will scare her away at all costs.”
“What if he scares her away for good?”
“He won’t. Troy, I know Heathcliff is trying to come across as somewhat of an ogre since he lost Annie, but deep down inside he is the same man as he always was, when push comes to shove, he will do the right thing by Kodi.”
“I hope you are right Ed. I need to ask you something, how long have you known she is Heathcliff’s soul mate?”
“I have only known recently, I had no idea before any of this happened.”
“Did anyone else know?”
“Not that I’m aware of, maybe Saul has suspected a little longer than the rest of us, why do you ask?”
“Just something Heathcliff said the other night, something about having had doubts about Annie being the one for him. He said it wasn’t anything he thought of before she passed, just occurred to him in hindsight.”
“Who knows Troy?” said Ed surprised to hear of Heathcliff’s Annie doubts. “Perhaps there’s hope for him yet?” he thought to himself.
“Just seems odd that he’s watched her since she was born and now he’s supposedly her soul mate.”
“Well, maybe it was meant to be that way, maybe Kodi was the back up plan, or maybe Annie was never meant to come here? Troy no one knows anything for certain, and maybe we never will. All we can do is move forward in what we know for sure, and sometimes that’s what life comes down to, moving in the sure and leaving the speculation behind us.”
“Is there any way, or the least chance that we are wrong about Kodi?”
“No, we are not wrong this time, Saul is certain about her, yet it does not alleviate the worry or the risk that things could go horribly wrong, so we must keep our heads about us.”
“Yes I know what you mean. And hey?”
“What?”
“I know about Ruby,” said Troy with a sheepish smile.
“Oh you do now do you? Who told you?”
“I just kind of worked it out and then Saul and Heathcliff confirmed it for me a while back. Oh and Heathcliff loved the cradle by the way, so if you see Kaleb before me, please do be sure to tell him thanks for all his help because he did a fantastic job on the animals.”
“Such a talented young man is our Kaleb,” said Ed.
“He is that indeed Ed. Hey Ed, why don’t you invite Kodi to church on Sunday?’ suggested Troy as he twiddled the grass with his fingers.
“Hmm, I’ll have to think about that, what if she can’t see half the people there?” asked Ed staring at the blade of grass in Troy's fingers.
“True, it was just a thought, maybe it’s not a good idea after all?” said Troy as he flicked the piece of grass down onto the lawn.
“No, it’s not a bad idea but we can probably do something better, maybe I can get her to come to the market day?”
“Can’t hurt to ask I guess,” said Troy still thinking the church idea was probably better because they were having a picnic after it was finished.
“We’re having a picnic afterward aren’t we? Perhaps I could invite her just to the picnic afterward, what do you think Troy?”
“That’s a pretty good idea Ed,” said Troy feeling as though he had just had his mind read.
A few days later when she had fallen asleep on the porch swing again in the morning sun, she was awoken to what sounded like horse hoofs on the gravel driveway.
“Oh I hope I’m awake and not dreaming,” she said as she walked across the porch and down onto the driveway, “After the grade I guess any weirdness is possible now.”
“Hello there young Miss.”
Kodi saw the funniest little man she’d ever seen riding up to the fence on a horse. The man dismounted and tethered his horse to the post and walked over to her and extended his hand, “Ed is the name.’
Kodi extended her hand to him thinking he was going to shake it when he raised it to his mouth and kissed it, and Kodi thought, “Okay this is really weird! Only ever seen that done in French movies. Whose French movies? Oh of course Chas used to watch them.”
“And you would be?” he asked as he released her hand noticing she seemed to be miles away in thought.
“Oh I’m sorry, Kodi, Kodi Madison.”
“I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance Miss Kodi Madison. And how are you enjoying our little community so far?”
“Um, I haven’t really seen a whole lot of it so far, I mostly hang out around here. I met my neighbour,” she said awkwardly, pointing in the direction of his house.
“Oh yes, well that’s very good, but you must try and get out and about a little bit more, ‘tis not a good thing to be on one’s own all the time.”
Little did Ed realise he’d come to regret giving that little gem of advice to her.
“Oh, okay,” said Kodi hesitantly wondering who else Ed could mean as she rarely saw anyone around there at all.
“So what did you think of your neighbour?” Ed asked, knowing full well that at this point Heathcliff most likely hadn’t earned rave reviews from the girl.
“He’s grumpy and rude, and I don’t much like him, his dog chased my cat up a tree a few days ago.”
“Oh,” he said as he reached into the bag he had draped over his shoulder and handed something to Kodi, “I baked, Afghans.”
Kodi reached out and took the package from him, “Thank you…um…do you want to come inside for a cup of coffee?” she asked hoping he would decline the offer.
“Well I don’t drink coffee Miss Kodi but a spot of tea would be most welcomed and perhaps we could take it on the porch?” Ed had sensed her discomfort, but he knew she needed to get to know people here, perhaps strike up friendships that would give her a reason to stay.
“Darn Heathcliff, he’s going to be a tougher nut to crack than we thought,” he thought to himself as he followed Kodi up onto the porch and took a seat on the wooden park bench.
The swing seat looked inviting, but Ed noticed a blanket on it, which meant she’d probably been sleeping there. Also he had noticed she was very nervous so sitting where he did was a way of ensuring he kept a safe distance from her, for her sake, not his.
Kodi went inside and made a cup of tea and then brought it out onto the porch with the Afghans, and then she sat down and began chewing on an Afghan feeling really awkward around the strange little man.
“I should make conversation with him, but what am I going to talk about with him? He looks ancient, almost Amish actually with his funny little hat and old clothes.”
As she sat there staring at the man she remembered a Weird Al song called Amish Paradise and she almost laughed, but caught herself before she did and she was glad she had because she didn’t want the man to think her rude.
Ed spied the green book sitting slightly obscured under the blanket on the swing where she had obviously been sleeping. He thought the book would be a good conversation opener, a non-threatening way to encourage her to talk to him instead of them both sitting there enduring that terribly awkward silence.
“What’s the book you have there Miss Kodi?”
“Oh,” she said reaching under the blanket to bring the book out, “it’s the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe.”
“Poe, hmm, you like his work?”
“Oh I love his writing, he sounds so, well almost musical. A friend of mine said his writing is the kind of thing you’d read while listening to some old music box playing in the background. And the language is similar to Wuthering Heights, but that could be because they were both written around the same time, well sort of. But I like the idea of the old music box clunking in the background,” she trailed off.
“What is your favourite story then?” “Interesting concept, why would someone think that?” he thought to himself as he sat there watching Kodi flipping to the page that her favourite story was on.
“Oh, The Cask of Amontillado, but the one story I can never make it to the end of is The Pit and the Pendulum. Not only can I not get to the end of it, but I don’t really even understand it.”
Kodi looked down at the concrete feeling embarrassed that she’d admitted that she didn’t understand what was probably such a simple story.
Ed felt pity for her and said, “Oh well, we don’t always understand what a writer is trying to say to us in their stories, maybe it only meant something to Edgar? But why is the Amontillado your favourite story?”
“Well because Fortunato was one of those people who seemed to enjoy stealing other people’s thunder and he tended to get quite insulting when he did it. Montresor used Fortunato’s ego as a weapon against him in that Fortunato became his own worst enemy. By stroking Fortunato’s ego Montresor managed to get even with him.”
“Does that not strike you as the wrong thing to do? Vengeance is not exactly the right way to deal with a transgression don’t you agree?” Edgar was keen to see what her response to that would be because she of all people surely had to have a hunger for vengeance?
“But it’s just a story, it’s not real, it’s like the ultimate fantasy all of us probably entertain at one time or another to seek revenge, the revenge we don’t take in life because we know it’s wrong to do so. But in that story, in some ways, we all get our revenge through Montresor, we get to indulge in the unthinkable.”
“You believe Miss Kodi that no man ever seeks revenge in real life?” Ed was interested to see what her answer to that would be too.
“I only ever sought revenge once, and it doesn’t make you feel good, it makes you feel guilty. But Montresor allows you to enjoy it in the third person, even though you know you’d never really do it yourself. I like the story too because Montresor obviously was well versed in the psychology of a big head like Fortunato, he knew which buttons to push to get Fortunato to take the bait and fall into the trap he’d set for him. Poe was very clever that way I think. And the thought of Fortunato being trapped in chains behind the wall in those dark old catacombs, day after day knowing that there was no hope of ever being rescued made me feel a little sick at moments near the end. But the thing that gets me the most is how Montresor was totally unable to feel any sense of guilt over it, I mean he just left him there and happily got on with his life. I could never do that, you know, knowingly leave someone to die cold and alone in the dark? No, that would haunt me and I would have gone back and set him free, I guess that’s the difference between Montresor and I.”
Kodi lowered her head in embarrassment that she had let her mouth get away on her. Edgar sensed her embarrassment and so decided to set her at ease about how much she had talked by asking her another question. “If I encourage her to talk it will reassure her that she has done nothing wrong and that I want to hear whatever she has to say no matter how long it takes her to say it,” he thought to himself.
“So which of his poems do you like best?”
“I’m sorry if I talk too much, you can tell me to stop when you have had enough,” she said shyly to Ed.
“Who would dare to say you talk too much?” asked Ed.
Kodi just shrugged her shoulders and went red in the face as she thought back to the many times over her life when she’d been told she talked too much. It wasn’t as though she did it all the time, it was just that the times she did talk too much were the most inopportune times to do so.
Ed, sensing her extreme discomfort and noticing her blush with embarrassment at thinking she had upset or bored him with too many words asked her again, “So tell me your favourite Poe poem.”
Kodi was relieved to discover she had not offended him by talking too much and so answered the question, glad of an excuse to break the silence again, “I have three, The Raven, To One in Paradise and Israfel.”
“Israfel, that’s not one people usually like, why do you like that one?”
“It’s kind of about music and I love music, and it reminds me of the angels,” said Kodi who felt compelled to explain her other two choices too.
“I like the Raven because of the way it’s written, it has a quirky beat that you have to be able to pick up on in order to be able to read it aloud. And I like To One in Paradise because of the imagery it conjures up in my imagination, but mostly I like the last verse.”
“Why the last verse?”
“Do you know the last verse?” she asked.
“Refresh my memory Miss Kodi.”
“Okay, and all my days are trances and all my nightly dreams are where thy dark eye glances and where thy footsteps gleam, in what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams.”
Kodi looked a little shy to Ed, but she spoke the words with such passion he felt such joy that he had written a poem that could touch someone’s heart so. He especially felt heartened because originally he had hated that poem and had had every intention of throwing it away with all the other pieces he had considered drivel back then.
“I’m positive that wherever Mr. Poe is now that he is heartfelt happy to know his poems brought joy to one such as yourself.”
“Alan Parsons Project did a whole album dedicated to Poe’s work,” she said.
“Really?” asked Ed, “Who are they and what did they do?” It was news to Ed that that had ever been done.
“They’re an English music group and they called the album Tales of Mystery and Imagination by Edgar Allen Poe and they did a good job too. I have the album, do you want to borrow it?”
“I surely would like to borrow it if that is ok with you Miss Kodi, what stories and poems did they use?”
“The Raven, The Cask of Amontillado, The Fall of the House of Usher, The System of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether, To One in Paradise and a couple of others I can’t recall off the top of my head. But remind me before you leave and I will go and get it for you.”
“I look forward to listening to it Miss Kodi,” said Ed with a big smile on his face. “Fancy that, someone using my writing to put music too, it will be really interesting to listen to. I just hope it’s better than some of the rewrites of my works over the years,” he thought to himself as he sat there in the sun.
“I would love to have been able to talk to Edgar Allen Poe, that would have been so amazing. I was going to go and visit his grave and maybe visit the house where he lived in Baltimore, but I just never got around to it.”
“Why should you wish to go to visit the grave of anyone Miss Kodi, the bones are there but the essence of people is in that which they leave behind be it children, music, poems or works of art.”
“I don’t know why really, just thought it would be nice to go and put some flowers on the grave of the man who brought me such literary joy. I suppose that sounds kind of silly to you Ed? I was going to go to New Orleans and Del Mar too, though.”
“Who’s buried in New Orleans and Del Mar?’ asked Ed.
“Oh, no one I know is buried in either place, I just wanted to go to Del Mar to watch the horses race on the beach. In New Orleans I just wanted to stand under the Dixie moon in the deep of the night.”
“The Dixie moon?” asked Ed, “The moon in New Orleans is the same as it is anywhere else.”
“Yeah but I wanted to sit by the shores of the Ponchartrain and stare up at the Dixie moon,” said Kodi quietly praying Ed wouldn’t ask her how she got that idea into her head. Fortunately for her he did not and instead asked, “You like horses Miss Kodi?”
“I love horses. I once rode my horse on the beach when I was a kid and it was the most magical thing I’d ever done, it was so beautiful.” “Oh my gosh I’m having a case of verbal diahorrea, I should shut up before I drive him bananas,” she thought to herself.
It seemed to Ed that Kodi had become momentarily lost in her memory of that time. She’d snuck there, she’d crossed her horse across the main highway to get to the beach, something she had been told never to do, but it had been worth the risk to her. She had been completely forbidden to ever do that, yet she did it just the same.
“And there was Heathcliff again. He was there just waiting too Kodi, waiting for it to go wrong but hoping that it wouldn’t, and you have no idea how close it got.” thought Ed. “Oh how many starts you’ve given your helpers over the years.”
“I could have been killed doing that, I really thought that red car was going to make things get really ugly the way he drove along on the inside of the road so close to the grass. But at the last minute he saw us and swerved. But aside from that, the horse could have spooked, run out onto the highway in front of a vehicle and that would have been the end of me and him and anyone else who got in the way. I should never have done that, but it was magic, just magic riding on the beach like that,” she smiled at the memory.
“I wasn’t supposed to go down to the beach with my horse, I was told never to cross the highway, but I did it anyway Ed, stupid eh?”
“Well all children do things they shouldn’t, and no harm was done to you nor the horse, so I suppose it doesn’t really matter anymore now does it?”
“I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have done as a kid Ed, I was a real little rascal.”
“All children are rascals Kodi, just some are more truthful about it later in life than others. But you can never quite recapture the past, so you can’t change it, therefore don’t beat yourself up for it.”
Kodi stared hard at Ed and asked, “Did you do stupid things when you were a kid Ed?”
“Why Miss Kodi I was an impeccably well behaved child. No, I kept all my rascally carrying on for later in life when I should have known better, at least you have the benefit of having just been a child who really didn’t know anything too much. The world was exciting, you were young and invincible, and adults told you not to do things merely to make your life a misery and nothing more.” Ed smiled
“That’s funny because that’s exactly what I used to think Ed.”
“All children think that too Miss Kodi, you were no different, no worse.”
Kodi took another bite of her biscuit; “These Afghans are pretty good, you said you baked these yourself?”
“Absolutely Miss Kodi,” said Ed.
“I saw someone have one thrown at their head and it left a nasty mark let me tell you. Afghans should always be eaten, never thrown,” she giggled.
“I should imagine so Miss Kodi,” said Ed amused at the idea of people throwing afghans at each other an odd method of war.
“What about your wife Ed, does she cook?” asked Kodi, but when she saw the look on Ed’s face she wondered whether it might have been a stupid and insensitive question to ask.
“I lost my wife many years ago Miss Kodi, so I had to learn to cook for myself, and to be completely forthright with you, I enjoy cooking.”
“I can’t even cook,” said Kodi nervously not even knowing why she was admitting to something else so unflattering. Mostly she said it to ease the tension she believed she had created through asking Ed about his wife who was no longer with him.
“So how do you eat Miss Kodi?” asked Ed, concerned the girl might not be eating right on top of everything else.
“With a knife and fork Ed,” she said as she burst out laughing.
Ed laughed at the joke as well, “That’s good, you are very quick witted and I see I am going to have to watch myself around you,” he said with a smile.
“No, seriously though, Ed, I think myself and people just like me were the direct inspiration behind the microwave dinner fad.”
“Aha,” said Ed. “I knew there was a reason why someone chose to commit such an act of culinary sacrilege.”

“So maybe you’ll meet someone new one day Ed, you know, and maybe she will cook as good as your first wife?” Kodi smiled nervously hoping she hadn’t, yet again, said the wrong thing.
“Oh well he cooks, at least one of them does,” he thought to himself smiling on the inside.
“Little secret Miss Kodi, my wife couldn’t cook either, but her smile could light up a room, so cooking is not everything. And yes, maybe one day I will marry again, one never knows what might be around the corner.”
“That’s true, life can change really fast,” Kodi looked out past Ed, way beyond the tree line somewhere way off into the past.
“Well, as much as I hate to end this very interesting visit with you Miss Kodi, I had better hurry along now as I have things I need to do, places to go and people I need to see, but it has been lovely spending time with you Miss Kodi.”
“Oh the album, Alan Parsons…”
“Oh yes, just as well you remembered Miss Kodi as I would have gotten home before I realised I had forgotten to get it from you.”
Kodi dashed inside the house and grabbed the CD for Ed and came back out and handed it to him. Ed looked at the CD and thought to himself, “What a tiny record, oh well maybe Troy can show me how to use this?” then he tucked it into his bag and stood up to leave.
“It was a pleasure,” Kodi found herself saying as she stood up to walk with Ed over to his horse. For some reason Kodi found that she had really enjoyed Ed’s company and even went as far as to hope he might call around again sometime soon.
“No Miss Kodi, the pleasure was all mine and I shall get this record back to you as soon as I can.”
“Okay Ed,” said Kodi confused by the fact that he seemed to think the CD was a record, yet too fearful of making him feel insulted by correcting him. She walked with Ed over to his horse where he untethered it, placed his hat upon his head, climbed up into the saddle and then tilted his hat to Kodi, “Good day,” he said as he rode away slowly down the driveway. Just as he neared the gate he thought, “Oh darn, the picnic."
“Visit again soon,” she called out after him.
Ed turned Myrtle around and headed back up the driveway toward Kodi again. “Gee I know I said to visit again soon, just didn’t think it would be this soon Ed,” she said laughing.
“I forgot to mention something to you,” said Ed slightly embarrassed.
“What?” asked Kodi rather intrigued.
“This Sunday we’re having a picnic by the river, would you like to come?”
Kodi was caught off guard by the invitation. “Oh, um…I…ah…no Ed I don’t think I’m ready for something like that, maybe next time?”
Ed decided to grab the bull by the horns, “It’s just the thing you need and it will give you a chance to meet some new people. I will come and pick you up around 11 o’clock on Sunday, ok?”
“Um Ed, I…”
Ed turned Myrtle toward the gate again, and gave her a gentle nudge with his feet that let her know to start moving and quickly before Kodi could present any more lame arguments as to why she shouldn’t attend the picnic. As he neared the gate he called back to Kodi, “See you on Sunday.”
Kodi watched Ed turn out onto the road and ride away out of sight.
“I wonder where he lives around here? I saw him riding his horse past here a few days ago, so he must live close by. I’ll ask Mrs. Willis next time I see her, maybe she will know and then maybe I can return the favour by visiting him? While I’m there I’ll tell him thanks but no thanks on the picnic idea, better still I’ll tell Mrs. Willis and she can tell him for me. Nothing like being able to pass the buck.”
Ed saw Heathcliff later that day as he was riding home and so he stopped briefly to chat with him, and asked, “You going to the picnic on Sunday?”
“Of course I’ll be there, but I’m going to leave Alexi with Martha as she’s not going to be going and I think Alexi is too small to be outside for too long yet,” said Heathcliff.
“Good,’ said Ed.
“Why good?” asked Heathcliff.
“Just it’s about time you started to get out more and from what I have heard, Kaleb might put in an appearance.”
“I won’t hold my breath on that count Ed.”
“Well you never know now do you?”
“I guess not,” replied Heathcliff.
“Hey how did you get on over the other side?” asked Ed.
“Oh, well not so good, I don’t think he is going to co-operate with us.”
“Well perhaps you need to turn up the heat a little on that score, it’s imperative that he co-operate with us because we may need it to ensure everything else goes to plan with the transition,” said Ed seriously.
“I’ll have no trouble turning the heat up on him, in fact I’ll do it with pleasure,” said Heathcliff.
“Heathcliff, this is to be done properly, you can’t step out of the bounds, you know that right?”
“Yeah I know that Ed, it’s just it’s really hard to keep emotions in check after, well after…”
“I’m glad that you have decided to co-operate with this Heathcliff, we couldn’t ask Troy to do it, he’s seen enough and he still has quite a lot to attend to, and then there’s Ruby.”
Ed was suspicious of Heathcliff and his reaction to the task he still had to complete.
“I know that Ed,” he said without making eye contact. Ed instinctively knew that Heathcliff was hiding something, but he had no idea what. “I’m glad for Troy that he will have Ruby with him soon, it will be nice for him to finally have a life other than over there with all he has to do.”
“Yes, well anyway Heathcliff I shall see you Sunday.”
“We’ll do,” said Heathcliff as he watched Ed ride away.

Sunday came around way faster than Kodi would have liked it to and she had not gotten a chance to ask Mrs. Willis to pass on her apologies to Ed about the picnic. As she saw Ed coming up her driveway on his horse and with another in tow she entertained the idea of hiding inside the house and pretending not to be home. “But that would be rude,” she said out loud to herself.
Ed tethered the horse to the fence and walked up to the door and called in for Kodi, so she had no choice but to go out and face the music.
“You all ready to go Miss. Kodi?’ he asked cheerfully.
“Yes Ed, and thank you for inviting me.”
“I brought you a horse to ride there, I thought you might enjoy riding again.”
“Oh…wow…thank you…I think,” said Kodi nervously.
“Never fear Miss. Kodi, riding a horse is like riding a bike, once you have learned you never forget.”
Kodi discovered that Ed was right and she actually really enjoyed the ride to the picnic site, and once she got to the place she was blown away by the view. The whole place was surrounded by wisteria, it was like a heaven of purple and Kodi thought it was just beautiful, but then she worried about the bees that might be there. “Ed, I’m allergic to bees.”
“The bees will not bother you Kodi, trust me on that.”
As they got closer to the wisteria Kodi saw the people who were there and there were only a few, Mrs. Willis and a man who appeared to probably be Mr. Willis. There was another man Kodi had never met and in the corner she was sure she spotted her imaginary friend from childhood. She almost flew into panic there and then, but just as she began to panic he disappeared and all seemed well with the world to Kodi, except for her neighbour. Once that panic wore off she then worried about her grumpy neighbour, but she needn’t have because as soon as he saw that she was there, he left.
Neither Ed nor Saul was amused with Heathcliff leaving like that, but they had kind of expected that it might happen.
Kodi went and took a seat beside Mrs. Willis and Ed didn’t introduce her to anyone until he ascertained who Kodi could and couldn’t see. Kodi spoke briefly to Mrs. Willis and was there long enough to be introduced to her husband Joe.
In truth there were at least thirty people in attendance, but everyone was very careful not to freak Kodi out by having a conversation with anyone she was unable to see. Later Ed was to remark that it was the quietest picnic he had attended for a long time.
Kodi seemed to be relaxed when all of a sudden Ed noticed her leg jigging, and then he noticed Kodi staring right at the base of the tree where Troy was sitting.
Kodi had just finished saying something to Mrs. Willis when she noticed the smell, that aftershave and she looked to Emily and asked, “Can you smell that?”
“What dear?” asked Emily.
“That smell, it smells like…like…I don’t know what it smells like,” she said as her heart began to pound inside her chest.
“Oh it’s just the wisteria Kodi, that’s all.”
“Yes,” said Ed cautiously.
Saul, Kaleb, and a few of the others sat there barely breathing just waiting to see what would happen next. That was when Kodi noticed him sitting at the base of the tree again and he was staring straight at her. For the first time she got a really good look at him and she realised that he wasn’t her childhood imaginary friend, he was slightly different to him.
“Maybe I’m just not remembering him right, maybe it is him?” she thought to herself. She looked away from him and then back again thinking that when she looked back he would have disappeared again. But he hadn’t disappeared, he was still there and the smell of the aftershave was even stronger, it felt as though it was right up her nose. Her childhood imaginary friend had had a smell all his own too, “But that’s not it,” she said out loud.
“What’s happening to her Emily?” asked Saul.
Emily just shook her head to indicate to Saul that she didn’t have a clue.
“It’s not the wisteria, it’s an aftershave, I hate that smell,” she said to Emily without looking at her. No sooner had she said that, her heart began pounding in her chest so loudly that it was thumping out it’s mad beat inside her head.
“Oh no, oh no, not now,” said Kodi panicked and then the tears cascaded down her face.
“What’s happening, Ed?” asked Saul.
“She’s going into panic,” said Troy.
“Kodi hardly heard a word Troy said as she slipped into the darkness that was quickly engulfing her.
Saul rushed to Kodi’s side where she lay on the ground and Troy got up from the base of the tree, walked over to her and knelt down beside her, “I don’t understand why she does that every time she sees me.”
“I have seen this before Saul,” said Kaleb.
Everyone looked to Kaleb surprised he would even involve himself in the matter.
“What have you seen before Kaleb?” asked Saul.
“It’s Troy’s aftershave that’s doing the damage,” he said quietly.
“What?” asked Ed.
“You heard her, she said it before she passed out, it’s your aftershave Troy,” Kaleb repeated.
“Why would his aftershave be upsetting her?” asked Saul.
“Maybe it’s acting as a trigger,” suggested Emily.
“A trigger for the panic attacks, but why?” asked Troy.
“Were you wearing it the night it happened?” asked Kaleb.
“I always wear this aftershave Kaleb.”
“So stop wearing it Troy, the smell is triggering the memories of the incident in her subconscious, but because she can’t consciously remember it, she can’t deal with it and so it triggers these attacks.”
“Smells can and will bring a memory to mind in almost anyone, but this memory is too painful and shocking for her to remember just yet because she’s not ready,” said Saul.
“Saul, if she doesn’t remember it then she won’t cross over,” said Troy.
“I know that Troy, but we have to find a gentler way to bring the memories to mind, just not sure how we should do that as yet.”
“Use her dreams, that’s what they’re there for,” suggested Sylvia.
“Yes but it should be Heathcliff,” said Saul.
“Well you can see for yourself that Heathcliff’s not about to do that, so someone else will have to,” said Kaleb.
“Troy. Troy should go in there,” said Saul.
“Won’t that make it worse?” asked Troy.
“No I think it might just work out to our advantage if it’s you. Once she gets a little more tolerant of your presence and begins to associate you with her dreams, then it will probably be a comfort for her to see you in there when it starts to get rough,” said Ed.
“Okay I’ll do it, but what do we do in the meantime?” asked Troy.
“Well for a kick off find yourself a new aftershave, but keep your old one for the dreams, and I guess all we can do now is get her home to her house,” said Kaleb.
Saul was secretly pleased to see Kaleb involving himself in something after so long, and just as he processed that thought Kaleb said, “Well that’s enough for me, I’m back off to the beach, see you all later.”
Everyone bid Kaleb farewell knowing it may be many months before they saw him again and Ed and Saul busied themselves with getting Kodi home. She was gently placed on the back seat of Joe and Emily’s car and driven home. It was Saul who carried her over to the swing seat on her porch and tucked her down on it.
A few days later at around mid afternoon when Kodi decided she could take the boredom no longer, she decided to go for a walk down to the end of the road and she took Harry along with her. After the mess of the picnic she felt like going and taking a look around for herself, “Maybe we’ll be able to find our way back to the wisteria field Harry? Oh well whatever happens it will be another adventure for you and me eh Harry? Everyone needs a little adventure, of course I’d prefer it if Ed just came back for another visit but I think I might have put him off after passing out at the picnic.”
She looked up at the sky. “Sunshine in July Harry, will I ever get used to these mucked up seasons? Back home it’d be freezing cold and the mountains will be covered in snow.”
She set off down the driveway and out the gate with Harry in tow. As she walked further down the road she noticed that it was clouding over a little and it looked as though it might rain. Yet even in the diminishing sunlight the flowers that grew in the grade on either side of the road still looked beautiful, and the smell of the flowers was divine. As she walked on further the clouds had begun to move across the sky faster slowly blocking out almost all the rays of sunlight.
As she passed her neighbour’s place she said to Harry, “I wonder if he’s home? I wonder what he’d do if we just kind of turned up for coffee? Don’t worry Harry, there’s no way I’d do that, besides, he’d probably chase us off with his broomstick!” she said as she stared in at his house.
“It’s really starting to smell like rain. Perhaps this is not such a good idea Harry? We could get stuck in the rain and I know how much cats hate getting wet.”
But Kodi kept walking anyway and it felt good to her to be walking without any particular destination in mind. She glanced across the paddock and saw a driveway that appeared to lead to nowhere and she was just processing that thought when suddenly a big white house came into view.
“Ok that’s weird,” she said to Harry, “but I don’t care if it’s my imagination or whether it’s real, I’m just going to humour it and keep going, okay with you Harry?”
Heathcliff had just turned into the road to his house when he saw her walking on the opposite side of the road carrying her cat. “Is that my little neighbour wandering around Alexi?” he asked staring down briefly at the baby and as he got closer he realised it was indeed Kodi walking on the side of the road.
“What is she doing? More importantly, where is she going? It’s none of my business what she does, my days of rescuing her from the jaws of trouble are over.”
He thought back to the picnic and the mess that had gone down once he had exited the event. “She passed out again, and I’m so glad I wasn’t there for that,” he said to Alexi.
Heathcliff toyed with the idea of stopping just to check things out with her, but he had Alexi with him and he so decided it would be better to just keep going. As he neared Kodi walking on the side of the road he glanced down at Alexi again, and he felt a sudden surge of guilt flood through his mind, and he was torn between what was right for Kodi, and what was right for Alexi.
“Either way one of you is having the wrong thing done by you but there is nothing I that can do to right this, and I’m not sure that I am willing to walk down the road that will right things for both of you. You are lucky to be a little one Alexi, you do not have to be consumed with thoughts of anything beyond needing a bottle, a diaper or a cuddle, I sure wish my life was that simple.”
As Heathcliff drove past her without even acknowledging her, he noticed she wasn’t even looking anyway because she was crouched down on the side of the grade facing away from him.
“Perhaps I should have at least stopped and warned her that it looks as though there might be a storm? She’s behaved badly over the years at times but she’s certainly not stupid Alexi, she will see that it looks like rain and will head home. Do you know she can smell rain? Yeah she can, been able to smell it since she was three years old. I wonder if you will be able to smell rain when you get a little older?”
Heathcliff thought back to that day years ago when she was sitting on the swing and Marli had thrown a massive tantrum because Kodi insisted Marli push her on the swing as she herself had pushed Marli.
“My could Marli pack a tantrum Alexi, you have no idea…and I most certainly hope it’s nothing genetic…and just so you know, if it is genetic you will be spending a lot of time across my knee young lady because I will never tolerate such behaviour. I’m a toughie when it comes to things such as these, but I am also fair. I’m really glad we had this little talk, that way there will be no confusion later on.”
His thoughts then drifted back to Marli.
Marli had gone to storm off and had tripped over a piece of wood that was obscured by the long grass and had begun to cry. Kodi had leapt off the swing as fast as she could and run to Marli’s side. She had helped her to her feet and said, “You don’t have to push me on the swing, we’ll be going inside soon anyway.”
“I would like to have picked that child up right then and there and put her across my lap for a jolly good spanking, and boy would I have let her have it too, such a naughty little girl,” he said out loud to the little baby.
“Why?” Marli had asked as she wiped her tear-streaked face.
“Cause it’s gonna rain,” replied Kodi staring up at the sky.
“It’s not gonna rain,” said Marli suddenly laughing at her twin.
“Yes it is, I can smell it,” said Kodi very matter of fact.
“You can smell the rain little one?” he had asked even though he knew she couldn’t hear him.
“Yup I can,” she said staring up at him, then she’d looked at Marli and said, “just ask him, he can smell the rain too,” she said pointing to the man standing beside her.
“Who?” asked Marli.
“Him,” said Kodi pointing to someone who Marli could not see.
“Who’s him?” she asked staring hard at her sister.
“HIM!” Kodi began to get annoyed as she tugged on Heathcliff’s sleeve.
Heathcliff had crouched down in front of Kodi, cupped her little face in his hands and he asked, “Can you see me little one?”
Kodi nodded her head at Heathcliff, but he didn’t understand then why she could see him, and he was just as intrigued by the fact that she could smell rain as he was by the fact that she could see him. Later on he realised that almost every time (but not absolutely every time) something really bad was about to happen that Kodi would see him just before, and he learned to take that as a warning.
“Within minutes of her saying she could smell the rain, the big globs of water began to pour from the sky,” he thought to himself as he drove up his driveway staring at the sky and smiling at the memory of her as a child.
Kodi saw the man from next door’s car coming up the road toward her and she thought to herself, “Oh no, it’s him. What do I do, wave, ignore him or what? I know, as soon as he gets closer I’ll bend down with Harry and pretend to be doing something with him and that way I won’t even have to look at him or acknowledge him. If he mentions anything later on I can pretend I didn’t even see him, besides, it might not even be him.”
Kodi knew she was kidding herself pretending that it probably wasn’t even him, but as soon as the car got within thirty meters of her she bent down on the side of the road facing away from where the car would pass her. She tried to pretend to be looking at the flowers in the grade, at least she hoped she looked like she was looking at the flowers and that he had no clue that it was all a ruse to avoid him.
She was still a little cross about him not helping to get Harry down from the tree that Albion had chased him up. “And the way he just kept walking away like he couldn’t care less, so rude and arrogant,” she thought to herself. “Why can’t life be like chat rooms? When someone comes in who you don’t want to talk to you can just iggy them, I wish I could iggy my neighbour!”
“Phew Harry,” she said as the car went past her, “that was really close.”
She continued to walk toward the end of the road, but she glanced back just in time to see the man from next door pulling into his driveway. “Well no chance of him driving past us again today that’s for sure, unless he’s planning on going out again later on, but by that time we should be well and truly home.”
“I’m not going to let him ruin this walk for me, no horrid neighbour, consider yourself iggied!”
The breeze had just begun to pick up as she got to the end of the road, but she saw a paddock full of beautiful wild flowers. They were just like the ones that grew in the grades on either side of the road and she could not resist the temptation to go closer to the paddock.
“Harry it’s just like on a postcard, they’re beautiful and they’re real. Let’s go in there Harry, let’s go lay down amongst the flowers.”
As she climbed the fence into the paddock, she began to feel the wind pressing against her back more and it reminded her of the wind giant.
She walked into the middle of the paddock and lay down with Harry, and he just sat with her because he sensed that the weather was turning bad and he wanted to stay right at her side. Kodi felt safe there in the middle of the paddock by herself with Harry, she felt that she was almost shielded from the world, well at least obscured from the world by the beauty around her. She just lay there with Harry watching the clouds drift hurriedly across the sky, the gray fast filling in the blue canvas. “Man it’s just like Paint in Microsoft XP,” she thought to herself as even more of the blue canvas was filled in with various shades of gray.
“It must be so windy way up there Harry for the clouds to be moving that fast. I used to have this thing about a wind giant Harry, when I was a kid I mean, you know, if the wind was on your back then you had to hurry to where it was you were going because the wind giant was chasing you. If the wind was in your face, then the wind giant was having a good day and you didn’t have to be afraid of him. Do you think that’s silly Harry? Someone told me about the wind giant when I was just little, and my sister Marli used to laugh at me about it. She even laughed at me about it once we’d grown up and met each other again. I think I sort of miss her Harry, I miss knowing that there is someone else in the world who is just like me. She died, someone killed her and no one really knows who did it. But that’s why memories are good because if I get lost in the missing her, then all I have to do is think of her and I can have her near. I never thought I’d miss her you know? She wasn’t all that nice sometimes, but I think that’s because she grew up in a pretty hard way; it can’t have been easy for her to lose her twin. But then Harry, maybe this is all bullshit because when I was little and I got taken away, I wasn’t sad to leave and she wasn’t sad to see me go. I just like to think we were both sad, but we weren’t. Look at the clouds Harry, I believe that one up there looks just like you.”
Kodi continued to lay there with Harry until there was no blue canvas left at all and it had instead been turned into a black, light gray, dark gray and white patchwork quilt. “An Amish quilt, but with no bright colours. What do you think that man from next door’s problem is huh? Why do you think he was so rude? Do you think it was just because we were on his land? I know that sometimes people can take an instant disliking to each other the second they meet, maybe that’s what happened? Maybe we’re meant to dislike each other? Except Harry, I don’t really dislike him. I mean he annoyed me, but I actually thought he was kind of cute looking…for a grouch anyway. Have you met his cat Lenore? Don’t you think she was kind of stunning looking? Well Harry, I’m a human and I thought she was stunning.”
Harry felt a drop of rain land on his nose and it made him sneeze, and then Kodi felt a few huge globs of rain fall onto her face. That was when she noticed that sky was no longer an Amish quilt, it was suddenly a very dark angry ominous looking sky.
“We should get home Harry because it’s getting really dark, and it’s kind of spooky too. Before you know it Harry I’m going to be looking around trying to spot the ravens and the Rottweilers!”
Just as she got to her feet there was a loud rumble that seemed to emit from somewhere in the distance and about fifteen seconds later the sky lit up with blue flashes of lightning and then the rain poured down from the sky. Kodi ducked back down in amongst the flowers, her heart beating loud and fast. “Harry I’m scared, I usually like thunder, but that doesn’t sound normal.”
Harry was a little terrified himself, he didn’t at all like the loud crashing sound that began to emit from the sky with regularity every few minutes or so. The sound was now coming from somewhere directly above them and it was furiously loud.
“It’s okay Harry, it’s just God’s light show, that’s all, we’ll be fine,” she said shaking with fear.
“I wonder how far from home we really are? It didn’t seem that far when we were walking, but I think we’re at least ten minutes away from the house. I wish I hadn’t come down here, I’m too scared to stand up and try to make it home. But it’s getting darker and darker; soon I won’t be able to see anything. Maybe I can just roll up into a little ball and keep Harry dry beneath me? I shouldn’t do that, I should go home, but there’s no one there either, so maybe we should just stay here?”
But Kodi still could not get herself to stand up and walk across the paddock to get to the road that would take her and Harry home. Before she knew it the whole of the earth was shrouded in the black of the night and Kodi couldn’t even see a hand in front of her face. She held onto Harry who had begun struggling, and she begged him, “Please Harry stay still, please don’t leave me here by myself.”
But she was holding onto him so tight that he couldn’t have made an escape even if his life had depended on it. The rumbling thunder, the crashing lightning and the driving rain seemed to go on forever and the rumbles and flashes were still increasing in frequency. She lay there shaking and thought back to the day where she had first smelled the rain coming. “How old was I, maybe four?”
The sudden sound of the thunder crashing overhead had scared the living daylights out of her twin, but she had looked to the sky and said, “See,” as the globs of rain had begun to fall from the sky.
“Very good little one,” he had said as she’d held on to his shirt cuff.
“But who was he? Was that my stepfather? No, he was never nice about anything, but it was that man, the man I used to see…when.”
“He wasn’t real, Harry, I made him up.”

Heathcliff had just put Alexi to bed when the first roll of thunder hit. “Wow it’s going to be a biggie storm. I wonder if that crazy girl from next door is home safe and sound yet?”
He decided to go down to his bathroom to look out of the window because that room gave him the best view of her house, and as he stared out of the window he could see no lights coming from over there.
“Could she have gotten caught out in the storm? Perhaps I’ll ring Troy and get him to go over there just to check?” he said out loud to himself.
Heathcliff got onto the phone and asked Troy to go over to Kodi’s place to have a look, “You know, if you see lights on then just leave, she doesn’t need to know we’re checking on her,” Heathcliff said.
“Well we’re not checking on her are we, you are,” Troy quipped.
Troy put on a coat and headed down his driveway and then walked the short distance down the road toward Kodi’s house. He saw Heathcliff standing at his window staring out into the darkness, so he flashed the torch a few times to let him know that he was on it.
Once he got to Kodi’s house he could see that there were no lights on, but he continued down the driveway just to be sure that there weren’t any lights on at the back of the house.
“At least if she’s here there’s no way she’s going to hear me walking on the shingle over this racket,” he thought.
Once he rounded the house near the porch he shone the torch up toward the door, and he could see that the door to the house was wide open but that everything was in total darkness. Troy walked up onto the porch and looked through the door but there were still no signs of life, so he went inside. He looked into her bedroom and checked the other rooms too but Kodi was nowhere to be found.
“This does not look promising, no Harry either.”
So left the house, walked across the driveway and he climbed the fence, taking the shortcut to Heathcliff’s house. As he climbed the next fence into Heathcliff’s property, he worried about Albion barking and waking the baby. But Albion knew Troy well and so he didn’t even bat an eyelid when he ventured up onto the porch amid the thunder, lightning and torrential rain.
Heathcliff saw his brother stepping onto the porch and so he opened the door and ushered him inside. “Was she there?”
Troy shook his head, “No, but her car’s there and the back door is wide open. When did you see her last?”
“At around 4.30 this afternoon, she was headed toward the end of the road with that savage beast of hers she likes to call Harry.”
“Where do you think she was going?” asked Troy.
“I’m not a mind reader Troy.”
“You didn’t stop and ask her, you didn’t stop and warn her about the storm?” Troy stood there gazing at Alexi lying on the floor with some toys. “Don’t you think she’s a wee bit small for wooden toys?”
“Gives her something to look at,” he said staring down at his daughter. He then looked up at Troy again and said, “besides, I had Alexi with me, anyway, and do you really think she would have listened to me?” Heathcliff stared at his brother hard, “What? Troy?”
“Have you had a run in with her already, aside from the out and out rudeness you displayed toward her at the picnic?”
“No, why would I have had a run in with her?” he asked staring at his brother quizzically. He could tell by the look on his brother’s face that he was not being believed. “Well okay, I sort of had a run in with her about a week ago. Remember when her cat snuck in here and ate Frank? Well the next day I saw her out in my paddock rubbing Sandanizta on her arm, so I went over there and tried to talk to her and it got out of hand. Then later he snuck back over here and ate a little yellow budgie.”
“He’s a cat Heathcliff, that’s what cats do,” said Troy incredulously. He could not believe his brother was upset at Kodi for what her cat had done by the very nature of being a cat.
“Well I know that, but when I told her about Frank it was all she could do not to laugh and she made me angry, so I let loose and scared her off.”
“You did what? I don’t believe this,” Troy said as he ran his hand through his long hair, “you scared her off? Why did you do that?”
“I told you right at the start that I wasn’t going to welcome her presence around here, I told you I’d discourage her at every turn.” Heathcliff stared at Troy trying to sound decidedly firm on his resolve to have nothing to do with his neighbour and then suddenly realising how pathetic he sounded.
“Tell me you at least had the decency to warn her about the rash?”
Heathcliff shook his head, “No, I didn’t warn her at all, but…”
“Oh Heathcliff...” said Troy as he turned toward the door to leave disgusted that his own brother would put his pride before the girl’s safety.
“Hey let me finish. I rang mother and told her I saw Kodi rubbing the stuff on her arm and mother made a call to ‘check up on her’. Mother just happened to warn her about the little purple flowers in the grass and what she should do if she should happen to come into direct contact with them.”
“Well that was big of you,” said Troy as he turned to face his brother as he opened the door to leave. “What’s the matter with you Heathcliff? I mean really, what’s the matter with you?” Troy began to get angry and impatient with his older brother.
Heathcliff didn’t really know what to say to him, he had really messed things up and now the girl was lost in a storm in the dark somewhere.
“We need to go and look for her,” said Heathcliff.
“Heathcliff, we don’t even know where she went beyond the end of the road. We have no way of knowing that either, I mean why didn’t you at least stop and warn her about the storm today when you saw her?”
“I don’t know Troy, I got caught up in what was the better thing to do for her and, well, for Alexi. Split second decisions and all that…I…”
“Or were you just too damn arrogant to stop at all? Never mind! Don’t answer that. I’m going to go and see Ed see what he thinks we should do.”
“What do you want me to do Troy?” asked Heathcliff feeling very foolish.
“What you always do when it comes to her Heathcliff, nothing!” With that Troy walked out of the door back into the storm.
“Great she’s been here not even two full weeks and I’m already getting into conflict over her. What am I doing?”
Heathcliff grabbed the phone and rang his mother Ems to come and look after Alexi so that he too could go out into the storm and look for the crazy girl from next door.
“She’s lost in the storm Heathcliff, how did that happen?”
“Don’t ask Mother, just please come and keep an eye on Alexi.”
While Heathcliff waited for his mother to arrive, he thought back to the day when the current situation got started for real. He remembered how he’d watched her; “Will she really go through with it, will he? The consequences will be devastating for them all if this madness isn’t stopped.”
She had sauntered up to the Chevy and she had taken something from his hand and put it under the rubbish bin before she’d gotten into the car. He noticed she was dressed nicely, but it hardly concealed her protruding belly, “Poor child,” he’d thought out loud to himself, “little one, what chance do you stand?”
She sat in the car smoking cigarette after cigarette with the blonde haired man, “Yeah, that’ll help baby grow healthy,” he said out loud again.
But he knew he was safe talking out loud, the only ones who would hear him were those who were meant to anyway. That was when he’d heard a voice behind him say “Boo!” and as the voice spoke, someone grabbed him and dug their fingers deep into his ribs. He turned around and stared straight into the face of Martha.
“Did I scare you?” she asked smiling widely at him.
“No, but I think my ribs will be bruised for a week.” He then reached out and hugged Martha to him, “How are you?”
“I’m doing great Heathcliff, how are you?”
“Good, well as good as good gets all things considered,” he said as he inclined his head briefly toward the Chevy parked across the road.
“So what are you doing in this neck of the woods?” she asked as he released her from his hug.
“Homework, just watching what’s happening, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. How about you?”
“Oh I have a pick up here in about twenty minutes,” she said staring at him, intrigued by what he had alluded to.
“You’re lucky it doesn’t have anything to do with the Chevy over there,” Heathcliff said to Martha as he pointed briefly toward the vehicle with the steamy windows.
“Gosh no Heathcliff, I have nothing to do with them.” Martha pointed toward the old building further along from where the Chevy was parked. “It’s number twenty-four on the second floor over there, elderly lady.”
Heathcliff nodded his head, “Full life, peaceful departure, it’s so nice when it’s like that. The thing across the road there, very bad business will happen if one of them doesn’t come to their senses.”
“Well, to be truthfully honest with you Heathcliff, I heard that something was going to happen soon. Do you think this is it?” she asked staring at the Chevy.
Heathcliff looked down at Martha briefly and then looked back over at the Chevy, “Um…yeah…maybe it’s…” He paused and lost all train of thought when he saw another woman sitting in the café across the way.
Martha noticed Heathcliff was staring at the café across the street. She stared at the bright neon sign flashing, Street Café, Est. 1982. “What a strange name to call a café. Café Italia, or maybe Café Bleu?” she said to herself, “but Street Café?” She then looked back at him and asked, “Heathcliff, are you okay?”
“What’s she doing here?” he asked completely oblivious to Martha.
“Who?” asked Martha following Heathcliff’s stare into the café, and she saw who he was staring at. “Her?” she asked.
“Yeah, she shouldn’t be here, what’s that in her hand?” he asked.
“Heathcliff, I’m confused, what are you talking about?” asked Martha.
“She has something in her hand Martha, I don’t know what it is, but I think I…can you see what it is?” he asked Martha.
“I can’t tell from here but I have a few minutes, I can check it out if you want?” she offered staring back at Heathcliff.
“Could you just wander up to the window and take a look? She can see us sometimes and I definitely don’t want her seeing me here.”
“Sure,” said Martha and she headed across the road to the café. Once she walked through the door, she made her way to the counter, and she asked for something she knew that they wouldn’t have. She then she circled the café and then walked right by the table where the woman sat.
“Can I help you?” the blonde woman asked as she stared up into Martha’s face.
“No thank you dear I thought you were someone else, but if I could have some of those sugar sachets that would be helpful,” Martha said as she took a good look at what the woman was holding in her hand. She noticed the green and red light shining on the device and then the woman handed her a handful of sugar sachets. “Thank you very much,” she said as she carefully and casually made her way across the café, and then out of the door.
When Martha got back to Heathcliff she said, “Sugar for my sweet,” as she handed Heathcliff the sachets,
“Thanks Martha, awfully saccharin of you,” he said smiling slightly as he tucked them into his pocket.
“She saw me,” she said as she stood beside Heathcliff just gazing at the Chevy.
“So long as she doesn’t see me. So what was she doing?” he asked.
“She has a recording device in her hand, she’s recording something.”
“Yeah but what?” asked Heathcliff as he briefly gazed down at Martha.
“Who knows, maybe the sounds in the café, I mean what does she do for a job?” asked Martha.
Then it dawned on Heathcliff, “No, she’s not recording what’s going on in there, she has something to do with what’s going on in the Chevy.”
“Like what, detective Heathcliff?” Martha teased.
“Like recording the conversation being had in that Chevy as we speak, and easy on the compliments Martha, detective!” he chuckled and then he smiled at Martha. He really liked her because she was always happy, laughing, funny and having fun. She knew how to make even the most furrowed sweating brow relax with a smile.
“Why would she do that?’ asked Martha who was a little perplexed by Heathcliff's assumptions.
“Insurance,” he said as he dug his hands deep into his pockets and began fiddling with the sugar sachets.
“For what?” she asked still confused.
“To make sure he doesn’t back out on the deal, I’d put money on it.”
“If you had any,” said Martha laughing.
“Yeah, if I had any,” he said as he smiled back at her.
“I don’t envy you your vocation sometimes Heathcliff, I don’t know how I’d cope when it’s like that. I can understand why Kaleb got out of it, that was so tough for him, and even Taite’s job isn’t easy. One second they’re on their way out ready to cross the mist, they get half way across and he’s told take him or her back again.”
“Taite has the right temperament for that side of things, but I couldn’t do it, I don’t even like doing this you know?” he said as he stared deeply into Martha’s eyes.
Martha touched Heathcliff lightly on his arm and noticed he was fiddling with something in his pocket. “If you break those sachets in your pocket there will be one yuck mess for you to clean up.”
Heathcliff signed, “I don’t know Martha, it’s just…”
Martha felt a huge surge of compassion for him and broke over top of his words saying, “I know you don’t like this vocation much, but someone has to do it, and you have to admit it Heathcliff, you’re good at it, haven’t lost one yet.”
As soon as she said it she wanted to bite her tongue, but Heathcliff ignored her inadvertent comment and replied, “Well Martha you do such a good job where you are that I hardly suspect you’ll ever have to deal with something like this again. Any pointers?”
“You know there’s not, but freewill huh Heathcliff? Sometimes I think it’s a real shame that we cannot interfere with it.”
“I know what you mean,” he said as he watched the woman get out of the car and saunter down the road to hail a cab.
The blonde woman came running out of the café behind the pregnant woman, “Kodi, Kodi wait for me, I got it, I got it all…” she’d called.
The woman turned on her and said, “Keep your voice down.”
“Did I just hear her say Kodi?” he asked himself, but the train of thought was temporarily halted when Martha asked, “Is that her Heathcliff?”
“Yes Martha, that’s her and the man driving, that might be him too, but I don’t know yet. I hope their plans fall apart, but as much as I hope for the best, I think this time might be it.”
“You worked hard with her for years Heathcliff, try not to take it personally okay,” advised Martha as she lightly touched his arm. “There is only so much we can do and you have done all that you can, please remember that much, whatever happens Heathcliff.”
The two women had got into a cab together and he watched it disappear around the corner. The blonde haired man then climbed out of his car and collected whatever it was that she had placed under the bin, and then he drove off too. Heathcliff stood there for a little while longer lost in his thoughts and was only dragged from them when Martha said, “Listen Heathcliff it’s time for me to go, but you take care okay? And let me know if there’s anything at all that I can do to help.”
“Thanks Martha,” he said without watching her walk away.
Heathcliff hoped the man would see sense before things went too far, but seldom did they ever see sense when they got into things that deeply.
“Kodi? Why would Kodi have anything to do with this and why would you of all people believe she actually could?” he asked himself as he stood there for a few minutes longer.
Then he heard the happy chatter between Martha and her pick up, so he turned and watched them heading off down the street to the waiting carriage. Martha turned and gave Heathcliff a little wave and so he waved back and headed on his way too.

Heathcliff shook his head to shake off the reverie of the memory. “And now she’s lost in a storm and it’s probably my fault. What’s next?” he asked as he heard his mother pull into the driveway and then come hurtling across the porch toward the door to get out of the rain. As she opened the door to her son’s house, the wind-chimes in the trees sounded very loud as the wind made them crash against each other producing weird little wind tunes.
Emily marched across the lounge floor as she removed her coat, turned to her son and asked, “How did this happen Heathcliff? Wasn’t your rudeness at the picnic bad enough? You know something son?” she asked, and then continued without giving Heathcliff a chance to respond, “I can’t believe you did that, just got up and left the picnic as soon as she arrived. What was she supposed to think of you? I mean don’t you have any regard for her…”
Heathcliff rudely cut over the top of his mother’s speech and snapped, “I don’t have time for this now mother, I have to get to Troy’s pronto!”
Emily was annoyed by her son’s abrasive tone, but at the same time she realised that it was neither the place nor the time for recriminations. “Oh well, you just go Heathcliff, Alexi will be fine and we can talk about this later. Oh, and by the way, your father is over there too.”
“Great,” said Heathcliff under his breath.
Heathcliff donned a coat and set out to his brother’s place down the driveway and across the road. He was in a hurry to get over there, but at the same time he was dreading it. His stupid pride had played a huge part in the current situation occurring in the first place, “I should have stopped and warned her. And mother wants to talk about this later? I bet she’s not the only one who’ll want to talk about this later?”
Once he got to Troy’s house a search party had been formed, but recriminations were underlying in everything that was being said.
“We didn’t keep a close enough eye on her,” said Saul, “we all know that when cases like these come in that we must be vigilant.”
“It’s not like the storm can hurt her is it?” asked Troy.
“Look, the fact she hasn’t crossed yet is in our favour, she can’t be physically hurt by anything here, but we don’t want her crossing the river if she’s headed that way. We don’t want her running into the wrong people,” Saul looked at Ed and Ed just looked to the floor.
“You said they were there because of what they’d done, you didn’t say they were dangerous,” said Heathcliff.
“The chances of her crossing the river and running into one of them are more remote than her suddenly sprouting wings to fly. And yes, for the most part they can be trusted to do what they’ve been told should this situation ever occur, and they know the penalty if they don’t follow the rules. Nothing bad’s going to happen to her, we just need to get out there and make sure she’s okay,” replied Saul.
“Hang on Saul, she got a rash from the Sandanizta when she rubbed it on her arm,” said Heathcliff.
Saul conceded that Heathcliff may well have a valid point, but despite his annoyance at the man, he decided it was more important to stay focussed on finding the girl. “Okay so maybe she’s starting to experience some slight effects of things here, but I don’t think that’s indicative of her having crossed over to any great extent. Let’s just get out there, find her and get her home.”
“We know she was heading toward the end of the road, and the only places she can go to from there are fields and that damn river,” said Ed quietly.
“Yeah but I don’t think she would have followed the road, and I think even she would have had to look at the sky and see that the weather was packing in,” said Troy.
“So maybe she’s just sitting it out somewhere?” suggested Martha, “I mean if I was her that’s what I would do.”
“She’s not your every day girl Martha, nothing she has ever done could really be described as predictable,” said Heathcliff.
“Well maybe if someone had warned her,” said Joe staring directly at Heathcliff.
“Great! Father’s getting in on the act now. This is going to be a very long evening thank you Kodi Madison…again! And anyway, why is he so concerned about some girl? That’s harsh Heathcliff, everyone’s worried about her and you caused this, not Kodi, so get your act together.”
“We could take the horses and spread out over the fields,” said Saul breaking through the icy silence between father and son.
“I will head up the road South just in case she backtracked and we missed it,” said Joe as he stared hard at his son.
“I think on foot would be best. Sitting up on horses, well we might miss something we would normally see in the daylight,” said Ed.
“Ok so that’s settled, let’s just get out there and do it,” said Troy.
They all set out in the rain and spent two hours out in the storm looking for her and calling out her name. No matter where they went, nor how loudly they called out, they couldn’t find her, because she was nowhere near where they were looking. Eventually it was decided that the search was proving too fruitless to be continued.
Everyone returned to Troy’s house to see what the next few hours would bring, and everyone sat around quietly talking, nervously awaiting word from somewhere.
“Surely she’s going to surface somewhere Troy?” Heathcliff said as he balanced Tay on his knee. He was becoming increasingly worried that something may in fact have befallen the girl had she made it into the river, and the more time that elapsed, the more certain he felt that she had in fact stumbled into the river.
“Do you think she could have made it to the river Troy?” asked Heathcliff.
Troy sat there becoming more annoyed by the second at the thought of all that had passed so far between Heathcliff and Kodi. “Kodi knows no better, but Heathcliff? Please make him stop talking to me because I’m about ready to let him have it.”
“Troy?” asked Heathcliff.
Troy stared hard at Heathcliff and asked, “What do you care of what’s happened to her? Seriously Heathcliff, what does it matter to you?”
Heathcliff stared directly at Troy and said, “I do care what happens to her Troy.”
“You care, you don’t care, you care then you don’t care. Make up your mind brother, either you care or you don’t,” snapped Troy.
Heathcliff shook his head, “It’s not that simple Troy, I wish it was, but it’s not.”
“Easy, you want to talk about easy? Hmm, well what about how easy it seems to be for you to throw your responsibilities onto other people? What about the way you find it so easy to decide that something is too hard for you and so you pass it on to someone else and let them deal with it instead? Always you let your emotions get the better of you, and you just try to walk away. You did it with Tay, you did it when Annie died, you tried to do it with Alexi and now it’s Kodi’s turn…again, I might add. You want everything to be easy, well let me tell you something brother; nothing that is worth having comes easy. The sooner you wake up and realise that Heathcliff, the better off we’ll all be including that poor girl lost in the storm out there somewhere.”
“What in the world are you going on about Troy? The only time I EVER shunned my responsibility was when…”
“Don’t you even go there with me. I went and tried to get her, I got the baby, I have watched over her since she arrived here, yet she’s YOUR soul mate, not mine, yours.”
“Well you can have her because…”
Troy stood to his feet and yelled, “I WISH I COULD HAVE HER! SHE’D BE A DARN SIGHT BETTER OFF WITH ME THAN SHE EVER WILL BE WITH YOU! IF SHE WERE MY SOUL MATE HEATHCLIFF, I’D BE THERE EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY WITH HER. SHE WOULDN’T BE ALONE AND LONELY, AND SHE MOST CERTAINLY WOULDN’T BE LOST!”
Tay was so frightened by his father’s outburst that he climbed off Heathcliff’s knee and ran to his Papa Joe.
Heathcliff stood up and looked his brother in the eye and yelled, “WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”
Joe cuddled his grandson feeling powerless to stop the argument between his sons that was unfolding before his very eyes. He loved them both, but they were both out of line. Joe could defend neither one, so he instead looked to Saul and nodded his head to indicate that, as their father, he could take neither side. Saul knew that in a moment or two it would fall to him to bring the fight to a stop.
“WELL SHE’LL NEVER GET LOVE OUT OF A STONE WILL SHE HEATHCLIFF? AND THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE, A HEART OF STONE! I WAS THERE WITH HER; I WATCHED WHAT THEY DID TO HER…and you? You couldn’t even bring yourself to be there for her…" Troy could no longer speak as the tears cascaded down his face.
Heathcliff moved closer to Troy and quietly said, “Fine, have her.”
Martha very calmly said, “Come on Troy, Heathcliff, neither of you means anything that you are saying.”
Troy ignored Martha and moved even closer to his brother and said, “Heathcliff you really make me angry the way you…” Troy was cut off by Saul.
“THAT’S ENOUGH TROY! ENOUGH HEATHCLIFF!” Saul walked toward the brothers and stepped in between them, “You both have responsibilities and you will work together to get things worked out for Kodi.” Saul then turned his attention to the elder of the brothers, “And Heathcliff, grow up for goodness sakes boy, she is your soul mate whether you want her or not, and she will be across that paddock from you for as long as it takes.”
Heathcliff looked to the floor in an effort to shut Saul’s words out, so Saul got up very close to Heathcliff’s face. “I know you lost Annie, I know it hurt you beyond any measure I can possibly comprehend, but Kodi will not pay for what happened to Annie. You have no right to exact that toll on her, am I making myself clear to you Heathcliff?”
Heathcliff stepped back a little from Saul and weakly said, “But Troy has no right to…”
“Oh please, I have no right to what?” asked Troy bitterly.
Troy sat down completely frustrated by his brother’s attitude and the icy silence that was between Joe and Heathcliff extended itself to include Troy and Heathcliff. Saul decided that enough was enough.
“Ok that’s it, the nonsense will stop now! Understand? You are…you three, you are fathers, sons and brothers, you will not allow dissention to enter into the relationships that exist between you, am I making myself clear?”
Then Saul turned his attention to Troy, “Heathcliff has made mistakes, but he is not alone in this Troy, is he?” asked Saul. Troy sat there and said nothing and then Saul continued. “To stand here Troy and to say that you wish Kodi was your soul mate, what of Ruby? Do you covet your brother’s soul mate? Of course you do not Troy, so do not speak as though you do. You speak of emotions overtaking your brother except that you fail to realise that they overtake you too. And Heathcliff, I am not finished with you boy not by a long shot, but we’ll discuss the rest later. Now the three of you go into that room over there, shake hands, embrace, do whatever it is that you have to do to heal this rift between you. Do not come out again until it is healed,” ordered Saul.
The three men went into the other room to talk things through, leaving Martha and the others to endure an awkward silence, which was broken only by Saul reassuring them all that everything would be ok.
Ed had disappeared somewhere between Troy and Heathcliff arguing and Saul breaking it up. Everyone just assumed he had gone home.

Kodi got up from the ground in the pitch dark and said to Harry, “We have to try to get home. If I can work out which side of the fence we came in on then we’ll be fine.”
Kodi stared hard at the fence every time the lightning struck, but there was not enough light long enough for her to be able to conclude anything for sure, so she took a gamble. “That way Harry, that will take us back to the road. Man it’s cold now, I’m freezing, but you’re helping to keep me warm tucked down my top like that.”
As she made her way across the paddock to the fence in the dark she could feel the flowers smacking against her legs as the wind tossed them too and fro, “Teach me to wear cut off jeans, those flowers sting when they hit you.”
She was almost at the fence when she thought she heard someone calling her name, but the sound was drowned out by the roaring thunder and crashing lightning, and once she got to the fence she realised there was a line of trees.
“There were no trees where we climbed the fence, so we must be on the wrong side of the paddock, so we’ll go back the other way.”
Kodi began to walk back the other way, but then she tripped over something, as best as she could tell it was an old fallen tree, and as she got back up to her feet she didn’t have any idea which way she had been walking to begin with. “I didn’t squash you did I Harry? Oh well, we’ll try walking the other way.”
So Kodi headed back toward what she thought was the other way, unfortunately she found herself back by the fence with the trees again.
“This is hopeless Harry, we’re lost that’s all there is to it. Okay so we’ll cross this fence and see where it takes us to.”
Kodi carefully climbed the fence and began to tentatively walk forward through the trees, and just as she was beginning to become confident about walking through them in the dark, the ground seemed to disappear from beneath her. The next thing she knew she was sliding down what appeared to feel like a huge slope and she could hear the sound of rushing water. As she tumbled, sticks hit her in the face, she rolled over stones and small logs and eventually Harry and her became separated. Kodi panicked at the idea that she’d lost Harry, and then before she knew it, she had stopped falling and found herself floating.
The only thing she could think was, “Where’s Harry?” but then she realised she really needed to concentrate on staying afloat. Every time the lightning crashed she caught a glimpse of the other side of the river and so she attempted to slowly swim her way across to the other side. The swim across to the other side was remarkably easy considering the river was in flood, but Kodi put her ability to cross it down to sheer determination. She had no idea how long she had been in the river nor how far away from the flower paddock she had drifted while in the water.
Once her feet were able to touch the riverbed again she carefully made her way out of the water and sat on the riverbank for a little while. As she sat on the other side of the river she thought back to the time when she had learned how to cross a river that was swift or in flood.
There had been five of them, five kids per team, and each team found had a wooden pole each. The five children each held onto the pole in a line and they had crossed the river diagonally, that way no one had fallen, “Didn’t stop us upending the jelly in the tent and getting it all over our sleeping bags though did it? Why am I sitting here thinking about this? I need to find my way home and I need to find Harry. Okay, forget Harry for now, he’ll probably be fine but I still need to get home.”
Kodi headed up to the top of the bank of the river using grass and other plant life to aid her ascent up the steep bank. Once she got to the top she found herself in another paddock, but there were no flowers that she could feel. It felt like it was just long grass; similar to the paddock by her house except it was cutty grass. With every step she took, she felt the grass whipping across her legs inflicting very small paper-like cuts. The lighting flashes were decreasing in frequency, the roars of thunder were now way off in the distance, and the rain had just become a light drizzle, but it was still dark, so Kodi was edging her way ahead very slowly.
After walking for about ten minutes Kodi finally spotted a light in the distance so she began to cautiously make her way toward it. As she got closer to the light source she began to be a little more confident and a few times she tripped over objects in the grass that she couldn’t see, mostly logs and stones.
Eventually Kodi was able to make out that the light source was a house, a rather large house, and so she decided to approach it, “I’m lost, what other choice do I have?”
As she climbed the fence into the property she heard dogs start to bark and she didn’t know whether they were tied up, caged or just running around free. They didn’t come rushing over to the fence as she climbed it, so she figured it was probably safe to cross the lawn toward the house. As she neared the house the dogs began to growl viciously, and then a light came on illuminating the dark lawn. Kodi could see that the dogs were not tethered at all, and in fact, they were just sitting there staring straight at her. She knew there was no point to running because they would probably give chase and she’d get hurt, so she froze on the spot.
A man came out onto the veranda and called out into the darkness, “Is anyone there?”
Kodi stared at the man, he had brown hair and he looked to be around forty five years old give or take a few years. Kodi wasn’t sure whether she should let him know she was there or not and by the time she decided to say something, the man turned to walk back inside again.
“Excuse me,” she called, “I got lost when the storm hit and I don’t know where I am.”
The man turned back around and peered into the darkness, “What’s your name, where have you come from?” he asked sternly.
“My name is Kodi, I’m from the city but I live down, down…um…you know what I don’t recall the name of the road, I just know where it is.”
“Come over to the porch where I can see you,” he demanded gruffly.
“Your dogs, they might…”
“My dogs will only bite you if I command them to, so come over here where I can see you.”
Kodi moved cautiously across the lawn toward the man standing on the veranda. Once she got to the steps she walked up them and onto the veranda a few feet away from where he was standing. That was when she noticed the stars tattooed onto his knuckles, and the sight of them awakened something somewhere in her memory. She’d seen the tattoos before but she couldn’t for the life of her work out where, but he had been there, the man with the dark hair, her imaginary friend from childhood.
“What happened to you?”
She stared into his eyes and they were steely blue mean looking eyes. Initially she was so busy trying to remember where she’d seen those tattoos that she didn’t respond, and when she did she said, “What happened? Um nothing, I just went out walking and got lost.”
“You don’t belong here, you’re not one of us, you’re one of them.”
“One of whom?” she asked wondering what on earth the strange man was talking about.
“One of them who don’t know where they belong.”
“I got lost, lost in the dark, in the storm and I lost my cat, and I can’t find my way home because I don’t know where I am.”
Kodi was confused by what he was saying and the air of familiarity of distant memory was alighting in her brain causing her to feel really strange and kind of scared.
“Who do you know here?” he asked glaring at her, seemingly put out by her presence on his veranda.
“What do you mean here? I don’t even know where I am.”
“Names, do you know any names?” he said clicking his fingers at her, and he was starting to give Kodi the creeps a little, “or maybe it’s just the cold?” she asked herself.
“Um, yeah, there’s Mrs. Willis,” she offered.
“Nah, I don’t know no Mrs. Willis, anyone else?” he asked impatiently.
“And um there’s oh yeah his name’s Ed.”
“Oh, you know Edgar? Good,” he said as he nodded his head, “well you just sit yourself down there and I’ll get hold of Ed to come and retrieve you, take you back where you belong.”
“I’m freezing cold, could I please come in out of the cold, maybe I could just stand in your doorway?” Kodi was desperate to warm up because she was freezing cold.
The man looked her up and down and then shook his head, “No, you stay there on the veranda with the dogs, I don’t want your kind in my house,” he said gruffly as he walked back inside and slammed the door.
Kodi felt really uncomfortable and half-thought about looking for some other house, but as she looked out into the darkness she couldn’t see a thing.
“My kind, what’s my kind? That man from next door said the same thing, he said ‘my kind’ too, what do they mean?”
Kodi sat there shivering, but the man never came out of his house again and Kodi sat there for over half an hour freezing cold waiting for, well she didn’t know what she was waiting for. She could hear muffled sounds coming from the house and she got the impression he was watching some kind of horror movie because she could hear the muffled sounds of screams.
She wandered across the veranda and tried to look into the windows to see if she could see what it was that he was watching, but the curtains were too heavy to see through. All that could be seen was different flashes of light, mostly reds, “Must be a horror movie,” she said as she stared back across to the other side of the veranda where the dogs were lying.
“He’s kind of creepy,” she said when she got back over beside them and sat down.
The dogs stared at her and they seemed as though they were guarding her, as opposed to protecting him, watching her every movement as though they were aware of every heartbeat. Next thing she knew she had fallen asleep and was dreaming of being in her own bed with Harry curled up at her feet.
She awoke suddenly with a fright, and the dogs lifted their heads to stare at her, and she stared back at them for a few seconds and they didn’t seem so vicious laying on the veranda stretched out the way they were.
Kodi looked up to the sky and it seemed that it was beginning to clear up because she could see the moon breaking through the clouds and it looked eerie but beautiful.
While she was gazing up at the sky she became aware of the sound of hoofs on the gravel somewhere, and as she peered out into the night she could see two lights. They were like gas lanterns mounted on the side of something, “Is that a horse and carriage?” she asked herself disbelieving that there could even be a horse and carriage anywhere in this day and age that was actually being put to use.
Her suspicions were soon confirmed when the carriage came to a stop at the front of the veranda and who should step out but Ed.
Kodi just stared at him and the carriage disbelieving, and the diver who sat atop the seat on the front of the carriage tilted his hat to Kodi and said, “Madam.”
Kodi just stared at him, and Ed said, “Come on then Miss Kodi, into the carriage with you, ‘tis warm in there and you are almost blue with the cold.”
Ed offered her his hand as she climbed the step to get into the carriage, which she took, feeling as though she had travelled right back in time to the 1700s or some time near that era.
“This is beautiful Ed, is this yours?”
“Yes Miss Kodi,” he said smiling at her.
“Why don’t you just drive a car like everyone else?” she ran her hand over the smooth velvet seat beside her where Ed couldn’t see.
“I like this mode of travel Miss Kodi and the environment enjoys it a lot better too.”
“That man back there…he…”
“How did you come to be lost in the storm Miss Kodi?” Ed asked very quickly changing the subject.
“I just went out for a walk and I stayed out too long I think. I lost my cat.”
Kodi had had images running through her mind of Harry wet, lost, alone and frightened somewhere out in the cold dark night.
“Oh never fear Miss Kodi, your cat is probably already at home curled up fast asleep,” he said sensing her concern for her beloved pet.
“I hope so. Who was that man back there, he was really weird and sort of grumpy. Is everyone here grumpy?”
The subject could no longer be avoided and so Ed said, “Oh that man is Charles, and no not everyone here is grumpy.”
Ed hardly blamed her for thinking everyone there was grumpy though, between Heathcliff and Charles, she’d hardly been led to believe anything different.
“He wasn’t very friendly, wouldn’t even let me stand in the doorway out of the cold. He’s got these weird star tattoos on his knuckles and I think I have seen something like that before but I don’t know where from.”
“He’s not allowed to take anyone into his house Miss Kodi, he is under, well what you would term as house arrest where you come from. As for the tattoos, many people have those Miss Kodi, they’re nothing out of the ordinary.”
“What, like on home detention or something?” asked Kodi thinking Ed was probably right about the tattoos.
“Yes, like that,” Ed looked out of the window trying to pick his words very carefully.
“Why?”
Ed smiled inwardly because he just knew the curious Kodi Madison would never just leave a subject uninvestigated. “Because he did some terrible things Miss Kodi, things I would rather not discuss with a lady, needless to say he is a predator. He will live out his life in isolation. He has everything he needs, requires or wants, but he is not allowed to have company inside the house, ever. He is allowed male company outside of the house, but he is never to have women or children to visit, and that is why he would not allow you into his house because he’s forbidden to do that, ever.”
“And it will be like that for the rest of his life?”
“Yes,” said Ed staring at Kodi kindly, but it wasn’t exactly the truth of the matter and he really didn’t feel he could really say too much more about the longevity of Charles’s predicament without having to venture into unpleasant matters. Unpleasant matters he would not be happy discussing with anyone in Kodi’s situation.
“But he’s young, he could live until he’s ninety, and he has to stay by himself for the rest of his life? What about a wife or children?”
“No wife or child will be given to him Kodi, he took what was not his to take and that is the price he paid for continuing to do that which he was asked to cease doing. He was given every opportunity to stop, he chose to continue anyway.” Ed stared back at the window again.
“He knew this was going to happen?” Kodi was amazed that someone would choose to do something knowing what the outcome would be to his or her future.
Ed faced Kodi again, “Yes, the consequences of his actions were clearly spelled out to him, and he was told if he did it again then he would be isolated for the rest of his life. Yet he did it again anyway and there he is.”
“The rest of his life? That could be a really long time Ed.”
“You have no idea Miss Kodi.”
“Ed?”
“Yes Miss Kodi,” asked Ed.
“Why do you call me Miss Kodi, why don’t you just call me Kodi?”
“Where I come from Miss Kodi, it is impolite to refer to a lady by her first name until you have at known her for at least a year.”
“Wow, that’s weird Ed. Is it rude for me to call you Ed then?”
“No Miss Kodi it is not rude of you to call me Ed, but if you had come from where I came from then it would be.”
“Um, Ed, I wanted to say sorry about what happened at the picnic the other day, I felt really bad about it and…”
“No need to apologise Miss. Kodi, it was not your fault, sometimes these things just happen.”
Kodi sat there feeling relieved that Ed was obviously not bothered by her little performance at the picnic, but she wanted to keep the conversation going with Ed.
“So where do you come from Ed?” she asked Ed curious to hear what he was going to say.
“It’s a place not too different from where you come from Kodi, just we’re all a little bit more old school where I came from, that is all. And please, just continue to call me Ed,” he said as he smiled at Kodi.
“So, Ed, Charles did really bad things and kept on doing them even after he was told what would happen to him, and now he has to live alone for the rest of his life?”
“All the rules in society and life are not the same here and we all know that, but she doesn’t. How in the world am I ever supposed to explain things to her? I suppose, the same way it was explained to me. No ones destiny is out of their hands really, at the end of the day. Well sure you don’t really control how you leave life, but you have control over where you might go once you’ve left. Just take Charles for example, he’d been given what most people never got, a chance to change his destiny. It had been carefully explained to him that what he was doing was diabolical, that he was nearing death anyway but that he needed to stop what he was doing and right it the best he could before he left that life. Charles who knew everything opted not to do that, so Saul tried explaining to him what the consequences would be if he did not change his ways, but he laughed and jeered at Saul. He told Saul that no one tells him what to do, that they never had and that they never will. Freewill, we can’t interfere with that, but sometimes I sure wish we could. And there are people in the world that don’t care about others, there’s a lot of them in fact. They plain and simple coldly don’t care about what they do to others or how they make others feel; they don’t care that their actions really hurt them, even maim them, they have no conscience. Sometimes it’s not their fault too, sometimes their childhood experiences predispose them to the life that they live, but still, sooner or later everyone learns the difference between right and wrong. People make a conscious choice to be who they are, to do what they do and to believe what they believe, and the responsibility and consequences generally lie solely with the individual, except in a few rare cases, but Charles’s case wasn’t one of those. Yes, sooner or later everyone hits the wall and it is time to walk across the mist.
When Charles arrived through the mist (after that little girl’s daddy shot him outside the courthouse) I took him to his new home, and initially he didn’t really care about the consequences. But even fifteen years is a long time (yet relatively short when compared to eternity), and Charles’s torment is that he’d had his chance and he just didn’t take it. And you young Miss Kodi, look at what freewill did to you, it led you down a path so terrible that you don’t even know it yet. And what will the consequences be for those actions Miss Kodi? You can’t just close the door and turn the page.”
“Are there others around here like him?” Kodi asked, breaking into Ed’s thoughts. It seemed to Kodi that Ed was miles away in his thoughts as he stared out the window across the moonlit fields. She was unsure as to whether she should even disturb him, but she wanted to know, and so she said his name again just to remind him that she had spoken.
“There are others, they all live on this side of the river, and that’s why it would be preferable that you stay away from crossing the river. Everything you need is on the other side of it anyway.”
“I didn’t mean to cross the river Ed, I fell in,” Kodi blushed with embarrassment.
“‘Tis alright Miss Kodi, you did nothing wrong, but now that you know about the river, I trust you will remain on our side of it, yes?” Ed asked smiling kindly at the girl.
“Yes Ed, I don’t ever want to run into someone like him again, he was kind of creepy. Are they really bad people Ed?”
Ed was relieved to hear that Kodi had found Charles creepy, it meant that her intuition was reliable and he knew they’d have no further problems with Kodi and the river or the isolation zone.
“It’s not that they are bad now, but that they did things and chose not to stop when given the opportunity to. That makes it hard for other people to be around them in any kind of safety, so we just keep them separate from us, not to punish them, but simply to keep everyone safe, that’s all.”
“It’s taking us ages to get back to my place, how far did I wander?”
“Miles out of your way Kodi, miles. It was the river that carried you so far from home.”
“I wasn’t in the river that long,” said Kodi perplexed.
“It may not have seemed like a long time Kodi, but you are at least two days walk from your house.”
“Two days? How’s Harry going to get home?” Kodi found it difficult to comprehend that she had wandered that far away from where she was supposed to be or even where she had thought she was.
“Never fear Miss Kodi, if Harry didn’t go into the river with you, then he is only about a three or four hour walk from your house.”
“So how long is it going to take us to get home?”
“A few hours Miss Kodi, perhaps you should try to sleep now?”
Ed pulled a blanket down from the back of the carriage and handed it to Kodi, and she snuggled up on the other seat with it and began to feel very tired. Just as she was dropping off to sleep she said to Ed, “Charles and that man who lives next door to me, they both said something strange to me. They said, my kind’, what did they mean by ‘my kind’ Ed?” she asked sleepily.
“City slickers Kodi, they simply mean that you are a city slicker, that’s all,” Ed patted her leg reassuringly as he spoke, but Kodi was asleep by then anyway.
“Yes you sleep Miss Kodi and maybe most of what has happened tonight will slip gently from your memory, perhaps you will believe it all to be a dream? I’m so glad she didn’t ask me more questions about why she wasn’t allowed to go inside Charles’s house. How could I tell her what really goes on inside that house, the torment, the anguish? Those pictures that play on the walls, the faces of his victims, their cries, every day, every second for eternity he will live with what he did until he can truly stand it no more and comes to true repentance for what he did. How do I tell you that, if not for the stubbornness of Heathcliff in his younger years, your face too may have been one that played on those walls?
Only Charles can stop his torment, his self-inflicted torment. Through his stubbornness he suffers. He blames his parents, his friends, the drugs and anything else he thinks he can lumber the blame on, but the choice to do what he did was his and his alone as is the torment he lives with now. But he can stop it any time he wishes, just like Amon did, and Amon, the changes in that man have been astounding. No he will never have children, but one day he will have a wife, companionship, maybe even more responsibility. ‘Tis truly heart warming to see someone come to true repentance and forgiveness for what they chose to do (even after they were warned to stop) and everyone gets warned in situations like that.
Amon had been a truly broken man by the time he came to the place where he fully comprehended what he’d done. His remorse was so deep that the man had fallen into great despair that he could not fix the damage he had wrought. He could not erase the carnage he had created through his hate, through his belief that one ethnicity was truly greater than any other, and through the genocide he had participated in. And it was Saul who spoke to him that day, and even he, the great wordsmith, could not get through to Charles before he died. I hate that things have to be this way sometimes, but I do not make the rules.”
Ed stuck his head out of the window, “Amon, how far are we from the house?” called Ed to the driver.
“Not far Sir, perhaps another half of the hour,” Amon replied as he turned his head to face his employer.

Word had already been sent to the others that Kodi had been found safe and well even though she’d been found some place they’d all have preferred not.
“No more Heathcliff, no more. Get your head together son,” said his father sternly but lovingly, the argument between both father and sons healed.
“I know that this is not easy for you, but you have responsibilities whether you like them or not Heathcliff, and it’s up to you to do your part. You should have stopped and warned her about the storm. The picnic fiasco was not acceptable either; you could have at least stayed long enough to be formally introduced to her. No more of this Heathcliff, are we really clear on this? Her safety is paramount, and this is not just for Heathcliff, this is for everyone here. Regardless of how it might put us out it is only for a time, so I don’t think it’s too much to ask that we all exercise a little more care with this situation,” said Saul.
Heathcliff acknowledged what Saul had said, apologised and went on his way home. He had not been admonished for his conduct in years, not since he tripped her up and caused the cut upon her forehead. He felt a little ashamed that after so long Saul had had to speak to him regarding responsibilities and behaviour at all.
“Man did he yell at me afterwards for asking, no I demanded, for demanding he strike that diabolical man down. I had never heard him yell like that and I have never since heard him yell that way, oh my goodness was he angry with me. I was pretty young and kind of arrogant at the time. Just strike him down, just strike him down, phew, I’d never dare utter those words now. But I didn’t understand then, well Saul sure made sure I understood my place then. I should know better now, I do know better now, I have to make an effort with the girl, I have to try.”
Troy followed Heathcliff out onto the porch of the big old white house, “Don’t worry about him too much big brother, he’ll be over it by tomorrow. And again, I’m sorry that I said the things that I said earlier. I was scared, hurt, frustrated and angry, and not really at you. The situation seems to have wound me up pretty good too. ”
“Troy, I’m sorry too, and not all the things you said were out of line. I have to start trying to see past my fear, and I don’t know why I’m so scared Troy, but this whole thing kind of terrifies me, ya know?”
“You went through something pretty devastating Heathcliff, your fear is understandable. I think I have an idea of what you are feeling, but just please don’t hang onto anything I said, I didn’t mean them the way they came out. As for Saul, well Saul’s Saul, it’s his job to keep the peace.”
“Yeah, but I still feel like a little kid that just got his wrist smacked, you know and that’s kind of embarrassing at my age.”
“You’re not the only one, he had a go at everyone. I too got some of his wrath,” said Troy meekly.
“I suppose you did. Well I feel much better knowing I’m not the only one in the firing line.” The brothers then embraced and went their separate ways, Heathcliff to his house and then Troy toward Kodi’s house.
The carriage pulled into Kodi’s driveway and Troy was there in time to help Ed get the girl into her house and into her bed. Harry was already back and curled up in his basket. Troy shut and locked the door behind him and they all headed off to their homes relieved that Kodi had been found safe and well and that not much harm had been caused.
Heathcliff watched from the darkness of his bathroom as Troy and Ed made their way down her driveway toward their respective homes.

A few days later one early evening, Kodi was sitting out on the swing with Harry trying to cool down. The weather was stifling and she was trying to read another Poe story, The Cask of Amontillado when she heard her neighbour drive off in his vehicle.
As the evening progressed and she became even more uncomfortable with the heat, she decided to return to ‘his’ property. It wasn’t out of a curiosity for him; it had nothing to do with him, but out of the need to cool down in his pool that she stole across the paddock, through the trees, over the fence and across the lawn to the pool. She had her escape route all mapped out in her head by the time she got there, so if he were to return unexpectedly it would be no biggie.
“Along the back of the sunflower garden, under the trees, across the fence and back here. Worse case scenario I will have to sneak down his driveway to get out. So long as Albion isn’t sniffing around then all should be well. But what if Albion is out? What if he decides to give me a taste of things Omen style? Shut up Kodi, why do you always think of worse case scenarios? Why are you even taking this risk in the first place? It’s not your property, it’s not your pool, you’ve got no right to be going there uninvited and if you get caught then you deserve everything you get. Good angel and bad angel you can both sod off because I’m capable of making my own decision without you two duking it out on my shoulders.”
She looked toward the driveway and saw that his car had not returned, so she knew she was alone, there’d be no ‘he’ and no Albion, or Harry to screw things up either for that matter. Just as she was making her way to the pool gate she ran into Lenore and so she bent down and picked her up for a cuddle.
“You won’t tell him will you Lenore? Because if you do he’ll probably finish me off. I swear Lenore if I had a dollar for every time I got caught swimming in pools where I shouldn’t be I’d be able to buy, well, a brand new CD anyway. The worse time was with Jolene and oh man was that funny. We snuck into the school pool and while we were in there the security guard showed up. Jolene thought it would be a good idea to hide on the roof of the changing sheds, so that’s what we did. When the security guard shone his torch up there straight into Joel’s face he said, “Hey you, what are you doing up there?”
Jolene she just looked straight back at him and innocently said, “Who me? I’m sunbathing.”
The security guard made us climb down and he asked us our addresses and we lied because we were scared he was going to tell our parents on us. He gave us a ride home but because we lied we got dropped off on the wrong side of town and we had to walk almost an hour to get home.
Well at least I’m not far from home this time eh Lenore?” Kodi put the cat down as she walked through the pool gate.
The moon was full in the sky so she had plenty of light to see by, and so there under the moonlight she stripped off her clothes and slipped into his pool. The water was as cool and as refreshing as she had imagined it would be and she slowly swam up and down the pool enjoying the sensation of the water gliding against her completely naked body.
As she slowly swam beneath the moonlight her thoughts soon easily turned to him and his nakedness. She imagined his kiss, his hands touching her naked body, perhaps his fingers touching her thighs, “Phew,” she said out loud, “snap out of it already!” she scolded to herself, “he’s an ogre!”
But her breathing had intensified to the point where she would have entertained a liaison with him ogre or not. “Oh man, what am I?”
She continued on with her swim and tried to give him no more thought. Her mind drifted back to the time she first did swimming at school and she remembered her little red pair of togs. Then she remembered when she first learned to do backstroke and hit her head on the end of the pool because no one warned her she had reached the end yet.
Lastly the one thing she remembered was nearly drowning when she was small; “How I didn’t get scared out of ever going back into the water again after that is beyond me. I obviously didn’t scare easily then, so why do I scare so easily now? Makes no sense.”
She continued to swim slowly up and down the pool until she began to grow tired of it.
He heard the sound of water being swirled around, and in his half sleep state he wondered whether he had left the pool gate open and Albion had gone for another swim? After a while the sound became too consistent for him to ignore, so he rolled over onto his back and just listened. He sat up in his bed and thought to himself, “Someone is definitely in the pool and I bet its Albion.”
He began to get out of bed and noticed the moonlight flooding the room, but he tripped over Albion as he climbed out of the bed, which easily answered his question, so who was in the pool?
Maybe there was no one in the pool, perhaps it was but a dream? He had the writer imagination that could conjure up any image he liked and associate it with any sound real or imagined. He walked over to the French doors and put his face close to the glass pane and that’s when he saw her.
“Oh my gosh Albion, it’s her in the pool, her from over the way. Man she’s got some gumption sneaking into the pool after the telling off I gave her out in the paddock.”
He stood there watching her for a little while longer wondering whether he should go out there, sneak up on her and give her a fright? Maybe that way she’d go away and stay away. “I probably shouldn’t do that considering the circumstances Albion, that wouldn’t really be fair because she’s probably scared enough already.”
He watched her continue to slowly swim up and down in the pool, oblivious to the fact that she had an audience of at least one.
She looked beautiful under the moonlight and he could make out the shape of her different body parts as she swam, arms, stomach, back, legs, and breasts. Then she stopped swimming and gently raised herself from the water and stood there, her naked body glistening under the moonlight.
He stood there behind the glass transfixed on her naked beauty. “Oh hell, she’s a pain in the neck with the body of a goddess,’ he said out loud to himself.
Albion gave a little grumble and stretched his body out even more across the floor. He stood there watching her dress herself, and wished he possessed the self-control to drag his eyes away from what he clearly was not meant to be seeing. Running through his mind was the thought, what if he actually was to meet her properly, maybe they WOULD hit it off? She sure was beautiful.
“Life isn’t that way is it Albion, and after the last drama I got tangled up with I’m hardly ready to chance a repeat performance!”
Next time, if there was a next time, he would confront her then, maybe scare the shit out of her and she wouldn’t ever want to come back! Yeah that’s what he’d do, and with that resolved, he returned to his bed and fell asleep easily despite his intense emotional and physical arousal.
She made her way out of the pool area and across the lawn, oblivious to the fact that she had been seen. Lenore was sitting on the porch and she called out to her softly, “See you Lenore.”
As she went to duck under the trees, she didn’t see it sticking up out of the ground. An old bottle long forgotten by time itself, but suddenly brought back to life as it sliced through her foot. She screamed out in pain as she fell to the ground, momentarily forgetting she was somewhere she was not supposed to be; her mind focussed squarely on the pain in her foot. It was clear to her that she’d been cut, but she didn’t know how badly. She was afraid to move any further from where she was for fear she’d stand on more glass. So wrapped up in her thoughts and pain was Kodi that she didn’t see the porch light come on.
She still believed him to be away, but immediately knew she was mistaken when then she heard Albion barking from somewhere inside the house, “Oh no, if he catches me I’m dead,” she said to herself. And she began to cry because the cut really hurt, and because she was afraid and didn’t really know what else to do considering the circumstances.
“I’m sitting here crying scared out of my brain and yet I’m not having a panic attack. I should be having a panic attack, I could be bleeding to death and I’m stuck here in the dark. I’m scared beyond measure, yet I’m not having a panic attack, this makes no sense,” she said to herself as she cried even more.
Albion jumped up barking because he sensed that something was out in the yard that should not be there. He woke his master in the process, but it wasn’t just the barking that had woken his master from sleep, had he heard a scream? Could something have befallen the girl? He hoped with all his heart that it had not because he didn’t want to have to deal with her yet again.
“How did I become so cynical and nasty Albion?” he asked of the dog as he donned pants, jersey and boots while he made his way through the kitchen.
“Remember what Saul said, Heathcliff, it is only for a time. But okay, it’s only for a time because he thinks I’m going to fall madly in love with the girl. So for Saul and the others it is only for a time, but for me this situation runs the very real danger of becoming permanent. Huh, likely story, I’m more likely to fall in love with Medusa than her, in fact, Medusa would be far less trouble.”
The recent fight he had had with his brother momentarily flicked through his brain and he remembered what his brother had said to him about responsibility. He remembered how he had insisted that he did care what happened to the girl. “I do care, I care and yet I don’t want this with her, I don’t want anything with her, and yet I do. I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling anymore Albion,” he said to his dog as he entered the lounge. “And look at me now, I’m speaking to a dog!”
As he made his way across the lounge to investigate the noise he spied the empty birdcage and had half a mind to leave her in the trees to suffer alone. But his concern was stronger than his annoyance, so he opened the back door, snapped on the porch light, grabbed a torch and headed across the lawn in the direction Albion had gone.
As he drew closer to the tree line he could hear her telling Albion to be gone, and he sort of smiled to himself as he thought about how she was going to explain her presence there on his property in the first place. Would she admit to sneaking into his pool?
“I mean she’d have to wouldn’t she, her hair’s wet, or maybe she’ll come up with some kind of explanation for that too? Ok so onward to the damsel in distress,” he said to himself as he neared the trees.
Albion began to sniff around her and he stopped sometimes to lick the tears from her face. He knew she was hurt and crying, and that’s what a dog is supposed to do, comfort anyone who was hurt and stay there until his master came to take over.
“Well he may be a Rottweiler, but he’s certainly no Omen-afied dog, he’s really rather sweet, but I have to get rid of him or else he’s going to lead that grouchy man straight to me.”
“Albion, go home, good boy, go…go on…shoo…oh man your master is going to kill me,” she said between her sobs.
“He just might at that too, and Albion IS home, ‘tis you who appears to need to be ordered home,” he said as he shone the torch down into her face.
She couldn’t see his face at all to be able to judge if he was angry, but she figured she probably didn’t really need to see his face to know that for sure. He stood there continuing to shine his torch in her face, and no matter how she tried to shield her eyes, she could not see past the great bulb of light. “He’s doing it on purpose.”
He saw that she had been crying because her face was slightly dirty and tears streaked through the dirt.
“You were just in my pool, how did your face get so dirty so quickly? Oh of course, you tried to rub your tears away. You put your hands out to break your fall; that’s how they got dirty. Then you rubbed your face, smart girl. After all these years you still have not worked out how to stay clean for longer than five minutes. Why am I standing here thinking these things to myself when I should be helping her?”
For a split second, as he gazed down upon her, he felt deep pity for her, but he swallowed it down and continued on as the angry, woken from deep sleep scoundrel he intended to portray himself as. After the last mess he’d got tangled up with, he had no desire to befriend the girl or show any real kind of empathy toward her at all, least she become enamoured with him. He certainly had no intentions of becoming that way with her. Sure he had thought she looked beautiful at the side of the pool naked under the moonlight, “but it all falls apart the second you involve your heart in the matter,” he thought as he stared down at the pathetic sight of her.
“You really are one to seek out trouble aren’t you, a bit like your cat Sam.”
“Harry, my cat is Harry,” she said weakly, unsure as to whether she should correct him at all considering the circumstances.
“I don’t care what his name is, did you know he ventured here again today and ate a free range rare budgie of mine, a beautiful orange one? Of course you don’t…so…what have we done to ourselves then?” “Never mind the yellow one and I know you know something about that one too.”
“I think I cut my foot on something,” she said weakly.
“Well I guess that kind of thing has a habit of happening when you’re wandering around in the dark in your NEIGHBOUR’S backyard. The same neighbour who made it very clear to you not too long ago that he wishes NO visitors.” “I can see this is going to be a barrel of laughs.”
“He’s really pissed at me.” “I’m sorry.”
Heathcliff crouched down beside her, “No you’re not, but you will be! Arms around my neck then,” he said. Kodi reached her arms around his neck and he lifted her effortlessly and began to carry her out from under the trees. Albion walked alongside of Heathcliff sniffing at the person in his arms, and wondering where the black ball of fluff that usually accompanied her was?
“You’re as light as a feather, I’m hazarding a guess that you need to eat more,” he said merely making an observation with no intentions of inviting conversation.
“Gee don’t hold back, feel free to be completely honest,” she thought, wondering what on earth he might come out with next.
“Obviously she’s not going to argue with me on that count then. What am I doing anyway? You’re going to take her into your house, fix her foot and promptly dispose of her back where you found her. No conversation, no tea and sympathy, no call-backs, just fix the foot and get rid of her. I’m so glad Mother has Alexi tonight; that could really have been awkward. Man is this girl light, even Annie weighed more than this and Annie was lean. I should be sleeping, I have a huge day tomorrow, I have to go back and see Peter and I have to make sure he does what he’s been asked. But no, asleep I am not; instead I’m in the midst of another self-inflicted crisis. You never learn do you Kodi Madison? You’ve always been one to run straight into the arms of trouble and I see tonight has been no different. Why didn’t you just stay on your side of the fence?”
She lay in his arms with her arms around his neck, and she noticed he smelled kind of musky come Old Spice, “He smells familiar.” But she couldn’t be sure, and there was maybe the aroma of old books about him, which she thought was quite an odd smell to associate with a human. Kodi could hear the way he was breathing and she also noticed the way he was avoiding staring down at her at all, “He’s really annoyed with me, perhaps I should just tell him to put me down? I could go to Mrs. Willis and she will help with my foot?” “Just put me down, I can walk home just fine, I don’t need your help.”
“Who said I was going to help you? Perhaps my intention is to detain you long enough for the authorities to come and relieve me of your care? Perhaps a night in the local cells is what you need, maybe that way you will be rather reluctant to repeat tonight’s performance?” he asked her.
“Okay Heathcliff that was really childish, and we don’t even have a local constabulary, but hey, she doesn’t even know where she really is so it might seem a valid threat to her.”
“Does it take much practice to be an ogre or were you simply born this way?” “Okay Kodi, that probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say to someone almost three times your size, or who has the power to do exactly what he says he might. Or he could dump me back under the trees and just leave me there. No one would hold it against him because I was trespassing, I should not have come here in the first place.”
“Do not provoke me to anger.” “You’re a brave girl for someone less than even half my size Kodi Madison, but then again you always have been one to stand up against the wrong person at the wrong time. If I didn’t think there was a chance this cut could be serious, I’d turn around and dump you back under those trees right this instant just to teach you a lesson. That and the fact that Saul would probably wring my neck, never mind what my mother would do to me.”
“Oh…I wasn’t trying to, and besides, it appears you don’t need any help because you’re quite capable of getting there all by yourself,” she snapped at him.
Heathcliff tightened his grip on her as he made his way up the porch steps toward the door and then he looked down on her and said, “Perhaps I should place you back where I found you and you can simply take your chances with the night? I’m looking for an excuse to do just that, so go on, say one more thing and make my evening.” “Okay that’s it, if she says one more smart thing to me she’s going back under the trees, no more questions asked.”
She kept her mouth shut after that because she did not know the extent of the injury to her foot and she fully believed he would make good on his threat. He pushed the door open with his boot and carried her into the house, through the lounge and into the kitchen where he unceremoniously relieved himself of his burden by dropping her onto the bench.
In the dim light he appeared even better looking than she had thought he had looked in the daylight, and then she remembered she had seen him naked and she blushed.
“Well at least you have the good manners to be embarrassed by your behaviour tonight,” he said as he thought about how he could cruelly increase her embarrassment by allowing her the knowledge he had seen her by the pool. “No Heathcliff, play nicely now, well not too nicely, but keep it civil.”
“If you knew why I was blushing you’d be blushing too, or maybe not. You don’t actually look like the type to blush. No, you look like the type who looks at girls like me and thinks to yourself, I know your type. So judgmental, so arrogantly judgmental, guys like you always are. You think you’re so good looking, you think you know everything and you stare down your nose at girls like me. Oh yeah, I bet you’d die before you lowered your standards and took a second look at someone like me, right? Yeah, I know your type. Anyway, just so you know, GIRLS LIKE ME HAVE FEELINGS TOO, like you care!"
“She’s looking kind of miffy, I wonder what she’s thinking?”
Then she thought, “Oh no, did he see me in the pool?” Then she thought about her wet hair and wondered why he had not yet questioned her about it? When had he returned and why did she not hear him? “Perhaps he returned when I had my head under the water? But you’d think I would have heard the car engine? Maybe I passed out for a moment or something? No, I usually remember that I have passed out, how odd that I didn’t hear him though.”
He turned to get something out of the cupboard and then turned his attention to filling the sink with some water. He then placed his hands on her hips and spun her side on so that he could attend to her foot over the sink.
“Yes thank you Mr. Robotic,” he thought to himself.
She noticed there was nothing gentle about the way he handled her and it surprised her for his eyes had looked so kind. “That was kind of rough. He despises me, I can tell he does, he has that despising look in his eyes.”
He looked her in the eye and realized she had blue eyes, why hadn’t he noticed that the other day? "Of course she was wearing sunglasses. Did she have blue eyes as a child?" He could hardly recall whether she had or not, “I vaguely remember them being kind of jade green when you were older.”
Blue eyes repulsed him, they usually meant a frigid soul, a cold personality, and it furthered his resolve to be as cruel as humanly possible in order that she would not want to tangle with him again. He raised her foot and placed his fingers on either side of the cut and spread it apart to ascertain the depth, she shrieked and cried.
The shriek made his blood run cold because he realized he had inflicted torture when all he had intended was to be mean, perhaps a little harsh, yet he did not apologize. He merely reached for a tissue and handed it to her, and she sat there sobbing. “I should comfort her, in the least say sorry. No, I won’t do that, she should not have been here in the first place so she deserves everything she gets.”
The next bit of meanness involved washing the cut in solution, and the solution stung, and he knew it from when he had gotten a thorn lodged in his hand, which had necessitated his removing it. He had washed the wound in the solution and it had brought a tear or two to his own eyes, so he had a fairly good idea what it would do to her on a cut of that depth.
“This should be interesting. Don’t be mean Heathcliff; warn her that it’s going to hurt. Why should I warn her? Because it’s the right thing to do.”
But he did not warn her, he just went about his job meticulously and without emotion, and he did not even attempt comfort when she cried out in pain as the solution was applied. “Oh boy that has got to hurt, I’m surprised she didn’t lash out and hit me.”
She was fit to go through the roof as he applied the solution to her foot and she came very near to slapping him because the pain was frightful, and it caused yet more tears to fall down her face.
“He knew that was going to hurt, I know he knew. Look at the way he’s staring at me, as though he’s enjoying my pain. He could have at least warned me; maybe he’s just mean? Well what would be new? All the men I get tangled up with are mean, I can’t seem to help myself.”
Once the wound was rinsed he then applied some steri-strips to hold the cut together and then he bandaged her foot so as to protect the wound from the dirt. She noticed that while he worked away on her foot that he hardly looked at her, and she began to sense his coldness. “Right, time to get rid of her.”
“Thank goodness, now I get to go home.”
He then picked her up and carried her to the lounge, out the door, across the porch, over the lawn, under the trees and to the fence, at which point he dumped her in the paddock and said, “Home’s that way, and I expect never to see you here again. Am I making myself clear?”
She looked over at her house and it looked an awfully long way away for someone with one working foot, “I don’t think I can hop that far,” she said staring at him almost disbelieving of his cold attitude toward her.
“Then crawl for all I care, but do not return to my property, ever, have you got that bit straight?”
“He’s not just mean, he’s cruel, bitter even, but I should still have manners enough to thank him for his help.” “Yes, and thank you for…
“Thank me by staying away from me.” “I mean it Kodi Madison, you get back to your side of the paddock and stay away from me, don’t you ever come back here.” With that he turned and walked back under the trees with Albion in tow.

She began to make her way across the paddock, first attempting to hop, which proved to be a useless venture in the end as she kept tripping over the long grass and falling flat on her face. So she then began walking on the toes of her sore foot, which hurt like the devil, but she had to get home somehow.
“He’s such a …a…hey I don’t even know his name, he fixed my foot and I didn’t even ask his name. Mind you he didn’t ask for mine either.” Kodi’s foot tangled in the long grass again and she fell flat on her face for the third time swearing as she went down that time. “This is hopeless, the grass is way too long to be hobbled through and I bet he knows that too? I bet he’s hiding somewhere over there laughing at me? No he’s not, he’ll be tucked up back in bed by now because he couldn’t care less if he tried.”
All of a sudden he stopped walking away and went back to make sure she did in fact get home. He stood under the trees watching her trying to make her way across the paddock, and he chuckled to himself the first few times she fell face first into the long grass. Then he mellowed and felt a little bad for being so mean, the foot had to be pretty sore, “and how the hell is she going to climb the fence at the other side? I can’t be this mean, this isn’t me, no matter how hard I try, it’s not me. Oh, Albion, I’m a fool, yes I’m going to go and help her,” he said as he climbed the fence and made his way over to her. He walked up behind her and lifted her easily into his arms without warning stating, “This is a oncer, I won’t be helping you again, got it?”
“Put me down, I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!” “You scared the shit out of me sneaking up on me like that!”
“Oh yeah, you’re a star, doing just fine on your own,” he replied and carried her to the other side of the paddock anyway. He then deposited her feet first over the fence onto her driveway holding onto her arm until she got her balance. Then he stood there at the fence watching her hobble up to the porch of her house, but when she got to the door she just stood there.
She put her hand into her pocket to find her key and was met by Harry who began to smooch her leg in anticipation of being let back inside.
“Where’s my keys?” she asked herself.
“What’s she waiting for?” he asked himself.
He leapt over the fence and approached her on the porch, “What’s the matter now?”
“Nothing, I’m fine,” she snapped at him.
“Don’t get miffy with me else I’ll just leave you here to the night, now what’s wrong?”
Heathcliff knew exactly what was wrong; well he suspected as much.
“I’ve lost my keys.”
“Where?” he asked, knowing he was asking a question for which she would be unable to source an answer.
“Well if I knew that then they wouldn’t be lost would they?”
Heathcliff resisted the urge to be very rude in reply to her sarcasm, “Is there any other way to get in?”
Heathcliff knew there’d be no other way to get into the house, at least not this soon, city slickers locking everything up like Fort Knox. She’d take a wee while to realise there was no threat to her here, well not in the sense she understood a threat to be.
“Sure, that’s why I’m standing here panicking because I’ve lost my keys.”
“You’re not in a position to get sarcastic with me, and if there’s no other way to get in then you’ll have to come home with me and we’ll call a locksmith in the morning.”
Heathcliff knew exactly what was going on, he had seen this all before with Annie, and as much as he did not want to get involved with Kodi, he knew exactly how the whole scenario with the keys was going to play out. No matter what she did nor where she looked, she was not going to be able to find them any time soon. He would have to take care of her for the night and then maybe all would be right again by morning? “That’s why they put her here, they knew that sooner or later I’d have to come to the rescue.”
But Kodi was not going to make it easy for him, because unlike Annie, Kodi was very stubborn, unbelievably so. He knew that she would fight him every step of the way, and he decided he was going to be as equally strong willed back.
“I’m not coming back to your house, you told me to thank you by keeping clear of you, so keep clear I shall.”
“Fine, sleep on the swing on the porch, I don’t care, have a nice night,” he said as he began to make his way across the driveway back to the fence. “She’ll be calling out to me soon, I’ll be lucky if I make it to the fence before she calls me back. She’ll be too scared to stay on her porch all night even if she does have that black furry little fiendish bird killer for protection.” He climbed the fence amazed that she still hadn’t called out to him not to leave her there on her own already, but she didn’t call out at all, she just let him go. He continued into the paddock muttering to himself, and he got half way across it before his conscience got the better of him. “Damn I’m so bloody weak! I’m such a sucker! She’s not going to ask for my help is she, I bet she’d die first? No she’s just going to sit there and be alone all night and I should just leave her there to the mercy of the bugs, and that’s more than she deserves too!” he said as he stared down at Albion. Albion gave him a woof and so he backtracked to her house. “Oh boy are mother, father Troy, Ed and Saul going to get a laugh out of this when they hear about it, and they WILL hear about it.”
Once he walked up onto her porch he could see her sitting on the swing, and when she saw him she said, “Oh, you’re back, lose your keys?”
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Heathcliff quipped back at her as she sat there staring at him with a look that he could not have mistaken for anything but the contempt that it was. “I suppose I can hardly blame her, this must all seem very bizarre and unnerving to her. Running into her cranky unfriendly neighbour to boot is probably not helping her, perhaps I should tone it down some?”
Kodi sat there thinking to herself, “Why doesn’t he just go home and leave me here? It’s quite obvious he can’t be bothered and the last thing I want is to be indebted to him. He’s cranky, arrogant and I don’t like him at all! He does seem familiar though, like I’ve met him before I came here, but that can’t be right could it? I’d remember meeting someone as cranky as him. Oh my gosh what’s he going to do now?”
There was no way he was going to stand there arguing with her all night and he knew that, unless he took direct action to gain control of the situation, that’s exactly what he’d end up spending all night doing. He was tired, so he just scooped her up into his arms without saying a word, and he carried her all the way back to his house with Albion in tow. Harry followed him at a safe distance.
She went at him a couple of times to put her down, but he ignored her and she eventually realised her nagging at him was going to achieve nothing.
As he had carried her across the paddock she had looked into his eyes trying to see if she could ‘read him’ but it proved to be a pointless venture. One second he’d flick his eyes down to stare at her and as soon as her eyes caught his, he would avert his gaze away again, so in the end she stopped trying.“Just like Annie, you’re trying to read me Kodi Madison, well I’ll not make the venture any easier for you.”
When they got inside his house he dumped her into an old armchair, “Stay there,” he said and went into the kitchen to make a hot drink, and while he was busy doing that she looked around at the things in the room. While he was out in the kitchen he thought to himself, “She’s here for the night Heathcliff, so be nice, be polite, be kind, make conversation with her, you can undo it when you take her home tomorrow. But for now make her feel safe, relaxed because you know that for her, more than most, there is nothing worse than feeling like an unwelcome guest in someone else’s home. She’s had enough of that for one lifetime, be nice, got it? Yup, I’ve got it.”
Then she thought about him, he was so strange, cold and hostile one moment, then caring and thoughtful the next…well…sort of thoughtful and caring. “What am I doing here? Be nice and appreciative Kodi, he’s brought you into his home, he didn’t have to. You put yourself in this situation, not him, so as much as you may not want to, play nice!”
There were antiques all over the place; even the chair she was sitting in was an antique. There were hundreds of books, old and new, and she even spied a copy of Edgar Allan Poe’s complete works, and she also saw a very old copy of Wuthering Heights. “Oh so he’s a reader,” she said out loud to herself.
“Actually he’s a writer,” he said having overheard her comment as he walked into the lounge. He handed her a cup of coffee and pulled up a stool to sit on in front of her. He then grabbed a remote and music emitted from the stereo.
“Joni Mitchell and Peter Gabriel, wow, you don’t seem the type.”
“Secret Place, yeah, I like this song and ah, Joni and Peter compliment each other’s voice,” Heathcliff said staring at her.
“Did you ever see the video to this?”
“The video?” he asked wondering what she meant.
“The video that went with the song?”
Heathcliff suddenly understood what she meant; “I don’t watch television, was it good?”
“Yeah they um kind of dressed up in these kind of poncho shawl things and Joni made like a long paper trail for Peter to follow through the desert, in Colorado I think. Peter followed it and they ended up in this tent together. They sat there facing each other; it was really nice and shot in black and white too. It was very innocent, surreal, seductive but not.” “I should not have used the word seductive, bad choice of word Kodi, think before you speak to HIM!”
“No, I never saw it but it sounds nice the way you describe it.” “I can’t believe she used the word seductive, brave girl.”
“Um, before, you said you are a writer? Wow, so um, what do you write about?”
“Novels mostly, nothing you would have read I’m quite certain. So anyway, what’s your name, I mean if you’re going to be sleeping in my house then I should in the least know your name.” “Playing banal little games again Heathcliff? You know her name; you have always known her name. Yeah but I can have some fun at her expense though can’t I? She doesn’t know I know her name, so why not?”
“It’s Kodi.”
“Kodi, are you serious, I had a horse called Kodi?” “Such a fine name for a horse.”
“Yes, my name is Kodi. What’s yours?” “Maybe he thinks my name’s weird? I wonder what his name is? He looks like a Mark or maybe an Andrew.”
“Who names their daughter Kodi?”
“Who names their budgie Frank? What’s your name?”
“Dana.”
“What? Who calls their son Dana?” “What a weird name for a male, I thought Dana was a girl’s name?”
“Who calls their cat Harry?” he quipped.
They both laughed a little, “At least that broke the ice,” he thought to himself. “Actually my name isn’t Dana, it’s Heathcliff, Dana is a character out of a novel I wrote.”
She burst out laughing, “Oh right, Heathcliff, well you got me didn’t you?” “Heathcliff? Heathcliff? Okay he has GOT to be joking. No way anyone calls their kid Heathcliff. No way I, who has always fancied the idea of meeting my own real life Heathcliff, runs into a real life Heathcliff.”
“Yeah, I got you good with the Dana thing, but my name IS Heathcliff,” he said seriously.
“Wuthering Heights Heathcliff?” she asked with a smirk on her face.
“The very same,” he said as he stared at her and thought, “If she makes a joke about my name I will take her back, dump her on her porch and leave her there, Saul and mother’s chagrin be damned.”
“Heathcliff, phew, well, okay so Heathcliff, what do you do? Your name’s not really Heathcliff is it?”
“My name IS Heathcliff, always has been and I am a writer just as I said. So what do you do, or maybe you’re a bread thief?” “Is her memory that messed up already or is she just forgetting what I’ve said to her because she’s nervous? I probably should have refrained from saying something like that, well it’ll be interesting to see how she answers that.”
“What? Goodness no, why would I steal bread?” “Oh my gosh I remember sneaking into that shop to steal the bread for the ducks, I wonder why I never got caught after the first few times?”
“I’m kidding Kodi,” he said. “I could say that ducks like bread and that perhaps she has a stash of ducks somewhere, but that might be a little unnerving for her.” “So what do you really do?” he asked smiling at her.
"I’m…well…actually I’m a…well…a…” “He’s going to laugh at me for sure now, and I can’t believe I asked the same question twice, what’s wrong with me? Doh!”
“A what, come on, spit it out,” Heathcliff fiddled with a thread on his footstool.
“I’m a writer too, well a wannabe writer.”
“Really?” he asked staring up from the footstool, “a writer, so have you been published before?”
“Yeah, one novel, but I work for a magazine, copy editor, that’s how I eat… and feed Harry.”
“And of course it is also the way you afford to replace budgies.”
“Named Frank…”
“Hmmm…named Frank,” he said as he smiled ever so slightly. “Maybe this won’t be so bad after all, she smiles easily and she’s made me smile in under five seconds and I would never have picked she’d be able to do that. And she’s quick off the bat too with ‘come backs’ so maybe there’s hope for her yet?”
Kodi stared at him and thought, “Why is he staring at me like that? Is there something wrong with me? Maybe I have something on my face? This is really weird that he keeps staring at me like this, I hate being stared at.”
He noticed that her blue eyes were not as cold as he had first thought them to be, but he sensed he would have to tread very carefully with this one.
“I need to think of something to say to him anything, just don’t break the golden rules of conversation with males, don’t question him on religion, politics and definitely DON’T ask if he has a girlfriend.” “So, do you have a girlfriend?” Kodi asked. “Oh damn it, I can’t believe I said that, now he’s going to think I’m hitting on him. Oh man!”
“No, and I’m not in the market for one either.” “I know she wasn’t hitting on me, but judging by the way she’s blushing she thinks that I think she was. Hmmm I could really make this uncomfortable for her. No Heathcliff, play nice, remember?”
“I wasn’t offering.” “I’m sooooooooooo embarrassed, why did I say that?”
“Then my declination will not have offended you.” Heathcliff smiled.
“No,” she quickly retorted.
“Maybe too quickly,” they both thought at the very same time. An awkward silence ensued as Heathcliff stared at her and she gazed back at him.
“Change the subject, ask him something really intelligent, you know, something that shows you have an IQ that is slightly higher than a Vegemite sandwich.” “Was she that bad?” she asked while inwardly she cringed at having asked such a bold and stupid question.
“Are you always this forward?” Heathcliff raised his eyebrows at her.
“It was just a question.” Kodi said shyly; embarrassed that she’d clearly encroached on Heathcliff’s privacy. “I obviously don’t have an IQ that extends much above a Vegemite sandwich, and he looks upset.”
“I’d rather not have a discussion of that kind with you if you don’t mind, even if you do actually,” he said as he looked over at Albion trying to make the break in the conversation seem natural and unthreatening.
“Ouch, way wrong topic Kodi, think before you speak, THINK!”
“This coffee tastes really nice, almost as good as the ones I made back home. Well, they weren’t really proper coffees, actually they were half drinking chocolate and half coffee.” “Okay, so that’s intelligent Kodi, he’s going to be really impressed that you think his coffee tastes like chocolate.”
“That’s what you have in your hand now.”
“Really, you make that stuff too?” “Oh my gosh I actually got it right and I didn’t say something dumb.”
“Yes.” “I can’t believe someone else likes their coffee like this, how…strange that a detail like that got past me undetected.”
Kodi looked around the room and spied a photograph of Heathcliff with another man and asked, “Who’s that in the photograph with you, a friend?” Kodi was falling into the old habit of trying to further herself from an awkward moment by saying something completely off subject. He was aware of what she was doing and that she was miserable at it because she opened the door for even more ridicule from him.
Heathcliff looked over at the photograph sitting on top of the antique radio and said, “No, it’s an arch enemy, I always insist on having a photo taken with my arch enemy as we enjoy a stogie together right before we engage in battle.” “Okay Heathcliff now that was just plain mean, she’s trying to make conversation with you and you’re just heading her off at every turn with your cutting remarks.”
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of whit,” she said shyly.
Kodi was tense and she sensed he was uncomfortable with her no matter what she said, and all she wanted to do was walk across the paddock to her house. “But I can’t because I’ve lost my keys. I wonder if they are out by the pool? I wonder if I should go and have a look? Maybe once he’s asleep I’ll go take a look. He doesn’t like me that’s for sure, everything I say is wrong, oh no Kodi don’t cry you baby!”
“But the lowest form of whit is preferable to stupid questions,” he retorted.
Kodi looked down at the floor, and as she gazed down, Heathcliff saw two tears cascade down her face. His heart hit the floor when he saw that he had made her cry. “Kodi, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you…
“I’m not crying,” she said as she bravely looked him in the eye and wiped the tears from her face. But just as fast as she wiped them away a new set cascaded down.
“You horrible, cruel man,” Heathcliff thought to himself, “how could you sit here and deliberately make her cry?” As he sat there staring at her while she cried he remembered other times he had seen her cry. Especially in the dead of the night after ‘he’ was through exacting his drunken rage upon her, and he remembered even as a child how she used to choke the tears back, switch them off, drive them away, it was never okay for her to cry. She’d always say, “I’m not crying.”
“It’s okay if you want to cry Kodi, I wasn’t very nice to you, I’m sorry. Things have been a little overboard for me lately,” he said weakly. “Overboard for you? How do you think she’s feeling right now? Everything she’s ever known has been ripped away from her yet again and by the one person she should have been able to trust. And then you pull this shit, what’s the matter with you?”
“I’m not crying,” she said a little forcefully, “I just got dirt in my eyes from my hands, when I fell under the trees.” She looked at her hands, which were reasonably clean and had no loose dirt on them what so ever, but it seemed to her that he accepted her explanation.
“Okay Kodi, so do you want something to wipe your eyes with? I can get you a tissue…” “She doesn’t want me to know I made her cry, man I’m such a prat sometimes!”
“So you like music? You seem to have loads of albums,” said Kodi completely ignoring him and changing the subject now that she almost had her tears under control.
“Yes I do really like music, and you?” he asked playing along. “Whatever makes her comfortable at this point, so long as I don’t make her cry again, man I’m a heel!”
“Yeah I like it,” said Kodi groping for conversation as more tears rolled down her face.
Heathcliff put his coffee mug on the floor, leaned forward and wiped the tears from her face with his hands. It seemed to him that Kodi was very nervous with him putting his hands anywhere near her face. “Did she flinch? Why would she think I would hurt her? Ok so that’s what I have been threatening to do in a way I suppose, but I wouldn’t really hurt her. Ok, I’ll just go and get her some tissues.”
Heathcliff stood up and walked to the kitchen to get her some tissues, and as he did he called back to her, “So what’s the most haunting song you have ever heard?” Heathcliff grabbed a handful of tissues and when he got back into the lounge, as he sat back down on the footstool, he handed them to her.
“Hmm, that’s a toughie,” she said as she took the tissues from him, “but I think it would have to be California by Manfred Man, do you know it?”
She was surprised that he asked that question about music because it was a question usually she asked other people.
“Yes I know that song and you’re right, it is very haunting. Lost love, two people miles apart from each other and the distance seems too far to bridge, that’s kind of sad.” Heathcliff stared at her intently.
Kodi was surprised at his depth of understanding, she thought she was the only geek alive who analysed words that deeply. To other people, songs were just songs, background noise. Rarely did anyone ever relate deep meaning to songs at all, well except for her, and people had always found that personal attribute somewhat over the top. Now here was this seriously nice looking man mimicking her.
“What the hell, I’ll add to it, share what I think about it honestly, what can it hurt?” “Yup, it always reminds me of being left behind you know? Left behind and being forgotten. So what do you think is the most haunting song ever written?” she bravely asked.
“Why am I not surprised to hear that from you Kodi Madison?”
“Wow, the most haunting song ever written, well I guess it would have to be At Seventeen by Janis Ian. People watching other people living the things and taking them for granted, thinking its that way for everyone, never even beginning to realise that other people grieve being left out.” Heathcliff smiled at Kodi to set her at ease.
“Whoa, you know that song too?” she asked, surprised he would even listen to a song like that let alone explain what it meant to him in depth as well as the last one.
“There’s not many songs I don’t know Kodi, I’ve been listening to music for a very long time,” Heathcliff tapped his fingers against his coffee mug and then stared at her right wrist. “That watch you’re wearing, where’d you get it?”
“This old thing?” she asked lifting her right arm up.
“That very one,” he said smiling.
“I bought it when I was fourteen from a little watch shop in a town I lived in, cost me fifty bucks and all the kids sort of teased me because of the red flags on it.”
“Does it keep good time?”
“Well it has for twelve years, so long as I remember to wind it, I mean it’s not made in Taiwan, so it can’t help but keep good time.”
“Where was it made?” Heathcliff asked, curious she wore such an extraordinary timepiece.
“Switzerland,” Kodi said with a smile.
“Ah, well that explains it then, Swiss made watches are of the highest quality; the most accurate time pieces come from there, so I am told.”
They both sat there in silence for a moment and then Kodi wondered about his age as she sat there, and as she stared at Heathcliff, he got the impression she was about to ask him a tricky question.
“How old are you?” asked Kodi. “I wonder if he’ll answer me honestly? Anyway I wonder how old he really is because he looks around twenty-eight maybe thirty.”
“Let’s just say I’m a little older than I look, and anyway it’s late, time we went to bed…well time we went to sleep.” “That was a bit of a blunder even for me!”
“Why won’t he tell me how old he is? I thought it was only rude for men to ask women, perhaps it’s rude to ask men too? Or maybe he thinks I’m rude? I have asked some pretty dumb questions tonight.”
With that he got up, picked her up in his arms and began walking down the hallway toward his bedroom.
“So do you know the song Wildfire?” she asked, trying to maintain conversation with him for as long as she could. She wasn’t ready to sleep, she wasn’t looking forward to the possibility of facing the blonde-haired blue-eyed man in her dreams yet again.
“Who doesn’t know the song about the horse?” he replied, “The horse wanders off in a storm and she wanders out into the storm looking for him and they both get lost, a bit like you in some ways huh?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing,” he chuckled to himself.
“Have you ever heard of a song called New Jerusalem by…
“Broken Home, yes I know that one too. You might as well quit Kodi Madison because like I said, I know most songs, even the obscure ones.”
“How do you know my last name?”
“People talk and I’ve heard all about you. Picking flowers in the grade, walking across the paddocks under the moonlight with your cat, sleeping on your porch swing. Getting lost in the storm,” he said alluding to his previous joke at her expense, the one she’d entirely missed. “There’s not much I don’t know about you my little neighbour,” he said smiling down at her. “And that’s not even a scratch on what else I know about you Miss Madison, including the little birthmark at the top of the inside of your thigh. HEATHCLIFF! Keep your mind on the situation at hand. She’d be so embarrassed if she knew I knew about that though, and she’d wonder how I knew,” he thought as he briefly stared down at her.
“But I haven’t really met that many people here, well I met that funny old guy named Ed, he warned me about the Sandanizta flowers, but Mrs. Willis, the lady I rent the house off, beat him to it, but I didn’t tell him that. He seemed nice, like he was trying to be helpful. He even came in for a cup of tea a while back.”
“Was that before or after you got lost in the storm?” he asked smiling at her.
Kodi blushed and said, “Before, he hasn’t been back since the night he picked me up from Charles’s house when I got lost. I think he was a little upset, I mean he didn’t say he was, but I mean it must have been annoying for him to have to come out all that way to pick me up.”
Heathcliff felt his stomach muscles involuntarily contract and he spiralled off into thinking about where she’d been found, and although he was aware she was still talking to him, he didn’t actually hear a word she said. “She ended up at Charles’s house? Of all the places she could have ended up at, and why didn’t Ed tell me that, why didn’t he tell me he found her there? He better not have touched her, I swear I’ll…No you won’t Heathcliff, he didn’t touch her, he knows the rules. Why do I care? Because I care, because I always have cared, right from the start, but you don’t need to know that Kodi Madison, you are trouble with a capital T. But if that man so much as touched a hair on her head I’ll, I’ll…think of something.” “So he came for a cuppa with you then?” he tried to cover the fact that he was deeply disturbed by the last thing she’d said.
“Yeah, he’s interesting and he said he used to be a writer but now he just reads mostly, doesn’t write much anymore. He’s quite talkative too once you get to know him a little bit, he talked a lot on the way back from Charles’s. Loves his horses doesn’t he?”
“That’s Ed, loves his horses,” “Charles’s house! And I can’t believe that diabolical man was even allowed to end up where he did. Okay I’m not judging, I’m just thinking is all, but it is a relief to know he can’t hurt anyone anymore, at least I hope he can’t touch anyone anymore. But now I understand why ‘he’ got so mad about him coming anywhere near here. I wouldn’t want him anywhere near Alexi, even where he is he seems too close for comfort.”
“So are you going to answer me or not?” she asked staring up into his face.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t even hear the question I was miles away.” He felt embarrassed and he had absolutely no idea what she’d just asked him, and she obviously wasn’t going to repeat it for him.
“Never mind, it wasn’t important.” “Just wanted to know where the loo is, maybe I can wait until the morning, but I just drunk coffee so I doubt it, but we’ll see because I’m not asking him again, not unless I have to.”
Heathcliff leaned down and turned the handle on his bedroom door and took her to his bed, “I’m not sleeping in here with you,” she said staring up at him.
“You got that right, but what sort of man would I be if I made you sleep on a hard old couch while I slept in a comfortable bed?”
“A normal one, the same one who threatened to leave me under the trees,” she said jokingly, but he obviously wasn’t in a joking mood.
“It’s not too late for me to have a change of heart on the matter so do feel free to tread lightly. If you need another blanket there is one in the cupboard over there, if you need anything else just give me a yell and I’ll come a running'. I’ll leave the door open okay?”
“Okay, and thank you…Heathcliff.”
He plunked Kodi on the bed and walked out pulling the door a little more shut behind him. He went back out into the lounge and started up his computer to work on his latest project.

“She’s turned out to be a cheeky girl, I’ll give her that much. Charles, Charles, I don’t like that one bit. I think I’m going to have a wee conversation with Ed about it next time I see him. I wonder if Saul knows? Stupid question, of course he knows. How the hell did she end up that far away anyway? She obviously doesn’t remember him which is probably just as well, but how bizarre that of all the places she could have ended up at she ended up there. I wonder if he recognised her? No he wouldn’t have recognised her, she was just a little thing back then, and he took that many one would pretty much look like the other after this many years. Isn’t that awful, I’m thinking about every child he took in the same way as one would talk about goldfish, but they weren’t, they were children, individuals, precious, every single one of them. I think I’ll ring mother just to check on Alexi, make sure she’s okay.” he thought to himself as he sat down.

Albion yawned, groaned and curled up on the carpet seemingly put out at not being able to sleep in the room by the French doors where he could see the backyard, “Don’t worry Albion, you’re not the only one doing it tough tonight. I’ve given my nice comfortable bed up to the sassiest woman I’ve run into for a long time and I’m going to be sleeping on a hard old couch. I should have put her on the couch, but that’d be rude. I can be mean and moody, but I mustn’t be rude…mother would clip my ear for me if she found out I was rude to the girl. Fancy that, a fully grown man still afraid of his mummy!”
Heathcliff made his phone call to his mother and just as he had thought, Alexi was fine having had her last bottle at nine (around the same time as he was rescuing the damsel in distress from under the trees) and she’d settled and was still sleeping. It was comforting to Heathcliff to think of Alexi warmly tucked down in her crib at his mother’s house with a full belly, contented, safe and sound, “As it should be for all children,” he thought, knowing that across the mist many children were sick, afraid, hungry and alone.
Sometimes the things of the world seemed so overwhelming and the roles they fulfilled over there so useless, and often times he had thought to himself, “If only we could interfere with the freewill of a few, how the face of the world would change for so many. I don’t understand the logic of not being unable to interfere any more now than I did when I first started this job, I just obey the rules better.”
He had just hung up the phone when he heard scratching at the door and looked up to see Harry wanting to come inside. He got up went to the door and let him in, “Lenore will not be pleased to see you, but seeing as how your saucy mother is here I’m going to allow you to stay…just this once mind.”
He picked up the cat, “I ought to check your teeth for feathers shouldn’t I Harry?” he said as he walked to his bedroom door, pushed it opened wider and tossed Harry onto the bed. Kodi was already asleep and so didn’t notice a thing. “She looks peaceful enough, certainly makes herself at home fast, well I guess she’s had enough time to perfect that art over the years.”
Kodi felt Harry land on her foot, but she didn’t move and she hoped her eyes weren’t flickering when he tossed Harry into the room. “He really is kind of cute, in fact not just kind of cute, he’s extremely cute. How does someone who looks that good remain single for too long? You’d think every girl in the neighbourhood would be trying to land him. Maybe he’s grouchy with everyone? Perhaps he’s just not relationship material? Gee this bed’s comfortable, and I feel safe here, really safe.”
Kodi woke up with a start and wondered where she was, but the night was not completely dark because the moonlight illuminated the room and she remembered she was in HIS house. Heathcliff’s house, weird, Heathcliff! She climbed out of bed and stood with both feet flat on the floor and at that precise second a searing hot pain shot from her foot to her brain and she let out a yelp.
“Gaawwwwwwwwwd!” She sat back on the bed to wait until the throbbing in her foot ceased.
The door to the bedroom was slowly pushed open wider, “Are you okay?” He saw her sitting on the side of the bed with her head in her hands, “I bet she put her weight on that foot? I better check she hasn’t busted the steri strips.”
She looked up to see Heathcliff staring at her from the doorway, “I forgot about my foot and stood on it. I need to use the loo, where is it?”
He walked across the floor to the bed, took her by her arm and made her sit on the chair that was in his room saying, “I better check to see if the steri strips held up first.”
Heathcliff unbandaged her foot but all looked well so he rebandaged it and said, “Come on I’ll show you.”
Kodi hobbled along holding onto the wall and Heathcliff ended up carrying her through to the other end of the house because it was easier than her hobbling along at snail pace. “Just as well I have paid much attention to slang or else I’d have no idea what a ‘loo’ is.” He put her in the bathroom and then walked out closing the door behind him, and he returned to the lounge.
The bathroom was beautiful; it had rimu-panelled walls and ice green stone tiles on the floor, which were cool beneath her feet. “I love this bathroom,” she thought to herself as she sat on the toilet. One of the walls had a huge set of windows built into it covered with a lace curtain, and once she was done, she wandered over to the window to take a look outside at the moonlit paddocks through the trees to her house. She slowly lifted the lace curtain and peered out into the lunar-lit night, and the paddocks looked beautiful, but what she saw took her breath away. There were no trees and there was no house, just paddocks for miles and miles as far as her eyes could see.
“What?” she cried out, and she strained her eyes to see more clearly, but the trees and the house were nowhere to be seen and she began to panic. “It’s just my mind playing tricks on me, the human mind is a complex mechanism and it pretty much can do whatever it wants given the right stimuli,” she told herself quietly. But she was not brave enough to look out a second time to check that what she saw was really what was there, “There’s some things a girl just doesn’t need to know.”
She turned from the view (or lack of) outside the window and looked into the big mirror beside her as she asked herself, “What is going on?” She screamed when she saw her reflection, she was bleeding profusely, both her eyes were black, her bottom lip was split and there was blood all down her front. Her hair was caked in blood and sticking to the sides of her face in places. There was a terrible wound on her forehead, which was causing some of the bleeding, and she could see that she must have been severely wounded.
The whole chest area had blood oozing from it and it had soaked her dress and was now forming a huge puddle on the floor. “What has happened to me? What’s going on? I don’t understand.” She put her hands against the front of her and then looked at them and they were covered in fresh blood. “This isn’t good, there is something utterly bizarre going on with me. Why am I imagining these things?”
She shut her eyes and said, “I’m imagining this, nothing I am seeing in the mirror is real,” then she opened her eyes again only to see that everything was still as it had appeared when she first looked into the mirror. Absolutely horrified by what she was seeing, her heart began to beat faster and her vision became blurry, the room warped as she let out a scream and then the room began to spin. “Oh no not again, not here, not in his house, I can’t pass out here, he’ll think I’m crazy. I think I am crazy.” Kodi grabbed for the handrail to hold onto to steady herself but she missed. She slipped into merciful darkness before she could think of anything more that she could do to help herself, and she fell to the floor hitting the back of her head on the ice green tiles as she landed hard.
Heathcliff heard the scream and then the bang, “Damn, I didn’t remove the mirror from in there.” He rushed to the bathroom and called out, “Kodi are you okay?” and he waited for a few seconds to see if she would answer, and then he said again, “Kodi?”
Hearing no answer he decided to go into the bathroom and he found her sprawled out on the floor, “Oh no, Kodi, you’ll be okay, I’ve got you.” Heathcliff scooped her up into his arms and took her back to bed where he tucked her down securely and placed Harry back at her feet. He checked the wound on her head, “It’s nothing but a nasty bump, she’ll be fine,” he said to Harry. Then he looked at her fringe and he couldn’t resist lifting it gently with his fingers, “Just to see,” he said staring at Harry who was purring, glad that his Kodi was okay.
He gazed upon the scar and then sat down on the side of the bed and traced the faint line with his index finger. As he traced the scar he thought back to that day.
Saul had just yelled at him then disappeared and he decided he should get help for her. He spied a lady in her backyard using a walking frame to make her way back from the letterbox. Heathcliff was standing there wondering how he could get Kodi to go to the lady for help when the lady turned and stared at her. Heathcliff didn’t see her as he said, “Little one you need to go to that lady over there, show her your head and she may fix it for us.”
Kodi stared at Heathcliff as her tears continued to roll down her cheeks.
“Young man, I can see that she is hurt and if you bring her to me I will do my best.”
Saul had just yelled at him then disappeared and he decided he should get help for her. He spied a lady in her backyard using a walking frame to make her way back from the letterbox. Heathcliff was standing there wondering how he could get Kodi to go to the lady for help when the lady turned and stared at her. Heathcliff didn’t see her as he said, “Little one you need to go to that lady over there, show her your head and she may fix it for us.”
Kodi stared at Heathcliff as her tears continued to roll down her cheeks.
“Young man, I can see that she is hurt and if you bring her to me I will do my best.”
Heathcliff was surprised, “You can see me?” he asked.
“Yes, why would I not be able to see you?” she asked.
“Your name?” he’d asked carefully.
“Martha,” offered Ed who was already there with her and sitting on her porch having just watched the scene that had unfolded with the man, the car, Saul, the child and Heathcliff.
Ed had been there prepping Martha to be ready to leave soon; her degenerative illness was catching up with her fast. Martha couldn’t wait to leave, she had had enough of fighting like a dog to make it through every day, “And what for?” she’d often asked herself in those last days before Ed had shown up, “So that I can claw my way through another day? And for what? I’m never going to get better, so best I just be on my way I suppose.”
“Bring the little one in Heathcliff,” instructed Ed.
Heathcliff had taken her to Martha, and Martha had slowly led the way indoors.
“You have a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig house,” said Kodi who would talk to just about anyone. Heathcliff smiled at the memory as he sat on the bed staring at the scar on her forehead. He remembered the state of her face; “Dirty just like it was tonight under the trees, and your clothes Kodi, they were all but rags, yet you didn’t care did you little one? No, you never have been one for aesthetics.”
Heathcliff thought back to where the diabolical man had gone to once he’d realised he’d messed it up with the little girl who had said her name was Marli. “Yes you drove off to the local park and that’s where you found your next victim, her name was Deanna. You took her to the trees and you raped and strangled her, yet she did not die. Yes she survived you, but at what cost? You scarred her mind for life and still she sits in that hospital thinking she is still playing in the park, death would be a gift to her, yet she cannot die because she is as healthy as anyone I know is. That has to be the cruellest thing, surviving something as horrific as that, I still do not understand the why of her survival, but I know there must be some reason. And then what did you do you diabolical bastard? Yes that’s right you hopped a plane back here and picked up where you left off and after a season touched Kaleb’s life and your actions changed him. And now there you sit across the river in relative comfort and that does not sit well with me, even today, even all these years later. I have to stop thinking about you, what was I thinking about before I set off on this tangent? Oh yes, Martha.”
By the time they got inside the house Kodi could only see Martha and Heathcliff, and she happily sucked on the red lollipop Martha gave her as she fixed the cut on her head the best she could. Her husband Matthew came in and finished it for her as her hands were shaking so badly due to her illness that she could hardly finish the job herself. “I’m terribly sorry little girl, my hands are very bad now, I can hardly feel them at all.”
“Why are your hands all jiggly?” asked Kodi innocently.
“That’s not the kind of question you should ask anyone little one, it is very rude,” admonished Heathcliff.
“Oh hush young man, she can ask me whatever she wants to ask me,” said Martha sternly to Heathcliff.
“I’m trying to teach her that…”
“You shouldn’t even be talking to her at all,” admonished Ed.
“Well if I don’t then who will?” asked Heathcliff.
“Hush the pair of you,” said Martha and then she turned to look back at the little girl sitting on the chair.
“You know how you have a brain in your head?” she said to the little girl.
“I do?” asked Kodi, looking up at Martha questioningly.
“Why yes dear, we all do.” Martha looked at Ed and Heathcliff wondering why a child of her age would not even know what was inside her head.
“She’s neglected,” said Ed by way of explanation.
“My point exactly Ed, but ask her how to steal bread from a dairy and she’s an absolute professional,” said Heathcliff as he frowned.
“He watches me steal it too,” said Kodi.
“Okay Kodi I might watch you but it’s not like I don’t tell you not to do that now is it?”
“You never stop me,” said Kodi innocently as she stared over at her dark haired friend.
“Only because I am not allowed to Kodi, but if I had my way I’d spank you every time,” said Heathcliff sternly.
Ed and Martha laughed.
“Well anyway little girl, my brain is not working properly anymore and so I will be going away to live somewhere else very soon, but in the meantime my hands shake a lot because my brain can’t tell them to be still anymore.”
“My brain must be broken too,” said Kodi.
“Why is that little girl?” asked Martha.
“Because my mummy says I can’t keep still either,” she said as she bit her lollipop in half.
“What’s your name sweetie?” asked Martha laughing at the child.
“My name is Kodi,” she said, “thank you for fixing my head.”
“What happened to you Kodi, how did you hurt your head?” Martha asked.
“HE,” she’d said pointing her four year old finger at Heathcliff accusingly, “tripped me up and I banged my head. I was gonna go help to find the man’s puppy. He’s very little and he’s very lost.”
It had angered Heathcliff intensely that the man had been able to stir such emotion in Kodi, as if the devil himself had given the man the line to use. It was then that Martha realised what had happened because she too read the paper still, and she stared at Heathcliff and gave him an understanding smile. Then she asked Kodi, “Where is he?” to see whether the little girl could really see the young man or not.
“He drove away,” she said innocently.
“No sweetheart, the man who pushed you over,” said Martha.
“I didn’t push her over, I tripped her up,” he’d said defensively.
“No you didn’t you pushed me, bully,” she’d said staring straight at him again.
“Whatever,” said Ed laughing.
“Over there,” said Kodi as she pointed directly at Heathcliff.
“Martha at this point I must ask that you pretend you can’t see Heathcliff, she shouldn’t be seeing him either, but for some unknown reason she does. It would be better for her if she thinks of him as an imaginary friend and that’s what we’re trying to make her believe.” said Ed.
Martha had played right along without asking any questions, “Where, I don’t see anyone. I know what you’re doing, “ said Martha playfully, “you’re tricking an old lady,” she said as she tickled Kodi.
“But you talked to him,” said Kodi giggling.
“I was just playing along with you Kodi, tricking a little girl while the little girl was tricking the old lady,” said Martha, her execution of the lie flawless.
Heathcliff sat there a little longer tracing the scar with his finger, from her forehead up into her hair, “How come you could always see me? You’re the only one I have ever had who could see me without having been under the influence of alcohol or drugs? I used to think it was because you were about to be in danger of losing your life and that was the reason why you used to be able to see me, but Saul said that wasn’t why either. People only see their helpers just before they die, but you, you saw me many times when you weren’t even in danger. So why Kodi, what is it about you that you could see me so much? Remember that time when you were fifteen and you went into that shop to buy that record? I followed you in there and you saw my reflection in the window. I was waiting for you to turn around and say something, but you never did, did you? No because they had you in therapy trying to remove your imaginary friend from your mind, from your imagination. Remember Doctor Fargo? No I don’t suppose you do, but he signed you off because we sent him there so that they would leave you alone. They were going to commit you, one instance of one of Ed’s brilliant ideas backfiring. He told us to try and make you believe that I was imaginary and now you don’t trust anything you see, and I think that’s part of the reason you are stuck. I think it’s part of the reason that you don’t see Troy regularly, you don’t trust what your own eyes are showing you. That’s why you wouldn’t come with him that night isn’t it Kodi? You thought you were imagining me again. You don’t trust your waking mind or your sleeping mind and you really need to learn to trust both again Kodi.”
He sat there a little while longer just thinking about things and then he leaned over and whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry little one, I tried so hard to keep you safe, I tried so hard.”
He got up and walked back to the lounge and tried to put the whole thing out of his mind by working on his new novel. But then he stopped for a moment and went back into the room and sat on the bed beside Kodi, “Where are you going little one? I think I shall follow you for a time,” he said as he shut his eyes.
She was standing in a huge empty building, but it wasn’t a building, it was more like an aircraft hanger. The roof was made of tin and she could hear the rain pelting down upon it, and as she looked down again she saw a man lying on the concrete floor.
A few feet away from him she saw a man with his back to her walking away, he was tall and he had dark hair. He seemed vaguely familiar, and she’d definitely seen that long black coat before, but she could not place who he was or from where she knew him. He walked out the small door at the far end of the building, his long black coat billowing against the ferocious wind that shot through the open door. The man sent it crashing shut behind him and the building reverberated with the sound of the slamming door. The sound was eerie and she could smell a musky-come Old Spice aroma in the air and she thought that it must have been coming from the man on the floor.
She then looked back to the man who was lying on the floor and he was suddenly consumed by fire. She heard him screaming while his hair curled as it was singed by the flames that wildly ate up all that was he, his hair, his clothes and his skin. The smell was pungent and she began to gag and then to vomit, but as much as the man screamed for help, she stood there rooted to the spot.
Then the whole image disappeared as fast as it had appeared. Again she was standing in the building alone when the door opened and in walked the blond haired blue eyed man from her dreams, followed by two burly men. Right behind them was the man with the long black coat, and although she could not make out his face clearly, she thought he looked a little like the man she’d seen at the picnic under the wisteria. Suddenly she was consumed by the desperate need to escape the tin building and so she began running.
She awoke and looked around the room that was flooded by moonlight, “It was just a dream Kodi, you’re fine,” she told herself. But as she turned over in the bed she felt her hand land in something sticky and warm and then the smell hit her, she’d vomited in her sleep, “Oh no, I chundered in his bed.” She got out of the bed and limped to the door and called out, “Heathcliff,” and then she began to cry.
Heathcliff heard her call his name just as he had sat down at the computer again, so he went to her, “What’s the matter little one?” he asked out of habit and then the smell hit him, “Oh no you’ve been sick. Don’t worry it’s okay, we’ll just clean you up and everything will be fine. Come and sit on the chair here,” he said as he led her over to the chair.
“I’m sorry I was sick all over your bed,” she said as she began to cry audibly.
Heathcliff went and crouched down beside her, “It’s okay Kodi, it happens to us all at one point or another, I’m not mad at you, I’ll just change the bed and all will be well, okay?” he said as he gently stroked her arm. Heathcliff then walked to the bed and started to pull the blankets from it while Kodi continued to speak, “I had a bad dream, and um I was sick in the dream and um…maybe…
“Kodi, it’s fine, it’s okay. Just let me clean this up and then we’ll get you sorted out because you’re covered in it too,” he said from the other side of the bed as he began to strip the sheets from it.
Kodi looked down the front of her clothes only to see that there was vomit all down the front of her and then she saw it, “Heathcliff, I’M BLEEDING!”
Heathcliff let go of the sheets and walked over to where she was. He crouched down in front of her and said, “Kodi, Kodi, listen to me, you’re just imagining the blood.”
“No I’m NOT, it’s there see?’ she said as she pulled her top away from her skin to show him.
Heathcliff took her hands in his and said, “No Kodi, listen to me, close your eyes for a moment and think about something you like, a safe place, a favourite place, can you do that for me?” Kodi closed her eyes for a moment and then Heathcliff said, “Now open them again.” Kodi opened her eyes and Heathcliff said, “See, no blood Kodi, it was just a residual after effect of your dream, nothing more.”
“That’s weird,” said Kodi when she saw that there was no blood. She stopped crying and began to wipe at her eyes but merely managed to put more vomit on her face. “Don’t do that Kodi, here,” he said as he grabbed a T-shirt from the laundry basket beside the chair and began wiping her face with it.
“The human mind is a complex thing Kodi, it can make you see all sorts of things that are not there, particularly after you have had a very vivid dream.” He handed the T-shirt to her and went back to the other side of the bed to finish what he had started. As he worked away, he kept an eye on her as she sat there sniffing and trying to get the vomit off her face and out of her hair. Once he was finished changing the bed, Heathcliff then took Kodi to the kitchen to clean her up as best he could. Then he carried her back to the bed and tucked her down with Harry at her feet again; “If you need anything Kodi, just call out and I will come to you, ok?”
“Yup, and thank you Heathcliff,” she said slightly embarrassed that she had put him to so much trouble in one evening. She drifted off back to sleep again but then woke with a start because she thought she might go back to her dream, so she got out of bed and slowly but quietly made her way to the door. She looked down the hallway and then slowly walked down the hallway. As she approached the lounge she could see that Heathcliff was reading something on his computer screen. The title was written in quite a large font, and she could see the name Zachary, but deciding not to interrupt what Heathcliff was doing, she quietly went back to the room and got into bed. She lay down again and drifted off into peaceful sleep.
It was just gone 3.00am when he hit the wall with his novel and could think of nothing more to write, and so he was flicking back through some other files when he came across the story he had written about Zachary. He thought he sensed someone standing behind him, so he turned around to see if Kodi had woken and come out to see him, but there was no one there, so he shook his head and turned his attention back to the screen. Then he decided he should look in on her, so he went and did that and then returned to his seat in front of the screen.
“Zachary, Kaleb’s father,” Heathcliff said to himself.
He sat there remembering the day that they had been told the story about Zachary’s first work over on the other side of the mist. It had been a sunny day and they had been sitting outside on the grass at Archim’s farm under a big sprawling Oak tree.
“Back in the days where we hadn’t really gained an understanding of the disgusting and vile depths of debauchery some humans are capable of sinking to. Before we understood the madness of the machinery that drives sane men to doing unthinkable things to others. Back to the days where I would never have even been able to comprehend what has happened to Kodi, and even now, what has happened to her pales in comparison to some of those things. But always to be remembered is that Kodi has not experienced what others have experienced, so the horror has had maximum impact on her, and to an extent it has impacted on me too I suppose. That the son should succeed where the father failed is just an irony I cannot fathom right now. But the murder of women and children seems inherent in the psyche of some people for some unexplained reason. It is what they lived for and what gave them their deepest sense of satisfaction.”
Kaleb, Taite, Johnny, Cassey and Heathcliff had been in school for a while at the time and Troy, Joan, Jimmy and Kendall were fifteen, having only just become of age, they had joined the school from that day. Troy had been very excited to hear about what went on over on the other side of the mist, as he knew very little. On their side of the mist children enjoyed a childhood unparalleled to anything anywhere else, and they were exposed only to that which was necessary, so everything was completely new to Troy, and he was wide eyed and ready to soak it up. Zachary began to tell the story of Rivka and Samuel.
“Saul taught me everything I knew up to that point and it was my first time working over on the other side, as you know. Rivka was a Jewish girl who had grown up in Poland with her mother and father and four other siblings, three sisters and a brother. The Germans happened upon their farm very early one morning, roused them from their beds and sent them to a work camp.
While at the work camp Rivka’s father contracted typhus and died. Rivka’s brother Stephan was crushed when a felled tree landed on him while he was working in the camp. Because they were Jews, they were not considered worthy of much care and therefore a doctor was never called for, so Rivka watched her brother die a slow and painful death over a three-day period. With the menfolk gone, it was decided by the powers that be that the women folk from Rivka’s family should be moved on, and they were headed off to another camp to which they travelled by train. Every now and then the train would stop allowing them to get off and find food, so Rivka’s mother Ruth decided that only one of them should leave the train at a time.”
“Why?” Troy had asked.
Heathcliff smiled as he sat there at his desk thinking back on how eager Troy had been to learn everything he could.
“Why Troy, I am getting there, patience, young man,” Zachary had said kindly. “Ruth knew that they were of little importance to the people who had taken charge over their lives, and she had heard rumours of what went on when people got off the trains, and yes the inevitable happened to them. It was the older sister Sophia’s turn to get off the train when it stopped to get food, but no sooner had she gotten off and walked along the platform then the train began to pull away from the station. Sophia ran, as did the other people who had gotten off the train trying to catch up to it. Ruth and her three remaining daughters screamed to Sophia to run faster, but as the train got further from her all they could do was scream out that they loved her.
The German soldiers on the platform who stood there watching the scene unfold initially laughed, but then they decided to make sport of the people running down the tracks trying to get back to their loved ones on the train. They began firing their weapons, and Ruth, Rivka and the two sisters saw Sophia fall when a bullet hit her in the back. The last thing they saw was Sophia lying dead on the train tracks behind them.”
Heathcliff remembered how the tears had silently trickled down Troy’s face as he listened to that part of the story, and he could not comprehend how people could be so cruel.
“But Troy still had a lot to learn,” said Heathcliff as he sat there reading the story he had written about Zachary, “so, for that matter, did I.”
Zachary had waited patiently while Troy regained his composure and the older students had comforted him. “So after about two weeks Rivka and her family arrived at the work camp, and as soon as they had arrived they were put through a test to determine their ability to be able to work efficiently. Anyone deemed unable to work was placed upon another train to a death camp, but Rivka did not know that was where the train went. Rivka’s remaining younger siblings, twins Tamar and Naomi failed the work test on account of them being far too young and requiring far too much care. When the soldier came past shrieking “Links, rechts,” the two youngest were ordered to the left away from Rivka and Ruth; their fate sealed. Ruth told the soldiers she would watch over the two girls to ensure they were no trouble and did their work, she even dropped to her knees begging. The soldier simply screamed that every minute Ruth spent watching the girls was a minute less she had to fulfil her own duties, so the girls were taken. I will not tell you what happened to the girls unless you particularly want to hear that part of the story? But for the sake of the younger newer students here I would prefer they did not hear it yet.”
Zachary did tell the whole group the final destination of the girls.
“Tamar and Naomi fell into the hands of Dr. Josef Mengele, the ruthless concentration camp doctor, more commonly know as the Nazi’s Auschwitz Angel of Death. As he walked the platform where the train had come to a stop, he began calling out the word, zwillinge,” thought Heathcliff to himself as he sat there reading.
“What is zwillinge and why was he so interested in them?” asked Kendall.
“Naomi and Tamar fit the bill for Josef Mengele, because zwillinge is German for twins. Josef had a particular interest in sets of twins, particularly identical twins, and Tamar and Naomi were identical,” said Zachary quietly. The class was then dismissed, but the older ones were asked to return to Ed’s place after dinner for an evening session where they would learn about the fate of the twins.
Heathcliff remembered how Troy had begged and pleaded to be allowed to join the group in the evening to find out what had become of Tamar and Naomi, but Zachary absolutely forbid it. Still Troy had argued with Zachary to be allowed to join in the group and in the end Zachary had become very angry with Troy and raised his voice at him, reminding Troy not to forget his place. “One of the few times Troy has ever had to be reprimanded in his life,” said Heathcliff out loud.
Joe and Ems, along with all the other parents of the students, had been warned that their son was about to experience something that would change him forever. They were told to expect anything from depression and a reluctance to eat, through to anger or pure unadulterated rage. It was explained to parents to allow their sons and daughters to work through their feelings at their own pace, in their own time, but that if it got out of hand that Ed, Saul and Zachary were there to help.
As tough of an ordeal as what they were going to go through was, it was a crucial part of their learning, and in order for them to keep moving forward toward taking their roles as helpers, they needed to experience it. It was as necessary as a medical student seeing their first corpse, or a vet having to euthanaise their first animal, or an astronaut having to make that first flight out into space.
When they got together again for the story of Naomi and Tamar, Zachary had asked Saul and Ed to join their group to be there for the young ones as they ventured forth into the story of the two girls. “You are about to see what pure evil, and true hatred and horror are all about. I will tell you the rest of the story now,” Zachary said, “but any one of you who would like to be excused at this point may leave.”
"None of us left, we wanted to learn, we wanted to know, and we all grew up that day,” said Heathcliff to himself as he sat there reading his story written so many years ago.

Zachary did not immediately tell them anymore of the story of Tamar and Naomi, he instead got them to close their eyes, hold hands and he took them back to that place, “When you have seen enough then simply open your eyes and you will see no more,” Zachary had gently explained to them.
“Is it going to be awful, father?” Kaleb had asked his father because he was unsure as to whether he would be able to endure seeing too much.
“It is going to be terrible Kaleb,” his father had gently responded.
“What none of us knew was that that was our first test to see where we would best fit as helpers,” said Heathcliff to himself as he sat there wondering whether he should even continue to read the story he had written at all? He decided to keep going with it despite his reluctance.
They had all shut their eyes and suddenly they were in a room where two little girls lay on a bed together in extreme filth, and both of the girls were in an extremely bad way, though no one at that point knew why. The smell in the place was what hit them first, the terrible dank smell of rotting flesh, vomit, urine and human waste. Taite was the first to open his eyes having seen enough already, but the rest kept their eyes shut and concentrated on what was happening in the room around them. They watched the handsome doctor wandering through the room wearing an extremely intricately tailored uniform and white gloves, whistling a tune from his favourite opera by Wagner, as he pointed to this one and that one barking orders at the nurses and other doctors present. And as they had stood there gazing around the room at the patients crammed into each bed, they were witnesses to the results of the most deplorable acts ever performed by one human upon another.
As the regal looking man waltzed around the room, they viewed children who had been so mutilated that they didn’t even look human any more, and some of them had been mutilated so grossly that their naked bodies did not present as male or female. Heathcliff had felt anger and revulsion for the man who had performed the ghastly acts upon children rise up inside his chest, and as he gazed over at Kaleb, he could tell he was struggling too.
Ed and Saul encouraged the group to stay and to learn, learn what happens, learn to grieve, learn to pity, learn to love even the most unlovable, meaning Josef Mengele himself. At that point Johnny had turned to Saul and said, “You may love that diabolical bastard, but I could never and if it were in my power, I’d slit his throat where he stands.” Johnny then opened his eyes leaving only Kaleb, Heathcliff, and Cassey with Saul, Ed and Zachary.
“That was so weird,” said Heathcliff out loud, “Mengele was so out of place, the contrast between him and the people in that room, I have never seen anything like it since.” Then Harry wandered out into the lounge and began scratching at the door to go out, so Heathcliff got up and opened a window for the cat, then he sat back down at his desk and returned to the story.
“Mengele had learned everything he knew from some of the most diabolical minds that had ever graced the planet, including one Dr. Ernst Rudin. Rudin decreed at the time, that not only were some lives not worth living, but that, as a matter of duty, it was a doctor’s job to systematically destroy such life. Mengele adopted the theory of Rudin and accepted it as truth making it his personal philosophy, and that was the reason he was able to bestow the most frigid cruelty upon the most vulnerable in the name of science and genetic purification," Zachary had explained.
Mengele enjoyed such pastimes as dissecting live infants, castrating boys and men without the use of aesthetic, and sterilising women through the use of radiation leaving them horribly burnt, and that was the charming side of Josef Mengele. Zachary had quietly explained what Mengele had come to believe in order that his students would see the danger of radical sick minds indulging in radical sick beliefs.
“Even his co-workers hated him, most of them turning up for work drunk as mutes because they couldn’t stand the human suffering, why he makes even Charles look tame,” thought Heathcliff sadly.
Naomi and Tamar were huddled together on a bed, Naomi with a distended belly, Tamar with her flesh rotting; both were starved beyond belief, yet they were still living.
“I still do not understand how people could look upon these children with anything other than love, but such is the sum of some of the minds in this world. Compassion is easily switched off inside the madness of the machinery. The machinery being the Nazi party and it’s belief, that madness being the things undertaken in the name of those beliefs. Ten million Jews in all died, this is merely the story of two little girls and the group of children they spent their last days on this earth with. Sadly, these children were too sick to even trade names, they were simply united in something horrific that they could never understand,” thought Heathcliff as he stared at the screen.
Heathcliff, Cassey and Kaleb had looked around the room a little more and everywhere they looked there was a new horror for them to behold. Naomi and Tamar had started out in the place commonly referred to as the Zoo, the place where Mengele kept his most exotic specimens, and while there he had showered love and attention on the girls and they had referred to him as Uncle Mengele. He exposed some of the twins to diabolical experimentation in the Zoo, but Naomi and Tamar had become ill before he’d even gotten to that part of their stay. When the girls had contracted some kind of disease, they had been removed from the Zoo and placed where they found them now, where Mengele’s cruelty knew no bounds. Once children had served their purpose, Mengele used to involve them in one last childhood game, and it was called ‘on the way to the chimney’. Naomi and Tamar, sick as they were at the time, were about to indulge in their last childhood game together while they held the hand of that kind doctor; Josef Mengele.
“How is it possible that two separate and diametrically-opposed personages can manifest themselves in the same individual?” Zachary had asked them all later?
None of them had been able to answer the question. They had all stood there watching as the two girls were led from their bed, through the ward and out into the cold. Mengele had walked with them, encouraging them to skip, but being so ill, the girls could do nothing but stumble through the snow barefoot to the crematorium where they were left alone to cross the mist.
“But they were not alone,” thought Heathcliff as the tears rolled down his face, “the helpers were there, hundreds of them ready to escort those poor babies across the mist.”
They had watched as the helpers tried to comfort the sick and dying children as they were herded into the chamber, and then they watched as the doors to the gas chamber had been closed. There was not much sound to be heard from the chamber, as most of the children had been too weak to cry or scream due to sickness and hunger. While the children remained in the chamber, Heathcliff and his group saw the helpers make their way over to the other side of the building and it was a very quiet, stoic congregation standing there waiting.
“What are they waiting for?” asked Kaleb.
“Just wait and see,” said Zachary quietly as the tears fell down his face. The next thing the little group had seen was the back door to the chamber being slowly opened, and as the helpers stared at the opened door suddenly the children dazed, confused and still in the state they had been in upon entering the chamber, slowly filed out. The air was still and the only sound to be heard was the crying of the naked children. Some of the children still lay inside the chamber, and helpers went inside and tenderly lifted them from the floor. Other helpers immediately made their way over to the children able to walk and gently lifted them into their arms while they tenderly spoke to them. Some helpers carried one child, some carried two, but every child there was taken into the arms of a helper, not one was left to walk.
Before they had time to register what was going to happen next, Heathcliff and the rest of the little group found themselves standing in an open field that was surrounded by trees and covered in flowers as far as the eye could see. Half way across the paddock they could see the mist, pure white and still.
“This,” explained Zachary quietly, “is the Sandanizta Mist, the place everyone from there crosses sooner or later.”
The group stood there for a while longer when suddenly they noticed some kind of movement inside the mist, and as they watched, they saw it was the helpers crossing through the mist with the children from the chamber. Children lay in their arms beaten and broken, eyes sunken in, bones protruding, but as they came through the last part of the mist the children began to be restored. By the time they had reached the side that Heathcliff and the little group were on, the children were healthy, smiling, clothed, their misery of a few moments ago pushed to the backs of their minds. The children then began to struggle to be let down from the arms of their helpers and they began running around laughing and playing with each other, and then they were led away to their new home by their helpers.
“Where do they go to?” asked Heathcliff.
“They go to a place where they will be children for as long as they desire to be children, and if they so choose to remain as children forever, then forever they shall be.”
“Do they remember what happened to them?” asked Heathcliff.
“Yes they remember, but memory is kind to them in that although they know that they have died unfairly, they do not recollect the exact details. For now the memories are vague and with the passing of time, the memories will linger no more,” said Zachary.
“Who cares for them now?” asked Taite who had rejoined the group unnoticed at some point along the way.
“There is a set of parents for all of the children where they go, and they are people from all times who desired to have children but never could, and everything from childhood that should have been theirs is there for them.”
“So they are happy?” asked Taite.
“They are extremely happy Taite, after what they have lived through, happiness is the least of what is owed to them. The place they live in now has a playground that would put Disneyland to shame, and it is theirs for however long they wish it to be.”
“What about Josef Mengele?” asked Heathcliff.
“He is still alive on the other side, running and hiding, but he will never be caught, not in that life,” said Zachary.
“So he gets away with what he did?” asked Kaleb incredulously.
“As far as the world is concerned, yes he does, but he will spend an eternity making amends here for all that he inflicted upon the innocent. The first place he will visit when he gets here is where those children have gone, but they will not appear as they do now, they will appear to him as he made them. For a long time it is all he will see until he begins to understand and repent for what he did. Once repentance has been reached he will assume a role of responsibility.”
“Responsibility?” asked Heathcliff, as he looked around at the other students who were just as shocked to hear it as well.
“Hey, someone has to clean the animal dung away in the park,’ said Zachary.
“The children will have to see him?” asked Kaleb becoming upset.
“He will be able to see them, but they will not be able to see him as they first saw him, he will look, well, different, and they will never know who he used to be.”
“But he’ll be there amongst them?” said Taite.
“He cannot interact with them in any way, shape or form, they are perfectly safe and he will be perfectly dealt with and remember, he chose it for himself,” said Zachary.
“What do you mean?” asked Heathcliff.
“He was spoken to before he ever went to Auschwitz, he chose to go ahead and do the things he did anyway and he will reap the reward of doing what he did. That is all you need to know for now,” said Zachary firmly.
“Hmm, you didn’t give us details then did you Zachary, but we know now what you meant. In 1979 he died from a massive stroke and his whole left side was paralysed; because he has still not fully grasped what he did, he is still hobbling along having not even reached the stage where he is even fit to hold the responsibility of cleaning up animal dung.” Heathcliff smiled sadly to himself, “Yes there is justice in the world, even if they didn’t live to see it, justice still reigns.”
Then Heathcliff thought about another man, in some ways not dissimilar to Mengele, “Eric Rudolph, bombing abortion clinics, killing the innocent for killing the innocent. What a twisted and confused place that world has become and it seems even time changes nothing. To the contrary, the cycle of violence is like a wheel in perpetual motion.”
Heathcliff’s mind wandered back to Zachary. Zachary then allowed the five older pupils a few days to work through what they had seen, and Heathcliff then remembered how he had felt over the next few days. “Anger, revulsion, frustration and cry, oh my gosh I didn’t think I was ever going to stop.”
He also recollected how at the time he, Taite, Kaleb, Johnny, and Cassey had gone down to the river and burned an effigy of Mengele, and how once it was on fire they had talked through the point of contention between them and the older helpers. The point of contention, having to love Josef Mengele, “How do you witness what he has done and then feel anything remotely like love for that heartless savage beast?” asked Cassey.
“I don’t think it’s about that at all,” said Heathcliff as he tried to skim stones across the water.
“Well what do you think it’s about?” asked Taite, “and you can’t skim stones on that water Heathcliff, it is moving too fast.”
“It’s about hating vehemently what he did, but separating the human from the monstrosity,” said Heathcliff as he began pelting the other side of the riverbank with stones.
“Yeah, I too think that’s exactly it Heathcliff,” said Kaleb, “hating what he did, yet not hating him. I’m not quite sure how you do that though, just that in some way you must be able to separate the human from the deeds.”
“What so you just let them off the hook?” asked Cassey incredulously.
“No, it’s not about letting them off the hook, I mean I’m not sure how you do it, just that it has to be done,” said Kaleb who began to help Heathcliff with his missile attack against the other side of the bank.
“Well I’m still with Johnny and would like to slit his throat,” said Taite as he poked the effigy in the fire with a stick.
“Amen brother,” said Johnny as he sat there watching the others.
“So, those of you who think you should love the man and hate the deeds raise your hand,” said a voice behind them.
They had turned around to see Zachary standing there staring at them having overheard everything they’d said. Cassey, Johnny and Taite felt terrible for having said what they did and they thought that they were in trouble for it. Heathcliff and Kaleb were the only ones to raise their hand, and later Cassey raised her hand too. That was something else that defined what their roles for the future would be.
No one would be forced to love Mengele or anyone else, they had the freewill to choose, but Zachary knew that only certain people with a particular personality trait could ever be used when it came to people like Mengele. And there were many people just like Mengele in the world and to be born into the world to come. It was not a matter of actually being able to love people like him; that was not a prerequisite, however knowing that they should love all people regardless of what they’d done, was. For it was not up to them to be the judge and jury for anyone, that domain lay the sole responsibility of God and God alone. A few days later when the whole group was back together again Zachary continued the story of Rivka and Samuel.
“Where was Samuel from?” asked an eager Troy, unaffected by the story of Tamar and Naomi because he hadn’t yet heard it. One of the older boys tried to sush Troy up, but Zachary admonished the older boy for telling Troy off.
“I do not know where Samuel came from Troy, I only know the story of Rivka because I was her helper.”
“Didn’t Samuel have a helper?” asked Troy.
“Yes,” said Zachary, “ but I never had occasion to speak with her until the day I was required to escort Rivka across the mist, and even then merely a nod passed between us, not a word was spoken.”
“Why?” asked Troy.
“Some reasons are never clear Troy, so I do not know why it was that way, just that it was.”
Troy had then quieted and allowed Zachary to continue on with the story.
“The time came where Rivka had to bury her own mother in the work camp, and once Rivka had done that, she decided to risk escape. For the sake of keeping this story shorter, I will not go into the actual escape, just accept that she did. She travelled for weeks before she managed to come to a little town, and on the outskirts of the town was a camping ground of sorts where they had cabins. The owner of the camping ground, Hans, was known externally to be a Nazi sympathiser and the German soldiers knew that they could count on him to round up all the Jewish and Hungarian folk to be taken away. The truth of the matter was, that Hans hated the Nazi movement and everything it stood for, but there was only so much he could do. The night before the soldiers turned up to collect them, Hans ran a lottery of sorts. In an effort to save some, they all wrote their names on a piece of paper and they were placed into a hat. The elder of the people present was a man named Mita. He conducted the draw and every name drawn up to the count of fifty, was to be handed over to the soldiers the next morning. Only six would have the opportunity to be spared; Rivka and Samuel were two of the six not drawn in the count of fifty. That’s when I realised that Rivka was not going to need my services so I went to leave, but Saul advised me to stay with Rivka for the next few days.
Rivka took up residence inside one of the cabins right down at the end of the park, that way if the soldiers were to return to do their own sweep of the place, then she would stand a better chance of hearing them before they found her. She even made a hole in the wall at the back of the cabin so that she could escape out it if trouble was to happen. It was moments after creating the hole that she got to test it because she heard someone approaching, and so she decided to slide out of the wall.
Samuel opened the door to the cabin only to see Rivka had her head stuck in the hole in the wall as she hadn’t made it quite big enough. Samuel stood there laughing, as you are doing now, and it made Rivka very cross. Rivka had just gotten up off the floor when there was a knock at the door, “Are you expecting anyone?” Samuel had asked.
Rivka explained that she was not, and then a voice in German demanded that they open the door immediately, and so Rivka, despite being incredibly panicked, opened the door and there stood a pair of German officers. Rivka knew German, so she greeted the officer and bowed her head slightly as she commended him on the wearing of such a mighty uniform, and the soldier was immediately taken with Rivka.
The female officer stood there staring at Samuel, but she did not speak to him, which was just as well because he knew no German at all. Anyway, the male officer asked for Rivka’s travel documents, her identity papers and she explained to the officer that she had placed her baggage upon Hans’s cart on arrival to the camping ground, and that some filthy Jew had stolen everything she had, including her papers. The officer assumed Rivka and Samuel to be married, and so he merely took Rivka over to Hans who was busy repairing a door, and he asked Hans what had happened to Rivka’s things. Rivka immediately reminded Hans that some filthy Jew had stolen them, and Hans played along.
The officer asked if Rivka had made arrangements to get their papers reissued, and she replied that she had, and so the officer took his female colleague away promising to return within the month to see the new papers.
Rivka brought them some time, not much, but some time, and so she and Samuel settled down to live within the park, and for a week things were blissful for the pair as they got to know each other.
Rivka shared her story with Samuel and told him what had become of her family, including the twins being sent on a train with Hungarian Gypsies to Auschwitz. Samuel knew what would have become of the twins in that place once he had ascertained that they were identical, but he did not share that with Rivka.
Unknown to them, one of the fifty people rounded up the week before, Mita’s son Aaron to be precise, had bargained for his life with a guard. He told him that he could give them the name and location of a German Jewish sympathiser and so Hans’s cover was blown. The officer and some of his cronies turned up at the camping grounds at an early hour of the morning, they shot Hans’s wife and children in front of him and then they shot Hans.
Rivka and Samuel heard the gunshots, but it was too late to make a bid for freedom, and so I held Rivka’s hand as she was led outside and shot in the courtyard. Just as I was leaving with Rivka to bring her across the mist, I saw Geraldine holding Samuel’s hand as he was shot, she nodded at me and I nodded back.”
“They shot him for helping others? They shot Rivka and Samuel all because they wanted to live?” asked Troy confused and saddened.
“The point of this story, particularly for you older ones present is that there is no level of debauchery that is too low for the human psyche to sink to. There is nothing so cruel that it cannot be bestowed upon poor unsuspecting vulnerable people. This is our job, this is what we do, and in a few months time, the older ones here will be allocated their first tasks because you have proved yourselves ready.”
Then Troy had piped up again asking a question of someone they’d all taken not much notice of, so little notice in fact that when Troy asked, they didn’t even know who he was talking about, “Excuse me Zachary,” said Troy, “but what happened to Aaron?”
“Who’s Aaron?” asked Heathcliff.
“Mita’s son,” said Troy, “the one who told them about Hans.”
Saul, Zachary and Ed had been impressed with Troy because he showed an attention to details that no one else had displayed, and before he was even allocated a role, they knew exactly where he would be placed, “Aaron was transported to another camp called Plaszow where the camp Commandant Amon Goeth shot him dead for sport,” said Zachary.
“Why did he do that?” asked Troy trying to fathom why someone would do something so horrible, and in that moment Heathcliff pitied his young brother for what he had yet to learn.
“He was indoctrinated in a belief system that held total disregard for human life Troy,” said Zachary.
“So what happened to Amon Goeth in the end?” he asked eager to have every part of the story straight in his mind.
“Well Amon Goeth went on trial, was found guilty of war crimes and was hung in September of 1946,” said Zachary.
“And did someone escort Amon across the mist?” asked Troy.
“Yes he was escorted across the mist as is everyone Troy, no one crosses the mist alone.”
“So where is he now?” asked Troy.
Saul smiled at Zachary, and Ed stifled a giggle at the boy’s incessant questioning, and then Heathcliff said, “Troy don’t ask so many questions.”
“No Heathcliff, Troy can ask as many questions as he likes, as can you all if you so choose,” said Zachary.
“So where is he?” Troy repeated.
“Well he reached repentance pretty fast, and as it happens he will be starting work soon as a stable hand, nothing fancy, but he has realised what he’s done, and he is working through a lot of things as we speak.”
“That’s disgusting and it makes me sick,” said Taite.
“Taite you have allowed what you saw make you bitter but you cannot be unkind in your bitterness. You need to work through your feelings properly before you pass your comments on to the younger students,” warned Saul.
“I don’t want to be a helper if it means helping disgusting prigs like Amon Goeth and Josef Mengele,” said Taite.
Troy and the others had just sat there while Taite lost his temper and said some other things that were quite dreadful, and in the end Ed and Saul had forcibly removed him from the group to go and cool down. But Taite was never able to really reconcile himself with pity being extended to anyone who hurt the innocent.
Heathcliff remembered the way Troy had talked non stop all the way home from that session, he couldn’t wait for it to be his turn to start being a helper, but he still had Naomi and Tamar to learn about. Heathcliff picked up the photo on his desk of him and Troy as children, “And just like me Troy, you too did not eat or sleep for days after you went to Auschwitz and learned the true nature of man at his worst. Then came the day each of us was allocated a role as helpers by the elders.. Their decisions were based upon all the experiences we had in our learning time with our teachers. Mine, as was yours eventually too, was to watch over children, same with Kaleb. Your attention to detail is what has always made you stand out from the rest, even from me, just about nothing gets past you does it? But Taite, he was assigned to a specific cancer ward of a hospital where he would lead children across the mist once nothing more could be done for them. He was not of the right temperament to deal with the diabolical because he could not see his way past wanting to exact revenge upon them. But Taite made it easier for the rest of us to understand just how tough it is for people in the world to forgive, especially seeing as how one from our side was struggling desperately with it.”
Heathcliff sat there thinking for a little while longer.
Others from their group had been allocated to the care of the elderly, and others, like Johnny, had been assigned to prisoners on death row, or in jails in other countries awaiting death. Some guilty of heinous crimes, others simply prisoners of conscience and they were really difficult cases to deal with too.
“Innocents fighting the good fight for the innocent and being punished for all they do, but they never give up, no, to the contrary they fight even harder. But I have never been able to understand why the stronger nations are so slow to get involved and stop the violation of human rights?”
Others had been assigned to the care of adult cancer patients, and people suffering from various diseases, and others, like Ed, Saul and Zachary, were all-rounders and teachers.

“Well that’s my stroll down memory lane done for another night, I wonder how Kodi’s doing? Perhaps I should go and look in on her seeing as how Harry has not returned yet?” thought Heathcliff. Heathcliff flicked the screen shut on the story of Zachary and went down the hallway to check in on Kodi. He saw that she was still sleeping peacefully, so he went back to his novel, but he couldn’t concentrate on that either, so he sat and read a book until the sun came up. At one point Harry gave him a fright as he scratched his way up the side of the house back inside the window again. He trotted past Heathcliff as though he had lived in the house for years, and Heathcliff couldn’t help but laugh.
The next morning Kodi woke late, the dream completely erased from her mind, and as she lifted her head from the pillow, she realized it hurt like three devils pounding a drum inside her brain, and so she eased her way slowly out of bed. The sun was blazing through the French door panes of glass casting all kinds of rainbow colours onto the wall. She stared at the wall momentarily mesmerised by the colours, especially the odd shades of purple.
Then she stood up, and as she did so she remembered what had happened in the bathroom the night before and looked around the room for a mirror, but there wasn’t one. Looking down upon her clothes that she had slept in she could see that all was well, there was no blood and that her clothes weren’t hers. She was wearing what looked to be a shirt that she assumed must belong to Heathcliff.
“So had it been just a dream?” she asked herself as the panic that had been rising in her chest began to ease up.
She remembered not to put her weight on her foot, and she also noticed Harry asleep on the end of her bed, “No, his bed,” she said out loud.
As she stared at the bed she said to herself, “This bed is like something out of the Mallen Streak, or maybe the Onedin Line, this room so isn’t ‘today’ at all, this whole house is like a time warp, the furniture, the books, even the birdcage looks antique.”
She opened the door wider and was immediately greeted by the sound of music, “Ok so that’s definitely modern,” and the most amazing smells, “It smells like McDonalds,” she said, and she followed her nose to through to the kitchen.
“Morning sleepy head,” he said as she hobbled into the kitchen.
“Hey there Heathcliff…love the music…”
“Rose of…
“Cimarron,” she finished.
“Poco,” Heathcliff said.
“Yeah, Poco, I love their music, and whatever you’re cooking smells great.”
“Pancakes…want some?” he asked staring intently at her; his harshness seemed to have softened overnight.
“Yes please, that’d be great.”
“What do you want with them?”
“Oh apple, Kiwi fruit and maybe some strawberries,” she asked knowing full well there weren’t any strawberries about as the season hadn’t yet started.
“Sure, whatever madam would like madam gets,” he smiled at her and set about peeling apples, cutting Kiwi fruit and strawberries, “and it wouldn’t be complete without loads of Maple syrup and a dusting of icing sugar, yeah?”
“Yeah, how’d you know?” “Okay so this guy’s onto it.”
“Just a guess, you know, you kind of look like a maple syrup and icing sugar kind of girl. Go sit out on the porch swing and I’ll bring breakfast out to you.”
“Hey um, do you…
“Oh yeah I meant to ask you, did Ed explain to you about the other side of the river, you know Charles and those like him?”
“Yeah, sort of. I’m not really worried, I wouldn’t ever want to run into him or anyone like him again though, he was really creepy you know?”
“Yeah, well that’s good,” he said as he wiped his hands on a cloth. He’d sat awake all night thinking about the past, the present and the future, and he was very tired, but relieved to hear that the chances of her running into that monster again were pretty much zip.
Kodi decided to try and be helpful seeing as Heathcliff seemed to be making an effort, “You want me to carry something out to the porch since I’m going that way?”
“Are you serious Hop-along Cassidy? Go out and sit on the swing, enjoy the morning sun and I’ll bring this out when it is ready.”
“Um Heathcliff, why am I wearing your shirt and where are my clothes?”
“Don’t you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“You were sick last night and I had to wash your clothes, they are folded on the chair over there. You can go and change into them in my room if you like,” he said smiling at Kodi.
“I was sick?”
“Yeah, everywhere, you don’t remember that?” he asked quizzically.
“No, no I don’t,” said Kodi, feeling confused.
“Oh well, you were and there’s your clean clothes, and…ah…all’s well that ends well right?” he said as he turned back toward the stove to get on with what he was doing. He hoped his casual attitude to that event would set her at ease, that she would go and get dressed and that that would be the end of it.
“Where do you want me to put your shirt?"
“Just leave it on the chair Kodi, I’ll deal with it later,” he said without turning around to face her. Heathcliff kept busy with what he was doing as she hobbled to the room to change, and when she was done, she hobbled out to the porch swing. As she sat there, she thought some more about what had happened the night before, “Oh that’s why my head hurts, I fell. But how did I get back to bed, and where in the world did he get strawberries from?”
She peered toward the door and then looked to the backyard and she could see all sorts of different coloured birds quenching their thirst at the birdbath. Then she noticed Albion lying under a tree beside the pool and as she stared at him she thought, “You really do look like something out of the Omen, lucky for me you don’t behave like it.”
Kodi thought about the images from the movie where the man had gone into the graveyard to dig up the grave of Damien’s mother to find out for sure if he had been born of woman or Jackal, and those ferocious Rottweilers had chased him from the graveyard. She felt a chill run up her spine at the thought, and as she felt the sensation, Albion opened one eye and stared at her, “Don’t Albion, you’ll creep me out.” Albion shut his eye again.
Within five minutes she was sitting on the porch swing in the gentle morning sun eating breakfast with the man she had considered an ogre not twenty-four hours earlier. The food Heathcliff made was really nice and it reminded her of a café she used to go to back home in Mt Eden, “Wow,” she said out loud.
“Wow what?”
“You’re a really good cook you know that?”
“Yeah, I was made to learn.”
“Did you want to learn?”
“No, not to begin with, but it was explained to me that it was a skill that one day might just come in handy.” “I wonder if this is why Annie made little sense sometimes? She was a fabulous cook, I wonder if Kodi cooks?”
“I hate cooking and I hated being taught how to cook, it drove me mad,” she said staring at him.
“But you can cook right?” he asked cautiously.
“Me? No, I couldn’t cook if my life depended on it.”
“But you can cook a little bit right?”
“No, I can’t cook anything at all. Everything I try to cook turns out disgusting,” she said waiting to see what his reaction would be.
“Oh,” he said surprised. “A female who can’t cook, what a novel idea. This is beginning to make sense, oh please don’t make sense to me Kodi, I’m not ready for this to make sense.” he thought to himself.
Then Kodi launched into telling him what she had been thinking before he brought up the can or can’t cook conversation, “I was just thinking of this place I used to go back home that made exactly the same pancakes as these. I used to go there with two of my friends and we’d sit there just watching people walking by, it was really interesting.”
“What kind of people?”
“All kinds, street preachers, man they were wild, they didn’t care what people said to them and there sure were some hecklers out there you know? And then there were homeless people, some of them were really interesting.”
“You find homeless people interesting?”
“I find all people interesting, everyone has something unique about them, but you can’t always see what it is without getting to know them, and yet others, well it’s as obvious as anything.” Kodi stared at Heathcliff wondering if he would find what she said strange?
“Sounds like you spent quite a bit of time watching people.”
“You have no idea,” she said staring out across the lawn dreamily.
He sat there thinking to himself, “Don’t bet on it Kodi.” “You’d be surprised,” he said smiling at her even though he could tell she was somewhere far away in her thoughts. Kodi tapped her fork against the plate as she sat there remembering the guy who used to draw postcard portraits for people who passed him by on the street.
“Huh?” she asked realising he’d said something to her that she’d missed and continued on in her daydream anyway.
“Those postcards were amazing, the harbour with the boats floating on it under the moonlight, the sunsets and sunrises. Everything he drew looked life-like and they had a feel about them that was relaxing, it made you want to stare at each picture for hours. A bit like Vincent Van Gogh’s Starry Night, I could stare at that for hours, same with Arcimboldo’s Librarian, wonderful paintings, wonderful painters.
I wonder what ever happened to that man who painted those postcards? He just disappeared one day and never came back again. I wonder if some girl in some other time wondered the same thing about Adolf Hitler? He painted postcards too I think and when he quit he became Chancellor and then murdered a few million Jews, but I wonder if some girl in Vienna wondered where he disappeared to all those years ago? Makes me kind of wonder if life is just a repeating cycle, well a somehow randomly repeating cycle? Like, you know, the same things happen over and over again but not necessarily in the same order? Just seems weird that human behaviour doesn’t change all that much the world over.” she thought.
“Okay so she’s off with the fairies somewhere, just staring straight ahead never blinking and not moving a muscle. What are you thinking about Kodi Madison?” he thought as he stared at her.
Then she snapped out of her daydream as suddenly as she had slipped into it. She looked Heathcliff squarely in the eye, “Heathcliff, did I fall over in the bathroom last night because I have this amazing headache and the last thing I remember is being in the bathroom. I was looking out the window at my house and it was gone. Then I looked in that big mirror you have in there and, well I mean I know that sounds crazy but I wasn’t looking too good last night, I looked like I’d been savaged by something and I know that there’s no way that’s possible.”
“Whoa, didn’t see that coming at all. Think fast, Heathcliff.” “What your house being gone, you falling or you being savaged?” he looked at her inquisitively, “Tread very carefully Heathcliff.” he said to himself.
“My house being gone, being savaged, falling, the whole deal really.”
“Well you must have dreamed it because once you went to bed you never got up again aside from when you were sick, and all you did then was sit on the chair until I took you out to the kitchen to clean up.”
“Heathcliff, I DID get up, I remember it clearly because I asked you where the bathroom was and you carried me there.” “He’s got to be lying to me because if he’s not then I truly am losing my mind.”
Heathcliff shook his head, “No I didn’t. I never saw hide nor hair of you once I put you to bed after you were sick. Besides, there’s no mirror in my bathroom, never has been.”
“What is he up to?” “Heathcliff, I remember it.”
“Annie just stop it, it NEVER HAPPENED!” “Oh no, I just called her Annie, or maybe I did say Kodi and I just thought I said Annie? Oh man I hope I said Kodi. What if I did say Annie? I’ll have to cover it fast, think Heathcliff think!”
His outburst of anger scared her, and made her jump, and that wasn’t her name, “Annie? I’m…I’m Kodi Heathcliff…Kodi,” “What the heck are you up to and who the hell is Annie? Oh of course, she’s the previous girlfriend.”
Heathcliff looked about him awkwardly and then looked at her, “Sorry Kodi, I didn’t mean to scare you. I…I stayed up all night working, I…ah…I didn’t mean to call you Annie…I’m writing a new novel at present, Annie is the name of the main character…I’ve got the name on my brain right now. Even called Lenore Annie too.”
“Oh, Annie’s a character from his novel, well that explains it then.” “It’s okay Heathcliff, but you DID take me to the bathroom last night, I mean I remember falling and I have a headache like sixty banshees banging on a drum.”
“Kodi, listen to me carefully okay, you DIDN’T get up again after I took you to the kitchen, and you probably just had a really vivid dream. I mean haven’t you ever had a dream where it feels so real that you wake up and wonder if you’re still in it? The human mind’s a very funny mechanism, you can create almost anything, any symptom if you set your mind to it long enough.” “I have to get her mind off this, it’s too soon.”
“But the headache?”
“Maybe you don’t really have a headache, maybe it’s just a residue of the dream and if you stop telling yourself you have a headache then it might just ease up and wear off.”
“Okay, so maybe my headache is a figment of my imagination just as he says. Weird things can happen when you’re crossing the mist, well you can imagine weird things as you’re crossing the mist, maybe that’s what happened to me last night? I’d swear it was real though, maybe Chas is right, he says you can look beyond this world when you’re going through the mist. But I don’t know if I believe him, it was just a dumb description he made for something he can’t explain. And I’m sure it was Brodie who gave him that Sandanizta thing, Chas could never come up with something like that on his own.”
Albion had moved from the tree to the porch and was sitting there gazing up at his master, and so his master tossed him a piece of pancake, and then he went inside to make coffee. Kodi sat there wondering again what in the world was going on, maybe she had dreamed the trip to the bathroom, and the last time she looked out and saw something disappear she had just woken from deep sleep, so maybe she wasn’t going mad after all? Perhaps it was all just residue stress from her very traumatizing former life in the city and the good doctor was right, it’d just take some time to relax and settle down to normalcy again?
“Normal, what is normal anyway? I mean is there really any such thing? Normal compared to what?” She rubbed her eyes and turned to look toward the door where Harry was mooching with Lenore and that was when she noticed the vicious headache was gone.
“But there must be something wrong with my noggin because I can’t remember anything from before the funeral, I only remember the cemetery and the house, everyone going nuts around me saying terrible things. Then I passed out, but what happened before the funeral at the church?” she thought to herself as she sat there feeling spaced out.
The lady, Mrs. Willis, she’d met her at the hospital a few days after the funeral fiasco, and she’d taken her to see Doctor Logie. She’d woken on the floor of her kitchen again with a headache not too different from the one she’d just got shot of and she’d decided that that was it, she needed help desperately, maybe she’d go to the hospital?
At first she’d decided to go into work to see if Ruby was there, and if she was over her anger for what she had said to her on the day of the funeral. The entire way to work she had felt as though she was being followed, like someone was watching her. Every now and then she thought she caught a glimpse of a dark haired man in her peripheral vision, and she sensed he was not like other men. But every time she turned to stare directly at him he disappeared, and Kodi had begun to believe she was merely experiencing a new symptom of her brain tumour or whatever the hell was wrong with her.
Then she wondered about the plausibility of that symptom being because of a brain tumour. “Do women see good looking strange men when they have a brain tumour? I thought they just smelled burning feathers or something?”
She had always felt like she was being watched or followed, all her life, ever since she could remember. Even when she was playing in the local graveyard, she had always sensed someone was there, just behind her, maybe in front of her, she didn’t know for sure. Often times she had found herself glancing sideways or behind her because she thought someone was there. Every now and then she’d thought she’d caught a glimpse or whoever it was, but as she had gotten older the glimpses had become rare, until at around the age of fifteen or sixteen she had ceased catching glimpses at all. But the loss of the visions of her imaginary friend had been encouraged; still, the sense that she was never alone had never really dissipated. “Maybe it really is all a figment of my imagination?”
She’d gotten into the lift, and Ruby had actually stepped onto the lift beside her, “Ruby, I’m …I’m sorry about the day of the funeral.”
Ruby had sort of looked at her and then ignored her, then she’d checked herself in the mirror, and then stepped off the lift when it came to rest at the eighth floor.
The man stepped off the lift also and watched Kodi as she proceeded to try and talk to Ruby. She’d followed Ruby right across the room to her cubicle begging Ruby to talk to her, but Ruby made no reply. Then the phone had rung and Ruby had become engaged in conversation still ignoring Kodi, so Kodi had turned and walked to her own cubicle. It was still exactly the way she had left it. The article she had been working on pre-funeral sat on her desk and she briefly scanned it, something about random bombings, terrorist groups in the heart of the country, dawn raids and future threats to continue the campaign of terror. It rang no bells in Kodi’s memory, she couldn’t remember there being anything like that happening, “Mind you I can’t remember anything at all.”
As she walked past the other cubicles of people she’d worked with Duncan, Miles, Tricia, Kalpana, some of them had just looked at her but said nothing, and others had pretended not to see her at all. She had wondered whether her dreadful display had alienated everyone? She had decided that must be it because not one person had anything to say to her at all. Her heart began to beat fast and her head began to feel light, she knew she had to get out of there, so she made her way to the lift and went down to the first floor and exited the building. Kodi was beginning to feel really strange and she decided she desperately needed to get some help, NOW! She was aware that something was very wrong with her and she thoroughly believed it was physical in origin. The only choice she had available to her was to take the bus, and so Troy and Ems followed her onto the bus, “Where do you think she’s going?” he’d asked Ems.
“I don’t know, Troy, but it may just be the opportunity we’ve been looking for.”
Some really big lady had gotten on two stops after her and almost squashed her when she sat down beside her, “Excuse me,” Kodi had said to the lady really nicely thinking the lady could have sat in any number of other available empty seats, why’d she choose to sit by her? The big lady had ignored her, so Kodi had stood up to move to another seat, but the big lady had refused to budge and allow Kodi past her, instead she’d just looked out the window on the other side of the bus ignoring her. That’s when Kodi caught a glimpse of Troy again, but when she rubbed her eyes with her hand and then looked back, she could no longer see him. Kodi ignored thinking about what she thought she had seen and placed her attention back on the large woman who had her stuck. Kodi sat there trying not to think about being stuck but her mind insisted on travelling back in time to an incident that had happened when she was really small, when she was almost four. The cupboard, “Why did I do that?”
“Look at this, come here,” she had called.
“Here she goes again,” he’d said to himself as he stood there watching what was unfolding before his very eyes. “You wicked child, just like your mother. I know that you cannot help it, but that makes you nonetheless wicked.”
She had been playing in the garden, sifting dirt with an old silver colander that glinted in the sunlight. She was momentarily mesmerised by the glinting rays of light, but then she turned her attention to her sister who was calling to her from inside their stepfather’s shed. She didn’t really like to play with her sister where they couldn’t be seen, but her sister kept calling, so she went inside the shed to see what she wanted.
“Don’t go in there little one, go back to your garden, go back and sift your dirt.”
“Look at this cupboard, it’s like a bed. Get in there.”
“No, you get in there,” she said to her sister.
“Yes Miss Smarty Pants, you get in there if you think it’s so wonderful. But you don’t do you because you know exactly what you are doing. Four years old and you have murderous intent already. How many years will it be before she strikes back at you?”
“I’ll let you play with my Rosemary doll if you get in there.”
“The good old transparently dangling carrot trick, it seems little one that you never learn. You cannot trust her, you must never trust her, but that is who you are isn’t it, you’re too trusting.”
“Can I have Rosemary all night if I get in?”
“Yup, aaaaaaaaaaaall night,” crooned her sister.
So she climbed into the cupboard and she had to lie down flat to fit. She loved and adored the Rosemary doll because she had a little cord that you pulled and Rosemary would say things like, “I love you,” and other cute little expressions. As soon as she was laying down in the cupboard her sister laughed and slammed the door shut and ran off leaving her twin trapped in there.
“What I would give to be able to grab you right now and turn you over my knee you wicked little girl. Do you not know how much you pain your sister? Of course you do, but still, what I wouldn’t give to be able to teach you a lesson or two, lucky for you I cannot interfere with freewill, lucky for your sister that I watch over you both.” He was filled with great anger at what was unfolding before his eyes.
Initially she had thought her sister would simply open the door again and let her out, but within two seconds her heart rate had doubled and she was in a blind panic. Within ten seconds she was screaming to be let out and she kicked and scratched trying to get out but it was useless. There was no way for air to get into the confined space either, and somehow she knew she was in trouble. She continued to scream and fight in absolute panic because she didn’t know what else to do.
“Now to the damsel in distress I go.”
All of a sudden the cupboard opened and the light made it hard for her to see for a moment and so she just lay there snivelling rubbing her eyes. Once her eyes adjusted to the light she saw the dark haired man crouched by the open door and he helped the distressed child out of the cupboard. He sat her on his lap and gave the grubby little girl a cuddle, and then he stood up, turned around, ripped the cupboard door off its hinges and walked out. As he walked out he turned back to take one more look at her before he left, “Until next time little one, and there will always be a next time until ultimately one of you destroys the other.”
Kodi didn’t know who he was; just that he wouldn’t hurt her. He smelled nice, kind of musky come Old Spice.
“That was so weird, I remember him from somewhere too, but I don’t know where. Maybe I imagined him too? But that still wouldn’t explain how I got out of the cupboard because all the latches were on the outside, or maybe I’m just not remembering it right? Maybe she did come back and let me out herself, and I just imagined it was some nice caring dark- haired brown-eyed man? Well Kodi, there you have it, dark hair and brown eyes, your ideal man, the rescuer, the knight, of course you imagined him you silly girl.”
Kodi continued to chastise herself for turning vain imaginings into real memories. “Perhaps Marli was right, I really am a dreamer who can’t cope out in the real world so I invent stuff? But I saw him rip the cupboard off its hinges and I got the blame for it too, I remember the hiding, so maybe…oh I don’t know anything anymore.”
Kodi tried to erase the incident from her mind as she sat there trapped on the bus, but suddenly she’d felt trapped just like what happened with the cupboard. It was like being stuck in the back of a two-door car, her personal freedom at the mercy of the person sitting in front of her.

Kodi’s mind wandered back to a car ride she took with Chas and Xaan down the highway one weekend that seemed not too long ago. It was the first and last time Chas and Xaan ever made her sit in the back. She’d been okay for the first few minutes, but as soon as she told herself “See Kodi this isn’t so bad,” she began to notice her heart rate steadily climbing and she’d said to Chas very calmly, “Chas I think you need to stop the car.”
He’d responded, I can’t Kodi we’re on the freeway, I’m not allowed to stop for any reason.”
“Chas, STOP THE CAR!”
Kodi began to panic and every second that Chas kept the car moving felt like an eternity to Kodi being stuck in the back unable to get free. She began to shake his seat and cry, and then she went hysterical leaning through the gaps in the seats, grabbing the wheel and forcibly steering the car to the side of the road.
Chas had screamed at her, “Are you trying to KILL US?”
Kodi was breathless as he pulled the car to a sliding stop, got out and moved his seat forward so that Kodi could exit the car altogether.
“WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY WAS THAT?” he screamed, “I can’t believe you just did that, are you CRAZY?”
Kodi just stood there crying with relief that she was finally free from the trap saying, “I’m sorry Chas, I’m so sorry, I thought I’d be okay.”
“Hey steady on Chas, are you claustrophobic Kodi?” asked Xaan.
Kodi nodded her head, so Xaan got into the back and let Kodi sit in the front, but Chas was not amused, not amused at all, “You could have killed us.”
Kodi sat there on the bus trying very hard to think of something, anything else. Kodi even tried humming songs, stupid little ditties, but the more she tried to take her mind off it, the more her mind focussed in on it.
She thought back to the time Chas had taught her to drive American style, they’d gotten half way down a busy country road and Kodi had pulled over into a picnic area and refused to move. Five minutes earlier she had nearly killed them both by almost pulling out in front of a truck. She’d pulled out slightly and was looking to the right for traffic, “What the hell are you doing Kodi?”
“Looking for traffic.”
“Look at me Kodi.”
Kodi looked to him and snapped, “WHAT?”
Chas was pointing to the left and said, “Traffic comes from that way, kind of a small piece of information I thought you should have.”
“Oh man, I’m never going to get this,” she’d said as her foot came off the clutch and they’d inched their way onto the freeway.’
“KODI!” yelled Chas, “what the hell are you doing?”
Chas’ voice was drowned out by the truck beeping his air horn and giving Kodi an even bigger fright than the near miss had. She’d eventually pulled out into the traffic, but after being beeped at my almost every car that passed them, she called it quits.
“We’ll sit here all night if we have to,” Chas said crossing his arms defiantly.
“I can’t do this Chas.”
“Yes you can Kodi, you just don’t want to.” Chas tapped his fingers on the dashboard.
“I nearly killed us crossing into the wrong lane.”
“But you didn’t kill us Kodi, we are still here.”
“You want to chance it again?” she asked staring at him.
“Drive,” Chas had ordered, but Kodi refused, instead opting to turn the music on the car stereo up really loud so that Chas could no longer berate her for giving up.
“Girl Can’t Help It? How appropriate, except that I think she can,” yelled Chas over the top of the music staring at Kodi.
Kodi completely ignored him.
They sat there for two hours, and in the end Xaan had phone Chas on his cell phone, “Do you need supplies?”
“Pizza and something to drink because she ain’t moving anywhere.”
Chas made himself comfortable putting his seat back and resting his feet on the window ledge.
“Hey I’ll bring Ruby, Faith, Gary and Toby with me, we’ll have a picnic.”
“That’s not funny Xaan.”
“Make the best of a bad situation,” Xaan had replied.
So Xaan and the rest of them had turned up to the picnic area and Toby and Gary had gotten into the car with Kodi to try and talk some sense into her, but what they caused to happen was not quite what they expected. Kodi had jumped out of the car and lost the plot. She stood by the bank yelling at them all, “Look at this car, what is wrong with this picture? Huh? The steering wheel, the steering wheel is on the WRONG SIDE,” she said as she gave the car a kick, “and, HEY YOU,” she screamed at the traffic passing by, “YOU’RE ALL GOING THE WRONG WAY, THE WRONG WAY I TELL YOU!” She was screaming at the traffic, waving her arms and generally acting like a two-year old mid tantrum. Just at the precise moment she turned her attention back to the group of friends, some bald guy at a picnic table was watching Kodi as though he thought she was some kind of demented woman. She confirmed his suspicions when she noticed him staring and screamed at him, “AND WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?”
“Ah, don’t mind her she’s having a bad day,” said Chas.
“And she’s not from here,” said Gary as if that would somehow explain their friend’s strange behaviour.
“Oh sod…” Kodi slipped on the lip of the bank and disappeared down the side of it and the group of friends howled with laughter because the whole thing had looked so funny. In the end they elected Toby to go down the bank and fetch her up because the others were laughing so much they were crying.
“But you made me drive home didn’t you Chas, even though it took four hours, you made me do it.”
“If you don’t conquer this now Kodi, you never will,” he’d said at the time.
Kodi sat on the bus almost smiling at the memory of her friend Chas, not even just Chas, they had all been good friends, “Why did I have to screw it up by being a mort after the funeral?”
There wasn’t even any point to trying to do anything to change the situation on the bus, it was out of her control, so Kodi sat there trying terribly hard to just breathe and not lose it. The bus had started to warp and Kodi had felt herself getting light headed, but just before she was almost going to pass out the big lady got up out of her seat and exited the bus. She’d managed to make the rest of the ride on the oversized tin can to the hospital without incident.
Once they got inside the hospital Troy had said to his mother, “This is our chance, I have to go and see if we’ve got anyone here.”
“Are there usually?” Ems asked.
“Look around it’s a hospital, there’s bound to be people hanging around waiting.”
Ems and Troy looked around them desperate to find one of their own kind, well, one of Troy’s own kind. Troy went from cubicle to cubicle and he saw all manner of mayhem, a drug overdose, a shooting victim, and in one cubicle he even saw them trying to start the heart of a dead man and the man saw him, but Troy didn’t stop to explain. Then he saw Taite, “Thank goodness Taite is here,” he said out loud as he rushed to speak with him, but Taite was escorting a child by the hand, the child could not have been much older than six or seven years old.
As Troy walked toward him Taite said, “Troy my friend, it has been so long.”
They embraced and Troy knelt down to speak to the child, “And what is your name?”
The little boy replied, “Michael.”
“You’re not afraid are you Michael, you’re a very brave boy, and Taite here is a most excellent…”
“Angel,” said the little boy.
“Yes, yes Taite’s a very good angel.”
Troy didn’t see the harm in allowing the child to believe whatever he needed to in order he not become afraid and be unable to transition properly.
Troy stood again, “Taite I need your help.”
“What ya got?” asked Taite.
“Young lady, doesn’t know she doesn’t belong here anymore and we need to get her to where we are so that maybe she will be able to transition fully from there.”
“How far advanced is she Troy, not room 1215? I mean if you take her too soon you won’t be able to work with her at all.”
“Yeah, and I know, but she sees me every now and then, you know just snippets, but if we can get her to relax about what she’s seeing, then maybe we can get her through the process okay because she won’t fight with it as much?”
“Okay so where has she wandered?” asked Taite.
“All over the place, but my mother is dealing with her now, trying to get through to her, and I have no idea if she can even see my mother, but we have got to try something.”
“This work has not sickened you beyond your stomach yet?” asked Taite.
“Gets a little closer every time these days Taite, sometimes I just want to throw the towel in and go for something a little less gruesome you know?”
“Pull a Heathcliff?” asked Taite, and then he bowed his head slightly and said, “now that was totally uncalled for and out of line, forgive me Troy.”
“It’s okay Taite, and anyway, I am actually beginning to understand how he felt at the time. This is not the easiest of vocations,” said Troy.
“Yes and again I am very sorry,” said Taite as little Michael stood there staring up into his angel’s face.
“So you will help me with this?” asked Troy.
“Lead the way Troy and I will do what I can to help. Come on young man,” he said as he gazed down at Michael, “you are about to get the pleasure of meeting a very great lady,”
The two men, with the child in tow, headed back out into the busy main foyer of the hospital where they saw Ems talking to the young girl. When Kodi had walked into the hospital the smell, the crowd and the noise was just overpowering. Kodi had a most vicious panic attack, which caused her to slide down against the wall, and she was just midway through it when Mrs. Willis had crouched down beside her and said, “Can I help you honey?”
“Kodi looked at the lady and she’d said, “I think I’m going to die.”
“You’re not going to die honey, you’re going to be just fine,” said Emily as she lightly touched the girl on the arm.
“I need to see a doctor,” said Kodi as she desperately tried to fill her lungs with air, which resulted in her hyperventilating.
“I know you do and I shall get you to one immediately, but stop gasping for air honey, you are not dying.” Ems pulled Kodi to her feet as began to walk with Kodi who refused to budge a centimetre.
“I can’t do this, I can’t stay standing and walk or I will pass out.”
“Just come with me dear, I promise you, everything is going to be just fine.”
People milling about jostled and bumped into Kodi and Mrs. Willis, which only served to make Kodi feel worse. They walked down a corridor and went into a room that simply had a number on the door. Troy and Taite were relieved to discover that for some reason the young woman could see Ems. Taite sat the young Michael down on a chair outside the room by a water cooler and told him to remain there.
He and Troy made their way into the room and surprisingly Kodi was able to see Taite too, but she still could not see Troy.
“Taite,” said Ems as she gave Taite a hug.”
“Dr. Logie to you,” he said casually hoping Ems would catch on to what he was doing.
“Of course, Dr. Taite Logie it is these days,” she said.
“Yes indeed,” he said smiling broadly.
That was when Kodi met ‘Doctor Logie,’ the shrink, and he told her she was suffering from panic and anxiety. She’d told him about the funeral for her sister and about her friends goofing off at her, taking the Mickey, being really cruel. Kodi told him that she’d lost it and said terrible things to all of them and that they’d all abandoned her. She explained to him how she remembered nothing from before the procession out of the church behind the coffin.
“Am I having a breakdown” she’d asked him tearfully.
“No, you’re not having a breakdown but you need to slow down, change your surroundings for a while, go somewhere different from where you are now. Stress does terrible things to us all if it hangs around too long, and you my dear are very definitely cooked.”
“I see things that aren’t there, I see this man who’s not really there,” and she burst into a fresh bout of tears. Taite looked over at Troy while Ems rubbed her hand, and then Taite told her, “Stress does terrible things to our minds and I’m going to ask you to do something that might sound really silly the next time you think you see this man.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to acknowledge that you’ve seen him, you know, smile and say hi or something.”
“That’s crazy, why am I going to talk to someone who’s not really there?”
“Because that way it won’t freak you out, you won’t become afraid, thus you won’t go into panic. I call it humouring fear.”
“Don’t I need to go onto some pills for crazy people or something?”
“No Kodi, you’re not crazy, you’re just tired and stressed.”
“So you…Doctor. Logie, the resident shrink are telling me to talk to someone who’s probably not even there… humour the fear?”
“Yes.”
“But I have had this problem before when I was a kid. I used to see this, this…this man and the doctor told me I had to ignore him every time I saw him, and it worked, it made him go away and never come back, until now anyway. Now you want me to talk to him?”
“Yes Kodi. Ah…Kodi, is the man you’re seeing now the same man you used to see when you were a child?” asked Taite.
“Yes, no, I don’t know…maybe…but they’re different and yet they seem the same. Oh Dr. Logie, I don’t know, I’m…so…so confused.”
“Kodi trust me when I tell you to humour the fear, okay?’ said Taite kindly.
Kodi looked into his eyes and for some reason believed that what he was telling her to do was probably for the best. He was the doctor, she was the patient, “Okay it’s crazy, but if it helps I’ll do it,” she said smiling suddenly thinking that the shrink was crazier than she was.
“Kodi don’t expect to become well overnight okay? It’s going to take some time, just rest up, do things you wouldn’t normally do, and for goodness sakes get out of the city.”
As Kodi had walked out of the hospital she swore she saw Doctor. Logie walking out of the hospital with a young boy, but no longer was he wearing his white coat. She wondered how he had managed to get from the room back behind her to the outside of the hospital before her when she had left the room first with Mrs. Willis leaving him sitting at his desk? Kodi did exactly what Doctor Logie told her to do, she humoured the fear saying, “Whatever you want to see and think brain.”
Troy, who was walking on one side of her, smiled at his mother who was walking on the other. Oddly enough Mrs. Willis (who turned out to be Dr. Logie’s friend) had an unoccupied fully furnished house Kodi could move into out in the country, which suited Kodi because she didn’t want to have to move anything. Mrs. Willis had warned her that the house had a mouse problem and that it would do no harm if she were to bring a cat. When Kodi told her she didn’t have a cat, Mrs. Willis had set it up for Kodi to get one from the local cattery at Martha’s Farm.
“That’s when I got you, Harry the bird eater.”
She didn’t have the energy for anything beyond moving personal stuff like books, computer, stereo and CDs. Moving a whole house would require much more physical exertion than Kodi had left to spare, so she’d skipped out leaving everything else behind. She had no doubt her landlord would sell it all, anything to make a quick buck.
It never occurred to her to wonder why Mrs. Willis had been so willing to help a stranger, but Kodi knew she’d have done the same if the situation had been reversed. That was Kodi, her compassion was her weakness, and many times it had come back to bite her, but she was compassionate beyond most, so it wasn’t so odd of an idea that a stranger, especially a woman, would want to help another, well not to Kodi’s mind. Doctor Logie had assured Kodi he’d known Mrs. Willis for years, and that it would be silly of Kodi not to take up the kind offer, even if only as a temporary measure. So Kodi had jumped at the idea to get away, and here she was, but she didn’t seem to be getting any better.

As Kodi sat there on the swing thinking back, she jammed her hand down into her pocket and she felt something cold like metal touching her fingers, and as she grasped the object she knew immediately that she had found her keys. She pulled them out looking at them incredulously knowing for sure that they hadn’t been there last night. Just as she went to put them back into her pocket Heathcliff came out onto the porch with two coffee cups. When he saw what she was holding in her hand he said, “So you found them then?”
Kodi looked at him and said, “They were in my pocket, they were right there, yet when I checked my pockets last night I swear they weren’t there.”
“Now he’ll think I hid them on purpose, how embarrassing!”
“She’ll be thinking that I’m thinking that she hid them on purpose as an excuse to come here or something.”
“It was probably just the shock of cutting yourself, you know your mind went a bit bye bye so you wouldn’t have been thinking coherently.”
“Shall I tell him how I’m feeling? He seems nice enough this morning. I mean last night I wouldn’t dared to have said anything of the sort to him, but he seems like he’d understand today. Well, what can it hurt? I could have a panic attack any time so I guess I should say something that’ll let him know I’m not firing on all cylinders right now. He certainly can’t think any worse of me than he already must.” “Heathcliff, I think I’m going crazy, I think I’m losing my mind.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for it, you know, return it when it shows up again?” he smiled at her.
“Heathcliff! I’m serious, I’m losing the plot, I mean I look out the window some nights and I swear your house isn’t here.”
“Don’t be daft Kodi, it’s just your imagination going into overdrive.”
“No it’s not, what happened last night, it’s happened before, I think I’m going mad. I mean and you, you’re weird, I mean don’t you even wonder who I am, where I have come from, I mean I could be an axe murderer for all you know.”
“She thinks I’m weird? Oh no, she’s most certainly got the monopoly on the weird stakes right now! But I should reassure her that she is in fact not going crazy at all.”
“I somehow doubt that, I think your cat is more of a danger to me than you.”
“But aren’t you even curious?” she asked raising her voice slightly.
“No,” Heathcliff lied, sort of.
“I don’t even understand what’s happening to me Heathcliff, it’s all so confusing and I’m scared.”
Kodi began to cry and Heathcliff moved closer to her and put an arm around her, “Kodi?”
“What?” she asked through her tears.
“You’re not going crazy.”
“Yes I am.”
“No you’re not, you know how I know you’re not?”
“How…how do you know?”
“People who go crazy don’t know they’re going crazy, so the fact that you think you are is a sure fire sign you’re not, because if you were you wouldn’t know it. You’d be acting all crazy and everyone would notice but you, trust me you’re not crazy…admittedly your cat’s pretty interesting, but you’re fine.”
“Are you sure?” she asked staring at him, reading his eyes to try to see if he was telling her the truth or just trying to make her feel better with well meaning lies.
“Yup, I’m positive you’re as sane as me and you’re going to stay as sane as me, so in your deepest darkest just remember that.”
“He looks like he’s telling me the truth, so maybe I’m not going crazy? But if I’m not going crazy then what is really going on?” “Oh Heathcliff I’ve fucked everything up really badly, I’m here where I don’t know anyone and my friends have dumped me, and even my closest friend won’t return my e-mails.” Kodi began to really sob her heart out.
“She swore! She used the f-word, I can’t believe she swore, I thought she’d outgrown all of that?” “Yup, know what that’s like,” Heathcliff commiserated.
“It’s happened to you too?”
“Oh yeah, but it was a while ago, I’m over it now...of course e-mail was the least of my worries.”
“What happened?”
“My…ah…well my soul mate… the one I thought was my soul mate, well she left me.”
“Why did she do that?” Kodi asked.
“I’m not too sure, but maybe we weren’t right for each other?” he said.
“That’s terrible Heathcliff, what did you do?”
“I ran,” Heathcliff looked down at the ground when he said it, and Kodi got the distinct impression he was embarrassed by what he was telling her.
“You ran?” Kodi stared at him through her tears, she couldn’t believe that someone as strong as Heathcliff appeared to be would ever feel the need to run from anything.
“Yup started running and didn’t stop for months, and by that time everyone was pretty upset with me because I never made contact to let anyone know that I was alive and well.” “Okay so that part is a direct lie, but necessary, of course everyone knew I was alive, maybe not well, but alive nonetheless.”
“You came back though…so that’s good right?”
“Yeah, I came back, turned up bold as brass. I wasn’t any better for having run, and I hurt others in the process. But that’s romantic love for you Kodi. Love has no brains, no sensible thought processes exist inside love, and it just runs you blind from one mess to the next. Then it eats you up and spits you out, know what I mean?”
“Yeah, sort of.”
“If you only think you do, then you don’t, because if you did, it’d be a straightforward decisive ‘yes’ you’d be giving me.”
“Well I do understand Heathcliff, I have had some pretty interesting relationships with men too you know. Mostly my fault that it all went wrong though.”
“Why do you say that?”
Because I always get involved with the wrong kind of men for all the wrong reasons and no matter how hard I try to get it right I still get it wrong.”
“That doesn’t make it your fault any more than it was mine.”
“Who was she Heathcliff?” “I bet she was some blonde babe with cleavage like Anna Nicole what’s her name? What IS her name? I still can’t remember that part.”
“I don’t really want to talk about it any further Kodi, let’s just drop it and I’ll take you home when we’ve finished our coffee.”
“Okay.” She sensed that he was clearly uncomfortable so she left it alone.
“Hey and no offence, but when I drop you home you stay away from here, you stay away from me. It’s nothing personal, I just want to be left alone.”
Kodi was a little disappointed because she was sure she’d broken through with him and she thought maybe that she’d found a new friend. Heathcliff had seemed to be over whatever problem he had with her, yet the hostility was slowly creeping back; she could hear it in his voice. Having a new friend would have helped to keep her mind off Voh that’s for sure, but obviously she was doomed to be left wondering of him forever and a day. Kodi wondered what Voh was up to, had he found someone more exciting than her to be his sidekick? Perhaps that was the reason he was no longer talking to her, and how long had it been since she’d heard from him anyway? “And what was that about some horrible e-mail he supposedly sent me? I honestly don’t remember any such e-mail.” She couldn’t rightly remember anything anymore. “Whatever you want Heathcliff, I don’t want to be a problem or an annoyance.”
“Good,” was all Heathcliff said in reply. He took their coffee mugs inside and then returned with the keys to his car and Harry tucked under his arm, “Time to go.”

Later that afternoon Kodi found herself thinking about him and she knew that whatever had happened to Heathcliff, whatever she had put him through, it had obviously really hurt him because Kodi could swear she’d seen his beautiful brown eyes start to tear up when he was speaking of it.
Then she decided to go inside and try to send Voh an e-mail again, maybe this time it’d get through to him, maybe this time he’d answer her? Maybe it was a bad idea; maybe she should just leave him alone?
Then she wondered, “Do I live inside his memory as he lives in mine? Does he ever think of me at all, even in his everyday life, do I ever spring to mind? I wonder if he misses me as I miss him? I suppose it’s obvious he doesn’t because he’s not answering my e-mails, but maybe if I try just one more time?” she thought.
Voh
It’s me Kodi, what’s happening with you?
You just stopped talking to me and you said you’d never do that to me, you said you never do that to anyone. Did I do something to upset you? Did I say the wrong thing? I have been thinking about all the things I did say to you and I can’t see where I went wrong. You’re my friend and I miss you so very much, and maybe I sent you an e-mail during one of my ‘spells’, an e-mail that I don’t t remember sending. Perhaps I said things, mean things that I didn’t really mean? I always said I’d never hurt you Voh and I meant it, so whatever it is I did, please find it in your heart to forgive me because I miss you and I need you, and things have been so very weird for me lately, so weird you have no idea. Please answer me Voh because I can’t stand the silence, it’s deafening.
Thinking of you a lot.
Kodi
Kodi hit the send button before she had time to change her mind, but as soon as she hit the send button she regretted it. He’d know it was her as soon as he read it, misspelling because with ‘because’ was her trademark, like a part of her blueprint, and Voh had gotten to know the blueprint of Kodi very well. In fact Voh knew Kodi better than anyone else ever had, even someone who had been physically intimate with Kodi knew her less than Voh. This was just another opportunity for Voh to ignore her, that’s what she thought.
“Oh Voh, what the hell did I do?”
“Err in haste regret at leisure.” Oh yeah the great Chas was full of little ditty sayings like that, what was the other one he liked, oh yes, “Never attribute to Malice what can be attributed to stupidity,” or something like that. And Kodi had had occasion to throw that little ditty back at him too.
Kodi remembered the day she had met Chas’s new boyfriend Xaan, it was a brief meeting outside a record bar, but Kodi had liked Xaan straight off. Chas was so excited about having met Xaan, but to begin with the relationship had been strained, mostly due to Chas’s insecurity.
Xaan had to go away on a course as part of his training and he had given Chas his cell phone number to call him where he was going to be staying. So Chas had phoned him, but instead of having his insecurity allayed, it had been heightened. Kodi had been summons to an urgent lunch date with Chas to discuss the current crisis.
“Kodi I rang the number and someone picked it up and said ‘Hello, Damien’s phone.’ Who the hell is Damien and what is he doing with Xaan’s phone? Or is Xaan really Damien and he’s been stringing me along?” Chas was panic stricken and Kodi felt quite sorry for him in a way.
“I’m sure there’s some kind of logical explanation for all of this Chas, phone back and ask for Xaan.”
“But what if they don’t know anyone named Xaan?” Chas asked.
“What if they do and this is just some simple misunderstanding?” Kodi responded becoming increasingly impatient.
“But what if it’s not?” Chas stared at Kodi like he was pleading for her to allay his fears, so she tried her hardest to do just that.
“Call him and I’m sure everything will be fine Chas.”
“I’m too scared to find out.”
“Chas you have to find out. Either way you’ll know where you’re at, and if you don’t make the call you’re going to drive me and Ruby nuts with this until Xaan gets back, and I don’t think I can cope.”
“You make the call,” Chas had said as he thrust the phone at Kodi.
“I’m not making the call Chas,” Kodi said as she shoved it away.
“Please make the call for me Kodi.” Chas thrust the phone at her again and he looked like one of those Beagle dogs begging for a pat or a bone or something.
“No,” she said weakly, her resolve pretty much beaten down.
“Don’t make me beg, it’s ugly, but I will beg if you force me to. Right here right now I will get off this chair drop to my knees and beg at your feet in front of all these people.”
“Don’t you dare Chas…Chas get up from there, didn’t your father ever teach you it’s not manly to beg?”
“My father was a drunk Reverend as you know, amongst other things, so he wasn’t really one to stand as a shining manly example of what one should or shouldn’t do. Now Ruby, well…”
“Fine! Spare me the pity party, I’ll make the call,” Kodi had said feeling sorry for him and slightly mad at him too.
Chas had gotten up off his knees, got back on his chair and then sat there chewing his nails while Kodi waited for someone to pick up the phone at the other end. She reached out and slapped Chas’s fingers away from his mouth.
“Ouch,” he’d said.
“Do you know how many germs live under your nails?” she hissed at him.
“Is anyone answering yet?” Chas began to tap his fingers on the table, so Kodi grabbed them and began to twist them.
“Ouch let go of my fingers.”
Kodi gave them one more twisting tug and then let go.
“That bloody hurt,” Chas said staring at her.
Eventually the phone had been answered with the same sentence, “Damien’s phone.”
“Is Xaan there?” she’d asked.
“Ah no, Xaan’s away at a course, this is his older brother Damien’s phone, you need this number,” and the person had rattled off another number that was only one digit different to Xaan’s number. Kodi scrawled it down, thanked the person and hung up.
“And you were going to throw away a perfectly good man over a number which YOU wrote down wrong…it’s his brother’s phone you Wally, Damien is his brother! And anyway, what about Brodie?”
“Brodie’s gone back to LA, he’s um, he’s sick. Actually he’s more than sick, he’s dying.”
“What so you just dump him?”
“It’s more than that Kodi, he didn’t tell me he was HIV let alone had full blown AIDS. He risked my life, he allowed me to risk my life without giving me the benefit of doing it through having made an informed decision.”
“Oh shit. Have you, well, have you had the te…”
“No and I’m not going to,” said Chas as he looked down at the floor.
“Chas, look at me, what about Xaan?”
“We’ve opted for celibacy, well maybe celibacy, we’ll see how things go,” he said as he met Kodi’s stare.
“This is someone’s life Chas, you have to take the test so that Xaan can make an informed decision, and I don’t think you should have let Brodie go off to die alone.”
“Listen to me Kodi, you’re my friend, but don’t you ever talk to me about Brodie again,” Chas said, his tone slightly higher than usual.
“Fine, have it your way, but don’t ever ask me to sort your shit out with your gaybo boyfriend again.”
“Gaybo, hetro Kodi. Really you are so childish sometimes.”
“Go fuck yourself Chas.”
Kodi had gotten up and walked out of the café leaving Chas sitting there alone and she was mad at Chas, but she never said. She had phoned Chas that night and apologised, and he’d forgiven her for being a ‘gay basher’ but he’d laughed as he’d said it, and their friendship had continued on from there. But Kodi never really understood what Chas had done to Brodie; she thought it was cold and cruel. Xaan was lovely, but Chas had a responsibility to Brodie. Brodie had not long got the news he was really sick. The truth of the matter was he’d informed Chas that he wanted to go home to LA to die and he’d asked Chas to go with him. Chas had realized he was flogging the proverbial dead horse by staying with Brodie, so he’d moved on to Xaan. Chas opted to send Brodie home to die alone and broken hearted.
The truth of the matter too was that Chas couldn’t cope with sickness and death, he had no desire to cope with it, so wherever he could, he ignored it. Even when Xaan had tried the first time to share the story of his father it had been difficult. The crook cop being held responsible for the suicide of a man years ago on the steps of the courthouse, Chas had made him stop, because death was something Chas wanted nothing to do with. Ignorance was bliss according to Chas, but death cannot be avoided forever, and, unbeknown to Kodi, Chas had eventually found that out.
“Chas is really just a prat!” Kodi said out loud, “and the day of the funeral proved that. Fancy calling Edgar Allan Poe a drunken fool, a horrid poet, and a dreadful storyteller, like Chas was so great, the little faggot! Or maybe that wasn’t Chas? I don’t rightly recall. Well Faith had a bit to do with it too, but even she can’t talk, talentless is a more apt description for her the little shite.”
Kodi sat out on the swing for a bit longer just watching the birds making their way home to the trees for the night.
“I shouldn’t speak about Chas like that Harry, he’s only human and he can’t help it. Faith is a little harder to excuse so lightly though I must admit.”
Harry mooched at her feet as they watched the sun slide slowly down behind the hill.
“I e-mailed Voh Harry, yeah I know, you don’t have to say anything because I already know what a stupid move that was. Now I’m going to put myself through a week or two of pointless hope and desperate disappointment every time I check the e-mail and see the ‘no new messages’ sign pop up. Voh will be sitting there in Colorado doing what it is he’s doing and wishing Kodi would just go away and leave him alone already. But why won’t he speak to me Harry, WHY?”
Kodi sat there and wept again at the loss of her dearest friend, the author, the talented man, the man she’d admired, the man (who without knowing it) had taken a tiny piece of her heart. A piece that she could never reclaim, nor had she wanted to, it was his to keep forever, she’d known that as soon as it had occurred.
“But why Harry, I just don’t understand it at all, I don’t know what I did so wrong that Voh dumped me?”
Harry was tiring of hearing the ‘Voh’ word and he had no idea what that word stood for, all he knew was whenever she made the ‘Voh’ word, tears were never far away. He decided to sneak over to the neighbour’s house to scout around for mice, she could shed her ‘Voh tears’ all by herself!
The afternoon crept past very slowly and her thoughts drifted from Voh to Heathcliff, backwards and forwards from one to the other until she finally fell asleep on the porch swing.
He had a hold of her hair, she couldn’t see him, but she could hear him screaming obscenities at her as she tired to get him to release his grip on her hair. Finally she turned her head and sunk her teeth deep into his arm and she felt her teeth cutting through his flesh. And she could taste the blood in her mouth.
Kodi heard him scream, and then she heard another voice saying his name, “Come on P….” the name faded into an echo that made no sense to Kodi, and the voice, who was that? “Why can’t I see anything?”
Then she realized she was in a dark room, yet it was light at the same time, and he was trying to force her down onto the bed, but he wasn’t trying to rape her, it was nothing sexual in nature at all, it was worse than that, much worse. Then he punched her in the face making the room start to swim, then she heard the ripping of cloth, it was her dress, “But I never wear dresses.”
Then it started, someone was holding her arms down and there was a terrible burning sensation in the middle of her chest, like fire, but worse than fire. “Oh God I think I’m dying,” and she started to scream and cry out, but no one would help and the pain continued to build up ferociously.
She had the same dream again around three days later, and it had the same powerful scary effect on her. Heathcliff had been coming and going all the time and she had been sneaking over to his place using his pool even after having been caught doing so the first time. Getting her foot wet necessitated her having to replace the bandages all the time, but it sure beat sweltering all night every night.
She sat up in the swing so suddenly she almost toppled out, and she looked out into the driveway to see Mrs. Willis and her husband making their way over toward the porch. Her breathing was laboured and her face tear streaked and the last thing she felt like doing was entertaining guests.
“Hello love,” called Mrs. Willis who seemed heavily weighed down by the burden of the basket she was carrying.
“Mighty fine evening we’re having don’t you think young Miss?” said her husband.
Kodi smiled and then put her head down in her hands, and Mrs. Willis handed the basket to her husband, came up the steps and sat down on the swing beside her.
“There there love, don’t be fretting now, ‘tis all going to be fine, just you have your wee cry and wash it all out.”
Mr. Willis stood there his gaze fixed on Kodi, and he seemed to have a look of shock on his face. As he stood there it occurred to Kodi that something about him looked familiar, yet she couldn’t put her finger on it.
But then he turned and stood there staring out toward the tree line. Mrs. Willis, noticing that Kodi was confused by his intense gaze at her and then to the tree line said, “Joe go inside and put the kettle on, there’s a love.”
“Aye blossom, “ said Joe as he made his way inside to ‘be helpful’.
“Listen, I heard you ran into Heathcliff from over yonder.”
“I snuck into his place and he…” she started to cry again.
“…He caught you, yes we know. Not much happens out here Kodi that we don’t hear about.” Mrs. Willis had a little chuckle to herself at the mere thought of her son catching this lovely young girl on his property let alone in his pool…naked to boot no less.
“So I suppose you know about me getting lost in the storm too? And Ed having to come and rescue me?”
“Ah yes Kodi, we heard about that too, but that has happened to a lot of us over the years here. The storms they come up so quickly you know? So anyway, what did you think of your neighbour?”
“He’s horrid,” sobbed Kodi.
“Who, him over yonder?”
“Heathcliff, he’s horrid.”
“Oh there there love, he’s not a horrid lad, he’s just been through a lot and isn’t very trusting, but he’s pliable.”
“He told me never to go back there Mrs. Willis, he doesn’t ever want to see me again.”
“Well you know Kodi he’s lived there a very long time alone and he likes it that way, but that doesn’t mean he’s not open to change…just might take some time is all.”
“I don’t want to change him, I just wanted him to be my friend. Oh Mrs. Willis I don’t even have any friends anymore, and I feel like a two-year old whining about it.”
“Who are you sobbing over Kodi, is it Heathcliff or is it that author friend of yours?”
Kodi was struck with a sense that something was very wrong with Mrs. Willis, “I never told you about my writer friend.”
“Of course you did dear, the first day I met you, remember?”
“I don’t think I did.”
“Trust me dear you did, how else could I know?”
Maybe she HAD told Mrs. Willis about Voh, but if she hadn’t then how the hell did she know?
Joe came outside with cups of tea, “Here you go Ems,” he said as he passed a cup to Mrs. Willis, “and young Missy, one for you too.”
Kodi reached out to take the cup and as she did she felt a headache coming on, “Oh I think I’m coming down with a migraine, my head is starting to pound.”
“So you think so shall you be,” said Joe.
Kodi sipped her tea and listened to the birds settling into the trees, “They’re so beautiful, like a symphony, like nature’s music, you know?”
Joe said, “Oh yes, you’re a writer young missy…Ems here has the writer spirit in…” Mrs. Willis hit his leg rather harshly with her hand.
“You were a writer Mrs. Willis?” Kodi was surprised.
“Oh she was a fam…” Another harsh slap was delivered to the leg of Joe.
“I wrote a story, and some crusty old poems…nothing more substantial than that,” she said as she stared intently at Joe.
“Are you being modest Mrs. Willis?” Kodi asked her, smiling sheepishly through her tears, “Joe, are you trying to give her secrets away?”
Joe smiled back at Kodi and said, “Why I O….” but he was stopped by a rather vicious blow to the leg from the end of Mrs. Willis’ shoe.
“No love, really whatever I did write, it might have been perceived to be great, but there is so much more to life than greatness Kodi, so much more.”
Something about the way Joe had began to speak had almost seemed familiar…and so she turned to Joe and said, “What were you going to say before Mrs. Willis kicked you so elegantly?”
Joe tried to remain confident, but Kodi could tell he was rattled, “I was just going to say why I opened her book and was stunned by her talent the very first time I read anything of hers. But Ems is very shy about recognition, aren’t you Ems?”
Kodi looked intently at Joe and it appeared there was nothing to it and so she looked back to Ems, “So tell me Mrs. Willis, what did you write about?”
“Just the things of dreams Kodi, dreams and nothing more.”
“Wow, I could fill a book with dreams too just this minute, phew!”
“Dreams, yes they’re funny things, sometimes they seem so real, yet upon reflection one realizes how fanciful they are, isn’t that right Kodi?”
Kodi looked at Mrs. Willis, “No, I don’t have fanciful dreams Mrs. Willis, I have nightmares, nightmares that are so real that sometimes I don’t know if I’m in fact dreaming at all, and it scares me.”
“Oh come on love, everything’s going to be fine, and listen I brought you over some of those roses of mine you were admiring the day you picked up the keys. And I meant to say at the picnic that I’m awfully sorry Bruce scratched you the way he did, he’s a little…funny.”
“How did you know…?”
“About the roses? Oh well I saw you admiring them as you walked up the driveway dear.”
“No, how did you know about Bruce?”
“Oh, I watched you leave and they were four mighty fine stripes he put down your leg if I must say so myself. I see the rash from the Sandanizta cleared up nicely? said Ems trying to change the subject.”
“Well how long does the rash usually last?” asked Kodi.
“Oh weeks, months if you don’t know the cure.”
“Faded quicker than Bruce’s scratches did I can tell you,” said Kodi smiling at Mrs. Willis.
“Cats!” said Joe.
“Tell me about them, Harry’s eaten two of Heathcliff’s birds.”
“Two?” asked Joe.
“Yeah a green one named Frank and a yellow one named…well…actually I don’t think Heathcliff had named that one…that I know of.”
“Heathcliff has a love for small creatures,” said Mrs. Willis, “he really is a very compassionate sweet man…he gets it from his mother.”
“You know Heathcliff’s mother?” that peaked Kodi’s interest because she had never really thought about Heathcliff as being someone who even had a mother.
“Oh yes dear, I know Heathcliff’s mother well.” Mrs. Willis smiled and patted Kodi on the leg, “Well dear we had better be off, we have a dinner party to go to tonight, which I must say, I’m rather looking forward to.”
“Yes indeedy, time to go home and done the glad rags, don’t get up Miss Kodi,” said Joe smiling mischievously.
With that the couple got up and made their way to their car.
“What about your basket Mrs. Willis?”
“It’s in the car dear, not to worry.”
“It’s still inside Mrs. Willis.”
“No dear Joe brought it out to the car while we were chatting, see,” she said as she reached into the backseat of the old car and held the basket up by its handle.
“Oh…oh…” said Kodi weakly, she hadn’t seen Joe even go back over to the car, maybe he had? She was pretty sure he hadn’t though.
“Bye bye dear,” yelled Mrs. Willis out from the open car window as her and Joe made their way out of her driveway.
“Bye.” Kodi gave a little wave and sat back down on the swing, and as she did so she noticed her headache had melted away.

The next when day Kodi had awoken she knew right from the second she opened her eyes that it was going to be one of those days. Everything would feel like plastic. Everything she looked at would feel unfamiliar. The way the light catches the window or the door would take her back in time, back to scary places in time. Panic attacks would abound, one after the other, cluster panic attacks and there’d be nothing she could do about it. Her foot was aching too and she half wondered whether she had gotten an infection in it? “Maybe I should just stay off it for the day Harry?”
She went and sat on the porch swing in her pyjamas. “Perhaps Harry it is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I have as opposed to panic and anxiety? I sometimes wonder because sometimes an image or even a certain smell can take me back to a place and a time I never ever wanted to relive again, and yet I end up reliving it whether I want to or not.
I can’t read because I won’t be able to concentrate. I can’t watch TV because my eyes wont focus properly, I can’t eat because I have butterflies and I can’t go for a walk because I’m too scared I’ll pass out somewhere and not be able to get home again. I hate this torment Harry, sometimes I hate it so much I have considered killing myself because it’s a living hell.”
Kodi sat there and cried, knowing that crying would only help her to feel okay for a few minutes, and then would return the awful feelings of alienation, strangeness and separation from life. The strange thoughts in a tired mind, the relentless unmerciful memories, the anger, the frustration, the sadness, the tears and it would go around and around like this for the entire day.
“I can’t do this anymore Harry, I can’t do it.” Kodi got up and began to walk down the driveway, unsure of where she was going, only that she had to get away, she had to find a way to make the craziness stop. Harry trotted behind her listening to the crying and sniffing of his human friend.
Kodi wandered up the road in the opposite direction she had gone in to get to the paddock of flowers on the day she had gotten lost in the storm. About two hundred meters up the road and across an old concrete bridge covered in moss she found what she was looking for.
There it stood; an old tree and it was as high as the heavens it seemed to Kodi, and she made her way to the base of it through the long grass. Once she got to the base she scoured around it trying to find a way to get up into it.
“What are you doing Kodi?” asked Troy who had followed her from just outside her house, but she could not see nor hear him.
“There’s got to be a way to climb this stupid old tree,” said Kodi in absolute frustration, the tears coursing down her cheeks.
“Why do you need to climb the tree Kodi? Kodi can you see me? Can you hear me?” asked Troy as he stood beside her and gently touched her arm with his hand.
Finally Kodi saw what she was looking for, a nub sticking out of the huge trunk of the tree, just enough of a nub for her to get a footing and be able to grab a low hanging branch to make her way up into the tree.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” asked Troy very loudly, hoping to get her attention. When Kodi made no reply he decided to follow her up the tree.
Kodi climbed and climbed until she was almost twenty feet high and then stopped to look down, and as she did she saw Harry playing around in the grass on the ground. As Troy followed her he thought it was well that she had a cat for a friend, because she scampered up the tree with as much ease as a cat. Troy, on the other hand, had to concentrate on not being struck by branches as they whipped back at him courtesy of Kodi who was still oblivious to his presence, “Should be Heathcliff enduring this punishment, not me,” he said sarcastically.
“This isn’t high enough, I have to get higher.”
“Kodi, why do you have to get higher?” asked Troy, he asked as he stopped to catch his breath. Kodi made no reply and as she went to place her foot on a branch, the branch gave way snapping and Kodi began to fall from the tree.
“KODI!” yelled Troy as he reached out his arm to grab her but missed, and as he gazed down watching Kodi hit the ground with a thud, he saw Saul standing at the bottom of the tree. Saul leaned over Kodi as Troy yelled out, “Is she okay? Saul is she hurt?”
Saul crouched down beside Kodi and pushed her hair from over her eyes, “She is okay, Troy. She’s got scratches and bruises, but nothing’s broken.”
Troy made his way carefully down to the base of the tree jumped from the low hanging branch down onto the ground, “What was she doing climbing the tree in the first place?”
“Why do you think she climbed it Troy?” asked Saul as he gazed up.
“I don’t know, if I knew that I wouldn’t be…oh tell me she wasn’t trying to…?” said Troy as he shook his head.
“Yes, she was trying to climb high enough that the fall would kill her, except…
Troy interrupted Saul, “She can’t, she can’t kill herself here, it’s not an option she can exercise, which is just as well for us all. She’s feeling that bad Saul?”
“Yes she is feeling that bad, I think we need to keep a closer eye on her.”
“Saul does she really want to die?” asked Troy not really believing she did.
“I don’t think she wants to die as much as she wants all the weirdness to stop happening around her. See Troy, she thinks she is alive and well and normal and because that is not quite the case, she can find no rational way to explain away the strangeness of the place she is in and the things that occur inside it except to think she is going crazy. She doesn’t want to end her life so much as she is desperately trying to find a way to make all the strangeness go away.”
“Will she remember this?”
“Who knows, I guess we probably should make her remember it, but for now let’s just get her back to the house and put her on the swing.”
Kodi awoke with a jolt, “Oh wow, I must have fallen asleep,” she said as she rubbed her eyes. Then she looked at her arms all covered in scratches and her cut foot was aching. She looked down to stare at her foot only to notice that she had some deep scratches and bruising to her legs. “I feel like I’ve been run down by a truck,” she said to Harry who was sitting on the swing purring.
Then she remembered her dream, “I dreamed I climbed a tree Harry and I was going to get to the very tips of it and jump, but I know I didn’t actually do that, so how did I get all these cuts and bruises?” Kodi began to cry again, “Maybe I am imagining them like the blood I saw on myself the other night at Heathcliff’s when I was sick? He told me to close my eyes and to think of a safe place, and when I opened my eyes the blood was gone, maybe I should try that now?” she asked, deeply panicked.
Kodi closed her eyes and said to herself, “You are only imagining it, there are no marks on you, you are perfectly okay, it was just a stupid dream.” She counted to twenty and then opened her eyes, except that when she opened them, the scratches and bruises were still there. Kodi’s heart began to beat rapidly and she became very light headed, “Crazy thought in a tired mind, crazy thought in a tired mind,” she said to herself over and over. But she knew that this time things were not going to right themselves, she would simply have to face it head on and ride out the storm.
“No it won’t necessarily be better, but it won’t be exactly the same. I hate the way my brain can set off so many different chemical reactions in my body at the smallest fright Harry. My heart starts to beat faster, adrenaline floods my entire body making my brain buzz, my chest hurt and I feel like I want to run or fight, or scream or do something. I hate that I have ended up like this, it’s horrible.”
Harry mooched her feet because he sensed she was distressed. “I feel so lost inside life Harry, just so lost, like people can see me but yet again I am invisible, do you know what I mean? You see what really makes me mad is that people have created bad memories for me that for some reason I relive constantly, over and over and they are the very memories they probably can’t even remember. So why does my brain insist on holding onto them and reliving them yet leaves everyone else in peace? It just doesn’t seem fair Harry, no matter which way I look at it, and I don’t sit around trying to remember this stuff, it just jumps out at me from nowhere. And I sound like a baby sitting here going on about it not being fair, but I don’t know what else to do.”
Kodi sat there thinking about how cloudy and clogged up her head felt and she had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that she just couldn’t rid herself of and all she could so was sit there with the tears streaming down her face. As Troy stood there silently watching over her from a safe distance behind the fence to the paddock with Saul he said, “Do you think if people could see what their actions lead to that they’d stop?”
“To be completely truthful with you Troy, I doubt it. I don’t know why empathy is so lacking in the world, yet it is and it seems with every generation there is less and less of it. You know that we’ve had occasion to speak to people giving them ample time to stop to maybe even attempt to right the wrong, and what do we usually get for our trouble?”
“I remember Manson,” said Troy.
“Ah yes, and he’s a fine example of someone wanting to make the world a better place in his own unique way. His heart was in the right place but then it all went stunningly wrong and became like a madness.”
“Will they ever let him out?”
“I doubt it, he did worse than Brenda Spencer and she’ll never get out, consequences Troy, people seldom listen.”
“Yeah, like Ed has said on many occasions, we’d have better luck selling Popsicle’s to Eskimos,” they both said together.
“What are you two up to?” asked Heathcliff as he walked up behind his younger brother and Saul with Alexi in his arms. He had seen them climb the fence out of Kodi’s place and had stood behind his fence just watching them standing there staring in the direction of her porch.
“She’s having a bad day, hello little one,” said Saul as he ran his hand over the baby’s head and gave Troy a look that told him not to tell Heathcliff about the tree, at least not yet.
“Yeah she’s not looking like she’s having a good time,” said Heathcliff looking over in the direction of the house and moving Alexi closer to Saul.
“Why don’t you let me take Alexi and you invite her over for coffee, maybe even dinner?” said Troy, reaching out for his niece.
“Why would I do that?” asked Heathcliff moving slightly away from Troy to indicate that he wasn’t giving Alexi to him.
“I don’t know, to make up for being so rude when you sent her packing last time?” suggested Saul.
“So this is an order?” asked Heathcliff as he stared at Saul.
“No one gets given orders, you know that better than anyone. Freewill, remember Heathcliff?” said Saul.
“Okay,” said Heathcliff as he handed Alexi to his younger brother, “I shall exercise my ‘freewill’ to go over there and try to get her to come over to my place, but you two get out of here, I don’t want an audience.”
“Good luck big brother,” said Troy as he held Alexi’s hand and waved it at her father, “bye bye daddy,” he said in a stupid little voice.
Heathcliff burst out laughing and said to Saul, “Take that idiot brother of mine away somewhere and have him committed.”
Saul and Troy headed back across the paddock toward Heathcliff’s place, “He’s going to see the marks Saul,” said Troy as he jumped the fence into Heathcliff’s back yard.
“I know that, Troy. I am hoping that he will ask her and that she will tell him what happened, or at least what she thinks she dreamed. He will know she did not dream it because she has the marks on her arms and legs.”
“Do you think she will tell him what she was planning to do?”
“Maybe Heathcliff will get to the bottom of it with careful questioning,” said Saul.

Heathcliff jumped the fence deliberately making a noise so she’d hear him, then he walked slowly over the driveway and onto the path hoping to give her enough time to wipe her eyes. “She won’t want me to know that she has been crying, not me of all people anyway. What am I going to say to her? I never really know what to say to her, well not now that she’s older. When she was small she was easy to console, even as a teen she wasn't that bad, but I don’t really know her anymore. I guess I better be nice to her cat too, man that’s going to be a challenge because I don’t like that cat.”
“Oh my gosh Harry,” she said listlessly, “someone’s here.”
But she didn’t bother to wipe her eyes or to cover herself with a blanket to hide the fact she was still in her pyjamas and hurt, she simply couldn’t be bothered.
As Heathcliff came into view when he approached the porch she thought to herself, “I don’t even care that it’s him. He doesn’t like me anyway so I can look as trashy and messy as I want. I don’t have to put on an act for him, nothing I could do would impress him of all people anyway. I’m not even going to wipe my eyes or to stop crying, I just don’t care.”
“Hello Kodi,” he said tentatively as he sat down on the wooden bench and stared at her. That was when he noticed the scratches and bruises on her arms and legs. “What happened to you Kodi?’ he asked, the shock evident by his tone of voice. “She looks terrible and she hasn’t even attempted to hide the fact that she’s been crying. She’s still in her pyjamas, I bet she’d usually die before she let someone like me see her like this?”
Kodi ignored Heathcliff’s question, but as she sat there lost in her own thoughts she clearly remembered walking down the road, across the bridge and into the paddock to get to the old tree, “I climbed a tree and I fell out,” she said flatly.
“In your pyjamas? You climbed a tree in your pyjamas? What tree, where?” he asked curious as to what was really going on.
“Up the road over the bridge, I climbed it and I fell out that’s how I got all the bruises and scratches.”
“Kodi why would you walk all the way up the road in your pyjamas to climb a tree, what is wrong with the trees here?”
“I don’t want to talk about it Heathcliff, please just leave me alone.”
“Kodi, I don’t think you are telling me the whole story,” he said as a sick feeling began to creep over him, “Were the trees here not good enough because they were not high enough? Was she trying to fall?”
Kodi just waved in his direction without looking at him to indicate that she would be saying no more to him about anything. She instead wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees and stared out at nothing in particular. He could hear her sniffing and sobbing and she didn’t even seem to care. “How many times have I watched you cry like this over the years? Too many I think.”
“I can’t even remember what it feels like to feel normal, I can’t remember what it feels like to not be scared, and I’m so tired. I can’t remember what it feels like to be excited about something or to look forward to anything. All I have is moments, moments of terror, moments of thinking I’m going to die. That’s all I have, that is my life. I know this makes me sound crazy, but I don’t care if I sound crazy, or if you think I’m crazy, I just don’t care.”
Heathcliff heard every word she said, but he did not know what to say to her, he had no words, no words at all. He could hear her pain, he could see her tears and he could sense her distress, but still, he couldn’t find one single word to say to her, so instead he simply went and sat beside her.
“I just always wanted to end it all, you know? I just wanted it to be over, for it to be finished. Either give me a clear head to live with or finish it because this limbo is just too hard to cope with when it hits. But then I can’t finish it myself because I know it’s wrong, and that’s what makes this so hard, it’s not even like I have a choice, I’m just stuck.”
“Well Kodi, you were always very strong, always digging your toes in and never giving up. But there were times where you should have just told someone how you were feeling because it may have helped. I suppose at least you are talking to someone now, even if you don’t particularly like him.”
Kodi cried even more and Heathcliff still sat there listening to her not saying a word, but he did slip an arm around her shoulders, and then he pulled her to him and held her. Kodi just sobbed but never really said anything more to him, but she did notice his smell again, musky come Old Spice and she thought to herself, “I have smelt this before, not just that night under the trees but somewhere else.”
“You’re going to be just fine Kodi, everything is going to be just fine eventually,” he said inside his head. About an hour passed before Heathcliff finally spoke to Kodi, “Have you eaten today Kodi?”
Kodi shook her head to indicate she had not.
“Well how about I take you home to my house and make us some dinner?” Heathcliff suggested.
Kodi shook her head to indicate that she did not wish to go to his house.
“Well okay,” said Heathcliff a little disappointed that she was rejecting the olive branch he had extended, but he could hardly blame her, “I will go inside and cook you something here and then once you have eaten I’ll go back to my side of the paddock and leave you be.”
“Considering you told me not that long ago that you wanted me to stay away from you, I find it surprising that you are here. I mean really Heathcliff? What’s up with that? So typical of men, they’re never consistent, telling you one thing and then going right ahead and doing the complete opposite. And men say women are hard to understand! Well Heathcliff, I don’t want to try and understand you, I give up, I admit defeat. There, are you happy now?” she silently asked him.
Kodi didn’t give any indication as to how she felt about that, so Heathcliff went inside and did it anyway. As he worked away in the kitchen he looked out on Kodi every now and then and all she did was continue to stare out at nothing while the tears rolled freely down her cheeks.
“Despair, see what you did you wicked wicked child?” he said to himself.
Once he had made Kodi some food he took it out to her and encouraged her to eat a little of it. “Come on Kodi, you have to eat because the hungrier you get, the weaker you become and the less able you are to deal with things.”
Kodi just turned her head away from him and the fork laden with food, “I don’t want it,” she said softly.
“Well I know you don’t want it Kodi, but it doesn’t change the fact that your body needs it. You are desperately underweight Kodi, you really need to be eating way more than you do.”
“I’m not your problem Heathcliff. My weight and what I should be eating is my problem and my problem alone.”
“What did you say, I didn’t catch what you said Kodi?” said Heathcliff as he reached across her to put the fork near her mouth again.
Kodi pushed it away with her hand.
“You’re not going to let me help you are you?”
Kodi shook her head, but Heathcliff persisted for another five minutes or so.
“Oh wow she’s way more stubborn than Annie was, in fact she makes Annie look like a saint, but was she? Was Annie a saint or was I just seeing what I wanted to see? Sometimes she could be very cold, very calculated and she would manipulate me, but I didn’t recognise it until that night at Troy’s house. What happened to start that off? I don’t even remember what it was except that she was screaming at me in front of Troy that if I truly loved her than I would take her there. Right then right there she wanted to be able to go and get that cat from Martha’s place. I remember how shocked Troy was at her outburst and when I firmly told her no and admonished her for making a scene like that, she refused to eat. As you do now Kodi, but for absolutely no reason other than to manipulate me, she refused to eat.” “Come on little one, you need to eat,’” he said softly, gently, but Kodi did not hear a word he was speaking. Kodi was miles away thinking back to an incident that seemed a lifetime away from where she was at that moment.
“Martha, that was her name, that’s right the old woman Marli talked about that night. She fixed my head.”
Heathcliff sat there staring out at the trees thinking about Annie for a moment and when he looked back at Kodi she was running her finger over and over the scar that began at her forehead and ran until it disappeared into her dark hair.
“She fixed my head after I fell, but I didn’t fall, he tripped me up, that dark haired man who smelled like, like…what did he smell like? I don’t remember, but she could see him too, I know she could. I know she said she couldn’t but I heard someone tell her to say she couldn’t see or hear…what was the name he said? I know that name. Stupid brain, what was his name?”
“Kodi, Kodi, sweetheart you have to eat,” she heard him saying to her. She turned her head slightly and looked into his eyes and then she gently pushed the fork away from her mouth, then she turned away from him again.
Heathcliff sat there for a little longer and his thoughts drifted back to Annie. “We were happy for a while, unbelievably happy and I got to the point where I assumed your transition was a mere formality. Making love to you each night, holding you as you slept, feeling contentment at being spent inside you. I loved watching you drift off to sleep and I loved watching you awake the next morning, it was perfect. But there were strange things going on too, strange things I never paid too much attention to. Your dreams Annie, I tried to show you things to do with us in your dreams but you could never see them. I never told anyone about it, but you should have been able to see them Annie, so why couldn’t you? Why did you never fall pregnant to me? So many times we were together over that year and not once did you fall with child, why not? You even had my mother questioning me, ensuring we were not avoiding pregnancy, my father reminding me it is not a desirable thing to let your seed fall on barren ground. He gave me the speech about the sacred nature of new life, how welcomed new life is here, how much they were looking forward to more grandchildren, and yet we gave them none. It confused me then Annie. Then there were the fights, ugly, ugly fights. You could not grasp the concept of a woman submitting to the authority of a man, and I tried so hard, I tried just giving you a gentle stare when you were encroaching on shaky ground, and what did you do? Started yelling at me, and when I tried to speak calmly to you, you yelled even more. I tried to gently touch your arm when you were in mid flight once and what did you do? You slapped me hard across the face, in front of Saul, Zachary, Kaleb, Troy, mother, father and even Ed. Who was it who took you outside? Saul, and oh my I have never heard Saul yell so loudly in all my life, how dare you raise your hand to me, and on he went, he was so angry. Then father got started on me that I needed to get you under control, that if I couldn’t get you to respect me, then what would become of our children watching their mother disrespecting their father? But then there were the good times, and Annie they were good times. I loved you, I really loved you and it broke my heart to lose you the way I did. No, Kodi is nothing like you, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all? Oh Annie I’m sorry, how could I think such a thing?”
Heathcliff stopped thinking about Annie and focussed his attention on Kodi, but he finally accepted he was fighting a losing battle on that front, and in the end he decided to leave, “Kodi I’m going to go home now, but if you need me I’m just across the paddock, okay? And I don’t mind if you decide you need me and you come over, I’m totally okay with it,” he said, but she made no response to him at all because she didn’t know what to say and she was too tired to try to find words.

When Heathcliff got back over to his house he said to Troy, “I think maybe you should just go and keep an eye on her, she’s not doing very well at all.”
“Why don’t you just go back there?” asked Troy.
“She doesn’t want me there, I am making the situation worse not better. Besides, she can’t see you, so maybe it’s better that way for now, for her to think she’s alone but for her not to be left alone.”
“Heathcliff is right,” said Saul who was cradling Alexi in his arms, “I think you should stay there with her Troy just for a while just to see how she goes.”
“I don’t suppose you thought to grab her car keys so that she…”
Heathcliff held Kodi’s keys up in the air and jingled them, “She’s not going anywhere Troy,” he said as he walked over to the bench and hung them on the key rack above the radio.
“Good,” said Troy, “because that’s the last thing we need.”
“Saul can put them back when he goes back over later,” said Heathcliff, “unless she goes looking for them she won’t even know they’re gone. And if she does go looking, then that just confirms my initiative to take them in the first place was correct.”
“Okay,” said Troy.
“She’s not in very good physical condition at all, I mean she’s terribly thin and her face is pale. I do not understand for the life of me how her body managed to sustain a baby in that condition,” said Heathcliff.
“You only have to look at parts of Africa to understand that,” said Saul.
“Well I guess you have a point there, but I still don’t understand it,” he said.
“The human body is a complexly resilient thing, and lucky for mankind that it is or else they would have died out centuries ago. Only the strong have survived the treacherous nature of the world’s diseases etc, and Kodi definitely descends from strong genes,” said Saul.
Troy left Heathcliff’s house leaving Saul and his older brother to finish their conversation. As he headed over the paddock toward Kodi’s house, he wondered whether she would see him at all that day. He walked up the steps to the porch staring at Kodi to see if she could see him, but it appeared she could not. Troy sat down on the wooden bench while Kodi remained on the swing seat trying to eat the food Heathcliff had made. Harry sat on the swing beside her, eating whatever pieces of food Kodi dropped for him to eat. In the end she just put the whole plate beside him and let him eat whatever he wanted, “Heathcliff will never know,” she said. “You know what Harry?” She gave the cat time to digest the fact that she was addressing him. “I think Heathcliff really dislikes me, not that it matters I suppose. I feel as though I have been born into a world where I don’t belong, wrong century or born as the wrong person, is that even possible? It’s a bit like love, you know? You try to find it and it is so elusive that I have begun to wonder if it even exists at all. If it did I’d still have my work cut out for me because Harry I have never been able to get it right. Instead I seem to mess it up every time, maybe I want it too much or maybe not enough Harry? Sometimes I think it’s just not ever meant to be, you know?
Like my sister, she tried everything to get love, and even though she said that that’s not what she wanted, I know it’s exactly what she wanted, and it got her killed. I’m sure that’s what got her killed Harry. All my life I wanted her in my life, then once I got her I discovered I was probably better off without her. I hated her Harry. A part of me really hated her, and another part of me was afraid of her too, and I really wish it hadn’t been that way, at least I never thought it would be that way. But she was so hateful, so spiteful, so vindictive, so jealous and so unforgiving that I just couldn’t stand her anymore Harry and I just wanted her to go away.”
Troy sat there patiently listening to her and then Kodi stared straight at him, “You…you were…I’ve seen you…Kodi, humour it remember? Hi.”
Troy stared at Kodi, “You’re speaking to me?”
“Yeah,” said Kodi absolutely astonished that her imaginary friend was talking back.
“I know you’re not real. I know that I am imagining you, I have imagined you all my life, every time things get really bad, I turn around and there you are. But you look slightly different, your hair is longer and your face looks slightly different. You don’t smell right either, you’re not musky or Old Spicy, but it’s still you isn’t it?”
“You’ve been aware of Heathcliff all of your life? How could that be possible? It’s definitely Heathcliff, musky old spice; yeah that’s him. Of course, that’s why you think you’re imagining me because you thought you were imagining him too. You’ve stopped trusting your instincts, that part of you that tells you clearly what is for real and what is not. It all makes sense now,” thought Troy. “I saw you climb the tree today, I know what you were going to do,” he said very sternly as he gazed intently at her.
“I wasn’t going to do anything,” she lied, avoiding his stare.
Troy shook his head and then said, “You can lie to yourself, but don’t lie to me, I know what you were intending to do and let me tell you something else too, it is not your life to take.”
“Life? LIFE? What life do I have?” she asked angrily.
“Whatever kind of life you think you have is not the point, you have a purpose, there is a reason that you are here. Your life is as integral to someone else’s happiness and wholeness as their life is to yours. Your life is not your own, you cannot end it if the fancy takes you to do so, you need to understand this.”
“Well I didn’t end it did I?” she snapped at him.
“No, you fell before you could, but God knows your intent and that intent is what matters most, the intent you had in your heart and mind is what this conversation is about. You must NEVER do that again, do you understand what I am saying to you? To purposefully end your life, the gift of life given to you by God and God alone has far reaching consequences, more far reaching than you can even begin to understand. And if I even suspect that you might try this again, then I will put you somewhere where you will not be allowed to be alone.”
Kodi looked at him and merely nodded her head as if his threat was somewhat empty.
“I am serious, are you listening to me?”
Kodi looked at Troy and said, “Yes I am listening to you and despite what you might think, I won’t do it again, I don’t know if I would have gone through with it anyway. And as for you putting me some place that I will not be alone, you could put me in a crowd of a thousand people and I would still be alone, so your threat is of no concern to me, imaginary friend.”
“A crowd of a thousand people is not what I had in mind, and trust me when I tell you that you would not enjoy what I actually do,” said Troy.
“Well you needn’t bother worrying your imaginary mind over me, because I have no intentions of doing anything and, by the way, I don’t appreciate the threats. Imaginary friends are supposed to be nice, not rogues,” she said sarcastically, and then she kicked her foot at the plate off which Harry had been eating.
Troy said, “Oh yeah you get mad, but don’t you dare try to even the score, understand?”
“I told you, I’m not going to do anything,” she said weakly as she began to cry again.
“Sweetheart, just remember what I have said to you, take it to your heart, hang onto it even when things feel like they are about as bad as they can get,” said Troy very gently, realising that his serious message had been taken to heart by the girl.
Kodi looked down at the concrete for a few moments and then looked back up and it was no surprise to her that he was gone, “Typical.”
Harry leapt up off the swing and walked over to the wooden bench and appeared to be smooching at something, but there was nothing there.
“Can you still see me?” asked Troy, as he watched her staring at Harry intently.
“Who are you smooching Harry? Are you imagining him too? At least I’m not the only person with psychosis who imagines good looking men, but you’re a boy Harry and that’s just plain sad!” Kodi stifled a little giggle, “I’m not allowed to giggle Harry, I am sad, remember? You mustn’t make me giggle when I’m being sad.”
Troy smiled as he realised Kodi was trying to make light of something that was truly mystifying, maybe even terrifying, “She can’t see me anymore Harry, probably best if you stop smooching me or she’s going to think you’re crazy,” said Troy.
“You’re crazier than me Harry,” she said as she watched the cat pouring affection on someone who wasn’t even there.
Kodi lay down on the swing seat and gently drifted off to sleep. Troy got up, walked over to her, pulled the blanket over top of her and placed Harry at her feet, “You stay with her,” and he sat there just watching over her.
He thought about Ruby, “It won’t be long now my love and you will be here with me. And what is to become of you Kodi Madison, what is to become of my brother? Will it work out this time or will it end all in tears again? I hope for his sake and yours that it does not. You have to try Kodi, you have to try really hard to just hang on and everything you have lost will be restored to you, you just have to hang in there. You know, dig your toes in, be the incredibly stubborn girl I know you can be.”
Once evening truly set in Saul came over to check on Troy, “How is she?”
“Sleeping,” said Troy.
“How about you go over to your brother’s place, he has made dinner for you and I will keep watch on her for now?’
“Don’t you need your rest Saul?”
“Yeah, but not as much as you do after Tay keeping you up half the night. Anyway Martha said she’d stop by around eight or so and take over for me.”
“I’m surprised she wants to go anywhere now that he’s here,” said Troy smiling.
“Well she knows they have plenty of time for everything they ever wanted to do now,” said Saul.
“How often does that happen Saul? You know, I mean Martha is not your usual, she’s one of them yet she’s a helper. Now her husband from there has crossed and now they’re together forever, I mean what’s the odds on something like that?” Troy ran his hand through his hair and got his finger stuck in a knot.
“Not terribly good Troy and I think that’s why marriage is so tough to make work over there. Everyone thinks they’ve found their soul mate, but seldom do they ever really find their soul mate, consequently it doesn’t work out a lot of the time. You know, you really ought to cut your hair son, it’s getting very long.”
“No, I like it long Saul, short hair makes my neck cold.”
“I think your brother is following suit, his hair is getting pretty long too, almost half way down his back and it doesn’t look like he’s intending to cut it any time soon. I’m almost starting to feel like the odd man out; perhaps I should grow mine too? Perhaps I’ll send out an edict that all scissors shall be discarded and we shall turn into a hippie commune?” said Saul laughing.
“You, a hippie?” Troy laughed.
“Would that be so strange?” asked Saul.
“Considering the circumstances and where you come from, yes.”
Saul chuckled, “Could you imagine the look on Ed’s face?”
“Heathcliff was going to cut his hair, but he changed his mind at the last minute when I reminded him that Kodi likes long hair on guys.”
“Really?” asked Saul smiling at the idea that Heathcliff would intentionally keep his hair long for a woman he supposedly couldn’t be bothered with.
“Yeah, he likes her I think. Of course he is still terrified at the prospect of her becoming something more than a temporary presence in his life. But I think he is slowly coming around.”
“Not that he would admit it to anyone though young Troy.”
Troy shook his head and then looked over at Kodi and said to Saul, “She’s one of the Mona Lisa’s of the world, a living breathing Mona Lisa.”
“I don’t follow you Troy, even from here I can see she has eye brows,” said Saul jokingly.
“No, it’s not that. They never show the real Mona Lisa, did you know that Saul?”
“I’m not really up on art Troy.”
“Yeah they show a replica and they hide her away in some place where the world never gets to see her face, very few people ever see the real article. Kodi’s just like that; never really shows the Kodi inside of her and I don’t know if she even knows the real Kodi either,” said Troy, gazing at Kodi and then back at Saul.
“The bigger question here is why she does it Troy, why does she hide the real Kodi away? Why does anyone over there in that place hide away who they really are and present to the world a replica?”
“Fear. Fear backed up by experience, which is sad really because she’s a talented girl, funny and smart.”
Troy walked to the steps and began to make his way down them, but then he paused and turned around to face Saul again. Saul smiled at Troy knowing he was about to have a curve ball thrown at him by the young man. Troy always got a certain look about him just before he was about to ask a curly question. As he paused on the step he said, “I have to ask this question Saul…what would have…”
Saul cut Troy off, “I don’t know the answer to that, no one does.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to ask,” said Troy incredulously.
“Yes I do, what would have happened to Kodi if Annie had transitioned? I am right aren’t I Troy?”
“Yeah.”
“The truth of the matter may very well be that Annie was never meant to be with Heathcliff, or maybe she was, who is to know for sure?”
“But…”
Saul cut Troy off again; “Maybe she would have been a match for you Troy?”
“But then what would have happened to Ruby?”
“Yes, there’s a hole in my bucket Dear Eliza, and then what would have happened to this one and that one and so on forever and ever amen? The questions would never stop and the answers to any one of those questions are elusive, which is why we simply do not confuse ourselves by asking Troy. This is the way it is, Kodi is in the here and now, Heathcliff is in the here and now, so for that matter is Ruby. Beyond that Troy, it doesn’t matter.”
“Ripple effect,” said Troy.
“Yes, ripple effect, and it’s just like that over there too, each tiny little thing everyone does has a ripple effect that touches more than they can ever know, and that reaches farther than they could ever even begin to imagine. So let’s just let the thoughts stay in the present, with what we have, with what is tangible.”
Saul smiled kindly at Troy as Troy walked down the steps, climbed the fence and set out to his brother’s house across the paddock.
Saul sat there thinking about his childhood, and how he had wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, he’d wanted to become a knight. He’d thought it would be a grand life wearing all that armour, fighting the enemy for King and country, but that’s not how it was at all. Knights were merely the drinking buddies of the King who pillaged poor defenceless villagers in the name of the King, and very little else. Well right up until Constantinople, where the King had to allocate responsibility for whole armies to individual knights as there were so many sent to lay siege to the city.
“So young and full of hope and dreams was I, thinking I could change the world, make it a better place. I dreamed that way back then and people still dream it now and although hope is still alive and well, the dream has never been realised. Probably because the vain dreams of man tend to quickly become nightmares. Especially when a man does all his learning and training in one environment and is expected to successfully put said skills to good use in an environment that is completely contrary to the original, but isn’t that always the recipe for disaster that man cooks up time and time again? Your situation is not dissimilar Miss Kodi.
How did that all get started anyway, oh yes now I remember. The Western Christians had wanted access to the holy places of biblical significance, but being that Islam was the reigning religion of the day in the Holy Land, the Muslims had control of Jerusalem. Initially they would permit them access, but then they began butchering them, so the clergy brought pressure to bear on the King to go and reclaim the holy lands (which never belonged to them in the first place). Some of the original battles between Christianity and Islam, which is why we have today, is what is referred to as the Second Crusade…according to some. This second crusade will lead to the same place as the first, blood letting and nightmares. No Troy,” thought Saul, “man refuses to learn.”
About half an hour later Troy came back and sat silently beside Saul as they watched Kodi sleeping.
“You were there when it nearly happened the first time weren’t you Saul?” asked Troy carefully; unsure as to how Saul would react.
“Yes Troy, I was there.”
“Why were you there, I mean Heathcliff was watching her, but you, what was your purpose in all of it?”
“There were two possibles that day, her and a little girl named Deanna. If she had gotten into the car with him I was to accompany Heathcliff to the, well…you know what I mean?” said Saul staring at Troy.
“So you didn’t even know which one it would be?”
“No, we don’t always know how these things are going to play out, and as it went that day, she escaped him and Deanna didn’t. I had to accompany Darius to the scene of the crime and fortunately Darius had been doing this kind of thing for years, so it was manageable.”
“Manageable?” asked Troy horrified that any situation such as that could be described as manageable.
“Darius managed to, to um, to get through it.”
Saul hung his head briefly and Troy could tell he was distressed.
“I’m sorry for bringing it up Saul, it was not my intent to upset you.”
“Well you didn’t cause the situation Troy, freewill caused that all by itself, just like freewill has caused all the other carnage I have seen over the years, but war time is the worst, you never sleep, not for days at a time. You can’t sleep because there’s so many crossing at once, and the horror and carnage is out of this world, you cannot even begin to imagine it Troy. That’s why we have helpers and most of those born over that side can never be, except for the odd exceptional case as was with Martha and Ed.”
“And yourself,” said Troy smiling.
“Yes and me Troy, you see they don’t possess the ability to switch off the memory and move forward; what we see would literally drive them insane, they could never cope with memories such as the ones we have.”
“How did you manage to develop those skills Saul?”
“I have been here a very long time Troy, many years.”
“That’s why this is so difficult for her isn’t it?”
“Yes because she has to face the memory of what happened and her mind is as yet unwilling to allow her, hence she is stuck.”
“I’m so tired of it Saul, I’m so tired of seeing them destroy each other. To be there when it happened to her and having to watch, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it. Seeing the joy on the face of the other as she did it, there was no remorse, no pity, no empathy, she just coldly enjoyed what she was doing, and I have never seen that in a person before.”
“Yes you have seen that before, have you forgotten Tamar and Naomi?”
“It’s not the same as that Saul, that was the madness of the machinery, what happened with Kodi was purposefully personal.”
“I know what you are saying Troy, but when it comes down to it, destruction is destruction,” said Saul gently.
“I don’t know if I can do this any more Saul, I just don’t know if I have what it takes to do this any more.”
“I know Troy, but you don’t have too much further to go,” said Saul attempting to comfort Troy.
“You have a tough job being a senior helper, I never want to have that kind of responsibility, I don’t think I could keep within the bounds,” said Troy very honestly.
“I know, and Heathcliff is the same, which is why when you find your mate and you have your own family you will fulfil a role such as Martha does. Peaceful walks across the mist with those who have lived long, full and contented lives. You weren’t supposed to be involved with this one, but for Annie and Heathcliff, you wouldn’t have. We brought you in merely to keep her as close to him as we possibly could. No one expects a man or woman with children to deal with the gruesome tasks anymore, those days for you and Heathcliff are almost over, Kodi is the last.”
“Does Heathcliff know that?”
“Yes Heathcliff was told some time ago that Kodi is the last of this kind. I may yet even take a break for a while and begin to devote more of my time to other pursuits.”
“Like what?”
“Well I don’t really know, but there’s several things I have wanted to do for a very long time, mountain climbing, river rafting, all the fun with none of the risk,” said Saul smiling.
“So if Heathcliff knows that she is the last, then why is he being so stubborn?”
“Hurt, fear, we all feel those emotions from time to time, we’re not immune, and after Annie one can hardly blame him.”
“Do you think we may have got it wrong with Annie?” asked Troy tentatively.
“I believe we may have got it wrong with Annie, I think we may have tried to bring her into the wrong place because something about the match with her and Heathcliff never really added up, but I don’t know anything for sure Troy. We will never really know,” he said quietly.
“What about the twin, what will happen with her?”
“She has a very long, hard and lonely road to walk before she gets here, and the world will exact an incomprehensible price from her for what she has done. She will eventually end up in a place similar to the isolation zone once she crosses, and from then on out it will be up to her. But she will dwell in a place where she refuses to believe her sister and the children were innocent victims because she believes herself to be the victim.”
“Will she have children one day?”
“No, she will never be blessed with a child again, but she will eventually work with children in the place that she is going.”
But,” said Troy; “she is never coming here is she?”
“No, she will never come here, the days of one tormenting the other are almost over forever,” said Saul kindly.
“So who will bring her across?” asked Troy curiously.
“I do not know because once we are finished with this situation, the other will become the responsibility of others who live far away from us, and we will be involved no more.”
About five minutes later, they noticed Kodi’s fingers twitching in her sleep and she began babbling incoherently.
“What’s happening Saul?” asked Troy as he stood up to walk over to her.
“She’s dreaming, can you go in and just see what’s going on?”

Troy went and knelt down beside Kodi, put his hand on her forehead and shut his eyes. The next thing Troy knew he was standing beside Kodi in a bar somewhere in the city and there was Ruby staggering across the room toward a man sitting at a table playing cards with a whole group of other men. “That’s George Papadopolis Ruby, stay away from him,” Kodi said to herself as she watched her stagger over toward the man. Kodi thought he was going to get up and hit Ruby, but he didn’t. He gently took Ruby by the arm out of a door at the back of the bar.
Kodi turned and saw her imaginary friend; “It’s you again.”
“Yes, it’s me again,” said Troy.
“What are you doing here?” she asked him as she limped toward him, “Weird, my foot is hurting in my dream, so maybe this isn’t a dream then? Maybe this is real?”
“What are you doing here?” he asked and he noticed she was slightly limping.
“Why is she limping? Was she hurt when she fell from the tree? When else could she have been hurt that I missed? That night in the storm? No I would know about that. Did she get hurt at Heathcliff’s or is this just a part of what is happening now? I know she wasn’t limping earlier on her walk to the tree.” Troy was perplexed by it.
“Do you know me?” she asked staring at him.
The bar was noisy, but the only sound Kodi could hear was his voice.
“Ruby is your friend?” he asked. He knew full well she was, but was avoiding having to give the girl too much information.
“Yes, Ruby is my friend so please don’t hurt her, she is hurt enough,” said Kodi staring into Troy’s eyes.
“I would never hurt Ruby, I am here to protect her, to take care of her.”
“Good because here she comes and she’s not looking so good.”
Ruby came staggering out of the door at the back of the bar and she made her way straight back to George who had returned to the room unnoticed by Kodi or Troy. As she approached him some mean looking man standing beside her grabbed her by the arm and spoke to her gruffly. Kodi could not make out the words, and then she saw George stand up and vehemently protect Ruby from the man, and then she heard the word cab.
“Yellow cab,” said Kodi.
“What did you say?” asked Troy astonished to hear her say that.
“There was a yellow cab parked outside the apartment that day.”
“What day?” asked Troy.
“The day she died, about an hour before it happened, a yellow cab, and he got out.”
“Who got out? Who got out of the yellow cab?” asked Troy as he walked toward her.
“The blonde haired man from my dreams, he got out of a yellow cab, he was waiting there, he was waiting for something or waiting for someone. I think he was waiting for me.”
“He was waiting for you,” said Troy perplexed that she was remembering things in such detail.
“Yes he was, he spoke to me, he asked me if we were all set for tonight and I said yes. I didn’t really know what he wanted. My mind is a mess, I can’t remember a lot of things, and sometimes I don’t know what’s real, even now, right this moment I don’t know. But I think that maybe I might have had something to do with Marli’s death.”
Troy was horrified by what he was hearing, but then he noticed Ruby stagger out of the bar with some shady character hot on her heels. Troy knew he had to follow Ruby; that he had to make sure she was okay, so he looked at Kodi and said, “You are dreaming and you need to wake up now.”
“No, this isn’t a dream, this is real,” said Kodi.
“No, this is a dream and you are very cold, you need to wake up and go inside to your bed where it is warm.”
“Well where am I now?” Kodi asked.
“You’re on the porch swing outside. Wake up, wake up now.”
Troy stood there in the bar as Kodi faded out of sight and he took off across the bar, out the door and into the night after Ruby.
Kodi awoke and she was freezing cold, but she awoke so suddenly she retained only snippets of her dream. She got up, grabbed Harry and headed inside locking the door behind her. Martha now knew it was safe for her to go off home leaving Kodi to settle in her own bed for the night.

Saul went back over to Heathcliff’s place once Martha relieved him of Kodi’s care. He gently tapped on the door and Heathcliff waved him in from where he was sitting, but men from Saul’s generation, gentlemen, they waited for the host to open the door and invite them inside the house. It was so with Saul, even though he had known Heathcliff from the very second he drew his first breath.
Heathcliff got up from his chair and went and opened the door to Saul, “Why don’t you just come in Saul?”
“You know it is not my way Heathcliff,” said Saul smiling.
“Kodi is okay?” he asked as he took Saul’s coat and hat and hung them on the rack near the door. “Some of the nights have sure been a little colder since the storm.”
“Miss Kodi is fine, Martha is with her. I think the storm has cooled things off but it will be hot again before you know it Heathcliff.”
“What it hasn’t been hot enough for you these past few nights?” asked Heathcliff.
“Well last night was lovely, but then it is cold again tonight, so it seems we have no happy medium at the moment, but my point is that things should improve soon.”
“Troy went home?” Heathcliff asked wondering where his brother had gotten to.
“No, Troy got called away to attend to something, but he shouldn’t be gone too long, back by morning I would say.”
“Ruby?” asked Heathcliff.
“Perhaps,” replied Saul.
He never got involved in any business between the brothers, Troy would tell him where he’d been and why, if and when he was ready to, or if the need arose.
“Have a seat Saul, tea?”
“Yes Heathcliff if it won’t trouble you too much, and I should like to look in on the little one again if that is not an imposition?”
“You and babies Saul, she’s in her crib in my room, go and see her, but if you wake her I will poison your tea,” said Heathcliff laughing.
Saul chuckled and then waited for Heathcliff to lead the way to the room.
“I will wait upon you Heathcliff before I go to see the little one.”
“How long have you known me Saul?” asked Heathcliff.
“I knew you before you even knew yourself Heathcliff.”
“I have known you all my life, I trust you implicitly so there is no good reason you need me to escort you into the room to see that little girl.”
“But a gentleman does not…”
“You may be a gentleman Saul, but to me you are family before you are a gentleman, now just go on in there and see her while I make tea,” said Heathcliff as he went back into the kitchen.
Saul stood there in the lounge for a moment wondering whether he should just go in by himself, he began to walk forward, hesitated and then stopped. The he said to himself, “Silly old fool,” and then he tentatively made his way down the hallway to Heathcliff’s room and stared at the crib from the doorway. After a few moments he became brave enough to go into the room and stare down into the crib of the sleeping baby.
“My you are a little beauty Alexi Willis,” he said as he watched her sleeping, and then he leaned over the crib and placed a kiss upon her cheek.
Then Saul carefully made his way from the room and went back down to the lounge and sat there thinking about going rafting on the river.
While Saul sat at the table patiently waiting for Heathcliff’s return to the room his thoughts turned to the situation with the baby and he felt pride that his Heathcliff was doing such a wonderful job with the little girl.
When Heathcliff returned with tea he looked at Saul and said, “So she’s peaceful looking when she sleeps isn’t she?”
“Ah yes, you are indeed a good father to the little one Heathcliff but I always knew you would be. You are very much like Joe in many ways, he too is a very good father, and it is pleasing to see he has passed those skills on to both of his sons.”
“What lays ahead for her Saul?”
“I only know that Alexi and Tay will be together later on in their lives, and that they will work exceptionally well together, but that there will be times when you and Troy will sincerely doubt that.”
“They are not going to like each other?”
“They will fight like cat and dog for a season,” Saul said laughing.
“Great,” said Heathcliff, “something to look forward to.”
“Well Alexi has her mother’s stubbornness and fire and Tay has his mother’s stubbornness and fire, and when you combine the two you get…”
“Double trouble,” said Heathcliff laughing, “oh well.”
“When I said they will be together I mean as helpers, obviously we can not put them together as a life long pair, they are now cousins, but they will be firm and fast friends when all is said and done.”
“My mother adores that little girl, I suppose in part because she never had a daughter of her own.”
“She never wanted daughters, she always wished for two boys, and that is what she got, but yes she is proud of that little girl. Do you know she took her to Martha’s a few days back for their book club morning that they do?”
“No I didn’t know that,” said Heathcliff smiling.
“Oh yes and they spent the entire time gooing over that little girl and no books were discussed. She did the same thing when Tay first arrived too.”
“That’s my mother, such a sweet disposition,” said Heathcliff.
“Emily is indeed very unique, as are we all I suppose,” said Saul.
Heathcliff looked to the floor and then back to Saul, “Did you know she climbed a tree today?” Heathcliff knew that Saul and Troy knew something, he had seen them coming out of her place earlier that day yet they had mentioned nothing about it to him.
“Yes we were there, Troy and I.”
“Do you think she was trying to really hurt herself?” asked Heathcliff tentatively.
“Yes I believe she was trying to, but she fell before she could.” Saul looked at the floor too and then back up at Heathcliff, “I don’t think she will do that again Heathcliff, Troy has spoken to her on the matter and explained to her that she must not attempt it again. I think she took the message to her heart.”
“What if she didn’t, Saul? What then?”
“Trust me Heathcliff, she will not do that again, and worse case scenario, we can always place her with Kaleb for a time.”
“Kaleb?” asked Heathcliff perplexed at the very idea that Kaleb could be called upon for anything such as the problems they were having with Kodi.
“Kaleb has worked with a few before, just quietly between you and I Heathcliff, he would probably be very good for Kodi. However, as I said before, I believe that she will not venture again where she ventured today.”
“I think I will start spending a little more time with her, she needs me, well maybe not me but she needs someone,” said Heathcliff.
“Yes you are indeed right Heathcliff.”
“So may as well be me, right?”
“Why not?” said Saul.
“I was wondering, when are Diego and Andrew returning? Seems they’ve been gone for forever.”
“They have gone to Armiston to help out with some boys for William. They had some problems with them, similar to Johnny and Jimmy.”
“They are in Armiston? I thought once someone was sent there that they didn’t come out?”
“Well not for a while, but those boys were born here so they have gone to see whether there may be something else that can be done for them and the temple shall gather once they return.”
“Are they aware of what is going on here?” asked Heathcliff.
“Very aware, but they have left Edgar and I in charge until their return, of this situation anyway and we are taking advisement from Andrew as is needed.”
“Do they know about Kodi and the tree?”
“Yes, Andrew alerted us that she was going there which was why Troy and I were able to be there.”
“Alexi has not been set aside yet, when will that happen?”
“Eight days after Kodi crosses it will happen Heathcliff, she is to give her consent as well, it cannot be done without it.”
“Why not?”
“I cannot tell you why not at this point but Andrew will inform you of why when he returns, he will need to see you and Kodi, probably Troy too.”
“Why?”
“I am not at liberty to say Heathcliff, we really need to speak of something else or I shall have to leave and return home because I am forbidden to speak with you any further on the issue,” said Saul solemnly.
Heathcliff nodded his head and then tapped his fingers on the table. Saul noticed that Heathcliff looked a little nervous, like he always did when he was about to bring up a subject he was a little ill at ease with. “What is up with my boys today?” he thought.
“Something has been troubling me Saul.”
“What would that be Heathcliff?” asked Saul even though he had a fairly good idea of what was troubling him.
“Kodi told me she had been found at Charles’s house the other night when she got lost in the storm. Ed never told me that, did you know?” Heathcliff fiddled with the handle on his coffee mug while Saul sipped at his tea.
“Yes Heathcliff, I knew she had been found at his house, and I suppose you want to know why we didn’t tell you?”
“Well yes Saul, all things considered you must understand why I’d want to know why that was kept from me.”
“Ed was concerned, as was I, that you might jump to conclusions that perhaps he may have done something to Kodi, but I can assure you Heathcliff, he did not touch her. Even if he wanted to, he could not.”
“How can you be so sure Saul? I know you mean well, but you know what he did when he was still on the other side, Saul he nearly got her, remember? And her memory being what it is she might not even remember what happened while she was there waiting for Ed.”
Heathcliff stared at Saul whom he had loved and trusted for as long as he could remember. Saul had taught him almost everything he knew.
“Heathcliff, you remember how when you were just starting out and I told you that often things are told to us on a need to know basis?”
“Yes, I remember you telling me that.”
“Well here’s another piece of information for you Heathcliff, Charles forfeited certain things by continuing down his chosen path.”
“What are you saying to me Saul?”
“He forfeited his manhood Heathcliff, that was the price he paid.”
“We do those kinds of things here? Saul, tell me we don’t, please tell me we don’t inflict more suffering on people, not even people like him. That would make us as bad as them Saul.”
Heathcliff nervously tapped his fingers on the table and he looked at Saul almost pleadingly because he did not want to find out that anyone one of them could be involved in something so vicious.
“We do not exact a price when it comes to someone who continues down a path even when they have been warned to stop, but sometimes the world does. But the good news is that it is not forever. When Charles reaches the place where he fully comprehends what he has done and is truly sorry for it, then all will be restored.”
“Does he know that?” asked Heathcliff relieved to hear that what had been done to Charles was not permanent and that no one he knew had exacted such a heavy toll on another. He was also relieved that he couldn’t do anything to Kodi in his present condition.
“No he does not know that, we do not tell them, that way they have no reason to try and trick anyone with false repentance.”
“Do I want to know what was exactly what was done to him Saul?”
“His last victim’s father did it to him, but he was warned it would happen if he did not stop. It was clearly spelled out to him, but he just didn’t listen.”
Saul did not offer any more information than that because he wanted to be absolutely certain that it was Heathcliff’s decision whether he was told the details or not. Saul knew that sometimes details could be shocking, even to their kind.
“What did he do to him?” Heathcliff asked feeling sicker by the second.
“He attacked him, removing, well all of it as such, and then once Charles was out of the hospital, he waited until a court appearance and he shot him to death.”
Heathcliff heaved a sick sigh, “Why not just shoot him in the first place?”
“He wanted Charles to suffer and die through having the ‘procedure’ for want of a better term, done. Charles was supposed to bleed to death, but someone found him and took him to a hospital.”
“Anger, such an ugly emotion some times. I mean I know I wanted to strike him down at the mere thought he would touch a child that way, but to actually do it is a whole other matter.”
“Charles attacked and strangled the man’s five year old daughter, his only child and he left her naked body behind their local bus shelter and as much as I do not believe in vengeance, I can understand the rage that that father must have felt. To have your child ripped away from you in such a savage attack is a whole other matter too. The things we deal with aren’t pretty Heathcliff, you know that, and you are only now able to have empathy for Charles. Imagine what your reaction would have been had I told you years ago what had been done to him?”
“I would have been glad Saul, now I just feel pity, for the father, the little girl and Charles. I mean vengeance tends to create more victims and tends not to achieve peace for the avenger, but still the world feels compelled to exact an extra pound of flesh.”
“Don’t judge the world too harshly Heathcliff, there were many more victims than what the world ever found out about, and part of his coming clean was giving other parents closure, and he never afforded them that. Those parents will wonder what became of their children until the day they die. When you consider it from that aspect, the price exacted from Charles isn’t so great in comparison.”
“So when he repents all will be restored to him, no more questions asked?”
“Yes, but he will never be blessed with children, when he gets a wife, she will be barren, and she will be from a similar kind of background as he and they will remain together where he is now, in that house in that area.”
“Will he know happiness?” asked Heathcliff.
“Yes he will know happiness Heathcliff, but not to the extent that you and I have been blessed with happiness, and also remember this, he is a very long way away from repenting and feeling genuine remorse for what he did. Right now he is locked into stubbornness, and he will not be told what to do by anyone.”
“So all the men over there have been well, you know?” asked Heathcliff.
“No, some have and most haven’t, but those who are had it done to them back in the world, not here. As I said Heathcliff, we don’t exact a price, that price is exacted by the world before they come here. Although, as you know, there would be terrible consequences for anyone from our world who was to harm a child.”
“That would never happen in our world, Saul, there is no one here who would ever do that.”
“We like to think so, Heathcliff, but we have certain edicts and decrees in place just in case and it would be judge much more harshly here too as we people know much better than to entertain something so depraved.”
“I know, but we do not punish them heinously for what they have done there, do we? I mean, we definitely had nothing to do with what was done to Charles?”
“No, Heathcliff, we did not.”
“I’m relieved to hear that Saul, you kind of gave me a bit of a start for a second there.”
“Consequences, there are consequences for everything that happens and Charles could have made things go a lot easier for himself, and the way he lives now was chosen by him also. Anyway enough of that, but at least now you can rest assured that Miss Kodi was not in any danger when she stumbled upon him that night.”
“I sure am thankful for that Saul, and I understand why no one told me they found her there at the time, and I have no ill feelings about the decision. By the way, and this has always mystified me, but how did Charles start out where he did and then up where he was?”
“He was in the States to begin with and he went out there with an oil rigging company. He did what he did there without detection, as you know, and then he returned to the States and picked up with a new woman who had two children of her own, but luckily for those two children, she had left them with their father, he was a reverend. His new woman had a friend who had two little girls, Tarryn and Cinnem, and their mother in turn had a brother named Antonio who had two sons, so Charles ensured he had access to many children. Anyway, it was Tarryn he attacked and murdered.”
“But you said the girl he got caught over was an only child,” said Heathcliff somewhat confused.
“Tarryn and Cinnem had different fathers, Tarryn’s father Carlos was also the best friend of Antonio, and Tarryn was his only child.” said Saul.
“And Antonio was Tarryn’s uncle?” asked Heathcliff trying to get it straight in his mind, “and best friend of Carlos?”
“Yes, Antonio was Tarryn’s mother’s older brother, Tarryn’s uncle and god father.”
“So who were the two children of the woman Charles took up with?” asked Heathcliff.
“Chas and Ruby Cagill, they were raised by their father the…”
“Oh my goodness Saul, that woman was their mother?”
“I know you didn’t know that, it was kept from you for no other reason than that it was irrelevant by the time you took over charge of Ruby. She was long gone by then, and well…and Ruby is to marry the brother of the man who is supposed to be…well you know,” said Saul quietly.
“Annie knew some of the people who know Chas and Ruby…Annie and Kodi were almost within distance of each other…did they ever meet?”
“No Heathcliff, Annie died just before Kodi arrived here,” said Saul.
“Could there have been a mistake made? Do you think because all of this is so closely tied in to everything else, do you think we could have gotten Annie and Kodi mixed up, you know, their purposes, their places?”
“Maybe Heathcliff, it is possible.”
“The part I don’t understand is that Kodi grew up a world apart from all of these people, and Charles made his move against her in another hemisphere, yet in an odd kind of way his influence was still exacted upon her life in the end.”
“I know what you are saying, it is strange how all these people are involved, and your father is even tied up in these lives on the peripheral,” said Saul.
“That makes the world a pretty small place Saul,” said Heathcliff quite mind boggled by the whole interwoven situation.
“Well that’s the whole thing Heathcliff, when it gets down to it, the world is indeed a very small place. Just about everyone is connected to someone who knows someone else.”
“What forms the nucleus of existence Saul?” asked Heathcliff.
“Well that is easy, God of course. God is the bond that ties us all together.”
“So you always believed in God Saul?” asked Heathcliff.
“Well of course I did, I had to in my line of work, how could I do this if I did not?’
“But you weren’t born here were you?”
“No I wasn’t. My mother was one of many wives, she was killed in her sixth month of pregnancy and so I was raised by my father as a favourite son.”
“So where is your father now?”
“Oh he is in another place, I go there sometimes and see him,” he said smiling.
“What about your mother?”
“Yes my mother is in another place too and from time to time I have looked in on her, but she does not recall me at all, and I do not really know her either.”
“Did you understand all of this right from the start?”
“Did you?”
“Well yeah, I grew up with it, so I could not help but understand it.”
“I am not much different to you because I have been here so long and I have had many years to get to know and learn the ways of this place.”
Heathcliff nodded his head, and then asked, “Yeah, you have been here a long time, how old was I when you asked me if I could keep a secret, ten?”
“Yes you were, and you have kept it to this day, so has your brother, Taite and a few others I have had under my wing from time to time. That is the very thing that separated ones such as you from others who became merely messengers. Your ability to hold your silence for the sake of others.”
“1099. There, I said it at long last, and do you know that even Troy and I have never uttered those numbers to each other? And we’re as close as brothers can be.”
“I know,” said Saul, as he smiled kindly at Heathcliff.
Heathcliff and Saul sat there staring at each other for a few moments and then Heathcliff asked, “So anyway, did Charles ever hurt his own children?”
“No Heathcliff he never touched his own, but he left an indelible handprint on them all the same by virtue of being who he was.”
“Was Kaleb Tarryn’s helper?” asked Heathcliff unsure as to whether he would answer that question or not.
“Yes he was.”
“I always suspected as much. That’s terrible, I mean I knew he’d gone through that terrible thing but…” said Heathcliff trailing off.
“I know, and some of the things we have had to walk through over the years have been difficult,” said Saul staring at him.
“I try not to think about it too much, and yet I have always felt bad that I hurt her in stopping it happening to her, she even has a scar, but…”
“You did the right thing Heathcliff and lucky for you it worked, Kaleb too tried everything, but he could not deter Tarryn. I don’t know why it works for some and not others. I guess it’s a bit like what I said to Troy earlier today, some questions have elusive answers, so we just don’t ask ourselves the questions in the first place. But Kaleb is starting to come right, trust me on this. Sure he will never work with children again, but as I said, he’s coming on board slowly with other things. He has done some incredibly good one on one work with a few others we’ve had come in along the way, which is why I had him in mind for Kodi.”
“What’s the story with Chas, you know his being an um…a…” Heathcliff could not bring himself to say the word out loud to Saul.
“A homosexual?” offered Saul, “You grapple so with that word Heathcliff.”
“Yeah, why is he that way? I mean I know that he will cross the mist one day too, but what will happen to him because we could never allow that kind of thing to occur here.”
“Heathcliff, homosexuality, in Chas’ case is due to illness of the mind, due to something that happened to him when he was a small boy.”
“What happened to him?”
“Charles got to him when he was visiting with his mother just before she died. He did terrible despicable things to Chas, yet Chas retains no memory of it. He thinks he is gay through choice, but in fact his mother caught Charles doing things to Chas and she did nothing to stop it. Antonio Papadopolis killed her the same day as the incident with Charles outside the courthouse went down. Antonio believed that if she had have spoken up about what Charles did to Chas then the incident involving Tarryn would not have come to pass.”
“How did Antonio find out what had happened to Chas?”
“Chas mother told the FBI when she was questioned after Charles was arrested, Damien and Xaan’s father was present during questioning. He told Antonio, and Antonio was so angry he put a bullet in the base of her skull and that was the end of her.”
“Where is she now?”
“I do not know,” said Saul, “but she relinquished the sacred bond of motherhood with Chas and Ruby well before that incident happened Heathcliff and so her absence from their lives has been inconsequential. In fact if anything it did them both a favour because in adult life, George, a little through guilt if nothing more, has watched over Ruby to a certain extent and George is paramount to the situation with the twins.”
“Is there anyone in that circle who has managed to go untouched by Charles?”
“Not really, his actions have touched the whole lot of them in one way or another, and thus it has touched you too.”
“Will Chas recover?’ asked Heathcliff.
“It is a little like Kodi, he cannot recover from what he does not remember, and so when he comes here eventually, well for a time he will go to a place where he can be gently walked through what happened to him and deal with it. Once he has dealt with what happened to him his sexuality will right itself and he will find homosexuality as abhorrent as you or I do, but never forget Heathcliff, it is not his fault that he is the way he is. His mother, a woman, betrayed him in the worst way and subconsciously he cannot bear the thought of even touching a woman in the way a man touches a woman.”
Both men sat there in silence for a few minutes both lost in their own thoughts, Heathcliff wondering why Charles ever felt the compulsion to do what he’d done in the first place, and Saul thinking about the day Charles arrived and Kaleb had found out about it.

“Charles Coleman will be arriving at the Court House to face a jury of his peers.” the radio crackled out through the car speakers.
Carlos snapped the radio off in the Studebaker and said to his friend, “As if someone like that could have peers, that fellow Manson doesn’t even rate close to this bastard. I will take his life this time, I will snuff it out, I will rid the world of him.”
“How long have we known each other Carlos?” he asked as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. Carlos knew this was probably the last conversation he’d ever have with Antonio and so he said, “Since childhood and I love you like a brother.”
“Same here, so you understand why I have to ask you this, are you sure you want to do this Carlos?”
“Wouldn’t you, I mean Tarryn was your niece, your godchild, don’t you want revenge?” asked Carlos.
“Yes of course I do, but I wouldn’t do it like this. Every person who sees you take him out will automatically become witnesses and there is no way I will ever be able to get you out of that Carlos, comprende? You’ll be out on the water by yourself, a sitting duck, because no amount of money or arm twisting, or bribes, or even calling in favours will stop you going to jail for the rest of your life.”
“Well I’m already in jail Antonio… for life…so what’s the difference? Besides, I want him to know it was me, and we both know what will happen if he makes it through the trial, he won’t fry, he’ll live for many years.”
Antonio nodded his head and then said, “Bloody Californian liberal bleeding hearts ridding us of the death penalty.”
“If something goes wrong then please promise me you will finish what I could not?” Carlos stared at his friend whose word had always been something he could trust with his life.
“I will Carlos, I swear on my children that I will,” said Antonio.
Then the car had arrived and Charles was helped from the car and flanked by three officers as they walked him toward the court steps. His eyes were wild with fear, what if his attacker was lurking somewhere out in the crowd? “Why couldn’t they take me in the back? I bet they are deliberately making a public spectacle of me the baby killer. Bloody freak show, that’s what it is, well what about my rights?” he had shrieked.
There were television reporters, radio station reporters and throngs of other people; it was pure madness.
Carlos got out of Antonio’s car and Antonio drove away leaving the poor man to his fate, “I hope I have done the right thing,” he said to himself.
Saul was waiting on the steps of the courthouse when he saw Carlos arrive and stare nervously around at all the people waiting to see the handcuffed baby murderer. He attempted to just blend in with the crowd, “I have to play it cool and I must keep hold on my temper. I must not speak until it is time. Oh God help me to keep a hold on my temper until it is time to unleash my fury.”
Carlos had no idea that God would not aid him in his endeavour to rid the world of Charles Coleman, and he had no idea that someone was there to watch over him despite his intent for evil. Carlos was not in his right mind, he was a man who had been driven to the very brink of destruction by the madness and cruelty of the world in which he lived. Within the next few minutes he would be driven completely over the edge to the point of no return.
“Murderer!” shouted one woman.
“Baby killer!” shouted another.
“Give him the chair,” screamed a man.
“No the chair is too quick, he should be tormented the way he tormented those babies, SCUM!” yelled another.
“What justice is there for those babies in a State where the cold blooded murder of innocent children is not avenged with death?” called another voice from somewhere within the crowd.
“BURN IN HELL!” screamed another.
The crowd jostled each other trying to get close to the killer, the monster yelling and jeering, and one man even got close enough to spit in his face. Charles was terrified, but he never once gave even a moment of thought to the terror that he had bestowed upon his innocent defenceless victims.
Ed found he had to concentrate on what he was there to do, and he found that he had to try and switch off the knowledge he held of what Charles had done. He had never had to deal with something like that before, and it was only going to get harder because the conflict would follow him right across the mist and then meet him again on the other side.
Saul knew that Ed was struggling with his terrible role in all of that as he looked at Ed and quietly said, “Have courage Ed.” Amazingly enough Ed was able to hear Saul above the mess of noise and he looked at Saul and nodded his head.
Carlos edged his way around the group of people near the steps and in amidst the confusion of the thronging crowd, he made eye contact with the cop who had been paid to ensure Carlos got a clean shot. As he looked at the policeman he’d paid off he thought, “Damien and Xaan will never need or want for anything, now remember, at the second step you move out of my way or you’ll be going with him.”
Saul sat there watching the whole scene unfold and Ed was waiting at the second step. Ed looked to Saul and gave a nod, so Saul got up and moved down toward the second step too.
Carlos made his way to the second step, nodded to the cop, pulled out his gun and shot Charles at point blank range, “You murdering bastard, you killed my baby Tarryn, you evil piece of shit,” he said as he put a few more rounds into Charles. The policemen caught Charles as he fell to the bottom step bleeding profusely, and Charles was screaming, “HELP ME HELP ME!” Ed moved toward Charles as the last bullet penetrated his brain. Just as the policemen were about to draw their guns on Carlos, he put his gun to his head and without another word pulled the trigger, and he too fell to the ground.
People began screaming, and there were shocked, dazed and blood-spattered people standing there like zombies, afraid to move, their brain paralysed by the unexpected events that had unfolded around them. Others began to come out of their trance-like state as they picked pieces of human skull, hair and brains from their clothing and from out of their hair.
Many were taught a very sad lesson about vengeance that day, and none more so than the fourteen year old boy Voh who witnessed the whole thing from his perch at the top of the railing by the window. He was supposed to be at school but he had decided to go down to the court house to see what was happening, if he could get close enough maybe he could get a real story for the school newspaper?
He had also wanted to see the notorious Charles Coleman for himself, to see what a baby killer looked like. He’d expected him to look pretty much like Charles Manson, but he didn’t, he looked like any other ordinary man. But Voh saw so much more than he had ever bargained for. It looked to Voh as though the shooter had given some kind of signal to one of the cops, he noticed because of the way the shooter nodded his head and the cop had nodded back, then the shooting had started. The cop who the shooter had nodded at moved right back out of his way. He saw each bullet rip into Charles Coleman, the first penetrating his stomach, but Charles had stood there as though he hadn’t even been hit. The second bullet had blasted through his chest knocking him slightly backward, and as the third and fourth bullets hit him he lurched backward with full force. Taking the other two cops down with him, and the cop he’d nodded at didn’t even go for his gun, he’d just stood there staring at the shooter.
Then Voh had seen the shooter put the gun under his own chin, and Voh had screamed out, "NO,” and shut his eyes as the shooter took his own life. Even from where he was sitting on the railing bits of the shooter had sprayed up and hit him on the legs and face. He had sat there shaking in complete shock and he noticed how silent it was for about five or ten seconds as frightened surprised and shocked people gazed around them hardly believing what had just happened.
Then the shock and surprised turned to complete panic and horror as other people began screaming. Suddenly people were madly trying to get away from what had happened, but Voh had remained sitting there unwilling to move a muscle. That was when the cop the shooter had nodded at came over to him and asked for his parent’s phone number. He’d lifted Voh from the railings and taken him over to a waiting ambulance to be cleaned up. His parents were then called to come and pick up their frightened and traumatised child. In the end his parents moved down to San Diego in an effort to aid the boy in his recovery from the memories of that day.
“The scene outside the court house is one of chaos, there have been five gunshots that have been heard so far. Someone’s down, someone’s down I think…yes it appears Charles Coleman has been shot down on the steps of the court house…and wait a minute…yes the shooter is down too. It is just pandemonium here folks and the police are now trying to clear the area so emergency vehicles can get through… there are people screaming, and crying…it’s utter pandemonium…yes the shooter is down, it appears he took his own life. Yes folks Charles Coleman has been pronounced dead. What a day folks, yes indeed what a day.”
Antonio had heard the broadcast of his friend’s death over the radio a few streets away from where the incident had taken place and he’d immediately gone to be with his sister and her remaining child Cinnem. There had been nothing left to Antonio except for him to wonder for the rest of his days as to whether he had done the right thing in aiding Carlos in his bid for revenge.
Ed immediately went to Charles and began to escort him across the mist to his final destination, and Saul went to Carlos and began to escort him also.
Carlos cried as he was escorted away by Saul, “My baby, my baby, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I killed a man, I killed a man and I killed myself, are you taking me to hell?” he asked Saul, scared out of his mind.
Saul had simply hugged the man to himself and he had replied, “No Carlos, you are leaving hell.”
Carlos was taken to another place far away from Charles, some place he would never have to see or hear about him again, the place where he would begin another life where children were safe from predators such as the one who had taken the life of his precious Tarryn.
Charles was taken to the isolation zone, but it had not escape Kaleb’s attention that Charles was arriving and Kaleb was waiting. He was angry, bitter and vengeful, and as soon as he saw Ed arriving with Charles he decided he would deal with Charles his way.
Ed was standing there with Charles, and Charles was fairly sober and quiet because he was still confused by what had just happened. Kaleb walked straight up to Charles and shoved him, and said, “That monster’s not coming here, I don’t want him here and he doesn’t deserve to be here.” Kaleb had grabbed a hold of the front of Charles’s shirt.
“Calm down Kaleb and let him go,” said Ed who was trying to protect Charles from Kaleb’s onslaught.
Both Heathcliff and Troy were present, but they both just stood there and allowed Kaleb to do what he wanted. Heathcliff felt no inclination to do anything to protect Charles at all, and Troy was fairly much guided by his older brother at that time, so he stood by and let Kaleb do what he must.
Kaleb then began to jostle the man until he had knocked him to the ground, “You murdering piece of human garbage, I’m going to choke the life out of you like you did to her,” he said, and then he sat atop of him with his hands around his throat.
Heathcliff stood there in full support of Kaleb, the monster deserved all he got and then some as far as he was concerned at the time.
“Heathcliff,” yelled Ed, “YOU KNOW THIS ISN’T RIGHT!”
“Freewill Ed, I cannot interfere in Kaleb’s freewill,” he said as he continued to just stand there. He had no idea at the time who the child had been, only that she had been one of Kaleb’s.
“Heathcliff, you know exactly what is going on here, I am with Charles and I cannot stop Kaleb, but you can, please I beg of you for Kaleb’s sake that you stop him,” pleaded Ed.
Heathcliff did not give things another thought and then ran to Kaleb and said, “Kaleb, let him go.”
But Kaleb was beyond listening so Heathcliff crouched down over Kaleb trying to prise his hands off Charles and said loudly, “YOU CAN’T KILL HIM KALEB, YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T.”
“GET OUT OF IT HEATHCLIFF, just leave me, let me rid our world of this monster.”
“Get OFF HIM,” yelled Heathcliff.
“KALEB!” yelled Ed, but Kaleb was beyond hearing reason so Ed enlisted the help of Troy, “Troy help your brother.”
Troy went and knelt down beside Kaleb unsure as to what he should do to help. Heathcliff grabbed Kaleb’s arms and attempted to drag him off Charles, but just as he managed to move him slightly, Kaleb surged forward with a fresh bout of energy breaking free from Heathcliff who he sent tumbling sideways, and he began punching Charles in the face repeatedly.
Kaleb was hitting Charles so hard that Ed had feared he would indeed knock Charles’s head from his shoulders completely.
“GET HIM OFF HIM! Heathcliff, Troy grab his arms,” said ED, the urgency in his voice noticed by both Troy and Heathcliff.
“On three Troy,” said Heathcliff, “one, two, three,” and they both pulled with all their might and managed to get Kaleb off Charles.
“You take the side of a killer,” said Kaleb weakly as he lay on the ground with tears rolling down his face, Troy and Heathcliff’s combined weight pinning him so that he could not move.
“No, we take the side of what is right,” said Heathcliff, “even if we don’t understand it,” he added staring straight at Ed.
Troy and Heathcliff got off Kaleb releasing him. Kaleb got to his feet and screamed at Heathcliff, “HE’S A BABY KILLER, BUT YOU TAKE THE SIDE OF RIGHT! SO HE IS RIGHT?”
“You know he is not,” said Ed.
“BUT YOU TAKE HIS SIDE!” screamed Kaleb again.
Troy had stood there dazed and confused, and Heathcliff had stood there reflecting on the unfairness of Charles being protected by the very people who could not protect the innocent children from him.
“It’s not fair Kaleb, I do not understand it, but there is a reason why you cannot exact your kind of justice upon him,” said Heathcliff.
“Not fair? NOT FAIR? DON’T YOU EVER TALK TO ME ABOUT FAIR AGAIN! I COULDN’T PROTECT HER, I WATCHED HIM RAPE AND STRANGLE HER AND YOU WANT TO TALK FAIR?” screamed Kaleb at Heathcliff. Kaleb had then crouched down on the ground and began vomiting.
Charles began laughing at Kaleb, Heathcliff, Troy and Ed, “So it’s true, there is no justice for the innocent, simply justice for me,” and he laughed so much at the irony of it all that he doubled up.
Kaleb made one last desperate attempt to exact some kind of punishment on Charles, but Heathcliff and Troy grabbed him and held him so that he could not. It would be years before Kaleb would understand enough to forgive Heathcliff and Troy for their behaviour on that day.
Saul had been looking on from a distance determined not to step in unless it was absolutely necessary, and in the end it had become necessary.
And it was Saul who had gained control of the situation in, sending Troy and Heathcliff on their way, and then Ed on his way with Charles, and then he’d been left with Kaleb.
“Such an unfortunate incident,” thought Saul to himself as he sat there at Heathcliff’s table remembering how he’d yelled at Kaleb.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING KALEB, ARE YOU GOD?”
“He murdered her before my very eyes, I saw what he did. I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO HER YOU SICK MURDERING BASTARD!” he screamed at Charles as Ed escorted him away. Then he’d looked at Saul wild-eyed and screamed with the very last ounce of his energy, “GO TO HELL!”
Kaleb had then taken off back to his house, cleared out his things and moved to the beach telling Saul he was never coming back and to not ever ask him to work with anyone again because he wouldn’t do it.
Kaleb had stayed there on his own for years in total isolation before he’d spoken to anyone. When people had turned up to see him he’d pretended to be out, but he spent a lot of time on the other side looking in on his old wards as they grew up. He watched their new helpers, and sometimes those helpers thought they caught a glimpse of Kaleb every now and then, but no one ever spoke too much about it. Like Saul had said, “Kaleb will come right when Kaleb is ready.”
It was Heathcliff who cut through the silence first, “Lost you there for a bit Saul, you thinking about anything in particular?”
“Just how interwoven all these lives are Heathcliff.”
“By design?” asked Heathcliff.
“Not necessarily but I think their helpers are, but enough of that. So anyway, a little birdie told me you had a visitor in your pool the other night, a rather pretty guest I heard.”
Heathcliff was shocked Saul would even ask such a question, he was never usually that forward.
“Yes, she snuck into my pool, had a swim, cut her foot on the way out and I tended to the foot for her.”
Heathcliff had a funny little smile on his face and Saul just knew he wasn’t telling him the whole story, but he didn’t mind because he too had his fair share of private goings on that he would not share with just anyone.
“Do you think she learned her lesson Heathcliff about wandering around in the dark?” Saul asked playfully.
“Absolutely not because if she was going to learn anything about wandering around in the dark, then the night she got lost in the storm would have done the trick. As you know that she stole into my pool, then you must conclude the obvious that Miss Kodi is not a very fast learner.” Heathcliff smiled at Saul.
“You like her don’t you Heathcliff?” Saul smiled as he asked the question and he knew how Heathcliff would answer. “He’ll say something like, I will not say anything for fear of incriminating myself.”
“I will not incriminate myself by giving you an answer to that question,” said Heathcliff smiling at Saul.
“When are you going to cut that long mop of hair you are sporting?” asked Saul knowing full well the answer, yet wanting to hear it from him.
“Just decided not to cut it, you never know, it might come in handy yet.”
Saul smiled and asked, “For who and for what?”
Heathcliff smiled, touched his nose with his finger and said, “Tut tut Saul, I do believe you are on a personal fishing expedition. Don’t waste your time indulging your curiosity at my expense and do your fishing in the river.”
“Ah the teacher becomes the student,” chuckled Saul. “Yes well Heathcliff the hour is getting very late…” Saul was drowned out by the grandfather clock striking the half hour, “see even the clock knows it’s time for me to go home and climb into my nice comfortable bed.”
Saul got up from the table and stood by the door as Heathcliff helped him with his coat and handed him his hat.
“Hey Martha was talking to me tonight about the day she fixed Kodi’s forehead, the day you tripped her up,” said Saul.
“Yeah that was quite funny at Martha’s, that was the day I met Matthew for the first time. Well I didn’t meet him, but I saw him. I was thinking about that the other night when she was here,” said Heathcliff.
“Martha said Kodi was terribly funny how she pointed to you and said that you pushed her over. Martha said she was very assertive,” Saul said smiling.
“Yes she was, and it was even funnier when Ed told Martha she had to pretend to she couldn’t see me, but she played along fantastically. I think Kodi, even at four years old thought we were all quite mad. Why do you think she has been able to see me right from the start Saul?”
“I’m not sure Heathcliff, perhaps it was just meant to be that way for her? But I really don’t know why to be absolutely truthful with you. She sees your mother and Joe too and they never seem to fade out on her, just Troy. Strange isn’t it?”
“Could it be the fact that she thinks she’s imagining Troy? I mean she thinks she’s imagined him all her life, she doesn’t realise it was actually me she was seeing and not him.”
“Could be that she doesn’t trust what she’s seeing when it comes to Troy, that could be exactly what’s going on. Aside from Annie, and even her case was not as complex as this, we’ve never really had one quite like Kodi, so we’re all learning new things yet again.”
“She’s an unforgiving teacher isn’t she?” asked Heathcliff laughing.
“Yes indeed she is,” responded Saul who also laughed.
A heavy silence hung in the air for a few seconds when finally Heathcliff asked the question that Saul had been waiting weeks to hear, “Am I meant to be with her Saul? Are you sure this time?”
Saul stared at him and then moved right in close by him and placed the palm of his hand on his forehead, “Shut your eyes Heathcliff,” said Saul gently.
Heathcliff could feel the warmth of Saul’s hand on his forehead and then it was as though Heathcliff was seeing a fast playing movie inside his head, snippets of things to come.
He saw himself sitting on the porch swing staring out at something and as he followed the stare of himself in the vision he saw Kodi standing by the birdbath smiling as a little child of about two years old played at her feet. Kodi looked healthy, happy, bright eyed and at peace as she stared back at Heathcliff on the swing. He was so overwhelmed by the emotions he was feeling that he felt as though he may cry at any given second.
Then the picture abruptly changed to a view of the inside of his bedroom, where he saw himself grabbing Kodi by the hand and pulling her back into the bed. He noticed also that Kodi’s stomach was greatly distended and he saw two baby shawls on the chair by the crib, both pale purple in colour. Then before he knew it he was seeing a child emerge from her body and there was blood everywhere as the second child also emerged, both himself and Kodi were crying in the vision. The image began to fade and was replaced by an image of him naked and being intimate with Kodi. She was whispering something to him but he couldn’t quite make out what she was saying.
The overpowering emotion present inside all of the visions was that of happiness, fulfilment, contentment and peace, both his and Kodi’s.
Saul removed his hand from Heathcliff’s forehead and with that the images faded. Heathcliff opened his eyes and looked at Saul, and Saul said, “It is all there for the taking Heathcliff, all you have to do is want it badly enough to ensure she crosses so you can both have that life together.”
Heathcliff nodded his head and asked, “Can I show her this Saul?”
“Yes you may Heathcliff, and you will know when it is the right time to do so. I know you are scared, I know you are hesitant, but the first step on the path is for you to accept her. You need to accept that she is yours.”
Heathcliff walked Saul outside to the porch and once they were there, Saul placed his hat upon his head and set off out into the night.
The day had dawned bright and sunny, and although Kodi’s foot was still quite sore, she decided it would be a good day to go for a walk.
“Perhaps we could go and pick flowers Harry, what do you think? I suppose you would be just as happy to stay here and mooch around in the sun? Maybe we could go out and try to find where Ed lives? Surely someone around here must know. Perhaps we could go and ask Heathcliff? Probably not a good idea is it Harry? Okay so we’ll just go flower picking, it’s close to home so if anything goes wrong we’re not too far from safety. No chance of us getting lost in another storm.”
Wandering down the road picking wild flowers was something Kodi loved, and the flowers there were way better than the ones she’d gone and bought in the city. Sometimes she’d even been brave enough to stop on the highway to pick the ones growing in the grade.
One time a law enforcement officer stopped his car and called out to her, “Hey there little lady, do you know there’s a ten dollar fine for every flower you take from here?”
Kodi looked up at him and called out, “Great I’ve only just gotten brave enough to drive out here on my own and now I get caught. “I have money.”
The officer had a little chuckle to himself at the bravery of the young woman at being so casual in being caught in illegal behaviour. “I’m serious, it’s ten bucks for every one of those you take, how many you got there?” he asked as he stepped out from his vehicle and jumped the road barrier over into the grade.
“I have ten, so that’s one hundred dollars yeah? But I need ten more to make a decent bunch, so here’s,” she said as she dug into her pocket, “two hundred dollars.”
She handed the money to the officer who was, by that time, laughing. “This is daylight robbery, no one wants these flowers anyway, so it should not be a crime to take them. Yet imagine the chaos if everyone stopped to pick them?”
“You must really want these flowers bad!” he said smiling at her.
“Yes I love them, they’re not hybridized or any of it, just beautiful wild flowers.”
She smiled at the officer who then said, “What the hell,” and he started picking them too, and smiled to her and said, “Pay for twenty get ten free, can’t ask for a better deal than that.”
He’d never really run into anyone quite like her and her accent was pretty different, not British, but not European either, “So where are you from then?”
“Me? I’m from New Zealand, also known as a Kiwi.”
“Oh the Land Down Under?” he said chuckling again.
Kodi looked up at him and said, “No, that’s Australia, New Zealand is the Land Down Under the Land Down Under.”
“Beautiful, articulate and funny, a little like my wife,” he said to himself quietly.
She’d looked at his nametag, Damien. “Ooh that’s kind of Omen-ish.”
In the end the officer couldn’t bear the thought of taking money from someone who cared so much about wildflowers, being a Greenie himself, he wished more people appreciated the simple beauty of the world around them. But no, he watched it all the time, people throwing rubbish out of their car windows into the wildflowers in the grade, no care, thought or appreciation for what occurred in the world as a natural course of events.
Some people might think the girl weird, but Damien was used to being around what people did not consider the norm, his younger brother was gay for a kick off. Then there was his father who’d been kicked off the force for taking bribes, for aiding in the murder of that baby killer, “What was his name again?” he asked himself as he stood there staring at the girl in the grade amongst the flowers.
But people had cut his family a break and they had never gone without a single thing, despite the fact that his father had never worked another day in his life. He thought of that as he said to her, “No little lady, here’s your money and you keep the flowers, just don’t let me see you here again ya hear?”
Kodi had thanked him and watched him go on his way surprised by his kindness, and what had her friend said about average Americans? “Oh yes that’s it, they are all ugly and facetiously arrogant.”
Kodi had laughed to herself and then felt a little sad, “Well Voh, you always could make me laugh,” and then she had driven off home. “I wonder if there are coppers this far out of town Harry?” she asked her cat. Harry ignored her and proceeded to chase a butterfly. For an ungrateful lazy lump of a feline he surprisingly possessed the grace of a ballerina as he tiptoed behind the butterfly.
“Well at least the sky doesn’t look too dark today so no fear of us wandering off and getting lost in another storm eh Harry?”
But Harry was too busy chasing a butterfly through the flowers to care too much about storms. Every time the butterfly landed on another flower, Harry sprung into action trying to pounce on the butterfly with as much graceful gusto as a lion would use to pounce on an antelope. Every time he missed and the butterfly flew higher into the air, Harry would leap up into the air about three or four feet. Every time he executed the manoeuvre Kodi saw the way his muscles in his legs flexed beneath his shiny black coat. She was impressed at God’s creation of cats, “But did you have to make them so shallow?” she asked as she watched Harry continue on in the pursuit of his prey.
Then she caught a movement in her peripheral vision, and she looked to her left and there he stood, “Picking flowers I see?”
She looked at the man, he sure was cute, and as if to read her mind he looked down to the ground, and she couldn’t be sure, but he may have been blushing. When he looked back up at her he was smiling. “So what’s your name?”
Kodi looked around her nervously, “Kodi.”
“Kodi, pretty name.”
“That’s not what the last guy who asked me said, he said he had a horse named Kodi.”
Troy had a chuckle to himself that Heathcliff, his wiser older brother, would say something so stupid, telling some girl he was trying to impress that he had a horse with the same name as her, “Ah but he wasn’t trying to impress her was he? No he’s trying to drive her away, well maybe not now, but he was.”
“I’m sorry, did you say something?” she asked staring straight at him again.
“Ah, no, just reminding myself not to forget something I have to do. Are you feeling better since your fall from the tree?”
“I am feeling much better thank you,” she said gazing intently at him.
As she walked further through the wild flowers he noticed she was limping, just as she had been when he went into her dream. So it is a new injury, how could that have happened? Perhaps when she fell out of the tree she was hurt? I don’t remember her limping on her way to the tree, perhaps she was but I just didn’t notice?”

He was puzzled but decided to question her further anyway. “You hurt yourself?”
She looked at him and blushed slightly, “Yup, I cut myself on some glass under the trees at Heathcliff’s house a few nights back, Heathcliff he lives over…”
“I dreamed of you last night, how weird, and here you are…again. My brain must really be going into overdrive.”
Troy cut her off, “I know Heathcliff, so um… you were over there?” “Okay so I already know all of this from mother, but hey, let’s see exactly what she remembers and what pieces Heathcliff may have neglected to tell anyone.”
“I was hot so I ah…I…well snuck into his pool to swim, I thought he was out, and he was, but he came back unexpectedly. Well, I didn’t know he’d come back until I cut myself and he found me under the trees. He fixed my foot and then I…well I lost my keys and…um…you don’t want to hear this right?”
“To the contrary please, continue, what happened when you lost your keys?”
“He took me back to his place and I spent the night there…by the way, what’s your name?”
“If I’m going to keep imagining you I might as well at least have a name for you.”
“Troy.”
“Okay well Troy is definitely not a name I’d give to an imaginary friend at all. I don’t even like that name, why didn’t my imaginary friend choose a name I’d like?”
She suddenly noticed Troy was staring at her waiting for her to answer him but she’d forgotten the question.
“She’s forgotten the question,” he thought to himself.
“You lost your keys and…?” he said to help her regain her train of thought.
“Oh yeah, Heathcliff, well I didn’t spend the night with him…well with him in his house but not, well, you know?”
Troy ran his hand through his dark hair and then marvelled at the fact that the stoic stubborn Heathcliff had melted and taken care of Kodi. Things were definitely looking up. “Well the sly boy didn’t tell ANYONE she stayed there all night, he’s definitely keeping secrets that brother of mine. Then there’s him not cutting his hair, and yesterday he was pretty good with her too.”
“So, um where do you live, somewhere around here?” she asked.
“Yes I live around here, not too far from here actually. You like those flowers don’t you?” he asked changing the subject because if he was fading in and out, then he knew she may not even be able to see his house across the way.
“Yes I have always liked these flowers, the colours are so amazing, so rich, I wish they could make paints as good as these colours.”
“You like to paint?”
“Sort of, I like playing around with the texture, you know putting sand in the paint, very fine stone and things like that. But I can’t draw, I have tried, but I end up having to trace anything I want to paint.”
“I too like to paint and like you I can not draw to save myself, and sometimes I like to put designs on the furniture I make and I ah, I get my friend Kaleb to draw them for me. Kaleb is a very good sketch artist, just in case you ever need one,” said Troy, smiling.
“You make furniture?” she asked smiling at him while at the same time some memory began to stir inside her head, like it was awakening from a deep sleep, something to do with a crib. Kodi smiled back at him, shook her head and then turned to look at what Harry was doing.
“Okay, so what’s going on? She looks unnerved, like she’s scared, what’s going on with you Kodi Madison? I’ve quit wearing the aftershave so what’s doing it now?” he thought as he stood there watching her.
Then for no reason whatsoever, Kodi began to feel as though she couldn’t breathe, her head began to get very woozy. She sat down quickly before everything warped and she fell down. Harry stopped chasing butterflies and ran to her and sat there mooching her on the leg. Once her head started to feel better she looked up to make her apologies to Troy, but he was no longer there. “Oh no Harry, I’m seeing things again.”
“You’re okay Kodi, nothing bad is going to happen to you, you’re safe, do you hear me Kodi? I will take care of you,” he said as he realised that she could no longer see or hear him.
She got up off the grass, walked to the driveway and then put her hand to her stomach, her brain was trying to tell her something but she didn’t know what. Then she remembered feeling a kind of warmth upon her stomach, but she didn’t know where from, when or how. So she began walking back toward her house, but then she turned back around to stare across the road. And that’s when she saw it again, a huge two-storied house. It was white in colour and looked one of the plantation houses off Roots, and it took her mind from the stirring awakening memory, plunging it to the depths of her subconscious again.
“Oh man Harry can you see what I see?”
Kodi was relieved the cat made no reply because a talking cat would have truly been the last straw. “I’m seeing people who aren’t there, houses that aren’t there, what’s going to be next I wonder?”
Kodi turned back toward her house and walked all the way up the driveway.
Once she got to her house she went inside and sat down for ten minutes just concentrating on her breathing. Then she got up to get herself a cold drink, and as she stood there at the bench she began to feel a little funny again so she went outside and sat on the swing seat. But nothing was helping to make her feel better and she had started to feel a little woozy again and by that time she’d had enough.
She climbed into the paddock with Harry in hot pursuit and she started screaming, “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? HUH? ISN’T IT ENOUGH I’M TOTALLY MISERABLE?”
She collapsed onto the ground in the long grass and she yelled some more, yelling and yelling until her throat was almost hoarse, and then she still had more to scream about.
“He likes you Sally he really likes you. WHO the HELL is SALLY? Oh, OH and ME the GREAT WRITER, the GOOD FRIEND of VOH…VOH, DO YOU HEAR ME?”
Kodi stumbled wildly about the paddock and became entangled in the long grass and fell, which only served to make her angrier, “HE LIKES YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU,” she drew a deep breath and screamed, SAAALLY!”
She yelled about her crappy childhood, her selfish dead sister, “Yeah my DEAD sister, couldn’t wait until I got to have MY SAY RIGHT? No YOU have to take her away so SHE got the last word there too. And what about Voh? You had to take him away too, what YOU can’t stand the idea of me being happy either? And what about that… that … TOSS POT,” she screamed as she pointed toward Heathcliff’s house, “ that PRAT living in the house over the fence there, well? WHAT’S HIS STORY? You seem to have a thing for leading me to men who are unavailable or simply own split personalities. WHY DO YOU HATE ME? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?”
Kodi just lay down in the long grass and refused to move, she felt angry, sad, frustrated and hopelessly lost, and she didn’t know how much more she could take. Then she began to feel really bad about all the things she’d screamed at God, and then she remembered what a Sunday school teacher once told her, “God has huge shoulders, He can take it.”
Kodi lay there for about another few minutes just quietly sobbing and wondering if anything was ever going to be the same again? Why was she slowly going crazy, was her conscience catching up with her over something she should have done but didn’t, or did do but shouldn’t have?
Should she have tried harder with Marli, with Voh? Was everything that ever happened to her directly in her control? She didn’t know anything any more.
Kodi went to bed early because the day had been heavy going for her. She drifted off to sleep easily relieved to no longer be struggling with the image of her imaginary friend Troy.
Soon she became aware that she couldn’t move her arms or her legs, and she tried to speak but something was constricting her throat and she began to panic. “What’s wrong with me, what has happened?”
She was able to see shadows in her peripheral vision, and she could hear voices but they were muffled. Then she saw him standing against the wall, the same man she saw in the kitchen on the day of Marli’s funeral and he was staring straight back at her.
He had dark hair and his eyes were so brown they were almost black, but they didn’t look cruel or mean, they actually looked kind. She wanted to question him, to ask him who he was and what did he want with her, and she could sense that he was speaking to her, but she could not make out what he was saying.
Then she began to tell herself to wake up, but the shadow beside her in her left peripheral vision began to take on form, it was a nurse, no it wasn’t a nurse. Who was it?
Then she saw the glass windows in her peripheral vision to her right, and there were many chairs outside the window. People sat in those chairs like an audience would sit in a theatre waiting for a show to start. She saw all her friends sitting in those chairs, Chas, Eddie, John, Gary, Rose, Faith, Katie, Marcia, Toby, even Duncan, Miles, Tricia and Kalpana from the office, and they were all staring at her with the most vicious hateful looks in their eyes. Chas mouthed the words, “DIE BITCH!”
“Where’s Ruby?” but Chas could not hear her.
Kodi averted her gaze back to the person who looked like a nurse, and all she heard was…muffled garbled sound. Then she saw the four giant syringes against the wall, the first one had depressed already and the second one was depressing as she watched it. When she looked to the man standing against the wall she recognized him; it was her imaginary friend Troy.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, but then she realized her voice was simply sounding in her head and he could not hear her. Those syringes she’d seen something like that before, but where?
“Think, think, think,” she pleaded with herself, “of course the Life of David Gale? No, no, it wasn’t that movie, but Kate Winslet, oh my gosh was she good in it the way she acted so frightened when the guy snuck into the house to get her, she’d screamed, “FUCK, fuck,” in a flood of tears and fright that was just so believable. And Judas was a prissy dresser, price of freedom, 30 pieces of silver, and she did it to herself, SHE DID IT TO HERSELF!
Think Kodi think! Where have you seen this before? Was that my voice or someone else’s? And what was that movie, who was it? I Am Sam, but who was Sam? Sean… Connery? Anyone got a pen? Penn! It was Sean Penn, Penny Lane; I’ve always loved that song, by the Bugs, the Beetle Bugs, no that was a car Kodi. Dead something, and the mouse, Del’s mouse Mr. Bo jangles? That’s not right, that was Nina and she wasn’t on the mile, the mile high club? No Mr. Jangles, no Jingles, Mr. Jingles and he was going to live in Mouse Ville, in Mouse City, and join the mile high club, you know a penny lane for the kids? Oh my brain is fried.
John drank coffee, decaf, Voh drank decaf…Coffee, JOHN COFFEE (like the drink Mam only not spelled the same) saved Mr. Jingles, he blew into his hands and he came to life. What was that song, Percy Whitmore, something, something, hear him squishing in his pants. He didn’t wet the sponge, Brutal, Brutal, what in the name of Christmas was that? Or did he ask what in the blue fuck was that? I don’t remember, Moon pies, yes Moon pies, he chewed it up and he spat it in his face, oh my that was so funny.
Moon landing, I can’t believe you thought they went there Voh, WHY I OTTA! No, no Kodi concentrate, David Gale? No NOT David Gale, Sean Penn, in the flicker show, Fred Astaire in Dead Poet’s something? No Dead man doing something, what was he doing? Was in the corner messing with go-cart Mozart, no NO KODI THINK!
Oh Brutal help me to remember, what was the Dead man doing on the Green Mile, what was Sean Penn doing on the green mile, My Mile, you’re cluttering up my mile, but what was he doing Tom? He was walking, yes Sean Penn was walking, he was a …oh God no, he was a dead man walking!”
Panic seized Kodi because it finally made sense, being strapped down, being unable to move or speak, she realized in horror that she was being executed by the State in which she lived, but why? She begged herself to wake up, “It’s just a dream Kodi, it’s just a dream, just like the blonde man and the firewall, this isn’t real.”
The last thing she heard crystal clear as it broke in over the top of her own voice, “…i Madison, you have been sentenced to death by lethal injection, may God have mercy on your soul.”
She felt the chemicals in the second syringe shoot coldly into her vein, and just as she was about to surrender to the darkness, she awoke.
Her breathing was extremely laboured because she’d had one hell of a fright, and the dream had seemed so real that she didn’t want to try to sleep anymore. “David Gale and The Green Mile, I’m NEVER watching those again, EVER!
She got up and limped out to the kitchen to make coffee, “Oh Harry, John Coffee and Sean Penn, my brain is truly turning into spaghetti.”
Harry mooched her leg purring and so she rewarded him with Biscats. She took her coffee and went and sat on the porch swing and just stared up at the stars in the sky. Now she knew how someone on death row must feel being systematically strapped down to a gurney and knowing they were going to kill him or her. The horror, a shiver ran up Kodi’s spine, and then she wondered why she would dream something so horrible? Was it because she was opposed to the death penalty?
“So why did I move to a country that supports killing killers to teach killers that killing is wrong?”
Kodi believed the taking of life, any life for any reason, to be wrong. No matter what the person had done, it just added to the already huge pile of wreckage to her mind. Could this country not see the lunacy of killing the person who commits those kinds of crimes, crimes punishable by death? “It’s an easy out for them, well actually it’s not an easy out, there is nothing easy about knowing you are going to die and being absolutely powerless to fight it.”
Troy watched her get up from the grass looking for him. As he followed her through the flowers and up onto the driveway he saw her put her hand upon her stomach and then shake her head.
“Yes, it’s sitting just below the surface of your mind, you must try to remember it Kodi, remember what happened,” said Troy as he stood there still watching over her.
And he followed her as she limped up the driveway with Harry in hot pursuit. Troy witnessed her stop and stare across the road behind her again and then he heard her talking to Harry about his house, although she did not know it was Troy’s house. Then he heard her complaining bitterly about her mind, her memory and her imagination. Once she got to the house she went inside, so seeing that she was safe, Troy decided to scoot over the paddock to go and pay a visit to Heathcliff.
He crossed the lawn over to the porch and walked through the open glass door, “Heathcliff, you here?” he called out softly.
“In here Troy,” called Heathcliff as he came out of his bedroom, “just settled Alexi down. Mother had her overnight and I just got back from there with her. What are you doing here, cold drink?”
“Just came for a visit, was in the area,” he said lamely.
“You live in the area, across the road in fact, so what have you really been up to?” he asked staring at his little brother. Heathcliff highly suspected that his little brother was in fact on some covert mission sanctioned by their ever- loving mother, but he soon discovered he was wrong.
“Just been watching over your little neighbour,” said Troy.
“Oh,” said Heathcliff rather taken by surprise by his brother’s answer, “well that will certainly keep you busy won’t it, full time job that one. And here I was thinking you were on a snooping expedition for mother.”
“Actually I did hear from her that you had a visitor a few nights back? Yes a cold drink would be great. That’s not why I’m here, well not at mother’s bidding anyway, but I’d be a liar if I told you I am not curious as to what went on here when she stayed. And I know you didn’t tell mother she stayed all night, so do we have something to hide big brother?”
Heathcliff walked into the kitchen to get the drinks as the conversation continued on toward the place he knew Troy wouldn’t be able to resist taking it.
“He’ll be asking if I slept with her soon, I just know it! Well he won’t ask outright, he’ll allude to it though, sneaky thing,” he quietly said to himself, “as if I’d do something like that anyway?”
“So how was it then?” asked Troy eager to hear what his brother had to say.
“Little Miss Kodi from across the way snuck into my pool, but I suspect you know that part already.”
“You knew she’d been in the pool?” asked Troy still lying through his teeth, sort of.
“Saw her, naked as the day she was born,” called Heathcliff from the kitchen as he poured the cold drinks and then came back out to the lounge.
“No way, Kodi?”
Troy was surprised to hear Kodi had swum naked in any pool let alone Heathcliff’s. “And Mother left that part out, maybe she didn’t know?” he thought to himself.
“Oh yeah, bold as brass swimming in the pool and then she climbed out,” he said as he and Troy made their way out to the swing seat on the porch.
“So what did you do?” Troy asked as he made himself comfortable, “by the way your sunflowers are looking good.”
“Like I told mother, I did what any other hot blooded man would do Troy, I stood there and admired the view. And speaking of views you keep your eyes off my flowers, if you want more seeds all you have to do is ask and I will get some for you.”
“I can pick sunflowers as good as any other man,” Troy said, “ and you told mother about her being naked in your pool? Phew, what did she say?”
Heathcliff passed Troy his cold drink from the table beside the seat and said, “She laughed, and as for you being able to pick sunflowers as good as any other man, well I disagree. Most men can’t pick them the right way, and hardly any men at all know how to pick them without crushing the smaller ones with their size ten hoofs.”
“Mother laughed at that? And my feet aren’t tens, they’re elevens,” said Troy.
“Skite,” said Heathcliff, “and I don’t know why you’re surprised, is there anything mother doesn’t find humour in?”
Troy shook his head as he smiled and observed, “No, there is very little mother can’t find humour in. Just because you have smaller feet than me doesn’t make you a better flower picker. So, no Mozart for the wee girl today?”
“I can’t hear her from here if she cries when I have the stereo going, and my feet are the same size as yours Troy.”
“But you’re not going to change your life for the mini human who has invaded your home? Famous last words. And I haven’t been into your flower garden for months,” Troy chuckled.
“Famous last words indeed, and if it wasn’t you then who crushed the flowers?”
“So, you ah…liked the view then? Perhaps it was her?” said Troy tentatively, and then he silently questioned the wisdom of pointing the finger toward Kodi. “It certainly won’t help to endear her any more to Heathcliff if he thinks she did it, stupid Troy, think before you say things,” he thought to himself as he sat there.
“My body liked the view, but me? I was just annoyed, and why in the world would she want to crush my flowers?” “Why is he suddenly deflecting the blame for that onto her? He knows it won’t make me like her any more, if anything he risks making me push her further away. Maybe he’s just not thinking straight today, or maybe (judging from the look on his face) he is kicking himself as we speak?” Heathcliff thought.
“So she got to you then? You were mean to her, maybe she took it out on your flowers?” Troy said with a smirk. “Can it already with the flowers Troy!”
“You would have reacted the same way if some women raised herself out of your pool completely naked too Troy, it was nothing special. And anyway she’s keeping everyone busy with her antics, getting lost in storms, climbing trees for reasons I don’t even want to talk about, and venturing back there even in her sleep. Yeah Saul told me about it, and maybe it was her that crushed my flowers?” “Perhaps he really does think she did it? But it still makes no sense for him to say so.”
“I know, it was really weird because Ruby actually needed me and if not for Kodi going there, I would never have known. But weirder than that Heathcliff, and I haven’t told anyone this, but she remembered him approaching her that afternoon before it happened. So you will apologise for accusing me of crushing your flowers?”
“What?” asked Heathcliff shocked.
“Apologise for accusing me of crushing your flowers,” Troy repeated.
“No, the other part,” said Heathcliff.
“Yeah, she told me she remembered him getting out of a yellow cab outside the apartment. She said he approached her out the front and spoke to her, problem is that she doesn’t recall what he said with any clarity. I don’t know, maybe it’s better this way considering the circumstances?”
“So she did okay everything, that’s irony at its best,” he said disgustedly.
“How do you know she okayed things?” asked Troy.
“I’m taking a wild guess because if he talked to her as she suggested he did, then he thought he was speaking to the other one not her. He would have just been making sure it was all still a go, think about it Troy if he’d even suspected he may have spoken to the wrong twin he would have run. There’s no way he would have gone through with it.”
“This whole situation is so different to anything I’ve ever been involved in before, so complex. I don’t think he did want to go through with it in the end Heathcliff, I mean he just stood there in the room like he was in a daze,” said Troy.
“She couldn’t have done it without him so it makes no difference what he did or didn’t do once he got there Troy. Point is he stood there doing nothing to stop it while that murdering woman plunged that…”
“I KNOW, I WAS THERE!” said Troy momentarily upset by the stroll down memory lane that Heathcliff seemed intent in taking him on.
“I’m sorry Troy,” said Heathcliff as he gently touched his little brother’s arm, “I’m sorry. I forget how terrible it is for you too, having to stand there unable to do anything. You are so much stronger than I am; it would have been devastating to have to watch what you saw. Makes your stomach turn and your blood boil doesn’t it? The way they just destroy each other with no real deep thought to how it effects anyone else.”
Heathcliff kicked out at one of Lenore’s cat toys on the ground and sent it crashing into the side of the birdbath. Heathcliff then continued, “I remember when she was just a little girl how I used to watch over her. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone hurting her and I used to think that if…” Heathcliff trailed off and was glad of the birds chirping in the trees to fill in the awkward silence.
Troy tried to shake the images and the sounds from his head as he wiped away the tears that threatened to spill down his face.
“How do you know that she was stabbed like that Heathcliff, and don’t lie to me,” said Troy quietly.
“You’ve seen her Troy, the wounds are visible to everyone who sees her,” said Heathcliff lying through his teeth.
“You articulate the horror too precisely and emotively for someone who got the information second hand.” Troy paused for a minute and then added, “And since when did you start lying to me?”
“Are you accusing me of something Troy?”
“I’m not sure Heathcliff, I haven’t made my up mind as to whether I’m accusing you of anything or not.” “Did he follow me the day it happened, was he there? Surely I would have seen him if he were there? But then again maybe not, I was too focussed on her and the little one to have noticed much of anything else,” Troy thought to himself, “And why would he anyway?”
“Well when you do just cut to the chase ok?” said Heathcliff. “And anyway did you speak to her about her tree climbing antics?”
“Yes I did and I don’t think there will be any more troubles along those lines, I think she took what I had to say to her to heart.”
“Such a mess, this whole thing, really messy. In some aspects it has reminded me of Annie, I mean it’s not the same, but it has an air of familiarity about it, Troy.”
“It’s just fear Heathcliff, your fear, this situation is nothing like Annie, there was always something not right there, the way she spoke to you, the way she treated you, sometimes I had trouble believing that she loved you at all.”
“Steady on Troy, I loved that woman, I believe she loved me, I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that about Annie again, I mean it.” Heathcliff was visibly upset at what Troy had asserted, and Troy thought it would be well for both of them if he steered the conversation away from Annie.
“So anyway, onto more pleasant subjects, women in the here and now,” said Troy quietly.
“Ah yes women in the here and now, say women such as Ruby,” said Heathcliff staring at his brother as he drained his glass.
Troy took a deep breath and asked, “But don’t you miss it Heathcliff, I mean you know, being with a woman?”
“Mostly I don’t think about it Troy, what’s the point if all she’s going to do is crush my sunflowers?” he asked smiling attempting to make his brother smile.
“So you weren’t even tempted? And I guess that was an apology sort of?”
“The other night? No. No I wasn’t, and yes that was as close to an apology as you’re going to get me on the flowers.”
Troy thought he detected that shake in Heathcliff’s voice, the slight shake that rears its ugly head every time he wasn’t being completely truthful. “Oh how well I know you my brother,” Troy thought to himself.
Then he said, “But I KNOW she stayed here all night Heathcliff, you had her in the house all night and you want me to believe that you weren’t tempted? And you didn’t tell mother or Saul or anyone that you had her here all night. I mean why hide that Heathcliff? By the way, apology accepted.”
“The highlight of her stay was when she vomited all over herself and my bed. So, were you tempted by Ruby?” he asked smiling at his little brother.
“Well of course I was, she even came on to me, and not just a little, a lot!”
“Whoa, what did you do?” asked Heathcliff perked up a little by the prospect that his brother may finally have gone where no Troy had ever gone before.
“I had the normal biological reaction to a beautiful woman, doesn’t mean I did anything, but at least I spoke to her. I suppose you let the poor girl sit here in silence? And anyway, how did she come to end up staying here all night?” asked Troy. He knew it was kind of deceitful to question him about something he already knew the answers to, but maybe Kodi wasn’t remembering it quite the way it happened?
“Don’t deflect that kind of conversation back on to me brother, so did you or didn’t you? I mean you know you’re going to be with her anyway, so you know?” asked Heathcliff.
“I did nothing except tell her I wanted to wait for her.”
“And what did she say?” asked Heathcliff curious to hear what wild little Ruby’s reaction to Troy’s temporary rejection would have been.
“She slapped me.”
“She slapped you?” said Heathcliff laughing.
“Yeah, it hurt too, and then she started to cry so I just held her. Anyway, back to why your adorable little neighbour stayed all night with you?”
“Oh nothing romantic or secretive with Kodi, she simply couldn’t find her keys.”
“What she lost them or she couldn’t find them?” asked Troy. “He used the word romantic in the same sentence as he used her name, things are looking up.”
“You know how it goes Troy, they were there in her pocket, but she couldn’t find them, her drifting in and out is becoming a little more pronounced. She saw herself in my mirror in the bathroom too.” “Damn you’re slipping Heathcliff, you used the word romantic and Kodi in the same sentence! Maybe he didn’t pick up on it? No, look at his face, he picked up on it alright.”
“Yeah I noticed she’s seeing a bit more, that dream was weird that’s for sure.” Troy rattled the ice cubes in his glass and said, “She saw herself in the mirror, what happened?” “He’s trying to appear cool, calm and collected, but he’s not fooling me for a second, he has feelings for her.”
“She got a hell of a shock is what happened and then she passed out and hit her head on the floor when she landed.” “I wonder what he’s thinking because he sure is staring at me funny.”
“Does she remember it?” asked Troy as he watched his brother twiddling a fibber off the chair in his fingers, he could tell he was nervous and uncomfortable.
“Oh yeah, but when she asked me in the morning I denied it, thought it was probably best at this point, she’s not ready. But she remembered all of it with remarkable clarity actually, so I think maybe she might make it, but who knows right? We thought that about Annie and look where that got us!”
“I saw her picking wild flowers earlier so I went over to see if she could see me.” Troy tried to keep the conversation about Kodi going along.
“And did she?” Heathcliff asked staring straight at his brother dropping the fibre to the ground in what Troy viewed as a good sign.
“Not at first no, I think I was there maybe ten minutes before she saw me, but we conversed for about five minutes before I faded out on her again.”
“What did you talk about?”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t care Troy, I’m just making conversation.”
“She told me she was here that night. You know Heathcliff, I can’t believe you told her about having a horse with her name. Not a smooth move brother, couldn’t you have come up with something a little more original than that?”
“I DID have a horse named Kodi, father gave it to me when I was three, you were still hanging off mother’s breast I believe and that’s probably why you don’t remember it.” It was Heathcliff’s turn to smirk.
“Did you have to say that?” asked Troy extremely embarrassed.
“I have to make my digs at you when they present themselves Troy, besides you’re always taking the free shots at my name.”
“Did you really have a horse named Kodi?”
“No I didn’t have a horse named Kodi.”
“I knew it!” said Troy smiling.
“It was a pony, a pony Troy. Do you honestly think for one second that mother would have allowed father to give a three-year old child a horse?”
Troy made no reply to Heathcliff and they both sat there in silence for a while when Troy decided to tell Heathcliff about the other thing that had happened with Kodi earlier that day. “Oh yeah and something else weird happened while I was with her today, after I faded out on her,” said Troy.
“What?” asked Heathcliff staring at him.
“She put her hand on her stomach, it was as though she knew something was missing, you know, like she thought there should be something there?”
“Do you think maybe she’s getting her memory back?” asked Heathcliff.
“I honestly don’t know, but there’s definitely something going on with her in that department. All I know is that…”
“I don’t really want her remembering that at this point, it’s too soon, and you know what’s going to happen the second she remembers don’t you Troy?”
“Yeah, she’s going to want it back…and…”
“I will have to keep her from it and that will mess up everything completely, so maybe you need to get in there more and see what’s going on for sure?” said Heathcliff.
“It should be you…”
“No, you’re the right person Troy, I have enough on my plate,” said Heathcliff hoping Troy would not pick up on the fact that he was, yet again, keeping secrets from his brother.
“It should be you Heathcliff and don’t play the game of not caring about her with me, I know you care because you followed me back that second time just to get a look at her. If you didn’t care then why would you bother? This is all so confusing, for everyone.”
There was an awkward lull in the conversation and that’s when they heard it, screaming, yelling and cussing coming from the direction of the paddock between Heathcliff and Kodi’s house.
“Okay what in the world was that?” asked Heathcliff standing to his feet at the same moment as Troy leapt to his.
“Doesn’t sound good whatever it is,” said Troy.
The brothers got across the porch and onto the lawn at speed and Heathcliff thought that he had better get a hold of Albion before he went racing off again. Albion barked and raced toward the fence, “ALBION HEEL!” commanded Heathcliff to his dog, and Albion obediently ran back to his master’s side. By that time both Troy and Heathcliff were walking across the lawn toward the tree line. As they approached nearer to the fence they could hear with much more clarity what Kodi was screaming out at the sky.
“Okay she’s really mad about something,” said Troy.
“Maybe it’s just frustration? Perhaps we should just leave her to it Troy?” Heathcliff looked to Troy and saw that Troy was not convinced that that was what they should do.
“Oh my gosh what is she doing and who’s Sally?” asked a worried Troy.
“I never heard of Sally, but she’s throwing a tantrum by the looks of things…did you hear that?” Heathcliff asked with a smirk, “she called you an unmentionable name?”
Heathcliff and Troy both laughed knowing who she was really talking about.
“Do you think we should go over there and make sure she’s okay?”
“We do not need to go over there to ascertain that Troy, she’s clearly not okay.”
“So what do we do?”
“I don’t know, stand here and enjoy the show?” suggested Heathcliff trying to sound nonchalant and doing a bad job of pulling it off in the opinion of his younger brother.
“Who’s she screaming at, God?” asked Troy.
“I should say so,” Heathcliff was glued to the scene in the paddock.
“Whoa what’s this sticking up out of the ground?” asked Troy as he crouched down to take a closer look at the sharp object protruding from out of the dirt and leaves under the tree line.
“Oh, I think that’s what she cut herself on…she’s laying down in the grass now…I think sobbing, but it’s hard to tell from here.”
“I meant to talk to you about that, she hurt herself here, that’s a good sign Heathcliff, maybe she’s going to…”

“Don’t Troy, just don’t okay? Please if you love me, and you respect me then don’t. I think I’m going to go over and just make sure she’s okay, she’s been lying there not moving for a few…oh hang on here she goes, ah nope we’re on the ground again.”
“I’m going to dig this out, it’s dangerous, next thing you know Albion or Tay will be stepping on it.”
Troy looked up to Heathcliff only to discover he was already a quarter of the way across the paddock despite thinking she was okay, and he was relieved to see him go to her, but then he saw Kodi get up and limp toward her house.
“Damn it Kodi don’t you ever know when to stay put?” he said frustrated that the attempt to get Heathcliff to interact with her had been lost. Heathcliff watched her for a few moments and then headed back toward Troy.
“Well that’s that then, show’s over,” Heathcliff said as he jumped the fence back into his property.
“I wonder who Sally is? I mean she was really screaming about her,” said Troy.
“I have to say I haven’t run into a Sally, but I suppose you could ask Ruby if she sees you again, maybe she’ll know?” suggested Heathcliff.
“Whoever she is, she sure upset Kodi.”
“She sure is mad at me too, and I didn’t mean to make her mad, just wanted to make her stay away. I don’t need her turning up here at the wrong time Troy.”
“She probably won’t even remember it Heathcliff.”
Troy set out on his way home from Heathcliff’s and as he did he remembered that night with Ruby, the night Kodi led him to her when she was in need of watching. As he crossed the road and walked up his driveway, he got the impression Ruby needed him again.
“It’s okay I’m coming to you,” he said to himself as he reached his own porch, sat down and closed his eyes.

Ruby was sitting in the lounge of her house watching television when suddenly an image on the screen caused her to freeze, it was a red screen with a mother crying, and the logo was something to do with drinking and driving. But it was the image of the boy lying in a pool of blood on the side of the road that frightened Ruby. Ruby’s mind very quickly spun right back to that night when she was ten. The good Reverend Cagill had just left his daughter’s bedroom and she was sitting on the floor crying. She was bloodied and bruised and all she could do was stare at him. He had dark hair and brown eyes and he just stood there staring at her, and she asked, “Why did you just stand there? Why didn’t you stop him?”
Then the door to her bedroom had been slowly opened and there stood her older brother Chas, and still the dark haired man stood there just staring at her.
“Can you see him Chas?”
“Ruby,” he said as he sat down on the floor and held his sister while she cried.
“Chas can you see him over there by the window?” asked Ruby through her tears.
“Who?” asked Chas as he stared toward the window, “I don’t see anything.”
“He’s over there, he has dark hair, you must be able to see him Chas.”
“Ruby go and hide in the shed outside and I’ll be there in a minute,” ordered Chas.
“What about dad, he might see me and then he’ll…”
“Don’t worry Ruby, he’s passed out, just go,” ordered Chas with even more desperation in his voice.
“What about you?” she asked.
“I’ll be fine, you just go while you still can.”
So Ruby had crept through the house outside and into the shed and she had awaited Chas’ arrival, but he had never come.
Once Ruby was safely out of the house he went back into the room and he looked toward the window in Ruby’s room and he said, “Why do you bother? Why do you bother coming here to watch over us if you’re not even going to do anything to stop him? WELL?” Chas screamed at the man.
“I cannot stop him Chas, it is not allowed. Besides, I’m not here for Ruby today, I am here for you.”
“What? I don’t need your help, Ruby needed it, and YOU FAILED HER. Don’t bother coming here if you are just going to stand there and do nothing to help her. WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULDN’T COME WITH YOU THAT DAY?” screamed Chas.
The man shook his head sadly, and began to speak to Chas, but Chas cut him off, “I stayed here to take care of her because I KNEW YOU COULDN’T!”
And the man stood there still as Chas was felled to the ground with the bottle that the good Reverend Cagill hit him over the head with. The Reverend then proceeded to kick Chas while he was still unconscious and he screamed obscenities at the boy, swearing and saying, “God curses you, I curse you for what you are, you faggot, you dirty stinking sinful piece of human garbage.”
The Reverend then grabbed Chas by his hair, lifting his head from the floor and he said, “I can’t have fathered you, no son of mine would turn into such a pervert.”
Then he spat in Chas’ face and released him allowing his head to smash down onto the wooden floor.
“And you call yourself a man of God, you are a poor deluded fool of a man,” said the dark haired man by the window.
The Reverend did not see or hear anything except the gurgling of his son laying on the floor bleeding.
Ruby had heard the commotion from the shed and had run back into the house to see if Chas was all right, and when she ran into her room where she had left Chas, she saw him lying on the floor in a pool of blood. The man with the dark hair was no longer there.
Ruby sat there on the couch shaking and suddenly feeling really strung out and she said to herself, “I need something.”
She walked across the room to the bench where she had left her purse and she pulled out the little plastic bag, and seeing it was empty, she tipped the entire contents of her purse onto the bench top. But she knew she was acting in vain, she had nothing, “Shit, shit, shit,” she said as she burst into a fresh bout of tears, “I’m going to have to go and see George. I wonder if he’ll help me? I have a huge debt, I owe him more money than I can ever pay, but he’s got to help me.”
Ruby staggered out of the house and began the long walk to the Papadopolis brother’s bar. During part of the walk she had to cross a railway line and for a few moments she stood there toying with the idea of throwing herself in front of a train. She was shaking because she was cold, yet she was sweating profusely and then she started vomiting, and all she wanted was for her pathetic existence to be over. “No more of this, no more memories of suffering, no more needing drugs, no more worry for my brother. It would have been better that I had not been born at all.”
But somewhere in the midst of her confusion and sickness she heard a soft still voice saying, “It’s okay Ruby I’m coming to you.”
She had no idea where the voice had come from, only that she needed to listen to it because it was a voice of hope, of help, and so she continued onward in her journey to the bar.
Ruby staggered into the bar for the second time in one week, and she was really strung out, “George will help me, I know he will,” she was thinking in her pickled mind.
“Oh no, it’s her again,’ said the woman tending bar, “George will not be amused at this,” she said as she watched the blonde staggering across the bar in the direction of the table at the back where George was sitting with some of his colleagues. The woman could smell the vomit from where she was standing and she could see the girl was even more emaciated, if that was at all possible. “She’d put Twiggy to shame! How can a human body endure all that abuse and still continue to exist? But that’s all she does though, exists from one hit to the next,” she said to herself quietly.
She stared at the girl as she staggered toward the dance floor, her straggly blonde hair oily and congealed at the roots making it glue to her skull like old oatmeal on carpet. She shuddered in relief that she herself had kicked the habit years ago, and that it was that girl, and not her, existing like that.
Ruby stared over toward the back of the bar and she thought she saw Troy, “It can’t be Troy, what would Troy be doing here again? And why isn’t Kodi with him this time? I really have to stop this; maybe I can stop after tonight? Nothing like being able to delude myself when I’m strung out.”
Ruby began to hesitate a little the closer she got to George, but her desire to get what she had come for was stronger than her need to remove herself from what may potentially be a life threatening encounter.
George looked up from his cards and saw the blonde woman heading toward him staring at him bleary eyed, and he said to his colleagues, “Excuse me while I attend to this.”
“Brother you want to put a bullet in the base of that girl’s skull and let that be the end of it, the old man be damned.” said his older brother. “Twice in one week is getting beyond a joke, and the amount of money she owes us is a sin”
“Well that’s where you and I are different, I respect the old man’s wishes, and besides, things have been pretty awful for her lately, so cut her some slack eh?” said George.
“Don’t say I didn’t ever warn you George,” said the elder brother.
“Ruby is MY problem and I WILL deal with her in any way I see fit, got it?”
“Your barbeque brother,” he said smiling because he tried to tell himself that he didn’t really care at all. So long as she caused him no grief personally, then George could do what he liked with her.
George had a soft spot for Ruby ever since that day…
Her mother had been a dancer in the bar back in his father’s day, and despite the fact that she had run afoul of the Papadopolis family in a big way, the girl, who was just a little toddler at the time, had never done any wrong. Besides that, Ruby reminded him somewhat of his cousin Cinnem who was only a few years older, the same cousin who would not allow George to help her.
Cinnem blamed Antonio Papadopolis for her mother’s nervous breakdown after her older sister Tarryn had been brutally attacked and murdered when they were just children. Tarryn’s father had committed suicide once he’d exacted his pound of flesh from the perpetrator of the heinous crime, and Cinnem’s life had pretty much run from one crisis to the next after that.
“Contact with my family has never done Ruby any favours, to the contrary, it left her to the mercy of her child molesting halfwit preacher father, and helped her to develop the habit she has now,” George said to himself as he walked toward Ruby.
“How could that woman be stupid enough to leave her two young children with a child molester and then take up with the likes of that murdering bastard?” he asked himself.
George would have had Ruby’s father ‘clipped’ the very first time he’d come to their attention if he’d been in charge. But for the fact that Ruby would have ended up in an even worse predicament than she had been left in, Antonio put up with the fool of a man for two more years, but after THAT incident, he had rid the world of Reverend Cagill permanently.
At least at her father’s place she had her brother Chas the fag and the housekeeper Joanna, employed by Antonio himself, and once the Reverend had been clipped, Ruby had been cared for by Joanna, but it was already too late for Ruby, the damage had been done.
“Fag or not, he does a pretty good job of taking care of Ruby, and if not for my father, who knows, maybe he might not have turned out to be a fag in the first place? Who knows what being raised by a man like Cagill could do to children’s psyche and sexual orientation over a long period of time? But then again, Ruby’s not a dyke; oh hell who gives a shit about who Chas likes to duke it out with in the bedroom? Point is, Chas is a good man, well half man, okay so yeah Chas is a good fag.”
Only Frank was aware of what had happened to Chas at the hands of Charles Coleman, and it was a detail he had never shared with another living soul once his father Antonio passed on, not even his own brother.
Unknown to Frank, George had kept his fair share of secrets concerning the Cagills too, out of respect for their father, and their father, in typical Papadopolis fashion, had set both sons up to never really completely trust the other.
George had respected his father as any son in his position should have done, but he had not respected the way his father had often let his temper get the better of him. That in turn, had led him to doing things without much consideration of the long term consequences for others, Ruby’s mother and then there was the mess with his best friend Carlos and the murdering bastard Antonio had helped him rid the world of. Then there were all the other things Antonio indulged in, bribes here and there, payoffs, clipping this one, that one or the other one for not even half a damn good reason.
“Then Uncle Carlos killed himself too, so much death and destruction. That’s where I am different to you Antonio, I think things through before I do them. Frank, on the other hand is just like you, never thinks before he does things, he will be the ruination of this whole business if he doesn’t learn to control his temper,” George said to himself as he neared Ruby.
“George, I need your help,” said Ruby who by that time had tears streaming down her face.
George thought back to the first time he had ever seen Ruby, she was no more than ten years old, and they were at the hospital visiting their grandfather Franklyn who was in his last few days of life.
George was sixteen at the time, Frank eighteen and Ruby’s older brother Chas had been brought in with a fairly significant head injury, which he had sustained at the hands of the good Reverend Cagill.
Antonio had instantly recognised Ruby, being that she was spitting image of her mother. She had been sitting on a bench near to where George and Frank were sitting awaiting their father’s return from the intensive care unit. George remembered sitting there eating a candy bar while the little girl Ruby had sat there covered in bruises and with a black eye to boot, watching himself and Frank eating. What she would have given for just a bite of that candy bar, he could see it in her eyes.
Antonio had wandered out of the intensive care ward, having just discovered that Chas Cagill was a patient, when he saw Ruby sitting on the bench staring at his two boys eating. George remembered seeing his father Antonio walk right up to the little girl and crouch down in front of her, “Your name is Ruby Cagill?” he had softly asked her.
Ruby had merely nodded her head.
“Your brother is going to be okay Ruby, did your daddy do that to him, did he do this to you?” he asked pointing to the bruises on her legs and on her face.
Ruby looked around her wild eyed, terrified to say anything against her father for fear of what he might do to her for telling on him, and so she just stared at Antonio.
“Ruby, did he do this to you, has he been hurting you and Chas? It’s okay, you can tell me because if he has done these things to you, then I will make sure that he does not hurt you again.”
George was struck by his father’s tenderness toward Ruby; he had rarely ever seen his father display a tender side at all. Then the Reverend Cagill had stepped out from inside the intensive care ward and made his way toward Ruby and she had begun to shake with fear the second she laid eyes on him. But instead of speaking to Antonio, he stayed back and waited to see what was going to happen next, and Ruby’s reaction showed Antonio clearly that Cagill was the perpetrator of the misery the little girl before him was suffering.
“Frank, Frank,” he’d barked at the older of his sons, “You take Ruby down stairs to the café, whatever she wants you get it for her,” he said as he passed a wad of money to Frank.
“What do you mean by whatever?” Frank had dared to ask.
“Are you deaf boy?” asked Antonio annoyed with his older son, knowing the boy was always tight fisted about issues involving money.
“No, but I…”
“You take Ruby here down stairs to the café, whatever she wants, she gets, comprende? And then you take her to the gift shop so that she can get something for her brother…and if she wants something for herself then you get her that too, and give her whatever is left.”
“Ok sir,” said Franklyn as he took Ruby by the hand and began to walk away with her toward the lifts.
“It’s okay Ruby darling, Frank will take care of you.”
George had sat there watching his older brother get into the lift with the girl, and just as he was wondering why he hadn’t been landed with her, his father turned to him and said, “I want you to witness this, you’re tight lipped, I can trust you.”
George had gotten up off the bench and gone over to his father who pulled a gun out on the Reverend and ordered him to get into the other lift, which he did without argument. Once they got to the ground floor Antonio ushered him outside of the hospital and into a deserted alley where he shoved the Reverend up against a wall and said to him, “Open your mouth!”
The Reverend did what he was asked and Frank forced the loaded gun into his mouth and then said, “You’re a piece of shit, you know that Cagill?”
Cagill merely nodded his head, and then Antonio cocked the gun and a few seconds later George saw the puddle of water on the ground and the source of the miniature flood was Cagill’s left trouser leg.
Antonio looked at the ground and then back up at Cagill and said, “You disgust me you pathetic piece of shit and let me tell you something else Cagill, I ever see another mark on that little girl I will kill you. If you so much as EVER even dare to touch a hair on that child’s head, I will kill you and it won’t be pretty Cagill. Comprende?”
Cagill nodded his head and grunted while he looked around him as wild- eyed as Ruby had been when he had walked out of the ward.
“You want to know why I’m telling you this Cagill, you really want to know why?” spat Antonio at Cagill.
He made no move, no sound, just set his eyes in line with Antonio’s and waited to hear what the man had to say to him next.
“Your wife, that half witted woman, she spread it around, but you knew that right? But see I had occasion to be with her too. And to the best of my knowledge Ruby did not spring from your perverted loins, she came forth from mine. So far as I know, that little girl is mine and if you EVER hurt her or her brother again, I will kill you myself. From now on you will have a house-keeper, one of my employees and SHE will take care of those children and she will be reporting to me daily, and for your sake, you better hope her reports are favourable. Are you hearing me you sad sack of shit?”
Cagill nodded his head, while George stood there in shock. Ruby was his sister? As a parting gesture Antonio kneed him in the groin, pistol whipped Cagill and left him where he fell.
The walk back into the hospital was eerily quiet. Quiet until Antonio turned to his youngest son and said, “Ask me, I know you want to, but once you hear my answer it is to be the end of it. You take it to your grave George because Ruby’s life depends on it.”
George nodded his head and asked the question, “Is Ruby my sister?”
“I don’t rightly know the answer to that George, but there is a chance she could be, something we’ll never know for sure I guess. But while I’m alive I will take care of her and because her brother is the only soul she has alive who truly looks after her then I shall take care of him also. You have to keep it to yourself because if my father ever found out, she’d become fish bait. He would never allow a child, even a Papadopolis bastard, who descends from one such as her mother into the family. Your older brother Frank is his grandfather’s grandson, do you understand what I am saying to you George?”
George nodded his head and his father added, “And when I die and the business falls to you and Frank, you are to take care of Ruby, anything she wants, it is hers for the asking, are we clear on this George?”
“Yes sir,” said George who lived to please his father.
“And one last thing, don’t you EVER tell Frank about Ruby, about why. I will speak to him too to ensure he doesn’t ever get it into his head to hurt the girl. This is my express wish George, and if you never do anything else I ask, you be sure and take care of Ruby.”

George snapped out of his stroll down memory lane and said, “I know you do Ruby,” as he took her by the arm and led her out the back of the bar. Ruby suddenly began to heave, and George thought she might begin to be sick, “Do you need to go to the ladies Ruby?”
Ruby nodded her head and so he took her into the ladies room and left her with one of the girls while he headed out to the far room at the back to fetch Celia. Troy followed them into the ladies restroom and he just stood there watching. George brought Celia through to the ladies room and pointed to Ruby and said to her, “You take care of her Celia, whatever she needs no questions asked, you got that straight?”
George headed back toward the door into the bar but he stopped when he heard Celia snap, “She has a huge tab George, where’s it going to end?”
George walked back and grabbed Celia by her hair and said, “Are you my accountant? Did you not understand what I said to you Celia? YOU TAKE CARE OF HER! Her debt is my concern, not yours. Am I making myself clear Celia?”
“Steady on there buddy,” thought Troy as he watched the way George was handling the lady.
Celia nodded her head as George released his grip on her, and then she went and got Ruby up off the floor. Celia took her out to the back room where Ruby was given what she needed. Celia desperately wanted to be rude to Ruby but she was too scared to, because for some reason, George had a soft spot for this strung out little cokehead.
“God only knows why,” she said as she watched Ruby leave the room half an hour later, in much better condition than she was when she’d arrived.
Celia had given her enough for the next few days, so all would be good until that ran out.
“And then what?” thought Ruby, “Doesn’t matter, maybe I can cut it back, wean myself off? The druggie’s illusion, but when I’m high it seems like such an easy undertaking, but when you’re in it, how your perspective changes,” she said out loud.
The men she passed near the door to the back of the bar just stared at the crazy woman talking to herself, but they said nothing, they all knew Ruby was special to George.
She entered into the bar through the back door and made her way over to George, and she was relieved to see that there was no Troy that she could see anyway. Once she was beside George, she reached out her hand to touch him on the shoulder. One of the burly men standing on the other side of him at the table grabbed her wrist in a vice like grip and began to twist it before George saw what was happening.
Ruby screamed out in pain as the burly man said, “You don’t interrupt Mr. Papadopolis while he’s playing cards you little whore.”
Troy stood there feeling the anger rising up inside him, but knew he could do nothing about it except watch.
George turned to see who had screamed, and when he saw who it was, and heard what the burly man had said, he struck him in the face with his fist. The ring he was wearing caused a deep gash on the man’s face and so he lay there on the floor trying to stem the flow of blood.
“Don’t you EVER speak to this girl that way again, this is RUBY, and RUBY can disturb me any damn time she sees fit!”
“Always protecting her George, you sure do have a soft spot for her don’t you?”
Frank looked up at George and thought, “Brother you are way too soft with people, but that’s where we are different, you feel guilt, I do not. Cinnem and Tarryn, it all goes back to those two little girls. Well, I suppose Cinnem is not so little these days, and as for little Tarryn, by…” Frank’s eyes began to mist up a little as he sat there staring at Ruby and remembering. He had been there when his father had her mother clipped, he’d been eight years old, “She had to know what he was doing, no one can live with a man who does those things and not know that something was up. Ruby’s mother deserved to get what she got, but Cinnem, Tarryn, Ruby and Chas? All innocents, especially Tarryn.” Tears flowed freely down the face of Frank Papadopolis and no one sitting at the table dared to point it out or to even look at him.
“Oh yeah Frank you do well to cry, do you have any idea how much what you do for a living wrecks other people’s lives? Do you know how many bodies lay in the wreckage? And that’s just from your father, but you too have taken more than your fair share. One day Frank, one day you will answer for all of this if you do not turn from it,” said Troy.
Frank, despite his tough exterior, was known for breaking down and crying, not often, but once in a while it had happened. The first time anyone had been stupid enough to point out that Frank was crying for no apparent reason ended up being a lesson for everyone else present. Frank had pulled out his gun and shot the man point blank between the eyes. Everyone else had sat there in stunned silence, and it never happened again. If Frank wanted to cry, then so be it.
Frank very quickly regained his composure, looked around at the faces at the table who all had their eyes squarely focused on Ruby, the burly guy on the floor and George. Ruby had stopped crying by then and she pressed her body up against George, “You want something from me George, maybe I can wipe off some of my tab?”
Frank just silently shook his head and thought, “One day we’re going to get out of this shitty business, one day we’re going to go straight.”
George, feeling as awkward as a man could possibly feel simply said, “You’ll pay your tab when you can Ruby, now you get out of here and go home.”
Frank pulled eighty dollars from his pocket, got up walked over to Ruby and pressed it into her hand. “Take a cab home, you don’t know what nuttas are hanging around in the streets late at night. You should know this better than anyone Ruby, not that I care or anything,” he said and he turned from Ruby and went and sat back down again thinking about the recent bizarre murder of that baby, and her mother lying in the intensive care ward a living corpse.
“Well, perhaps there’s hope for you yet Frank Papadopolis?” thought Troy as he watched Frank make a kind gesture toward Ruby, something totally out of character for the tough, usually heartless man.
Ruby said to George, “Keep his money, I’m going to walk home and I WILL pay my tab George, somehow.”
“You take his money, it’s an olive branch Ruby, don’t be foolish enough to throw it back in his face,” George whispered into her ear.
“Thank you Frank,” said Ruby hesitantly in Frank’s direction because Frank scared her.
“Ah, be on your way girl,” said Frank as he gave George a look that said, “I know what you’re doing, I know why, and I’m not going to fight you on it anymore, because deep down, I feel a responsibility for her as well.”
“I will pay my tab George, please believe me,” said Ruby again.
George nodded his head knowing full well that she meant well, but that she never would clear her tab, “But she wouldn’t be in this mess if not for you father, well not just you I suppose, me too. Family tradition, hate, lust, guilt and all those other things that went in to creating the situation she ended up in,” he thought to himself as he watched her walk toward the door that led out onto the street. “Follow her, make sure she gets home safe Gino,” George instructed the slick looking thirty-something man who stood near the bar.
“Great baby sitting…again. I don’t know why George doesn’t just put that girl out of her misery.” “Yes boss,” Gino said as he followed Ruby out of the bar.
George went and sat back down at the table saying nothing to anyone else and as he stared at the four aces he had in his hand, he thought back to the day he had secretively followed his father to the hospital.
It was almost two years to the day since he’d seen his father threaten Cagill outside the hospital in the alley. A call had come into the house for Antonio, an urgent phone call from the housekeeper Joanna. George had not caught the full extent of the conversation except that he had picked up, from what he could hear; the Reverend had hurt Ruby, badly this time.
His father Antonio had marched out of the house angrier than George had ever seen him in his entire life, gotten into the limmo and instructed the driver, as he got in, to take him to the hospital. George immediately got into his Ferrari and followed his father there. Once he got to the hospital he followed his father, at a safe distance, up to the intensive care ward. He watched his father walk straight past the reception desk and no one bothered to stop Antonio, and so as George walked through he said to the nurses, “I’m with Antonio Papadopolis,” and the nurses did not stop him either.
He crept into the room where Ruby was lying in a bed and she was so beaten up that he hardly recognised her at all. He heard his father speak to the doctor, “What did the bastard do to her?”
The doctor explained that Ruby had been raped and beaten by the Reverend who was going to be arrested just as soon as the police could find him. The doctor explained also that the rape had been so brutal that they had performed a hysterectomy on Ruby in order to save her life, “She will never have children,” the doctor explained.
Antonio sat down on the side of the bed and took Ruby’s hand in his and said, “He will never hurt you again Ruby, I promise you.” And then he said to the doctor, “This is my daughter, you will make sure she gets the best of care, you will make sure she gets everything she needs, no expense is to be spared, do you understand me?”
The doctor nodded his head, and Antonio added, “What has been said in this room stays in this room, comprende?”
Again the doctor nodded his head. Antonio then turned from the doctor to walk out of the room and discovered George standing just behind the curtain and he seized the boy by the collar and dragged him from the ward, into the lift, down to the ground floor and then outside to the parking lot. He slammed George up against the car and said, “You’re eighteen George, a mere boy, but today you will become a man,” and he shoved the boy into the back of the limmo and they were driven home. Later that day George returned to the hospital to retrieve his car and then picked his father Antonio up from Cinnem’s mother’s house and they set out together to find the good Reverend Cagill.
They had found him snivelling in the back room of the church he led where he had remained undetected by the police when they had come looking for him. Antonio went in by himself and brought Cagill out to the Ferrari at gun- point and ordered him into the trunk of the car. Antonio then ordered George to drive out to Seven Bridges Road.
“That road is a story all on its own,” thought George as he continued to stare at his four aces.
Seven Bridges Road was only know by that name to the immediate Papadopolis family and had been named so because when Antonio had been driving out there years ago a song by the Eagles called Seven Bridges Road had been playing on the radio. The name was good for the road because, like everything else in the family, the actual locale of the road was protected by a code name. Seven Bridges Road became the new dumping ground for what Antonio liked to call, ‘human garbage’ and if anyone was ever ordered to take someone to Seven Bridges Road, well they knew immediately the fate of the person being taken for a drive. That day was George’s first trip there.
Once they arrived at a reasonably secluded spot Antonio ordered George out of the car and then they both walked around to the trunk and got the shaking Cagill out to stand on his feet. The pathetic man began to cry and asked Antonio, “You’re going to kill me aren’t you, oh please don’t kill me.”
Antonio looked the Reverend squarely in the eyes and said, “I’m not going to kill you Cagill, perhaps I should just desex you?” he asked laughing sarcastically.
“Please don’t hurt me Mr. Papadopolis, it is the drink, I have been praying for healing, I truly have and I have learned the error of my ways, it will never happen again. It’s just the girl, she…she…torments me so with her ways…just like a temptress from the bowels of hell she does.”
Antonio raised the gun he had in his hand to the temple of the blubbering man and said, “Shut up you perverted piece of garbage,” and he cocked the gun.
“Please, please I beg of you Mr. Papadopolis, please do not kill me,” he blubbered.
George stood there feeling sick, feeling caught between the crimes of the man and the hatred of his father toward the man, he felt compassion, pity and the need for vengeance all in the one moment. The next thing he felt was shock and horror when he heard his father say, “Never fear Cagill I’m not going to kill you…” and then he paused for a moment or two and then added, “my son is.”
Antonio placed the gun into George’s hand, “This is the time to prove yourself boy, you can become one of two things in these next moments, a man like myself or a sell out. Choose wisely son.”
Cagill had decided to appeal to the young George, he was almost convinced he could swing the boy around to his way of thinking, “Oh son, God will bless you richly if you spare my life and I swear I will use every moment making up for my wrongs.”
Antonio slapped his face and said, “Don’t you DARE to refer to my son as your son.”
“Please George, God will truly bless you if you have mercy on me,” he said as the tears fell down his face.
George had not even given it a second thought once the Reverend said the bit about having mercy on him, “What mercy did you show Ruby you piece of crap?” and he placed the gun at Cagill’s genitals and pulled the trigger twice.
Even Antonio was shocked that the boy had done that, and then George had leaned over the shrieking Cagill and plugged him twice in the stomach, “Die slowly and painfully you miserable bastard.” George had then handed the gun to his father and said, “See now father, you have your man,” and he had stood there to see what his father’s response would be. But for the rest of his life George would wish he had left then and there because his father pulled out a knife and did the unimaginable to the Reverend.
George had been so shocked and sickened that he had vomited there in the grass beside where the Reverend lay. The look of terror in his eyes and the horrible choking noise emitting from his mouth was more than George could humanly take, and so he had gone and sat in the car in stunned silence.
Antonio followed his son to the car and said, “It is necessary to send a violent and chilling but clear message to anyone who thinks it is okay to rape little girls, any child for that matter. Charles Coleman found that out and now so has the good Reverend.”
“How long will you leave him like that?” asked George feeling weakened.
“As long as it takes for him to die,” said Antonio coldly.
Then they both sat there saying nothing more; the air around them filled with the sounds of birds and the suffering of Reverend Cagill. In the end Antonio could stand the sound no longer and went and placed a bullet at the base of the skull of the pathetic creature that had dared to call himself a man of God. The gun and knife were then discarded of in a river further down the road on their way back to town. The deed was witnessed by no one except the man standing there beside the tree, and he had witnessed much depravity in his time, so the actions of Antonio Papadopolis saddened him more than shocked him. He had been waiting there to escort the Reverend to his new home on the island where he would someday realise the error of his ways and repent, “But that will be a very long time in the happening,” Saul said as he took the Reverend by the arm.
George had vowed from that day on that if there were another way around killing someone, then he would find it. That was where he differed from his older brother.
“Your bet,’ said Frank.
“What?” asked George as he looked up from his cards, still feeling seedy from the memory of his first drive down Seven Bridges Road.
“Are you in or out?” asked Frank.
“I’m in,” said George as he stared hard at his older brother.
Gino began to follow Ruby and then he half thought, “Why not? Who is she going to tell? She probably won’t even remember it.” He walked up behind her and said, “Hey Ruby girl, you got something for me? You remember me right, I let you into the bar in the first place.”
Ruby stared hard at Gino and then said, “No I don’t remember you,” and then she began to laugh.
“I want you to take care of me Ruby, know what I mean?”
“Oh no he’s going to attack Ruby,” thought Troy.
Ruby spun around and screamed at him, “I don’t need to take care of you, GO AWAY!”
“Come on Ruby, I heard you give real good hea…”
Ruby silenced him with a good hard kick to the groin, at which point he collapsed on the ground in pain and Ruby continued on her way. Troy was impressed and said to himself, “Hope I never make her that mad.”
Gino recovered his composure reasonably quick for the power behind the kick he had received and he followed her for a few streets more. He watched her staggering around and witnessed her talking to someone who wasn’t even there, “Bugger this,” he said as he turned back toward the bar, “if I walk back slowly enough George won’t know I didn’t follow her all the way.”
Ruby was staggering around in the dark street and she really didn’t have a clue where she was nor where she was supposed to be. She could hear footsteps behind her, but she was unsure as to how far behind her the person was, as her hearing was not working as acutely as it should.
“Come on Ruby, I’m taking you home.”
Ruby spun around to face whomever spoke to her, and that was when she saw him, “Troy, Troy, oh I was hoping I’d see you again soon.”
“I did NOT want to be seeing you this soon Ruby. You have got to stop this, you are going to die very soon if you don’t.”
“I don’t care Troy,” Ruby flapped her arms around pretending to be a bird making an awful noise and in the end Troy picked her up in his arms and carried her back to her apartment.
“Is Chas home?”
“No, Chas has gone off with Xaan and Damien for the night, to some Word Fest… macho bullshit gay bar blah blah thing…that…um…gay people go to. I’m…not gay…at least I wasn’t this morning…so I get to stay here. You’re not gay are you Troy?” Ruby smiled at Troy.
“Very happy, but no, definitely not gay.”
He carried her up the stairs to the balcony and said to Ruby, “Unlock the door, you can unlock the door Ruby? Or do you need me to put you…
“I’m chalked up Troy not an invalid, I can unlock a door.”
Ruby reached down and unlocked the door and as she brought her hand back up she gently grazed her hand across Troy’s crotch.
“Ruby why do you keep doing that? I told you already that I don’t…
Ruby touched him again, “What am I to do with you?” Troy said as he swallowed to rid himself of the lump in his throat and then pushed the door open with his foot. Troy walked across the lounge and into the second bedroom, having gazed briefly into the first when he went past it on his first visit, he knew it was not Ruby’s. He gently lay her down on the bed, and Ruby refused to relinquish her hold around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. Ruby lifted her mouth to his in an effort to get Troy to respond, and he did. But even as he wrapped his tongue around hers it somehow didn’t seem right, and then he could hear Heathcliff’s voice, “It should be about love and respect.”
Then she lay down against the pillows and began unbuttoning her blouse to expose her breasts. And she took Troy’s hand and placed it on top of one them.
“What are you trying to do Ruby?” he asked as he realised where she was trying to take things again. Her skin felt soft, warm like silk and he most certainly had to concentrate on not falling into the age-old trap.
Ruby slid her hand down to his groin and she could tell that she was having the desired effect on him, “Well Troy, like I said last time, you’re not a small boy,” she drawled, giggled and then said, “so what do you think Troy?”
He gently removed her hand from his groin and kindly said, “I think you are not yourself and you haven’t got a clue what you’re doing.”
Ruby could tell from the way he was breathing and the lack of conviction in his voice that she could very easily get the handsome Troy to give her what it was that she was seeking, “I know exactly what I’m doing,” Ruby pouted, “don’t you want me Troy?”
“Not like this Ruby, no I don’t,” he said as he buttoned her blouse up to cover her exposed breasts.
Ruby sat up and began yelling, “WHAT? AREN’T I PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU TROY? Any other man would…” she trailed off.
Troy remained silent for a moment but then gently touched her on the arm, and said, “You know that that is not the reason I will not take you Ruby,” at which point Ruby slapped him viciously across the face again.
Troy’s face stung where she’d hit him worse than the last time, but still he just sat there looking at her, his hand gently stroking her arm.
“Why don’t you want me Troy?” Ruby began to cry and her mascara began to run making her look like some demented mad woman, but Troy just looked her in the eye and said, “Ruby, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I love you Ruby and that’s the very reason why I will not touch you when you are like this. I told you this last time Ruby and I will keep on telling you. A man, a gentleman anyway will not take advantage of a lady no matter how much she may tempt him to do so.” He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled at her kindly and Ruby was touched to her very core by Troy’s care and respect for her because she had never had anyone treat her that way before. Ruby sat up and wrapped her arms around Troy’s neck again and he sat there with her just holding her while she cried, and she said through her tears, “You think of me as a lady Troy?”
“Aha, and no man who is worth an ounce of anything has sex with a lady under these circumstances, my brother taught me that. He said that sex and making love are two entirely different things. He said that when you meet someone, that you have to get to know them really well, you know? Find out what it is that they like that is the same as what you like, what they don’t like and the things about the other person that really annoy you. After a couple of months if you still like more things about the person than you dislike, then maybe she’s the one you can start thinking seriously about. If after a while every time she walks into the room she still lights it up for you, and if staring into her eyes still gives you butterflies, then maybe she’s the one? If anything you do feels empty and pointless without her, and if kissing her still makes you go weak at the knees, then she’s probably the one. It’s only then that you should be prepared to make love to her, because by then she might actually be ready to let you. Bottom line, if you’re not prepared to have a baby with her, then don’t be with her in that way. Well that’s what my brother said, and I think that that’s probably a fairly reliable gauge to go by.”
“Your brother sounds like he’s a romantic, a lot like she was actually,” said Ruby softly, “his way of thinking about things is beautiful.”
“He’s a writer, they’re supposed to be beautiful,” said Troy as he smiled.
“Do you think he’s right?” asked Ruby.
“Hmm, I’ve thought about it a lot over the years and yes I think he is right, for this world anyway, where I live things are slightly different. There is not the same sense of urgency there to reach milestones, as there seems to be here. Everyone here is in such a hurry to suck the life out of everything because they’re always so scared that they’re going to lose what they have. People seem to behave as though they are disposable, and in other cases they simply have no concept of forever, and so they pour everything into an experience as soon as they can, and then they wonder why relationships burn out so fast. Then because they’ve rushed into the relationship so fast and so blindly they don’t know what to do when accidents happen, you know pregnancy? The innocent then gets to pay for the mistakes of their parents.
We don’t have those kinds of problems where I come from. There’s never usually any hurry to venture anywhere too fast where I live Ruby, because you have plenty of opportunity for all of these things to come to pass when the time is right.”
“What about pregnancy over there Troy?” asked Ruby.
“It is always celebrated, new life is never viewed as a disaster or an accident, usually because the situation that it has occurred in was right to begin with. People are different there Ruby, they try really hard to think about what they’re doing, what they’re saying and how it may impact on others, and even that is a simplistic explanation.”
A little while later Troy made coffee and he sat with her talking as she started to come down, but before he faded out on her he asked, “Do you know someone called Sally?”
“Sally? I know a Cinnem.”
“No this was definitely a Sally, do you know who she is?”
“Sally, Sally? Oh yeah, SALLY! Everyone knows Sally, everyone likes Sally, they really like Sally,” said Ruby laughing.
Troy didn’t understand and said, “That’s exactly what I heard someone else say, that they liked Sally, they really liked her.”
“Well Troy, everyone does like Sally, so much so they gave her an Oscar.”
“Who’s Oscar?”
“No silly, an Oscar’s an award.”
“So they gave this Sally girl an Oscar, an award? But who is she, like does Kodi know her?”
“Oh everyone knows Sally, and everyone who knows Sally likes her, they…”
“Really like her,” said Troy who was finally beginning to understand what was going on. “Sally is obviously some kind of urban legend or myth or joke, something everyone who lives here understands. But why would Kodi be mad at Sally?”
“Ruby, just say Kodi were to get mad and be screaming that thing you said about Sally, would you know of any reason why she’d do that?”
Ruby began laughing hysterically, and Troy had no idea why Ruby was laughing so much, and nothing she said made any sense until she stopped laughing and explained it coherently.
“Voh used that line on her, and she didn’t ‘get it’ either at first. Once she did, it kind of became a stupid friendship saying ditty thing they used on each other. If you saw her screaming and yelling about Sally, then that means she’s mad as hell at Voh. But I doubt she’d ever do that.”
“Why Ruby?”
“Because she never gets mad at anyone, not Voh or anyone else can do wrong enough to her to make her ‘go off.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know Troy, she’s just not wired that way, and of course even if she wanted to she couldn’t do it now anyway could she Troy? Why the sudden interest in Kodi and Sally Field anyw… a...?”
Ruby finally fell asleep and Troy was able to tuck her up securely and head home armed with his new information.

“So you can get this through to him?” Heathcliff leaned over Ed as he pressed the ‘send’ button.
“Sure it’s going through as we speak…see now it’s gone and will be sitting in his mailbox in his computer.”
“Ah yes the marvels of modern technology,” said Heathcliff, as he went and took a seat near the window. “She’s been seeing Troy a lot more, and she’s been seeing his house too.
“Really?” asked Ed surprised.
“Yeah, but he tends to disappear mid-way through a conversation with her, I mean he can still see her, but she can’t see him and she panics.”
“Oh no, that’s not a good sign, what does Troy do?” Ed leaned his chin on his hand at the desk.
“Well like the other day he tried to get through to her but he couldn’t, so he just followed her home and made sure she was okay, wasn’t really much else he could do.” Heathcliff tapped a pen against Ed’s desk. “Later that afternoon she threw this most amazing tantrum out in the paddock, swearing and cussing and screaming about some girl called Sally.”
“She’s not helping herself any Heathcliff.”
“Well that’s because she doesn’t know she needs help now isn’t it Ed, and anyway have you heard of anyone by that name?”
“No, no Sally’s in my neck of the woods, there was a Suzy though Suzy, gosh what was that girl’s last name? Ah yes, Cottle, years ago, horse riding accident.”
Ed noticed Heathcliff nodding his head and beginning to zone out as he went off at his tangent about Suzy, “But back to this other business. Kaleb told me that Chas apparently got into the computer and made contact with Voh as well, so this should spur him into action.”
“Well, every little bit helps I suppose,” said Heathcliff.
“Heathcliff, I have to tell you something, and I haven’t told Troy yet, but Ruby was a part of it.”
“I kind of suspected that, I saw her there. I didn’t want to believe it. So what happens now?” asked Heathcliff.
“She didn’t know what was going on, she was so drugged up she didn’t even know it was Marli,” said Ed.
“No, I don’t agree with you Ed, I think she knew exactly what she was doing.”
“She didn’t Heathcliff, she thought it was Kodi and she thought it was just going to be a scare given to Marli, that’s why she recorded him to hold him to it. If she’d known what she’d gotten involved with she’d never have done it.”
“It’s not that she did or didn’t know it was Kodi or Marli, but the fact that she chose to get involved in anything like this at all. The drugs can not be allowed to be used as her out for destroying someone else?” said Heathcliff getting angry.
“No, she still has to face what she’s done, but she’s not culpable, not in the way the other two are. She innocently did a good friend, who appeared to be scared out of her mind, a favour.”
“I’m sorry Ed, I just don’t see it that way, anyway, when is Troy going to be told?”
“Your mother and father are telling him as we speak, but no one is going to say anything to Ruby or Kodi just yet.”
“Well obviously seeing as how Ruby’s still there she can hardly be told and seeing as how Kodi doesn’t even know what’s real or imagined…what a mess,” said Heathcliff as he shook his head for the umpteenth time.
“Anyway, Heathcliff, I wondered if you’d come over for dinner tonight, I already invited Troy when I saw him earlier this morning and he accepted. Your mother, father and Saul are coming, and Kaleb may again venture over this way too, but that will remain to be seen.”
“Ed I’d have to bring Alexi, but if that’s not a problem then sure. Is Troy bringing Tay?”
“As I understand it he is, perhaps he may entertain the little one?” asked Ed, thinking children of any age could play together quite happily while their fathers attended to business.
“Does Tay know any party tricks yet Ed do you think?” Heathcliff liked to tease the man who had never had children at all in his entire life, but he’d never wanted any either. Ed was smiling because he understood Heathcliff’s quirky sense of humour in that he possessed a similar one himself.
Heathcliff headed off to Ed’s house around six o’clock and he wasn’t really looking forward to the whole socializing bit, “Kodi’s bound to come up in conversation,” he said to himself. Alexi was going back to his mother’s for a while so that Heathcliff could have a few days to himself.
Ems did that for both her sons, usually at the same time, as she wanted Tay and Alexi to spend more time together, and she knew her boys would neglect to recognize the importance of socializing the children together even at Alexi’s tender age. All children needed playmates no matter how old they were, in Ems’ opinion. That and it gave her an excuse to play mother for a few days to her grandchildren.
During dinner the mystery of Sally was solved by Troy, who relayed to Heathcliff what Ruby had told him the night before.
“So you went back to see her?” asked Heathcliff.
“Yeah,” said Troy, and it seemed to Heathcliff that he was avoiding his gaze, and when he looked at his mother she averted her eyes to Alexi.
“So it’s just some kind of joke between her and Voh then?” asked Heathcliff noticing how Ed, Joe and Saul were staying out of the conversation too.
“It would appear so, but it’s kind of a joke between everyone,” said Troy as he kept eating without looking up at him as he spoke.
“Well that’s good, one less complication. But isn’t it funny though some of the things they find amusing?” asked Heathcliff wondering if his brother would avert his gaze from his plate for even just a second.
“Okay what’s up with everyone? Why are they all avoiding looking at me?”
“Has something happened that you all know about that I don’t?” asked Heathcliff.
He sat there waiting for someone to say something, but they all remained silent, and he had never seen people devote so much concentration to the art of placing food inside the mouth, so he asked, “Has something happened to Kodi?”
“No Heathcliff, Kodi is fine,” said Saul as he flicked his eyes toward Heathcliff and then immediately returned his gaze to his plate. Ed nodded his head in agreement with Saul and then continued to eat. Troy looked up monetarily and met Heathcliff’s gaze, and then he said, “This is very good Ed, you’re a great cook.”
“What?” thought Heathcliff, “Since when did you care about whether Ed can cook or not, and since when did you start complimenting anyone when they cook anything? Something is up.”
“He knows something is up, he’s way too perceptive that brother of mine. He’s going to hit the roof when he finds out that we kept it from him,” thought Troy.
After dinner they retired to Ed’s smoking room for brandy and serious conversation.
“I know that Heathcliff and Troy have probably guessed that there’s an ulterior motive for this dinner,” said Ed, “so I’ll get straight to it. There’s a big problem with Kodi.”
“Troy too? I’m not surprised by it, but I thought this was about Ruby, not Kodi?” thought Troy.
“Duped again! I just knew something was up by the way everyone was acting, they couldn’t hide it if their lives depended on it. Okay Ed, so lay it on me, what’s happened to Kodi?” Heathcliff thought with his heart in his mouth.
Joe and Ems remained very quiet and allowed Ed and Saul to do the explaining. Ed and Saul were really nervous knowing that Heathcliff was probably going to be very angry. Troy would probably have a few reasons to get angry too, it could be a rough night.
“Someone who Kodi knew over there is here, problem is that person is still over there during Kodi’s lifetime, AND here in ours. We can’t have Kodi finding out, we must ensure it doesn’t happen,” said Saul.
“Ruby,” said Troy to Heathcliff, “she crossed over this morning.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me? Better still why didn’t you tell me ED?” asked Heathcliff understanding why his brother would keep that from him, but totally mystified as to why Ed said nothing.
“I was going to tell you, but we just thought it was better here than somewhere Kodi may well accidentally overhear,” Ed offered.
“We can’t take any chances Heathcliff, not this time,” said Saul.
“That’s the weakest excuse you have ever given me in the entire time I have known either of you. What’s the real reason you didn’t tell me?” asked Heathcliff.
“We thought you’d be angry beca..”
Heathcliff cut Saul off, “Well of course I’m angry considering what she did. She crosses over to live happily ever after and that girl across the paddock from me lives a daily hell, why wouldn’t I be angry?”
“We can’t do this right now Heathcliff, we have to concentrate on the two girls, work out what we’re going to do to keep them apart for now,” said Saul.
“So how in the world do we make sure they don’t bump into each other?” asked Heathcliff.
“I’m trying to keep Ruby home, you know not let her wander too far,” Troy said as he nervously shifted from foot to foot sensing his brother’s angry explosion was not too far away. “Yes you are maintaining your cool, calm and collected frame of mind for now, but soon, very soon brother you are going to lose it big time, and funnily enough I hardly blame you.”
“You can’t make a prisoner out of Ruby, Troy that’s not fair,” Heathcliff ran his hand through his hair, “anyway how did it happen?”
“Blood clot in the brain, ironically totally unrelated to her drug use, would have happened anyway. She’s settled really well already and she’s got no qualms about being here which is good.”
“Well that’s nice for her isn’t it?” said Heathcliff.
Troy picked up on the angry sarcasm but chose to ignore it and simply said, “Yes.”
“Does she know Kodi’s here?” asked Heathcliff barely managing to maintain his cool.
Joe grabbed Ems hand and held it sensing too, as did Troy, that things could very quickly spiral out of control between their two boys.
“No, and we’re not telling her yet because Ruby being Ruby, she might feel compelled to tell her. Not to be malicious, but thinking she was actually being honest where she may believe we are being dishonest. But Ruby knows exactly where she is and what’s going on,” said Ed.
“Ruby not malicious? I’m sorry are we all talking about the same Ruby, or did you all miss what happened in the lead up to Kodi’s demise?” Heathcliff stared hard at them all and then he said, “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”
“It’s okay Heathcliff, but we still don’t want Ruby telling Kodi anything that might cause Kodi to panic and run,” said Ed.
“We just have to keep them apart for a time,” said Ems.
“I’m sorry perhaps I worded my question wrong, because what you’ve said so far hardly answers it, so just in case you misunderstood what I meant I’ll ask it again. What are you going to do when they run into each other?” Heathcliff sighed loudly and added, “And they will run into each other! You know Kodi, she could wander over to the house any time, just as she wandered over to mine, and when she runs smack into Ruby, what are you going to do?” asked Heathcliff.
“We’ll have to convince Kodi she’s seeing things and then tell Ruby the truth, tell her exactly what’s going on,” Ems seemed to have it all figured out.
“You have no idea what you’re going to do, you haven’t thought that far ahead have you?” said Heathcliff.
“Ruby will be fine Heathcliff, I will see to that,” said Troy.
“You missed the point entirely Troy, Ruby is NOT the one I am worried about, Kodi is a wanderer from way back and we can offer no logical explanation to Kodi to ensure she doesn’t wander any more, not without arousing suspicion,” said Heathcliff.
“Okay Heathcliff, you win!” said Troy throwing his hands up in exasperation. “We don’t know what we’ll do, but we can control Ruby.”
“Ed tell them, they cannot lie to Ruby, she’s here now, they cannot lie to her. At least if Ruby knows the truth and sees Kodi she’ll know to try and avoid her, you know actually do her a favour instead of a disservice?”
“Oh, any moment now Heathcliff right?” thought Troy.
“That’s the problem, I told her Kodi hasn’t arrived yet. It’s not lying Heathcliff, we’re not directly lying to her,” Troy looked intensely at his elder brother.
“You are walking a very fine line Troy, you all are. Ruby might be able to help, and think what a turn around that would be?” Heathcliff eyed them all and he could feel the anger rising in his chest with every passing second.
“No Heathcliff, she won’t because she’s still alive for another day or so of Kodi’s life over there, and Kodi doesn’t know she’s supposed to be here,” said Ed.
“Kodi doesn’t have a life over there!” growled Heathcliff his patience and self-control almost all but gone.
“Not that SHE knows that, because SHE doesn’t know SHE’S not supposed to be there. If she runs into Ruby there and then runs into her here, then it’ll be blown,” Troy began to get angry with Heathcliff.
“Don’t raise your voice to me Troy, don’t you dare,” warned Heathcliff.
“Here we go,” thought Joe, Saul, Ed and Ems all at once.
“Oh what’s that supposed to mean?” asked Troy.
“Well you have what you want, RIGHT? You have Ruby, you have no more problems, now you can wash your hands of Kodi never mind your girlfriend…” Troy cut Heathcliff off.
“My girlfriend did what?”
“Never mind,” said Heathcliff realising that things could very quickly get out of hand. Troy had moved closer to Heathcliff and Heathcliff had moved closer to Troy and there was only about a foot and a half that was separating Troy and Heathcliff from coming to physical blows.
“No, YOU SAY IT! Have the courage to say it Heathcliff!” challenged Troy.
“What is Troy thinking baiting Heathcliff like that?” thought Joe.
“Fine, your girlfriend, your beautiful Ruby helped to destroy her Troy. SHE METICULOUSLY HELPED ENSURE HER LIFE WAS TAKEN AND HER CHILD MURDERED!”
Heathcliff’s eyes were blazing anger at his brother, and his brother was getting very angry too, and that was when their mother stepped in between them. She knew that there was no way either boy would lash out at the other if she was standing between them, because neither would ever risk physically hurting their mother.
“Heathcliff, it’s…” Troy didn’t get to finish because Heathcliff reached over his mother’s shoulder and pointed to Saul, Ed and Troy, “You dump her next door to me and you expect me to pick up all the pieces while you all wander away and get on with your lives. And what’s worse, Troy and Ruby get to live happily ever after while she just suffers and suffers. IT MAKES ME SICK AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY!”
“That’s not true Heathcliff, WE’VE ALL BEEN WORKING VERY HARD TO HELP KODI AND TO HELP YOU!” said Troy raising his voice even louder than Heathcliff had raised his. “Ruby was tricked and taken advantage of by that SLY DECEITFUL BITCH!”
“I UNDERSTAND KALEB, I TRULY UNDERSTAND EXACTLY HOW KALEB FELT!”
“THIS IS NOTHING LIKE KALEB!” yelled Troy.
“I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH!” Heathcliff yelled in his frustration, “I’ll work with Kodi, you all STAY AWAY FROM HER!”
Heathcliff went to pick up his baby daughter from the floor, and Joe said, “What are you doing Heathcliff?”
“Get away from me Joe,” he said glaring at his father.
“Joe, JOE? Since when do you call your father by his first name?” asked Ems.
“Since HE lost respect enough for me that he doesn’t even tell me what’s going on. Right father? Yeah, tell Troy, tell everyone, but don’t tell me. I’m out of here, I’m telling Kodi everything, then I’m taking her and Alexi and I’m leaving this place and I’m never coming back.”
Ed and Saul panicked inwardly because it was so reminiscent of Kaleb.
“Oh yeah Heathcliff, THAT’LL WORK!” yelled Troy.
“ENOUGH!” yelled Saul; “ I WILL NOT HAVE THIS DISSENTION! We are all on the same side here. Everyone just take a deep breath and think about the big picture here. Heathcliff,” he spoke gently to him as he touched Heathcliff’s arm and stroked Alexi’s hair, “Kodi is NOT ready to hear it, she wouldn’t understand it and she probably wouldn’t believe you. You go and do what you say you are going to do then you better be prepared to raise that baby by yourself and remain alone, because she’s it Heathcliff.”
“Heathcliff, please don’t risk Kodi because of Ruby, please, if it upsets you this badly I will not take Ruby as my wife. I’m your brother before I am anything to anyone else, and if you think you can’t live with Ruby, then I will not impose such a thing upon you,” said Troy as he stared at Heathcliff.
A thousand thoughts cascaded through Heathcliff’s mind as his anger began to ebb, “I will hurt everyone if I do what I am intending, Troy, Mother, Father, Saul, Ed even Ruby, but mostly I could devastate Kodi and Alexi. I have to stop this.”
“And I will not have my two sons fighting, I won’t have it,” Ems looked from one son to the other. And then she said, “No one was to blame for what happened to Kodi, Heathcliff, no one here, and if we’re careful everything will be fine, and anyway, Ruby is the least of our problems.”
Troy walked over to Heathcliff and gently took Alexi from him. He stood there holding her for a moment and then he handed her to Ems. Heathcliff would not run off to Kodi without Alexi and they could hold on to Alexi for as long as it took Heathcliff to calm down and see sense.
Everyone stood there as the heavy silence threatened to envelop them all.
Ed picked up the conversation again, “Anyway, we have another more pressing problem because someone else whom she knows is here too.”
“Oh great,” said Heathcliff who was tired and emotionally exhausted through the anger he’d already expended, “who is it, her twin?” he asked as he walked over to the mantelpiece and leaned his arm against it.
“Might as well be,” said Saul.
“Who?” asked Heathcliff and Troy in unison their very heated argument of a few seconds earlier forgotten already.
Ed poured the whole story out to them and both Heathcliff and Troy were completely shocked, so shocked in fact that the problem of Ruby and Kodi paled in comparison, “What are we going to do?” asked Troy.
Heathcliff had his head in his hands and Troy fiddled with a pipe off Ed’s mantle, “Yeah, what ARE we going to do Ed?” asked Heathcliff as he ran his hands down his face.
“We’re going to be super cool, calm, collected and very careful, aren’t we?” he said staring straight at Joe, “Yes,” replied Joe stoically.
“If we all remember what we are supposed to be doing and stop arguing with each other then maybe everything might be alright,” said Saul, “we just need to keep our eye on the ball. I have enlisted some outside help from Taite and a couple of others as well, so all is pretty much under control for now.”
The room was quiet for a few moments while everyone took stock of the situation.
“If handled correctly everyone will win,” said Saul calmly.
Everyone nodded quietly and then decided to make their way home. Ems took her two grandchildren home with her and Joe. Heathcliff made his way home after Troy had left so that he could have a quiet word with Ed.
“So how long have you known about this, and don’t lie to me, did you know this morning when I saw you?”
“I knew from the start.”
“So YOU KNEW? WHY?” yelled Heathcliff at Ed, “WHY?”
“Would you have taken Alexi if you’d known?”
Heathcliff shook his head and then nodded, “I don’t know.”
“That’s why you couldn’t know.”
Heathcliff left Ed’s house without another word, he was angry at the lack of trust Ed held in him, he was angry about Troy and Ruby and he was also angry that such a soul tie had been kept secret from him.

Heathcliff thought back to the first time that he had seen Annie; she too had wandered into the paddock between the two houses and had rubbed Sandanizta flowers onto her skin because she liked the smell. Unfortunately Annie got a terrible rash that just wouldn’t let up and it had taken three months for the rash to abate. If not for Annie, Ems would never have stumbled onto the baking soda paste that cured the rash.
Ed had suggested another cure, but for some reason it didn’t work on Annie, it would never have worked on someone from the other side, but they didn’t know that until Annie arrived.
She was beautiful, blonde shoulder length hair, around 5 feet 9 inches in height, brown eyes and she was fair skinned. Heathcliff felt drawn to her from that very first meeting in the paddock, but he’d never experienced loss first hand and he wasn’t aware that things could go wrong. He certainly never had any reason to suspect that things would go wrong with Annie.
It was a car accident that had taken Annie and Tay from that world; Annie had been driving along the road minding her own business. Sure her concentration was off because she was crying, but that still did not explain the drunk driver smashing into her car head on as he ran a red light at high speed.
Just prior to that she had walked in on her husband with another woman and when she saw them she just froze on the spot. Annie stood there with her hands on her distended belly just watching her husband finish up with the strange woman. He turned around and saw her standing there, and he’d immediately jumped from the bed, but by the time he had put clothes on, Annie was walking down the stairs outside the house.
He chased after her but by the time he caught up with her she was hanging onto the fence as she leaned over the garden puking and crying. Then she began screaming at him and hitting him because it seemed to her that he had made their whole world crash down around her.
In the end Annie got into the car, despite her husband’s pleading with her not to drive while she was so upset. Her last words to him had been, “If I crash and I am killed you will have only yourself to blame!”
Annie had screamed the words at him through her tears. She had driven off out of the driveway anyway, and five minutes later the accident had happened.
Heathcliff got to know Annie quickly and had spent almost every day with her, she was his soul mate and he’d been sure of it the very first time he’d met her. He’d had fleeting moments of doubt but had simply put them down to his apprehension at having never been with a woman before. When he had finally become one with her he had believed she was the one he’d waited for all of his life. Annie’s smile could light up a room and her laughter had been like music to his ears, and he’d poured everything into Annie, absolutely everything. Annie had loved him back just as much, and often she spoke of when they would marry, how many children they would have and of how happy they would be.
“Kodi is very different to Annie,” Heathcliff noted, “Kodi is suspicious and untrusting, and she rarely looks beyond today. I suppose it stands to reason that she’d be very different to Annie. Annie had the best of everything, private schools, and rich parents who enjoyed a very stable marriage to each other. Annie was popular with the kids at school, her peers at College and her colleagues when she passed the bar. Kodi looks nothing like Annie either, she never has, so if she’s so different to Annie, what is it about her that I find so intriguing? Okay so maybe she’s really just an annoyance, perhaps I am not really intrigued by her at all? I don’t really know what it is about Kodi that makes me feel the way I do. Confusion, that’s it, she confuses me, she confuses my senses. She causes me to feel anger, pity and desire all at the same time when I stare at her, and those eyes, oh my those eyes really give her secrets away. She thinks someone like me could not care for her, but she is so wrong and yet at the same time, I want her to think I cannot care for someone like her, that way she will never open herself up enough to allow me to care for her. Problem solved. But what about Alexi? Doesn’t she deserve to have a mother? I have to stop thinking about this because I’m driving myself crazy. Kodi could be the same kind of disaster as Annie, the very same and I don’t think I can relive that, I don’t think I can do it. What chance would I stand even if I did want her, which I don’t? This whole situation is a disaster in the making, too much can go wrong and there are too many complications. If we couldn’t get Annie (whose case was straightforward) to cross through the mist, how the heck are we, oh let me reword that, ‘they’ going to get Kodi to cross with the complications that exist?” he thought as he drove home. He was so angry that he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was doing. “And I hate her cat, man I hate that cat.”
Heathcliff was almost home when it happened. As he headed up toward his driveway he looked each way for other travellers, but what he didn’t see as he went past Kodi’s house was Harry. Not until Harry shot out in front of his car like a bullet and by then there was little he could do to avoid the inevitable.
He felt the wheels go over Harry and he knew it was all done. He stopped his car on the side of the road to go back and assess the damage, even though he knew it was probably a fatality he’d find sprawled out on the road.
Sure enough Harry was finished, “You stupid cat, you silly feline. I’m sorry Harry,” said Heathcliff as he removed his white sweater and wrapped Harry’s body in it. “I have to go tell your mother what I have done, and she’s never going to believe this was an accident. Why me? Why did you have to run out in front of my car? Why not Troy’s or Ed’s carriage? Why did it have to be mine?”
“And you had to run out in front of my car within the two second space of me saying terrible things I didn’t mean about you too. Now I’m going to feel guilty forever.”
Heathcliff drove into his driveway, parked the car and grabbed Harry into his arms. He walked across the paddock toward Kodi’s house dreading more and more what he was going to say with every step that he took. Half way across the paddock he toyed with the idea of just burying Harry and saying nothing to her.
“She’ll just think you ran away, I won’t tell. That’s terrible, I can’t do that, what if I really do end up with her one day? There’d be this terrible lie between us and I’d have to tell her the truth, then what might happen? No I have to go and tell her because she’ll look for you, she’ll look and look and she’ll not cease until she finds out what has happened to you. She will not rest until she knows. How can I even consider being deceitful? Why does it matter to me if she’s angry with me or not? I care for her don’t I? Some how some way that annoying girl has managed to crawl under my skin and I am about to impress her with my cat-killing prowess. Ain’t life grand Harry?”
By the time he had finished thinking about the situation he was climbing the fence into her property. He walked across the driveway and up onto the porch. When he knocked on the door he could see her inside sitting on a chair reading what looked to be his mother’s novel.
“Wuthering Heights, again.”
Kodi looked up from her book and saw that it was Heathcliff and she wondered what he wanted, “Why’s he here and what’s he holding?” she thought to herself.
Once she got up from the chair she could see that Heathcliff, standing on the porch, seemed ill at ease, and as she approached the door she could see that whatever he was holding had black fur. She looked over at Harry’s favourite chair only to notice he wasn’t it in. That was when it struck her that Harry may probably be dead and her heart sunk, but she wasn’t going to give Heathcliff the pleasure of seeing her cry over a cat he hated anyway. She slowly opened the door.
Heathcliff looked at her and said, “Kodi I’m really sorry but Harry ran out in front of me as I was driving…I…I um I didn’t…see him.”
“Oh my gosh my cat really IS dead, oh no, oh no. No Kodi DO NOT CRY IN FRONT OF HIM!”
Kodi swallowed, forced her tears down and looked straight at Heathcliff and stoically said, “I suppose that will teach him not to go places he’s not supposed to be won’t it, and at least your birds will be safe now.” She didn’t look into Heathcliff’s eyes; in fact she refused to make eye contact with him at all. It didn’t go unnoticed by Heathcliff that she avoided it, and he hardly blamed her.
“Why was I so mean about Harry? Would it have killed me to be a little more forgiving of his natural hunting instincts, as Troy said, he was after all a cat?”
Kodi reached out her arms for Heathcliff to place Harry into and when she noticed his white sweater she said, “I’ll wash this and get it back to you.” And she turned from Heathcliff to go back inside.
“Kodi, I would like to help you bury him, I know he meant a great deal to you, and I feel terrible about this.”
Kodi wanted to scream obscenities at the man, and in the moment he handed her cat over to her she hated him, he had killed her cat on purpose and he had enjoyed it.
“I don’t want anything from you Heathcliff,” she slammed the door shut so hard with her foot that it made Heathcliff jump.
“He’s not that horrible Kodi, no one is. Yeah Marli was, and maybe Heathcliff is just another Marli? Perhaps he’s just another Mark, Jason or Dani, I mean you always know how to pick them. You like Heathcliff so there’s got to be something wrong with him. He has the sensitivity of a truck driver, I’m sure of it. No I’m not, he seems different, oh I don’t care, my cat is dead, the only other thing I loved in this world aside from my sister (whom by the way I also hated at the same time) is dead. Maybe I’m the one with the problem, I mean who hates their own sister? I mean come on really Harry, who hates their own flesh and blood? Maybe that’s why you got taken? You know my punishment for hating her?” Kodi sat down on the floor and cried.
Heathcliff went to walk home but didn’t even make it across the driveway to the fence for the guilt he felt leaving her alone like that, so he turned around, went back and quietly sat on the porch swing.
“I killed her cat, I Heathcliff killed a cat she thinks I hated, well I did sort of dislike him, no I hated that cat. But still, I would never have wished harm upon him, and I bet she thinks I did it on purpose, like I swerved to hit him?”
After about five minutes he stood up and quietly opened the door and took a peek inside. There she was sitting on the floor cradling her dead cat in her arms crying quietly. He had a half thought to go to her, but at the last second changed his mind and went to leave, but as he turned around he ran straight into his brother.
“What are you doing here Troy?”
“I came to check on Kodi, what are you doing here?”
“Oh me, well ah, I killed Harry.”
Heathcliff stood there staring at his brother waiting for him to admonish him for his behaviour earlier that night.
“You did what?” Troy was relieved to hear that he had merely accidentally killed Kodi’s cat as opposed to what he had initially thought he was doing there. Troy thought Heathcliff had been in to see Kodi to make good on his angry threat to tell her everything and then to run with her and Alexi.
“With my car, it was an accident, he ran out on the road and I just didn’t see him until it was too late. I’m surprised you’re even talking to me after everything I said about Ruby tonight.” Heathcliff looked down at the ground, scuffed the shingle with his foot and then looked back up at Troy.
“I know that you know the truth Heathcliff, she was taken advantage of and she would have defended her with her own life if she had known what was going to happen. She hated her, you know that and she would never have done anything to help the girl, I mean if she’d been on fire on the side of the road Ruby wouldn’t have even spat on her to put her out. But I’m sorry Heathcliff because the truth of the matter is that without Ruby’s help she could never have pulled it off. And I meant what I said about her, if it’s going to drive a wedge between us then I will have Ed and Saul see if she can’t be placed somewhere else away from here.”
“You would be alone for the rest of your life Troy, alone forever, I would never ask you to make that kind of sacrifice for me.”
Heathcliff looked at his little brother and realised just how precious he was, how much he loved him and he pulled Troy into a hug and said, “She would have still done what she did with or without Ruby. She could have done it without Ruby quite easily; in fact Ruby was neither here nor there Troy if the truth is to be told. She’s not in any way to blame Troy, please believe me when I tell you that I firmly believe that. I don’t hold Ruby responsible in any way. I’m sorry I got mad at you and said those things, it was just anger and frustration talking, not me. I want you and Ruby to be happy, that’s all and I will not have you remain alone for the rest of your life. This is going to work out okay, I’m not sure how, but I’m sure that it will.”
“That’s the same thing that I want for you Heathcliff, to not be alone. I don’t know how it’s all going to work out, but you have got to get the girl, now what have you done to Harry?” Troy asked gently and jokingly, shaking his older brother by the shoulders.
“I killed him.”
“Heathcliff this is not the way you go about impressing the girl. You bring her flowers; maybe even chocolate, but you definitely under no circumstances kill her cat. Okay no jokes, is Kodi okay?”
“What do you think? Her asshole neighbour who hates her cat anyway just had the pleasure of killing him.”
“Go to her Heathcliff, try to talk to her.”
“She’s crying her eyes out Troy, she’s not going to want to see me even if I wanted to go in there.”
“Do you want to?” asked Troy; absolutely certain Heathcliff did want to go to her.
“Yes, and no, I don’t know what I want Troy. Well no that’s a lie, I do know what I want, but what if she doesn’t make it Troy?”
“You leave her now Heathcliff and she won’t make it. Why do you think we made sure she got the cat in the first place? She’s got nothing now Heathcliff, nothing; she’s lost everything that meant anything to her. She’s got no one here and she’s got no one and no place back there. If you don’t try, then she’s done for.”
“What if she…Annie?” Heathcliff quietly said.
“Take a chance Heathcliff, just take a chance, somehow this is all going to work out, remember? We both said as much not five minutes ago, so now we have just got to trust it. I’ll even come in with you, hold your hand.” Troy smiled and then recanted his offer, “Okay so I won’t hold your hand.”
“You’re just like mother, do you ever stop?” asked Heathcliff nervously grinning.
“No, I never stop and who knows she might even see me again so she won’t feel as uneasy with it just being you,” said Troy to his wiser older brother.
“Okay, okay.” Heathcliff took a deep breath and he headed toward Kodi’s door with Troy.
Troy tapped on the door and then walked in with Heathcliff standing behind him, “Hey Kodi,” he said.
“Troy?” she asked staring out through bloodshot eyes.
“And Heathcliff,” said Heathcliff as he stood beside Troy.
“You two, um know each other?” she asked sniffing as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Brothers,” offered Troy.
“But I thought…I…the other day, you just disappeared and doctor Logie said that...”
“No I didn’t disappear, I could tell you weren’t feeling well so I just went on my way to leave you in peace. And one mustn’t always take doctors at their word.”
“But you were at Marli’s funeral…I thought I saw you there…but.”
“Yeah I know Marli.”
Troy was telling the truth without giving any false information and without giving too much information, and Heathcliff was impressed with his brother’s ability to calm Kodi without giving too much away.
“I dreamed about you the other night,” said Kodi through her tears.
Troy and Heathcliff both stood there staring at her for a moment and it was Heathcliff who broke the silence.
“I didn’t mean to run Harry over Kodi, he wasn’t the only cat who ever ate by birds, Lenore’s had her fair share too. It was an accident, I swear it on my honour.”
Heathcliff crouched down on the floor beside Kodi and she said, “You don’t seriously think for a second that I thought you did it on purpose?”
“Of course not,” lied Heathcliff in reply to her lie.
“Will you help to…um…” Kodi choked up and cried more, obviously very distressed at the loss of her pet.
“Yup, and just to show him I had no bad feelings toward him, he can take the sweater with him.”
Kodi nodded her head still unable to speak.
Troy knew the significance of Heathcliff parting with the sweater, Annie had made it for him, and he gently placed a hand on Heathcliff’s shoulder. “She worked so hard to make that for him, it took her months to knit that, and it is the last thing he has left from her, well, aside from his nephew.”
Heathcliff in turn wrapped his arms tentatively around Kodi, and she cried like she had never cried in her life before. The tears she’d always thought she’d one day maybe cry with someone she loved. “But this is Heathcliff,” she thought to herself.
Heathcliff let her cry for as long as she needed to cry and he didn’t try to say anything to her at all.
“There’s a mountain of things I want to say to you Kodi, so many things I need to say, yet words escape me. I’m going to hope for the best Kodi, I’m going to start living like the best is going to happen, and I’m going to do everything I can to ensure it does. I will never hurt you, I will never betray you, I will always be kind to you, I will take care of you and be there for you, always.”
Once she stopped crying she said to Troy, “I thought you were a figment of my imagination, I even told Doctor Logie I imagined you, I can’t believe you’re actually real.”
Kodi looked down at her hands and then up again at Troy, but he was gone. Troy noticed Kodi’s leg jigging which meant she was extremely uncomfortable and tense, and Heathcliff looked at Troy and then at the jigging leg. He knew exactly what had happened; “Sometimes I think he’s a figment of my imagination too. He has a tendency to pop up out of nowhere and disappear just as fast,” Heathcliff said.
“Where’s he gone?” Kodi asked looking around for Troy.
Heathcliff looked straight at Troy and said to Kodi, “He slipped out the door to go find a spade for…for um…burying Harry.”
Troy got up and went outside to look in the shed and found a spade and placed it by the back door, just in case Kodi couldn’t see him when Heathcliff brought her out to bury Harry.
“We should go bury him I guess,” Kodi said through her tears.
“Only if you’re ready, I mean we could leave it until tomorrow Kodi if you want?” he said to her very quietly.
“I don’t actually want to bury him here Heathcliff, I don’t own this place and I’ll never be able to come back to see him once I leave, and I…” Kodi broke into a fresh bout of tears.
“Sssh Kodi don’t worry about that for now. I know what, if you want we could bury him at my house by the sunflower garden, would you like that?”
“Yup,” was all Kodi could manage to say.
Heathcliff took her by the arm, led her out of the house and across the driveway to the fence. As they climbed the fence, Troy waved goodbye to Heathcliff and headed off home to Ruby and Tay.
Heathcliff held Harry as Kodi climbed the fence and just as she was climbing down the other side her foot slipped, but instead of crying she laughed, “Hey it’s me who’s supposed to laugh when you fall off fences, not you,” he helped pull her to her feet again, gently placed Harry back in her arms and they crossed the paddock to his place.
Once they got there Heathcliff led her to the same chair she had sat in the night she had stayed when she had cut her foot. Kodi just sat there with Harry in her arms cradling him like he was the most precious thing in the entire world, in fact in any world. She began to cry again and felt guilty for even laughing when she’d fallen from the fence, “How could I laugh when my best friend is dead?”
Heathcliff’s heart went out to Kodi as he watched her from the kitchen while he waited for the jug to boil. As he stood there watching her, any doubts he had previously held, no matter how slight, completely melted away as though they had never been there. He shut his eyes and he said, “Please let it work out this time, please, if my work has meant anything, if my loyalty has meant anything at all then please show us how to make it work out this time.”

When Heathcliff returned to the room with the coffee/hot chocolate drinks Kodi was rubbing her faced gently against Harry’s fur. Heathcliff grabbed the stereo remote and put some music on just in case she really didn’t want to talk at all, “At least the silence will be filled with something other than her tears.”
A familiar tune floated out to cushion the silence and as soon as Kodi heard it she said to him quietly, “I wish there was music I have no memories attached to, you know, something that’s just sound, maybe even something to make new memories to, but not this.”
“Have you ever heard of Mazzy Star?” asked Heathcliff.
“Who?” asked Kodi.
“Mazzy Star, hold on a moment and I’ll put it on,” he said as he went to the stereo and put the CD into the player. He then went and sat back down on the footstool in front of her and then the music started. Kodi thought to herself, “This woman’s voice sounds like something you’d hear in a heavenly choir, and the song I recognise the lyrics, oh yeah, Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones.” “This is the most beautiful song I have ever heard, it’s just so…like a mountain stream, crystal clear and clean, it’s just so beautiful. Mazzy Star?”
“Aha, you like it then? I thought you would, something new, something not attached to anything you have ever known. I like her voice; it’s just divine, especially in this song. Just so you know, I don’t have any memories attached to this either.”
“But by the time it is finished I will. This will be the song that will always remind me of you Kodi.”
Kodi sat there in the chair listening to the song as Heathcliff remained on the footstool in front of her and just listened too. Neither said anything until the song was finished, both lost in their own private thoughts as they stared at each other.
“So where did you grow up?” asked Heathcliff. He knew everything about her but he was curious as to what she might say about how she’d grown up.
“I lived with lots of different people in a lot of different places,” she said as honestly as she could without going into too many details. She didn’t have the energy for details anyway.
“Must have been difficult for you?” Heathcliff said.
“No, it was okay. I got to know a lot of people, see a lot of different ways of living, and I saw a whole bunch of stuff I might otherwise not have seen. I mean it wasn’t the most fun thing to keep moving all the time, but it got to the point where it would have been too scary to stop for too long. That probably sounds strange to you.”
“No, it doesn’t sound strange, but it doesn’t sound like fun and it doesn’t sound like it was easy either.”
“Well I guess it all depends on what you’re used to, just seemed normal to me. There were other kids living the same way so it wasn’t that different to other lives in some aspects.”
“But didn’t you ever want your own family? A mother, father and siblings?”
“Sometimes I did, but even that’s not all it’s cracked up to be, I mean my own sister wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs.”
They sat there in silence for a little while longer just listening to another song, and then Kodi patted Harry’s head and said, “I hadn’t fed him yet, he wanted his food and I was too busy reading to get up and do it. If I’d just got up and done it, he wouldn’t have been…” Fresh tears rolled down her face. Heathcliff didn’t say anything to her and just let her speak.
“Why do humans do that? Why do the insignificant things become so important when something like this happens? I mean you remember everything you didn’t do that you should have, and all the stupid stuff you did do seems so pointless. It’s like my sister Marli, I feel really guilty Heathcliff because there was a part of me that really hated her, I mean I really really hated her.”
“Don’t get fear, frustration and regret accidentally confused with hating the way a person behaves. It’s not like you wanted her dead or wished her any ill-will. “Obviously I didn’t hate Harry, I hated what he did.”
“Now why would he say that? Does he think I did something to Marli?”
“No, but sometimes I wished she’d just go away, sometimes I wondered why she had to be my sister, my twin. Want to hear something really stupid?”
“I’ll listen to anything you have to say Kodi, but nothing you say is stupid to me, I mean that.”
Heathcliff noticed her staring at the photo of him and Kaleb with the stogies in their mouth and added, “Even if it is about me having my photo taken with arch enemies.”
Kodi smiled and then said, “When I was little, when my sister and I were little I used to think that what I saw when I looked at her was what people saw when they looked at me. As an adult I was scared of that very same thing Heathcliff, that people would stare at her and think that they were seeing me too, that I was exactly the same as her and I wasn’t. I wasn’t anything like her. She could be so mean you know, just so very mean.”
“She was always that way?” he asked knowing full well that she had been.
“I don’t know, I mean I lived with her until I was four and then we got separated. We didn’t see each other again until we were adults, so I don’t know what she was like in between those times, but she was mean when we were small and she was mean when we got back together again. I thought she was mean when we were little because maybe I did things to make her mean, but when I met her again as an adult, eventually I realised it was just the way she was. I was no angel either mind you, I could do dumb mean things as much as anyone else could, but not usually on purpose. It was like she didn’t even know that she was being mean.”
“Oh Kodi, she knew exactly what she was doing.”
“Perhaps you’re too close to the situation to be able to make an accurate judgement on her behaviour or why she did the things she did?” said Heathcliff who was trying not to feed into any mindset she may or may not have about her sister.
“Do you think that there are people out in the world who just hurt people because they enjoy it, because they get off on it?” she asked staring directly at him.
“Yes I do. I think there are, no let me rephrase that, I know that there are people who get off on hurting other people Kodi. People who are weaker than them, smaller than them or people who force them to face their own inadequacies simply by existing.”
“So do you think my sister was like that?” she asked as she gazed down upon Harry and kissed his head.
“Careful here Heathcliff, answer this honestly but don’t say too much. Oh the juggling act, I never was much of a juggler. Where’s Troy when I need him?”
“What I think at this moment is not important, it’s what you think that matters Kodi. Do you want me to hold Harry for a little while?”
“No thanks Heathcliff, I want to hold him. I think my sister wanted to be nice, but I think that maybe she just didn’t know how to be nice. Maybe she got so hurt by other stuff once I left; you know things I don’t know about? That can change a person Heathcliff, bad things can change people.”
“Yes you are correct, but you said that even when you were small and still with her that she was mean then.”
Kodi looked at him for a moment and thought about what he said, “I shouldn’t be sitting here saying bad things about my sister, especially since she can’t exactly defend herself now can she?” Kodi smiled at Heathcliff, hoping he’d excuse her judgmental frame of mind considering the circumstances.
“Why can she not defend herself Kodi?”
“Oh shit! Of course she can’t, she’s dead you dope Heathcliff. That was a dumb mistake, even for you! Hang on, she’s never told me that herself.”
“She’d dead Heathcliff, remember?” Kodi was surprised he would forget something like that.
“Actually Kodi, you never told me your sister was dead,” he said tentatively.
“Did I not?” she was quite sure she had told him, “Maybe I didn’t?”
“No,” said Heathcliff shaking his head.
“Oh, gosh, I thought I had. Wow, sorry, I haven’t been thinking very straight for a while now.”
“No, it’s okay Kodi, you’ve obviously been under a lot of stress, and tonight certainly hasn’t helped now has it?”
“No, but that’s not your fault, it just happened.”
Heathcliff just stared deeply into her blue eyes and thought how alive they looked, they were definitely pain filled eyes and he knew better than anyone that she’d seen a lot in her years. But she didn’t have a frigid soul and she wasn’t cold, her eyes were blue, but they were warm sunny day blue sky blue.
“Anyone who thinks blue eyes mean a frigid soul are very closed minded.”
Then Heathcliff decided to take control of the situation, “How about we put Harry in Lenore’s sleeping basket and we’ll bury him in the morning?”
“Okay,” said Kodi as she held Harry out slightly away from her. Heathcliff leaned forward and gently took Harry from Kodi and laid him in Lenore’s basket.
He then went and sat back down in front of her and just looked at her took her hands in his and then said, “Do you want to go for a walk, the moon’s out, it’s nice outside, let’s just go for a walk and get some fresh air?”
Kodi nodded her head, and as Heathcliff stood up, she got up too and he took her hand and led her to the door. She felt really nervous because she’d discovered that she really really liked him. Even though he’d run over her cat, she still felt drawn to him.
“How about we go and get you a jumper from my room? It’s a tiny bit chilly out there, evenings get like that around here sometimes. Except I guess you know that after your little jaunt out in the storm,” he said smiling.
They went down to his room and he pulled a couple of jumpers out from his draw, “Brown, black or white?” he said showing them to her.
“White please,” she said.
He walked over to her and slipped the jumper over her head and as she slipped her arms through the sleeves he stepped back and said to her, “Wow, that jumper looks better on you than it does me.”
They headed out of his room, through the lounge and onto the porch, “Is Albion coming with us?” she asked as she stared down at the sleeping dog.
“No, he can stay home this time, let’s just make it you and me and no dog to trip over?” he said laughing.
As they headed across the lawn past the birdbath she said, “The moon is so beautiful I’ve always loved the moon.” She was trying to make conversation with Heathcliff and he responded with, “Yeah it is pretty amazing isn’t it?”
“I love that sound too, wind chimes. I thought I heard them the night I stayed here,” she said as a gentle breeze caused the wind chimes in the tree to jingle. They walked all the way down the country road to the bridge where they stopped and listened to the water rushing by underneath it.
“Does that river go past that other place?” she asked.
“What other place?” Heathcliff asked.
“Where Charles and them live,” said Kodi staring up at him as they leaned against the concrete bridge railings.
“Oh no, this isn’t that river, that river is miles away, you sure hiked a fair distance that night my dear. You are miles and miles away from that place if you’re worried about being safe.”
“What if they decide to leave where they are supposed to stay, what if they decided they wanted to hurt someone?” she asked.
“They can’t leave that place Kodi,” he assured her.
“But what if they decide to just leave, I mean how would you know?”
“How do I explain it to her? How do I tell her that there is a river that flows right around that place, a river they would never survive crossing? How do I tell her that they know that there is no way out? If I tell her that, how do I explain her getting back from there with Ed? How do I explain the bridge and the way it works? I need to tell her something, perhaps I can liken it to, yeah that will explain it adequately.”
“Heathcliff?” she asked looking up at him.
“They are monitored somewhat similarly to when someone is under house arrest in the city, you know how they wear those electronic tags? Like that.”
“So you’d know if one of them wandered away from there pretty fast?”
“Exceptionally fast, it has never happened and it never will, that much I can tell you Kodi. Things don’t work here the same way as they do in the city, it’s very much different in a lot of ways and much attention is paid to the protection of the innocent and vulnerable.”
“Shall we walk down that way?” she asked pointing back toward the way they had come.
“Sure,” he said, “and maybe I’ll pick you some flowers from the grade, although I can’t guarantee you any particular colours because I can’t see them any better than you.”
“Hey I know, we’ll pick a bunch each and try to stick to one colour, the person who gets the most of that one colour wins,” she said.
“Wins what?” asked Heathcliff.
“I don’t know, does there have to be a prize?” said Kodi.
“No, I guess I can settle for the mere satisfaction of winning,” he said laughing at her, “so choose your colour before we get there Miss Madison.”
“Purple,” she said.
“Yellow,” he said.
By that stage Heathcliff was walking with his arm around her middle and she seemed comfortable with that. All the lights were on at his brother’s house as they went past, and if the situation had been different he may well have taken her over there to say hello and to see if he and Ruby wanted to join them on their walk. But the situation wasn’t different, it was perilous at best, and Heathcliff knew that.
They stopped in the grade and wandered around in the moonlight trying to pick their colour of choice from the flowers, but Kodi had made it hard for herself because purple, orange, blue and red all just looked dark under the moonlight. Heathcliff’s yellows stood out because they were very light in colour even under the moonlight.
“I think somehow that you have this one won Heathcliff,” she said laughing.
“You’re conceding already?” he asked surprised.
“Yup, I can’t tell what colours I have but I bet they’re not all purple?”
“Okay so the game’s off, but let’s join what we have together in one big bunch,” he said.
So Kodi handed all her flowers to Heathcliff and he joined them all together into one bunch and handed them to her, “For madam,” he said and he kissed her on the cheek.
They were on their way back up the driveway by the time Heathcliff got up the courage to make his move. Harry had dutifully served his purpose, and now it was up to Heathcliff to make a real connection with Kodi. He stopped walking and at first Kodi didn’t realise and kept going.
“Ah come back here,” he said as he gently pulled her back toward him, but the gentle jerking backward made her lose her grip on her flowers.
“Oh Heathcliff I dropped all the flowers I picked and the ones you picked for me too,” she said as she saw them all lying on the ground.
“Never mind, we’ll pick some more tomorrow.”
Kodi already knew something was going to happen with him, she had somehow always known. As much as she had tried to tell herself he was an ogre, selfish and mean, she had always known he was the complete opposite.
But Kodi hated this part, the first kiss, what if she screwed it up, what if he didn’t like the way she kissed him back, “and what happens when he decides to change his mind?”
New relationships are fun and exciting to begin with, but what happens when it all falls apart? Kodi thought about how whenever she got into something new she’d look back and wonder how she’d existed up until the point of meeting that person, and when it was over, she’d wonder how she was going to go on without them? The days seemed to stretch out before her like an endless abyss of time; “Forever seems so huge when a relationship ends.”
Then Heathcliff put his arms around her waist and pulled her in close to him, “What are you thinking Kodi?” he asked her.
“Nothing,” she lied.
“Nothing means everything,” he said playfully.
She felt her heartbeat getting faster inside her chest as he pressed his body into hers, and that was when she realised how much taller he was than her; he was looking down on her.
“You’re so tall,” she said giggling.
“You’re vertically challenged,” he said laughing back at her.
“I’m useless at math, but I’m picking that means I’m short?” she asked.
“Actually you’re not that short, 5.6 is okay…for a girl,” he said sheepishly.
He looked at her face in the moonlight and he leaned in toward her as he gently let his lips graze hers. She immediately relaxed into his embrace and so he kissed her a little more until he was very gently touching her tongue with his. Kodi immediately felt like her entire body had caught fire, just a gentle burning fire, something she had never felt before. She felt herself melting into him and usually she was incredibly uncomfortable in that closer proximity to anyone, but for some reason with him it just felt good. Heathcliff then cupped her face with his hands, “On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”
Kodi knew this line really well and answered, “Yes.’
And Heathcliff responded with, “I bet you say that to all the boys?”
Then they both busted up laughing, “You seriously don’t strike me as the Meatloaf type,” said Kodi between fits of giggling.
“Right back atcha Miss. Madison,” but then Heathcliff grew serious, “Do you want this Kodi, is this something you want?”
“I want to be with you Heathcliff, to get to know you, and for some reason I care about you already. Beyond that well I don’t know what’s going to happen Heathcliff, I don’t want to make mistakes or do anything too soon.”
“That’s all I meant Kodi, I’m not asking you for anything more than for you to let me hold you, just to be with you, spend time with you.”
“I’m scared Heathcliff and I’m not good at this, for some reason I find it incredibly easy to screw things up.”
“I’m a little bit nervous myself to be completely truthful with you.”
Even though he wasn’t actually in the least bit scared for the reasons she was, he wanted her to feel as though they were on equal footing.
“Can we go and sit on the porch swing, maybe listen to some music, look at the moon and just talk?”
“Sure Kodes.”
“Can we pick up my flowers? I really want to keep them,” she said and so Heathcliff crouched down and helped her pick them all up.
They walked back to the house and sat on the porch swing together, Kodi leaning into Heathcliff, her back against his chest, him with his arms around her. She felt so safe in his arms. He gently rocked the swing with his foot as they sat there talking, “Let me know if you start feeling sea sick,” he jokingly said.
“Some times I wonder if my friend is staring up at the moon and thinking about me, do you ever have weird thoughts like that?”
“I’m not sure what you mean Kodes.”
“Doesn’t matter I guess, why are you calling me Kodes?”
“Silly little term of endearment I suppose, and what you said, of course it matters, it matters to you or else you wouldn’t have said it, so maybe you can explain to me what you mean.”
“Just sometimes I wonder about how easily people forget each other that’s all. I mean I had this really close friend, at least I thought he was, and I really trusted him you know? And he just dumped me, like out of the blue just quit speaking to me.”
“Well you know maybe something’s going on with him in his life that you don’t know about, maybe it has nothing to do with anything you did or didn’t do?”
“You sound so much like him, I mean the way you can make things sound so straight forward and uncomplicated, the way you’re trying to make me feel better, that’s the sort of thing he did.”
Kodi started to wriggle around a bit and Heathcliff started to wonder what was up with her, “Are you okay?”
“Yes, well no it feels like there’s something digging into my leg, hang on a sec.” Kodi slipped her hand under the thin cushion by her leg and pulled out a piece of baby apparatus.
“What’s this doing here, it’s a,” she held it up toward the light, “a baby’s dummy,” she said as she held it up with her thumb.
“Dummy? You dummy, that’s not a dummy it’s a pacifier,” Heathcliff chuckled.
“It’s a dummy called so because it’s a pretend bottle therefore a dummy.”
Heathcliff quipped back, “called a pacifier because you put it in a crying baby’s mouth and it pacifies the baby. I suppose they’re both legitimate names, except that I think pacifier sounds nicer.”
“You just rhymed, and anyway more to the point, why have you got a baby dummy?”
“Well, I have a baby,” he said.
“You’ve got a baby?” Kodi was really surprised.
“Yup.”
“So how’d you end up with a baby?”
“I’m minding her for someone, taking care of her for a while.”
“For a friend?”
“Something like that,” Heathcliff nodded his head as he spoke.
“Well what’s her name?”
“Alexi.”
“Alexi? Oh my gosh that’s my favourite girl name, got it from Alexei Romanov, you know the Russian family, they got mixed up with that horrid Rasputin the Russian priest?”
“Gee why does THAT not surprise me?” he smiled inwardly.
“Yeah I believe I’ve read about them, they shot him, poisoned him and then finally bound him and threw him into the river.”
“Did you study them at school?”
“No.”
“No? Just like that no?”
“Yup, but I read about them and pretty much know the story. And ah that lady wasn’t Anastasia, Anastasia died with her family that night in Ipatiev House.”
Kodi adored the sound of Heathcliff’s voice, the way it reverberated against her back as he spoke and sent shivers down her spine.
“How do you know that for certain?” she asked, anything to make him speak again.
“Trust me, I know.”
There it was again as he spoke and she really wanted another kiss, another fire igniting kiss, so she turned her face a little so that her mouth was accessible to him.
“Okay, so did man really land on the moon?”
Heathcliff could tell she was just making conversation, maybe tempting him to kiss her again and as he continued on with the conversation neither of them really had any interest in, he thought about kissing her again.
“What do you think?” he said so close to her mouth that it was barely a whisper.
“No, I think it was all a great hoax.”
“Well you’re wrong, they went there, they did land there.”
“Oh wow, so man walked on the moon? I so owe Voh an apology.”
“I never said that, I just said they landed there, but they never walked on it, that was the part that was the hoax.”
“How do you know all this?” Kodi asked, her breathing becoming more erratic by the second.
“I just do, you’re just going to have to believe me.”
Then Heathcliff put his mouth to hers and their tongues met again, both Heathcliff and Kodi felt the passion between them, and Heathcliff was thinking about the night that he’d seen her in the pool naked. He removed his lips from her mouth and said, “I want to make love to you, Kodi, out here, right here, right now. I don’t know why, but I just don’t want to wait.” He looked intently at Kodi, what would she say? Heathcliff was overtaken with desperation to ensure he wasn’t going to lose this one. He knew he had to do something more than just create a friendship with Kodi, it had to be more than that, and it had to be something that had the potential to tie her here for sure.
“I’m about half crazy, Heathcliff, I want you too but I don’t know if I’m ready for anything else, I’m so scared and nervous and…”
But Kodi didn’t get another word in because Heathcliff took her into his arms and began making sure this would be one memory Kodi would retain. He put his mouth to hers and began sliding his hand up her bare stomach toward her breasts, but Kodi broke free from Heathcliff, and said, “I don’t think this is a good idea, and what about birth control?”
“Don’t believe in it,” he casually said, as he put his mouth upon hers again.
“But, Heathcliff, I might…”
Kodi was overtaken by the worries that consumed people in the world where she came from; the place she thought she was still in. Heathcliff knew exactly where they were, and pregnancy in a place like this was never cause for concern and never precipitated a disaster, to the contrary, new life was celebrated, so he was not concerned. But he had let his concern that he not coerce her into anything go by the by. Heathcliff was coercing for all he was worth, but not out of just his own selfish needs, but more out of concern that if he didn’t do something then she might be lost, just like Annie.
Kodi wanted to be with him…and she didn’t. She’d made the same dreadful mistake over and over with men in the past, sleeping with them before she’d even really got to know them that well. Men didn’t seem to mind so much that they didn’t know her, but then some of them never wanted to see her again either. That was the part she totally didn’t understand; they viewed her as ‘easy’ because she’d slept with them early on, but that ‘easy’ status was something they never extended to include themselves. A man who slept with a woman without knowing her too well was a stud, she, on the other hand was simply a slut. “What’s that saying?” Kodi asked herself, “Oh that’s right, every man wants to sleep with a virgin but every man wants to marry one too.”
“Don’t worry about it, Kodes, nothing bad’s going to…”
“But, Heathcliff…I…” she realised she was going to get nowhere with him so she bit him on the neck, not enough to hurt but enough to make him pay attention. He tickled her and said, “Why I OTTA!”
Kodi’s smile faded, she looked Heathcliff, jumped up and asked, “What did you just say to me?”
Heathcliff immediately realised his mistake and attempted a retrieve, stood up in front of her with his hands on her shoulders and said, “Stooges?”
She looked into his eyes and it was apparent to her that he was lying through his teeth, “No, Heathcliff, you’re lying to me, only one person in my life has ever said that to me, only one. What’s going on, Heathcliff?”
Heathcliff just stood there, and in a split second of staring straight into her eyes he thought to himself, “I could lie to her, I’d get away with it, she’d never know. It’s just a small lie on the scale of good and bad lies. As if there is such a thing, Heathcliff! No, start out with this girl the way you mean to continue, wherever possible, if it’s not going to be detrimental, if it’s not going to wound her, then tell her the truth.”
“Okay, okay, Kodi, I didn’t tell you the whole truth. I know about your friend Voh, actually that’s not the complete truth either, I know your friend Voh.”
“What? How…how can you…?”
Kodi’s breathing felt restricted, her head started to feel light and the porch warped. Heathcliff caught her just before she hit the ground and he took her inside and put her into his bed. He immediately phoned Troy to come over; “I’ve blown it.”
Troy arrived within five minutes and rushed into the house panicked and breathless, “What happened?” asked Troy as Heathcliff shut the door behind him.
“I said something to her and she recognised it as coming from Voh, I tried a save but for some reason Troy, she knew. So I told her that I knew Voh.”
“Please tell me you didn’t tell her that?”
“Yes, Troy, I told her that. What’s the chance she’s going to wake up and remember?”
“What’s the chance of you not making the same mistake again?”
“Not good.”
Heathcliff ran his hand through his hair, “Troy, I’m thinking I have to do something to divert her attention away from Voh, I have to undo this, she can’t be allowed to remember that I know Voh. I asked her to let me, well you know? Maybe I should just let her think we did anyway? She’ll be so busy being mad at herself, and she wouldn’t know we didn’t and ah, as underhanded as it is, it will completely make this slip up with Voh fade into obscurity. What do you think?”
“I think you’re insane,” Troy said chuckling, but when he saw the look on Heathcliff’s face he said, “Oh, you’re serious.”
“I have to do something, what else can I do?”
“I think you’re crazy. She won’t believe it, Heathcliff, well unless you make it convincing, but you’re not going to do that, right?”
“I’m picking the last thing she’s going to remember is me asking her if she wanted to let me make love to her. It would seem a natural progression in her mind to wake up naked beside me in the morning.”
“Are you insane? You’re going to pull a ruse on her? And anyway, I can’t believe you asked her already.”
“It was the heat of the moment, you know what that’s like.”
“Well maybe your kooky idea is worth a try, Heathcliff, but I don’t know what’s going to be worse, her waking up and remembering this or her waking up after having supposedly slept with you and having no memory of that. But I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time a girl forgot she’d been with you, eh, Heathcliff?” Troy teased trying to lighten his brother’s mood.
“This isn’t funny, Troy, we have got to tell her everything and I think it needs to be soon, it’s too messy and it’s too complicated.
“Yeah well it would have been a whole lot simpler if we’d just had Ruby to deal with and not him too. Do you really think she’s that hung up on him?” asked Troy.
“I don’t know if it’s so much hung up as it is that she doesn’t remember it accurately.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you remember at the funeral one of the girls, may have even been Ruby, talking about him sending her a really horrible e-mail?”
“Oh yeah, what about it?”
“He was really arrogantly unkind to her in it, if we could somehow find it and load it into her PC, maybe it might jog her brain?”
“If she remembers him being nasty, she may well let go.”
“She had already let go of him, she just doesn’t remember it. She didn’t want anything to do with him once she got that e-mail.”
“How do you know?”
“I overheard Xaan and Chas outside the apartment that afternoon outside the house talking about it,” said Heathcliff.
“Well how bad was the e-mail?”
“Ugly,” said Heathcliff.
“Okay, well I’ll talk to Ruby about it, see what she remembers about it.”
“Oh yeah ring mother and warn her not to bring Alexi here without ringing me first, okay, Troy?”
“Okay, ah, does Kodi know about Alexi?”
“Yeah she knows I have a baby, but she doesn’t know whose it is.”
“Good, keep it that way. I got to get back to Ruby; she’s starting to get very suspicious. She can’t understand my hesitation in introducing her to you, I just told her she needs to settle in properly first.”
Heathcliff saw Troy out, and then went back inside again. He sat in the lounge for quite a while pondering the wisdom of pulling a ruse on Kodi. Should he, shouldn’t he, what was the worst thing that could happen? In the end he decided it would be better to create a ruse than not. It was difficult for Heathcliff to even consider doing anything remotely dishonest, and if Kodi came out and asked him straight then he’d tell her the truth.
Heathcliff turned out the lights, went into his room, stripped down as naked as he could get while still remaining decent. He then crawled into bed beside Kodi, and while she slept he relieved her of some of her clothes too, and then he held her while she slept.
He listened to her breathing and wondered what she was seeing in her sleep, and then he felt such empathy for her. As he breathed in the scent of her hair, he basked in the warmth of her body and he realised he loved her; he had loved her since the very first time he saw her. He lay there recalling how much he had enjoyed holding Annie as she had slept, the way he had listened to her breathing. Heathcliff wrapped his arms tightly around Kodi and pulled her closer to him as he gazed out at the moon in the sky while he cried the last tears he would ever cry for Annie. “I’m sorry, Annie, but I have to let you go. I don’t know where you are or even if you exist any more, no one can tell me that, but I must let you go, I have to move on with my life. Goodbye, Annie.”

He nuzzled his face into the back of Kodi’s hair and the last thing he remembered was Kodi’s head upon his chest and seeing the moon through the window bright in the sky.
"Heathcliff, Heathcliff, where’s Annie?” Troy was shaking him trying to make him wake up, “WHERE’S ANNIE?”
He had fallen asleep on the porch swing in the sun and was confused by being woken out of deep sleep, “What do you mean where’s Annie, she’s inside with Tay.”
“She’s not inside, Heathcliff, where has she gone?”
Ed came running into the house panic stricken, “She’s back there, she’s back there in the room and we have to get there, NOW!”
Heathcliff jumped up off the porch swing, “Take Tay to my mother,” and he raced with Troy to the car.
They’d driven the trip to the city in record time.
Ems and Joe had remained behind at the house with Tay, the entire time they paced, worried, talked scenarios through and tried to comfort each other. Ed warned them that there probably wasn’t going to be a good outcome, “If she’s in that room, then she’s not coming out again.”
Troy and Heathcliff made the walk through the busy foyer, into the lift and up to the floor that had rooms 1200-1265 and straight to room 1215. Annie had already gone in, it was probably too late, but never to be disheartened, Heathcliff entered the room, hoping against hope that it wasn’t. He loved Annie, they were going to make a life together, and they were already on the path to doing that.
Annie’s family were in there with her preparing to do what needed to be done, everyone was crying, even her cheating husband, and there was a pall of dankness about the room, hanging over it, unseen, but there nevertheless.
Heathcliff was angry to see ‘him’ there crying over Annie, it was his fault in the first place. And there she was Annie’s best friend Cinnem parading around grief stricken at the impending loss of her good friend. The friend she cared so much about that she slept with her husband and then just lay there smiling at her when she’d been caught. No one else had ever heard what had really happened on that day because Annie had the accident before she could ever tell anyone.
Heathcliff despised the pair of them.
Then he gazed upon the marital disaster that was John, and Annie’s sister Tiffany, and he just shook his head.
Troy leaned up against the wall, he already knew it was too late, Saul had told him about another time just like this one, a young man…it had been terribly sad, and so too would this be. Troy knew that Annie would have been pulling tubes out of her arms by now, the beeping had ceased at least two minutes ago, but she was still, kind of peaceful, but still nonetheless. He could have said something to Heathcliff, but nothing would ever have convinced him to let her go without trying right up until the very end.
Heathcliff walked to the side of the bed and he stared down into Annie’s face, she was looking straight back up at him. “Annie, it’s time to come back home now. Annie, can you hear me Annie?” Heathcliff sat on the side of the bed, “Annie it’s over, come home with me now, Tay waits for you, our whole life waits for you, Annie? Annie?”
Troy walked across the room to his brother, “Heathcliff, she’s gone, we’ve lost her.”
“No, I don’t believe you, she’s still here, Troy, she’s still here. Annie? Can you see me, can you hear me?”
“She’s not here, Heathcliff, it’s been ten minutes, she’s not coming.”
“NO!” roared Heathcliff, as he lashed out at Troy, missed and hit the cardiac machine, which he sent crashing into the wall. Heathcliff then picked up a bouquet of flowers and threw it at Cinnem who was terrified beyond belief to see flowers launching themselves at her seemingly at will. The sudden unexplained violent movement of the machine and flowers scared the living daylights out of the people in the room and they all exited speedily.
“Heathcliff, it’s over, come on, we have got to go home, Tay needs you.”
But Heathcliff wouldn’t budge, “I’m not leaving her, Troy, how can I leave her? How can I go back to Tay and tell him his mother is gone?”
“Tay is just a baby, Heathcliff, he’s not going to know, he won’t remember her.”
That was the worse thing Troy could have said, but he was still quite young and learning how to console people was not his forte back then. He tended to be very matter of fact and straight to the point because true grief had never really touched Heathcliff or him before. It was through the experience of losing Annie, and through Heathcliff’s subsequent behaviour, that Troy learned most of what he knew, and he was better for it, although he would have preferred to never have experienced something like that. The whole experience had made Troy a little wary of when it would be his turn, could this happen to him too?
“This seldom ever happens, Troy, only once before,” consoled Saul.
For days Heathcliff sat in that room, and every time someone had wanted to use the room they were frightened out of their minds by the unexplained occurrences in there. Even with Annie being already buried in the ground Heathcliff couldn’t leave because the room was the last tie he had to Annie and he just couldn’t imagine how he was supposed to move forward without her. He was even angry with his mother for giving him a name so inherent with tragedy, her Heathcliff had too lost the love of his life and he had never recovered from the loss. He’d stood there violently smashing his head against an Ash tree, not dissimilar to Heathcliff throwing things around the empty room.
After four days of refusing to move, it had been Heathcliff’s father Joe who had been sent to talk sense into him, and Saul had gone along to be with Joe. Eventually they managed to talk Heathcliff into leaving the room and returning home to Tay. As Saul had explained to him, “At the end of the day Heathcliff, Annie exercised her free will not to listen to us, not to come with us. You didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing you could have done differently.”
Heathcliff was devastated by the loss of Annie, and he stopped sleeping and then he stopped eating. Ems had become concerned about her son Heathcliff who looked more like a wild savage than a man by that time. Heathcliff couldn’t bear to be around Tay or to be responsible for Tay, so in the middle of the night during a ferocious storm he relinquished all responsibility for the child and he ran.
Once he returned he refused to have anything to do with Tay and abandoned him permanently to his younger brother. He continued on in his responsibility as a helper after taking some time out, and he always fulfilled his role dutifully, but it was as though a piece of him had disappeared right along with Annie. It was around that time too that he had relinquished all responsibility for the ones he had watched over for years.
Quite a few people who he helped transitioned had commented on how sad Heathcliff appeared to be, and Ed became quite concerned about him.
That was when Joe had told him about a friendship he’d had with a young girl many years ago before Heathcliff was born, before he’d met Ems, before he’d even come to this place. She’d been a young girl, quite a bit younger than him in fact, but she’d clicked with him immediately and she’d made off with a sizable piece of his heart too. The girl was talented, extremely so, photography and writing and Joe had been sure she would get far in her chosen field. A part of Joe had loved her dearly and he had always planned to tell her, but her life had been unfortunately cut short. An act of violence had snuffed out the life she had, and he had thought he might never recover from the loss of her.
“Things happened that we just don’t understand Heathcliff, things we’re never meant to understand and you have to just move on. But look Heathcliff, I came here and I met your mother, my soul mate. I even got to have you and Troy, and you boys and your mother have been the joy of my life, Heathcliff. Sometimes life feels like it’s not going to get any better, but the best may yet be ahead of you Heathcliff, you just never know. But hiding away in this house, in this yard with your birds, Albion and Lenore is not going to ease you through what has happened with Annie. It’s not going to help you move on with your life. You have to let her go son and you have to move forward, and if you can’t do it for yourself than at least do it for your mother because you are breaking her heart. She’s not eating or sleeping for worry over you, and cry, why I have never seen a woman shed such tears.”
That had done it, knowing he was breaking his mother’s heart, and he’d vowed to his father that he’d try to make more of an effort. The next day he’d shown up to Joe and Em’s place clean-shaven and ready to try and move on with his life, but Annie had taken her toll on Heathcliff.
Kodi awoke to the sound of Albion whining to go outside, and the sun was just starting to climb up into the sky. As she lay there she realised she was next to naked and in bed with Heathcliff who was, as far as she could tell, also as naked as the day he was born.
She extricated herself from his embrace and edged her way toward the side of the bed trying very carefully not to wake him. She looked around for her clothes and couldn’t find them anywhere, so she grabbed a shirt from Heathcliff’s chair and donned that.
“I don’t remember him making love to me,” she said to herself, “and there’s nothing about me to suggest he did, but he must have, why else would I be in bed with him almost completely naked? So much for getting to know the guy properly eh Voh? It would appear the girl has gone and done it again!” Kodi was confused, but the ruse had the desired effect, she was so busy being caught up in not remembering Heathcliff making love to her that she had no memory of Heathcliff’s terrible blunder that had necessitated the ruse in the first place.
Kodi had a drink of water and looked outside the kitchen window, the day looked like it was going to be a real stunner. She thought it might be nice to enjoy the early coolness of the morning, so she decided to go for a walk, she was still wearing only Heathcliff’s shirt, but she knew no one else would be around, so she thought, “What the heck?”
She headed down the driveway past the trees and the wind chimes, and on her way out of the driveway she saw a small bunch of flowers that had been dropped the night before. “He mustn’t have been able to see those ones when he picked them up for me. If I can remember the flowers then why don’t I remember being with him? I vaguely remember him asking me if I wanted to, but how could I forget something as monumental as sleeping with him?”
Kodi wandered out onto the road by the grade thinking she’d pick some wildflowers. The flowers looked exceptionally beautiful in the morning light, the colours all seemed rich, bright and full. She was just picking a purple one when she heard a familiar voice, “Marli, Marli Madison, is that you? Oh my gosh, what are you doing here? When did you get here? I didn’t think you were coming here?”
Kodi looked up and stared straight into the face of Ruby. “When did I get here? What are YOU even doing here?” asked Kodi, so shocked to meet up with someone she knew and so far away from home.
“What? What am I doing here? You KNOW what I’m doing here, but Troy told me you wouldn’t be coming here at all. Where’s Kodi?”
“I’ve been here for weeks, and how do you know Troy? What do you mean I hadn’t arrived yet? Arrived where? Why are you calling me…”“Maybe you are imagining this Kodi? That being the case, let her call you whatever she wants to call you.”
“I live with him, Marli, in the white house over there,” said Ruby as she pointed to a house that Kodi couldn’t see. Kodi stared over in the direction Ruby was pointing in and all she could see were paddocks.
“I told you that you couldn’t ruin the relationship I have with Troy, so how does that make you feel you cruel woman?”
“She must still be snorting, but she looks more cleared eye than I’ve ever seen her. This is all so bizarre that this can’t be real! No, I must be imagining all of this, but why imagine Ruby of all people? And why would I imagine that Ruby would EVER get me confused with Marli? Maybe because it is one of my worst fears realised, being mistaken for Marli! Yeah Ruby’s got to be snorting, but why would Troy put up with that? He doesn’t strike me as the type, and why wouldn’t he tell me about being with Ruby? No, I’m imagining this, I must be. But still, I’m not going to let my imagination get away with this that easy.” “I’m sorry, how am I cruel? What did I ever do to you?” asked Kodi. “This whole conversation has no basis in reality whatsoever, so why am I getting so upset?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you couldn’t just leave her alone could you? It wasn’t enough that you made her feel small and stupid at every opportunity you got, you had to go and…”
“I’m sorry, you said that you live with Troy? And in a house that doesn’t even exist? You really need to knock it off, Ruby, because you’re frying your brain. There’s no house over there, it’s just…”
“It’s right there, look at where I’m pointing, Marli,” Ruby pointed rather forcefully to the middle of what appeared to Kodi to be nothing.
Kodi put her hand up to her head and looked back over to the paddock and that was when she saw the house again, the same house she thought she’d seen a while ago.
“Okay, maybe I’m not imagining this, there’s that house.”“How did you meet Troy?” Kodi was completely confused.
“I met him at the funeral, you remember the funeral right?” Ruby was perplexed that Marli couldn’t even remember that there had been a funeral.
“Okay this is becoming more bizarre by the second, I was at the funeral, they all talked to me at the funeral, Chas, John, Kate, the lot of them. What is up with Ruby? Better still, what is up with me?”“How can I forget my sister’s funeral? Kind of stands out a bit.”
“What, Marli? But Kodi’s not…Marli, Kodi’s… it wasn’t…”
“It wasn’t what?” Kodi stared at Ruby defiantly.
“RUBY!” shouted Troy from the driveway to the white house.
“ANNIE!”
Heathcliff awoke and slowly opened his eyes, and he was aware he’d called out her name. He yawned and lay there for a split second longer before he remembered the events from the night before. He breathed in sharply, sat up panic-stricken and said, “Where’s Kodi?”
He jumped out of bed just as the telephone rang, and he quickly dressed himself as he rushed to answer the phone, “Yup?”
“End of your driveway now, hurry, Heathcliff.”
Heathcliff heard the panic in Troy’s voice and knew it could only mean one thing. He hurriedly slipped his other sneaker onto his foot, stumbled out the door, down the steps on the porch and then he began to run. He saw the flowers on the driveway from the night before. Heathcliff had half a thought to stop and pick them up, “What?” he asked himself as he pondered the stupidity of thinking of stopping to pick up flowers when he had to get to the end of the driveway as fast as he could.
Half way down the driveway he could see the blonde Ruby talking to the dark haired Kodi, and he thought, “Oh no, it’s over!”
Then he heard Troy boom out Ruby’s name, and he saw Ruby turn to face him. Heathcliff knew he needed to think of something really good, and fast. Something that would ensure no more conversation would be had between Ruby and Kodi. He ran up to Kodi and reached her just as Troy reached Ruby, and he hoped Troy would play along as he launched his verbal assault at Kodi.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD DRESSED LIKE THIS?”
Kodi was really shocked by Heathcliff’s outburst, and she was confused by the conversation with Ruby. She looked to Ruby, Troy and then Heathcliff.
Troy felt such a surge of pity for Kodi who looked just like a little girl who’d been caught by someone doing something she had no idea she wasn’t supposed to be doing. He had half a thought to just put it all out in the open then and there, but Kodi was Heathcliff’s concern, and he still had Ruby to deal with. Ruby was going to have many questions too.
Heathcliff looked at Troy and shook his head and Troy knew to just keep quiet and let him handle the situation his own way, and so he nodded back. Ruby looked from one brother to the other, “You’re Heathcliff?”
“It would appear so,” he snapped at Ruby, his anger of the night before brought to life by the mere sight of the girl. In the split second he stared into the face of Ruby, he wanted to yell at her, he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her look at Kodi. He wanted to make Ruby see and understand what she had caused. Then he remembered that Ruby was as much of a victim in the situation as Kodi was, and in that split second, for Ruby he felt only pity. Heathcliff continued to stare at Ruby, as he grabbed Kodi by the arm and began walking her back toward the house.
Kodi tripped and stumbled through the long grass and flowers, as Heathcliff dragged her away from Ruby. Kodi looked back at Ruby and saw that she was crying and she saw Troy take her into his arms and hold her. Troy was saying something to Ruby and Kodi strained her ears to hear what it was, but then Troy’s voice was drowned out by Heathcliff, as he told her to watch where she was walking or else she would fall.
As he walked her up the driveway, Troy and Ruby could hear Heathcliff loudly and strongly admonishing Kodi for her lack of etiquette. Troy gently took Ruby by the arm and led her back to their house where he and Ed sat down and explained the whole sorry story to her.
“Kodi, you can’t go walking down the road dressed only in a shirt, its not the done thing,” scolded Heathcliff. “I can see your panties for crying out loud.”
Kodi reached behind her to see how far the shirt was covering her at the back and she exclaimed, “You can’t see anything, Heathcliff, it’s covering everything.”
The wind chimes rang gently in the trees as they passed by them and were soon drowned out when Heathcliff said, “I can SEE through it, Kodi, I can see your butt, your nipples the whole deal, and my BROTHER got an eyeful as well.”
“HEATHCLIFF!” Kodi was shocked by the way he was speaking, but then she looked at her front to see if she could see through the shirt and she asked, “Can you?” “Oh my gosh, maybe he can see through it? I’m so embarrassed!”
Kodi felt even more embarrassed when Heathcliff said, “Yes.”
But he wasn’t exactly complaining about it, she was kind of cute in his shirt almost stark naked underneath, “but it isn’t about cuteness, this is life and death,” Heathcliff reminded himself. Heathcliff led her across the porch and gently shoved her in the lounge and then let her go. Then Kodi’s confusion began to spill over into anger. She stood there staring at Heathcliff for a moment, then crossed her arms and asked, “Why did you call me Marli?”
Heathcliff was a little surprised by the question, “I didn’t call you Marli, I called you Kodi.”
Kodi’s leg began to jig as she stood there arms crossed determined to get to the bottom of what had just occurred, “Yes you DID, you called me Marli.”
“No Kodi, I did NOT call you Marli, why would I?”
Kodi stood there for a moment feeling extremely confused, she was sure he had, “Didn’t you? Okay, so maybe you didn’t, maybe Ruby did? Yes it was her, she was calling me Marli.”
Heathcliff continued to stand there staring at Kodi determined to keep the conversation well away from what had just happened, “There you go again Kodi, hearing what you want to hear ignoring the truth. Trying to change the subject so that you don’t have to face what’s really going on.” He began to pace backward and forward in front of Kodi who just stood there completely confused by absolutely everything that had happened. “Good, you’ve managed to confuse her, now keep moving her mind away from Ruby and make this about her and you.”
Kodi turned from Heathcliff and just as she was about to walk away from him he said, “I don’t expect to be intimate with you and then wake up in the morning only to discover you’ve gone off somewhere. Then to find you standing out on the side of the road practically stark naked with my brother, well that’s NOT something I EVER want a repeat performance of, am I making myself clear, Kodi?”
Heathcliff tried to feign anger at Kodi’s lack of feeling toward him. He was determined to upset Kodi so much that she’d not want to speak of Ruby to him for fear of setting him off again. “I mean, is this what you do to men, Kodi? Do you have such little regard for men? Do you hold me in such low esteem?”
“Heathcliff, I don’t remember any…”
“Wonderful, she’s just loading the gun for me,” he thought, and then he said, “Oh so NOW you’re going to pretend you don’t even know it happened? Well, Kodi Madison, you sure do know how to cut a man. Go and take a shower, Kodi.”
“Heathcliff, I…”
“Final nail in the coffin time,” he thought to himself as he added, “You have really disappointed me. I thought you had better regard for other people’s feelings than this. Obviously I was mistaken." With that Heathcliff turned his back on Kodi, went outside and sat on the swing waiting nervously to see what her next move would be.
Kodi stood there for a moment longer and felt dreadful for hurting Heathcliff; so dreadful in fact that Ruby was completely erased from her mind for the moment. She then left the room and went and had a shower as Heathcliff had commanded, although being in the bathroom again felt pretty scary. As she stood under the water in the shower she wondered why there was no evidence on her or about her to suggest Heathcliff had even touched her? There was no ‘male scent’ on her at all and she certainly wasn’t ‘messed up’ so had she been with him?
“If he said I did then I must have, I mean he’s really upset at me, but you’d think I’d remember something like that. And what’s Ruby doing here? How does she know Heathcliff, and why did she seem to think I wasn’t here at all? Why does she think I’m Marli? I mean, of all the places she could have gone to get away she comes out here. There’d have to be better odds for winning lotto than of me running into someone I know, and Troy? Doctor Logie said he was a figment of my imagination, yet he’s obviously very real. Or did I just think he was a figment of my imagination, maybe he’s someone I knew really well before and…none of this makes any sense at all. That’s it, I’m going back to find Doctor Logie.”
Kodi finished her shower, got dressed and was resolved to go and get answers once and for all. She wandered out to the kitchen where Heathcliff had made food for her, pancakes and fruit. Kodi thought it a little odd that a man who was angry with her would go to such trouble.
“Time to eat,” he said.
“I’m not hungry. I have to go home. I have to feed Harry or he’ll be over here eating more of your birds,” Kodi headed toward the door.
Heathcliff was shocked, “Um Kodi, Harry’s here remember?”
“No he’s not, he’s over home somewhere,” said Kodi.
That was when Heathcliff noticed for sure that Kodi’s memory and thought patterns were becoming more and more confused. He wondered if he should tell her about the cat again or leave it until later? “Make a fuss about her not eating breakfast, stick to the game plan.”
“So what, um, you’re going to run off without even eating?”
“I’m just not…”
“Oh what, so you’re the screw and run type huh?” Even Heathcliff thought that was a terribly crude and mean thing to say to her, considering the circumstances. He actually cringed inside himself, but if he could keep her mind focussed on what she couldn’t remember, then maybe she’d not bring to mind what she could. “Using language like that should surely have some shock value on her, in that she’ll be gob smacked to hear it coming from me, surely?”
“It’s not that, truthfully, Heathcliff,…I…um…”
“You what? Oh I suppose you’re going to go back to your memory loss. I mean does it bring you some kind of comfort, does it assuage the guilt you feel at having slept with me. Is that it, Kodi, you feel guilt?”
“No I um…well yeah if you must know, Heathcliff,” Kodi attempted to choose her words with care, “Don’t blame him. Don’t hurt him. Blame yourself. Make yourself the problem, not him.” “I feel really guilty for having done something so, spur of the moment. I mean I can’t believe I have fallen back into old habits so easily because I promised myself I wouldn’t. I promised Voh…”
“Oh, Kodi Madison, you’re playing along like a star, so what are you REALLY up to?” Heathcliff thought he might as well play along back, anything to keep her focussed on last night and not this morning, that way he wouldn’t have to tell her any more lies, not that he had directly told her any lies at all.
“Voh, VOH? What has that guy got to do with any of this?”
“Heathcliff, I’m good at making mistakes, I make them all the time and I decided I’d think before I did stuff, Voh helped me to realise that I…”
“So what, you think you made a mistake? I’m a mistake? And you think that the best way to deal with it is to run away from it?”
“Heathcliff…”
“Okay, Kodi, if it makes you feel better then you just run off home and pretend that what happened last night didn’t happen.”“She won’t take off, she’ll want to put this right, she always wants to right things, she always has.”
To his complete surprise Kodi just said “Okay, then I will,” and walked out of the door. It was a very displeasing outcome as far as Heathcliff was concerned and not at all the way it was supposed to go. That’s when he realised the complex nature of the whole thing, they could manipulate, help and direct, but at the end of the day it was really quite out of their control. “Is that why we couldn’t get anywhere with you Annie?” he asked out loud.
He went out onto the porch and sat down on the swing seat, “I wish we could just come out and tell her everything, but we have to sever the ties she has back there first. Or maybe she needs to be told the truth so she can sever the ties? Chicken or the egg? “Egg or the chicken? Which is the best way about this because I don’t even know anymore. Ed says she must sever the ties herself, but if she doesn’t know she needs to sever them, then why would she do it? I think Ed has this backwardassed, I think he’s got it wrong this time, and I think he got it wrong with Annie too. I need to speak to someone, maybe Saul or maybe someone neutral like Kaleb? I have to do something.”

Piczo